Lost Until You (The Sorrentino Brothers Series Book 1)

by Grant, J. R.

  “I promise. She’s not going anywhere. You have my word,” I reassured her, refusing to allow that to happen.

  I followed her outside, walking her back to her car. I opened her door and helped her inside.

  “You call if you need me, all right. I’m here for you, too.”

  I shut her door, waving her off as she pulled out of the driveway.

  I needed to get out of here. I needed to keep myself busy. If I sat around and dwelled on this bullshit, I’d lose my damn mind.

  **

  The gym gave me a little bit of a release but not what I had been looking for. I punched the bag dozens of times, pretending it was Stone’s face, and still left feeling uneasy.

  I drove around town, not knowing where I should go. The last place I wanted to be was at my empty house with lingering memories of my family. I debated on calling my cousin to see if he wanted to meet me for a beer, but I kept driving instead. I wasn’t really up for company right now anyway.

  I got as far as Lewes and drove into Cape Henlopen State Park. With it being winter, the beach was clear of tourists. Very few residents liked to sit out there when it was this cold.

  I drove my truck onto the beach, opting to walk the pier, and parked back a ways from the shore. Reaching into my backseat, I grabbed my hoodie and threw it on, then hopped out onto the sand. The temperature stood at twenty-nine degrees with snow laying on the beach. If you’ve never seen a snowy beach before, then you were missing out on an exquisite sight. This was one of the times where I knew my wife loved taking shots of the ocean. The view was incredible.

  I pulled the back gate down on my truck and took a seat. I loved it here. I enjoyed sitting back with my wife and daughter, staring out into the ocean. I would hold Savanah in my lap while Jazz sat between my legs, enjoying the beauty surrounding us.

  As the waves crashed upon the shore, I stared out to sea. My mind drifted off to a place at that very moment that I needed to relive. A place that held pleasing memories of my past.

  **

  I swayed back and forth, holding Jazz close to my chest. Her arms wrapped around the back of my neck, as we danced to ‘Love of My Life’ by Sammy Kershaw. It was our first official dance together as husband and wife. I had requested this song because of the lyrics. Each word captivated me in more ways than one. We chose ‘More Than Words’ as our wedding song, but ‘Love of My Life’ was another one that I dedicated to Jazz.

  Jazz wasn’t only the love of my life. I lived, breathed, and got up every single day just to see her beautiful face. There weren’t enough words I could say to God to thank Him for placing her in my life. She meant everything to me.

  I tipped my chin and whispered in her ear, “You look gorgeous tonight.”

  Jazz pulled her body back, still keeping me close, and smiled. In that instant, my knees became weak. My wife had a way of turning me into a little bitch no matter where we were. Not that I cared. I would move Heaven and Earth for this girl, any time, any day.

  “You don’t look so bad yourself, hot stuff,” she giggled, and then leaned in, kissing my lips.

  I wrapped my hand around the back of her neck, sliding my tongue across her bottom lip. Jazz didn’t hesitate, allowing me to roam inside her sweet little mouth. I couldn’t get enough of her.

  Jazz chuckled against my lips and then laid her head on my chest. Even in heels, she didn’t come close to matching my height. I adjusted my hands on both sides of her perfectly round ass, continuing to hold her in my arms as the song ended.

  The DJ announced an open dance floor, as our friends and family circled around us, pulling Jazz and me apart. ‘It Takes Two’ by Rob Base came on and everyone got excited. Jazz, Kelly, Tanya, Athena and Jazz’s friend, Blue, from one of her old group homes, broke out into a straight line and started dancing. I was happy to see Jazz had someone close from her childhood here to celebrate her special day.

  I stood off to the side, watching my wife shake her ass unlike ever before. I had to keep my hands in front me, covering myself, so no one could see how hard my dick was getting.

  I knew my girl could dance, but fuck, the way she was moving her body was intoxicating. I didn’t know how long I could wait, keeping my hands to myself. I yearned to feel her touch, to press her body against mine, exploring places we’d never been before.

