Lost Until You (The Sorrentino Brothers Series Book 1)

by Grant, J. R.

  Brix sat on the floor with the baby, playing with her blocks. “Go ahead. We’re good.”

  I grabbed my phone off the coffee table and walked into the kitchen. Dialing my parent’s number, Ma answered on the second ring.

  “Hey, B. Is everything okay?”

  I took a deep breath, not knowing what to say first. The last thing I wanted to do was make Ma cry any more than she already had. I was in over my head with this bullshit already.

  “I got the files back for Uncle Teto. Jazz looks nothing like him.”

  You could hear Ma inhale deeply, like she was getting ready to cry.

  “I’m so sorry,” she mumbled softly.

  “What are you sorry for, Ma? You didn’t do anything wrong. This is just going to be a bitch to prove now.”

  The line got quiet for a few long seconds before she opened up and said, “Have you thought about asking your father for a DNA test?”

  “Why would I do that? He said the timing didn’t match up.”

  I understood what she was saying but why? Why would I drag this out with him if he was so adamant he wasn’t Jazz’s father? Was I not supposed to believe him now?

  “Give me a second, honey,” she said and covered the phone. I could hear her and Dad talking, but I couldn’t make out what they were saying.

  A few minutes later, Ma got back on the phone. “Sorry, I had to step away from your father before I could suggest this.”

  “Suggest what?”

  “Look. I know he says the timing’s off but something in my heart is telling me he’s wrong. Now, I don’t want you to go and get all upset on me. You’ve had enough on your plate, honey. More than anyone your age should ever have. I’m just stating the facts. I thought about it since all this ruckus started. I don’t know if Dad’s been truthful about everything to you kids.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  If this was going to be any more bad news, I didn’t think I could hear it. I’d had enough to deal with these last few weeks; I couldn’t be hounded with anymore.

  “Well…for starters, Dad and that Peyton Lander had more than a one-time affair going on behind my back. Call me crazy, honey, but if I recall correctly, Peyton found out you and Brody were born and was heartbroken. She had planned to marry your father when they were in high school, but her daddy shipped her off to law school in Florida. I suppose she didn’t want to go that far, but when she came home, it was two or three times that I remember. The first time was when your father told you about. And there were two more times after that. In fact, I think I was pregnant with Bray during one of them.”

  While Ma continued talking, I zoned out, not believing everything was blowing up in my face all over again. There was more to what my father had told me and yet once again, I had taken his word, believing he had told the truth from the beginning.

  What was I going to do? Was Jazz really my half-sister?

  “B, honey. Are you there?” Ma asked, pulling me from my thoughts.

  “Yeah. I’m here,” I replied. “I’m sorry to cut you off. This is a lot to take in. Let me talk to you in the morning.”

  She hesitated, not wanting to hang up.

  “Will you still be bringing the baby? I don’t want you to push yourself away, honey. I know it’s a lot. We’ll get to the bottom of it, I promise.”

  Would we? This had to be tearing her apart. Hell, it had destroyed my family. What the fuck was wrong with my dad? If he didn’t want to be married or wanted to be with Peyton, why didn’t he leave Ma for good instead of all that back and forth shit?

  “Yes…no…hell, Ma. I can’t think right now. I’ll call you in the morning.”

  She let out a breath. “Okay. I’ll talk to you soon, honey. Love you.”

  “Love you too, Ma.”

  I hung up the phone, chucking it across the room.

  Fuck.

  I wish this were a nightmare, so I could wake the hell up.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Brax

  Another sleepless night marked off the calendar. After the conversation I’d had with Ma, there was no way I could have slept even if I’d tried. My thoughts were all over the place.

  Stone and Brix took off after I put Savanah to sleep. They had seen how pissed I was and tried to calm me down, but there wasn’t anything any one could have done. All I had felt was rage. My dad was one sick motherfucker, and I would be the first to let him know today.

  My alarm went off at seven, giving me ample time to process everything before I headed over there. I was moving a bit slow but that was to be expected. I was exhausted. If I didn’t have the baby last night, I would have driven my truck straight over and kicked my dad’s ass.