  Brix stalked over beside me. He had a goofy grin on his face. I lifted my chin to acknowledge his presence, but kept my eyes focused on Jazz.

  “I never thought I’d say this, dude, but Jazz looks fucking hot.”

  I shoved my elbow back, hitting him in the gut. “Watch it, cuz. That’s my wife.”

  Brix held out his hands as he stood there laughing. “Relax, B. She’s not going anywhere,” he joked. “At least not until I dive in and save the day.”

  I shook my head, ignoring everything he was saying. Brix was right, Jazz wasn’t going anywhere, but that didn’t give him permission to undress her with his eyes, especially on my wedding night.

  Brody, Brayden, and Keenan were standing behind me, laughing and carrying on. I could hear them talking about tits and ass, but I tuned them out if not, I would have gone postal on his fucking ass.

  The music changed halfway through each song, switching to another one. Before I had a chance to ask anyone about it, I was informed the whole thing had been planned.

  “They worked their asses off for this shit. I hope you’re enjoying it.” Brody bumped me from behind.

  Holy shit! They planned this? Jazz set this up?

  Fuck. My dick longed to be pressed inside her warm pussy. Right here. Right now. I needed to have her.

  Rob Base, Salt~N~Pepper, Eninem, Jodeci, and New Kids on the Block rang through the speakers, one after another. I couldn’t believe I knew nothing about this dance. Sneaky girl. I was going to make her do the dance tonight when we were alone.

  The music finally came to an end. Everyone clapped and a few whistled, while others tapped their glasses. That meant it was time to kiss my wife again. I walked over, trying not to look like an obsessed groom, and pulled Jazz close to me. I placed my hands on both sides of her cheeks and kissed her soft, tender lips.

  “You got moves, yeah?”

  She laughed, but when the realization of my statement finally hit her, Jazz’s eyes got big. My girl wasn’t dumb. She could read my mind sometimes before I even said anything.

  “Oh, no,” she squealed, pushing off my chest. “No…no, no, no, no, no…”

  I reached out to grab her waist, but she squirmed away from my hold.

  Jazz stood back, pointing her finger and laughing. “If you think for one minute I’m dancing for you naked, husband, you’ve got another thing coming.”

  I tried my damndest to keep a straight face, but I wasn’t having much luck. My girl knew she was spoiled, but this was one thing I wasn’t giving in on.

  “You wanna bet?”

  I caught a hold of her dress from behind, yanking her back to me. We kissed, walking backwards, stopping at the end of the hall. I took her hand, leading her into a room off the side. I shut the door, pinning her against the wall and staking my claim.

  “Mmmmmm…” She moaned into my mouth, forcing my dick to twitch.

  My hand traveled down her neck, over top her plump breasts, flicking and pulling at her perked up buds.

  “I…I want you…Please,” she softly cried against my lips.

  Fucking right! Who was I to say no to my girl? Sliding her dress up, I pushed her legs apart. I leaned back, looking at her face, shocked.

  “You went bare again?”

  Jazz laughed, nodding her head, and then kissed me again.

  I lifted her in my arms and wrapped her legs around my waist, walking her over to the table behind me. I sat her down, unzipped my zipper and didn’t waste any time ramming my cock inside her drenched pussy.

  Jazz threw her head back, trying to be quiet but couldn’t contain the moans coming from her mouth. She lifted her arm, wrapping it around
my neck, and inched her way up against me. I pumped inside of her heated spot, holding on to her hips, needing more, wanting to get as deep as humanly possible.

  I lowered my right arm, sliding my finger against her clit. She pulled up and grabbed a hold of my face, rocking against me.

  “I…Oh, God…B…” her deep whispers breathed against my ear, pushing me over the edge. My legs locked as I staked my claim for the first time as husband and wife.

  I pulled out of her, setting her legs on the ground. Jazz stood up, adjusting her dress as I zipped my pants back up.

  I wrapped her in my arms, kissing her swollen red lips. “I love you, Mrs. Sorrentino.”

  She giggled, her face turning a flushed pink.