  I couldn’t believe that bastard had the decency to lie to my face. Dad dragged Ma through the mud all these years, and unfortunately, I was the one left to pick up the pieces. Not Brayden, not Brody, and certainly not Brix. It was all on me. Well, not anymore. I was over his shit. Now that I knew the truth, our relationship was finally over. I was writing my dad out of my life for good this time. He didn’t deserve to have me around, anyway.

  “Ma,” I barged through the front door, ready to get to the bottom of this shit.

  I laid Savanah on the couch and covered her up with a blanket, as Ma came out from the kitchen carrying a drink in her hand.

  “Where is he?” I asked, trying to keep my anger under control.

  I was having a hard time keeping still just knowing I was five seconds away from knocking his sorry ass out.

  Ma placed her hand on my chest. “Calm down, honey. That little girl doesn’t need to hear all of this commotion today.”

  I peeked down at my daughter, feeling bad for acting like king tut barging through my parents door. But whether Dad wanted to dish this shit out right now or not, he had no other choice. I was determined to get to the bottom of everything once and for all.

  “She’s asleep.” I shoved my hands in my front pockets. “Where is he?”

  Ma grabbed my arm and pulled me into the kitchen. She took a seat at the island, while I stood in front of her. She looked down in her lap, obviously trying to avoid the reason I was here.

  “He’s in the room, honey, but before you two go at it, we need to talk.”

  I couldn’t say what I wanted to say. Ma didn’t deserve the wrath meant toward my father. If anything, she was the innocent one who should have packed us kids up a long time ago and left his cheating ass.

  I crossed my arms over my chest. “Then talk,” I said, not meaning to sound harsh.

  Ma sat her glass down on the island before speaking. “He doesn’t know that I’m aware of the other times with Peyton. This is going to cause a war, B. You realize that, don’t you?”

  I shrugged my shoulders. “Yup, and I don’t give a shit. You’re foolish for staying with the lowlife all those years, but I commend you for it. I don’t know how women like you put up with that kind of bullshit. But that’s neither here nor there. I deserve to know what the fuck happened and so do you.”

  Ma shook her head, ready to defend my dad.

  “Stop.” I raised my hand. “Don’t go there. I’m not some ignorant chump you can push over, thinking I don’t know the truth, Ma. That man went behind your back while you were at home with HIS children and you still stood by his side. Now, I won’t say what I really want to say, because I love you and I’m not out to hurt you. This has nothing to do with you; I hope you realize that. But it’s time Dad gets put in his place. Once and for all, he needs to man up and stop all these damn lies.”

  Ma took another drink and then stood up, reaching out her arm.

  “Let’s go then.”

  We walked down the hallway and made it to her bedroom. Ma stopped outside the door and then turned around, looking me directly in the eyes.

  “For what it’s worth, I only stayed with him because I loved him, B. I…I thought he loved me, too. I know I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night if I was the reason our family wa
s torn apart.”

  All I could do was nod my head. Her giving me a piss poor excuse wasn’t going to fly. Ma wasn’t a fool for loving the man. She was unwise for putting up with his shit. That was one thing I didn’t agree with. I had no respect, no tolerance, for someone going behind their wife’s back in such a disrespectful way. It was wrong and made me look at my father indifferently.

  Brody, Brayden, Brix, and I had been raised right by my parents. We were taught how to treat girls, what they needed to make them happy, and why we should go out of our way not to hurt them. To top it off, most of that shit was taught by my father. So, for him to be a hypocrite and live the total opposite of how he had raised the three of us—I had no more respect for the man. And now that he had put Ma and my wife in the mix of it, all it did was make me fume even more.

  Shit. I need to calm down. I could feel myself getting ready to rage.

  Quietly, Ma turned the handle and pushed opened the door. I followed behind her inside the room. Dad was seated at his desk, working on what looked to be payroll. Ma cleared her throat, forcing Dad to turn around in his chair.

  “What’s going on?” He looked back and forth between the two of us.

  Ma walked over to the bed, taking a seat on the mattress, her eyes pleading with me to relax.

  “B’s here to talk, Ant. You might want to shut things down for now.”

  Dad looked down, like he knew nothing good was going to come from this conversation and closed the lid to his laptop. He pulled out a chair next to him and patted the seat.

  “Have a seat, son.”

  I shook my head, refusing the offer. I couldn’t do it. If I went anywhere near him, it wouldn’t be pretty. Things would get out of control real fast. I could tell my blood pressure was creeping off the charts. I needed to keep my distance. It was best for the both of us.

  “I’m good standing,” I spat, trying to control the rage boiling inside my body.

  Dad sat back, crossing one leg over the other and said, “Well, then. What seems to be the problem?”

  I’ll give him that; the man had a lot of balls. Was he kidding me? My father was a smart guy. Sometimes too smart for his own good. Clearly, Dad had known by now that he’d been caught in a web of lies he had created.

  “You lied,” were the first words to come out of my mouth.

  He raised his eyebrows. “About what?”

  “Your affair being a one-time deal with Peyton Lander. That’s what. You lied, and I want to know why.”

  I tried my best to compose myself, but my heart was beating out of my fucking chest. I wasn’t having much luck.

  “And where did you get your information, son?”

  That was it. He wasn’t going to treat me like some little bitch, belittling me like a fool. I was over his shenanigans.

  “Don’t go there with me, Dad. Don’t push me. It’s been a long fucking morning, and it just started. I’m running with no sleep and a piss poor attitude,” I warned him.

  “What the hell is going on?” He raised voice. “Amelia? Care to explain?” Dad searched Ma’s eyes.

  Ma looked down, not wanting to get into the middle of it. I promised her I would take care of it. She had her chance before and it only proved she was scared of the confrontation my father would bring.

  “This ain’t got nothing to do with Ma. It has to do with YOUR lies,” I yelled, pointing directly at him. “You sat my wife and me down, looked us both in the eyes and told us you had an affair with Peyton, ONCE. Not twice, Dad, ONCE, and it was bullshit.”

  Dad’s face automatically turned a fiery color red. You could tell he was full of shit a mile away. If he knew what was best, he would own up to his faults and be honest for once in his fucking life. Because I was five seconds away from losing my cool.

  Dad leaned forward and shook his head. “You’re right. It wasn’t just the one time.”

  “Then why’d you lie? Why couldn’t you say so from the beginning and not let things get out of control?”

  “I’m human, Brax. I make mistakes, too. Forgive me that I didn’t want Jazz to think Peyton was some kind of home-wrecker. She needed to have good memories of her mother, not deal with all of this shit.”

  “Forgive you? You’re kidding me, right? I lost everything because of you.”

  I reached in my back pocket and pulled out my wallet, handing him a picture I carried around of my two girls. Jazz was lying in bed with Savanah tucked against her chest. We had just gotten home from the hospital that week after welcoming our newborn daughter into the world. The two of them were sleeping peacefully, holding onto one another. It was like a breath of fresh air. I remembered this exact moment like it was yesterday.

  “Do you see this?” I asked, while he held the picture in his hands. “This is what you stole from me. Everything I lived for, everything I breathed for is in that picture. But YOU, the one who’s supposed to love me unconditionally, the one who’s supposed to be a role model and not tear my family apart, destroyed it all. You ruined my life.”

  Dad set the picture on his lap while tears streamed down his wrinkled face. Call me heartless, but I didn’t give a fuck. He deserved to cry. He deserved to feel every single ounce of my pain. I loved my two girls. They were my life. If I had to choose between living miserably and dying to free them, I would die in a heartbeat and not think twice about it. I loved Jazz and Savanah with everything in me, with all that I had. I was lost without my family.