  “I love you, too,” Jazz replied, as I reached for her hand. Together as one, we walked back out into the reception hall, feeling better than ever.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Jazz

  I hadn’t been able to think straight. My mind was all over the place. God forbid even trying to calm down. That just wasn’t possible. Nothing about today felt appeasing. Call me crazy, it wouldn’t be the first time, but all I wanted to do was pack my bags and leave town, skipping out on the results this morning. I didn’t think I could follow through with being rejected again. It would destroy me indefinitely.

  I had a few more minutes until I was due inside as I sat in my SUV, trying to get my emotions in check. I arrived here thirty minutes early, hoping I could make myself walk through the doors. I knew today was going to be hard, but the anxiety flowing through my body right now was absurd. This entire situation was terrifying to go through alone, but today, I had to do it. I would swallow my fears and get it over and done with. I would take the test and get the answers I desperately needed. I had to be able to move forward. It was a must.

  In less than fifty feet away, two men were battling out who was my biological father. As long as it didn’t end up being Anthony, I knew I would be okay. That I would stand a chance at living.

  I rested my forehead against the steering wheel, taking calming breaths. I could do this. I could overcome my fears. I just needed the strength to force myself out of the car.

  My cell phone buzzed from inside my purse. I reached inside, with shaky hands, and pulled it out. There were only three people who had my number; Dr. Aimee, Phyllis, and as of yesterday, Anthony. It had to be one of them.

  “Hello,” I said into the speaker, trying not to sound like an emotional wreck.

  “Oh, thank God. You answered,” Dr. Aimee announced with relief. I was pretty sure by the sound of her voice that she was worried about my well-being this morning.

  Not that I could blame her. If I were honest, I’d admit I was freaking the hell out, too.

  “I’m…here,” I mumbled, as I tried to get a hold of myself.

  “Breathe, sweetie. Everything’s going to be just fine. I promise. I’m waiting on the fax now. It’s being sent to LabCorp downstairs. Tricia promised to call my office as soon as it comes through.”

  I kept my fingers over the pulse on my neck, counting my heartbeats. It was something I had always done whenever an anxiety attack was stirring or about to break loose.

  “Are you okay?”

  I nodded and answered, “Yes.” But it was far from the truth. Dr. Aimee knew better than to believe me. She was very well aware of all my worries and fears.

  “This is your battle, Jazz, and today of all days, it’s time to overcome your fears.”

  I knew this. I got what she was saying. I just had to get my mind on board. Fighting anxiety was never easy, but if you are able to let up and focus on the positive, you could push your way through. It was just getting to that point where I had the most trouble.

  “Okay…I…I’m okay,” I said, wishing I could get my stuttering under control. Whenever I was nervous, I tend to muddle my words. It was an old habit I had to learn how to break.

  “Good. That’s what I want to hear. Do you need me to come out and get you? Because I will. I have no problem helping you do this, but the internal struggle I can’t fight. That’s all on you, sweetie.”

  “I know. I…umm…” I was disappointed in myself for even asking her to help me, but maybe if I had a little push, I could move quicker. “Can you come? Please?”

  “I’d like that,” she agreed. “Give me two minutes, okay. Are you right out front of the building or parked across the street?”

  I looked around the parking lot and replied, “I’m right out front. Second row to the left.”

  “Got it. Hang tight. I’ll be out in just a few minutes.”

  “Okay…Thank you.”

  “That’s what I’m here for, sweetie. I’ll see you soon.”

  If Dr. Floral had never made me see Dr. Aimee, I would probably be dead. She saved my life. Dr. Aimee was a true godsend. Whenever I got better, I would be sure to pay her back for all she had done.

  I hung up the phone then shoved it back inside my purse. I pulled the visor down to look my face over in the mirror, hoping I wasn’t a hot mess. Unfortunately, it was inevitable. With little to no sleep these last few months, it was regretfully catching up with me. The dark circles weren’t the only issue I had. My face was so sunken in, you could see the bone outline my jaw, looking as if I hadn’t eaten in weeks. God, I just wanted to smack myself for looking this way. It wasn’t me. The shell that I had become in the mirror was a scary sight.