  I was a wreck. For days now, I had cried. For weeks, I had missed my wife. I didn’t know what to do to fix my marriage. I didn’t know where to even begin. Jazz wouldn’t talk to me. She refused to see our daughter. I was at the end of my rope. I thought confronting my father today would help ease the pain, but all it had done was make things worse. I couldn’t live without my wife. I couldn’t live without my family together. I was nothing unless Jazz and Savanah were both beside me.

  “I’m sorry,” Dad spoke, looking straight at me. “I was wrong, son. I was wrong and I’ll live with the regret for the rest of my life. Your mother knows what kind of an affect this had on me. She forgave me.” He rubbed his hand over his face and then continued, “Please. Just tell me what to do. Tell me how to fix it and I will, B. I’ll try my damndest to make things right. I never meant to hurt you or Jazz. I never meant for this to get out of control. I could give you a million excuses for my crude behavior, but I’m not going to. It’s pointless. Now that I see all I’ve done, it’s killing me. I want to fix it for you both if you’ll let me.”

  He stood up then made his way over to where I had been standing. Then he reached out his arm, handing me back my picture. “For what it’s worth, Jazz loves you, B. She’s just hurting.”

  I snatched the picture out of his hands and stared down at it. “Yeah. You’re right. She’s hurting and now she’s gone. And it’s all because of you.”

  I sat down on the mattress next to Ma. She was a basket case. I never took a step back and thought about her feelings with everything today. And for that reason, I’d apologize for as long as she’d hear me out. But she had her husband. Her family might have been arguing, but she knew she had us all by her side. She knew we weren’t going anywhere. But I didn’t. I lost my family, because of one selfish mistake, and now it’d destroyed my life.

  “Can you at least answer my question?”

  “I’ll do my best. But if you’re looking for straight honesty then yes. I won’t ever lie to you again.”

  I studied his face carefully. I had to see if he was bullshitting me once again. “Is there any way you could be Jazz’s biological father?”

  Dad pondered on the question for a few minutes, which did nothing to resolve my feelings, and by the look on his face alone, I could tell I was in for a rude awakening.

  “I don’t believe so, but I’m going to say yes, because I’m not one hundred percent like you are asking.”

  I clenched my fists at my sides, ready to jump up and pound his face in. Ma reached across my l
ap, grabbing my hands, holding on to them tightly.

  “Why’d you do it?”

  I needed to know. There had to be something I was missing. My parents seemed to have a close-knit relationship when we were kids. They were affectionate, loving. They did everything together. It didn’t make any sense why he would cheat on Ma.

  “I have no real answer for that. Peyton and I went way back, long before your mother walked into the picture. We had chemistry. We had a strong connection. But when she came back from law school, I was married with four kids, three of whom were my own, one that was weeks away from being born. I had taken on the responsibility of raising Brix when my sister was sentenced to prison. Your mother and I were only in our late twenties, and had a family to raise, a house, and monthly bills to pay. It was no excuse, B. I’m not saying that at all.”

  There was nothing left for me to say. There was nothing left I could do. My father had gone out on Ma, leaving her home with four little kids, while he had multiple affairs. During that time, a baby was created, and I married her and called her my wife.

  My emotions were tugging at my heart, pulling me in a thousand different directions. My mind said to run. Run as fast as I could, but I couldn’t. I refused. I had waited weeks to see her beautiful face, to feel the touch of her soft skin. Leaving wasn’t an option. I would rather die than to end what Jazz and I had for good. I couldn’t waste another minute. I had to make things right. I couldn’t live without my girl.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Brax

  Talking to Dad did nothing except make me even more furious. I wanted to wrap my hands around his neck and rip his fucking head off. Dad deserved to feel something, because his tears didn’t mean shit. I had to leave before I was arrested for killing his sorry ass.

  I pulled Ma in my arms, giving her a hug goodbye. She held onto me tight before releasing her hold around me.

  “Go on,” she said with a sad smile. “I’ve got Savanah. Go get yourself right. She’ll be here when you’re done.”

  I kissed her cheek then stood up from the bed. I walked out of the room, not bothering to acknowledge my dad. I couldn’t sit in there and look at him any longer. The man made me sick.