  I pushed up the visor and shut off my SUV, gathering my belongings. I opened the door then stood outside, allowing the wind to blow against my body. I hated the cold weather, but I enjoyed feeling it today. I had been so hot and clammy due to my anxiety that the coldness felt good brushing against my skin.

  I armed the alarm, leaned my back against the door, and closed my eyes, chanting soundlessly to myself.

  You can do this, Jazz. You’ll be fine. Go in there, take the test, and ask the questions you’ve been waiting to get answered. That’s it. That’s all you have to do.

  Something brushed against my shoulder, scaring the ever living shit out of me. I jumped straight up, throwing my hand over my mouth, ready to freak out on someone.

  No…

  How did he…

  He…he’s here…Oh my, God! He…he’s really here…

  “Jazz, are you okay?”

  His voice…

  I haven’t heard that deep, manly voice in so long. I exhaled and took a chance, looking into his eyes. My God, he was gorgeous. I could stare at him forever. Brax was a beautiful man both inside and out.

  He was wearing his black North Face jacket with a black snow hat on his head. He had light blue jeans on with black work boots, looking splendidly edible.

  He placed both of his hands on the side of my cheeks.

  “Talk to me, baby. Tell me you’re okay,” he begged, needing me to give him an answer.

  I nodded my head, reluctantly, not trusting myself to speak. I was two seconds away from getting back in my Land Rover and taking off. I had to be strong. I couldn’t run. Not now. Running for me was over. Today was a new day. I promised myself I would get through this, and dammit, nothing, not even my gorgeous husband, was going to stop me.

  I kept my eyes focused on his, surprising myself when I said, “I…I’m okay.” I whispered the words, hoping he didn’t ask me to repeat myself, because I knew I wouldn’t be able to.

  “Good.” Brax smiled. “I’ve been praying for you.”

  He’d been praying for me? What did I say to that? Because a thank you wouldn’t do justice in our situation.

  I looked around the parking lot, trying to avoid as much as I possibly could with him. Being around Brax shouldn’t make me nervous, but I was and there was no excuse for pushing him away any longer.

  Where was Dr. Aimee? She should have been out here by now.

  “Hey.” Brax grabbed my hand, bringing it to his lips.

  I used to love the feeling of his mouth brushing against my skin. It might have been a small kind gest
ure to some, but to me it held endless meanings I couldn’t describe.

  “I’m sorry if I caught you off guard. I’ve been watching the door for the last forty-five minutes. When I didn’t see anyone go in or come out, I got worried.”

  He was watching the door? How did he know I was here?

  “Why are you here?” I managed to ask him. I wasn’t trying to be rude. I was just curious. But the hurt look flashing across his face made me cringe. I loathed making him upset.

  I never meant to hurt Brax. I needed him beside me through all that went down, but things hadn’t worked out that way. And instead of allowing in those closest to me, I ran and now I was pretty sure I had lost all of my friends along the way, including my husband.

  You only did it to yourself.

  “I came to be with you, Jazz, to support you,” Brax stated, and I had to do everything I could to force back the tears.

  “I’ve missed you, baby. I’ve missed you so much. Please let me be here with you. Please don’t push me away. I think I’ve been patient long enough.”

  He was right. I pushed him away far too long; it was time I let these harbored fears go. I wanted nothing more than to jump in his arms and beg him to take me home, but I had to get this over with first. I had to go in there, take the test, and find out who my biological father was. I couldn’t get my hopes up again. I had done enough of that my entire life. It was time I followed through and made wise choices from here on out. Then, if Brax still wanted to be with me, I would go home and rekindle the relationships with my family. If he didn’t, I didn’t know what I would do. I loved that man with every fiber of my being. I just prayed he would forgive me for being so distant and pushing him and Savanah away when they needed me. Clearly, I was a human being left with no other choice.

  If Brax was anything, he was loyal. That man had loved me through all of my good times and bad, my faults and insecurities, and everything that ever came over me, Brax never left my side. Not once. This situation shouldn’t have been any different, but the mere fact that he could very well be my brother scared the hell out of me. There was no way I could stomach the thought.