Lost Until You (The Sorrentino Brothers Series Book 1)

by Grant, J. R.

  I climbed off the bed, searching for my clothes. I wanted to let him think about it. Making him wait an extra minute wasn’t going to kill him.

  Once I found my nightgown and panties, I used the bathroom and then met Brax back on the bed. As we crawled under the covers together, I turned and faced him.

  “You gonna tell me or do I have to guess?” He searched my eyes.

  I shrugged my shoulders, and then spilled the beans. I wasn’t sure how I had kept it in this long.

  “When I said I went to work this morning, I lied. I went to the doctor’s instead.”

  Brax’s face paled. “Then why didn’t you tell me? I would have gone with you.”

  “We’re expecting.”

  Brax sat back, watching me intently, without saying a word.

  “Say something,” I whispered, hoping this wasn’t a mistake. I thought he wanted to have another baby, to expand our family and give Savanah a brother or sister. Maybe not. Maybe I read him wrong all this time. Oh, God. What was I thinking?

  As doubts wisped through my mind, I couldn’t miss what had happened next. Brax rolled me over, pinning me down on the mattress, then kissed the hell out of me.

  “I love you,” he mumbled against my lips. “I love you so fucking much, Jazzy.”

  I wasn’t expecting that kind of reaction, but I was glad Brax was happy. Had he not wanted this for us, I would have died right then and there.

  “How far along?” Brax asked as he lifted me up on the pillow.

  “Eight weeks today,” I said happily.

  “Fucking right!”

  He ripped my nightgown back off and made love to me for a second time tonight.

  My family was complete. No matter how many more babies we had in the future, this was our life. Brax and I against the world. No one could stop us. Our love overpowered everything.

  **

  Two half months had passed since the DNA test results came back and I was able to finally go home. After picking Savanah up from Brax’s parents, I wanted to spend the weekend with my family before I worried about getting my things from the apartment. I never fully unpacked, anyway. I pretty much lived out of boxes, which ended up being a good thing. All we had to do was grab my stuff and go after handing over the keys.

  Since I surpassed my three month lease the landlord had no problem with me moving out. He wished Brax and I the best of luck and told us to lock up when we were done.

  It felt weird getting settled back at home, but in a good way. I couldn’t explain why. Maybe because I had been used to living alone, but honestly, there was nowhere else I would rather be. My heart belonged with Brax and Savanah no matter how much I tried fighting my feelings. I was just thankful things turned out the way they did and I could finally get my life back. I missed the two most important people in my life.

  I still met with Dr. Aimee once a week for the last two months. It was probably best I stayed in touch with her, anyway. She helped me overcome so many obstacles in such a short time, I didn’t think it would be wise if we lost all contact.

  The verdict for my father was still up in the air, and truthfully, I felt like I needed to let it go. After everything I had been through with Anthony and Teto, I didn’t have it in me to go down that road again.

  Now that we knew my father in law wasn’t my biological father, I felt more at peace. However stirring up more havoc in my life wasn’t an option. Maybe one day my dad would come looking for me. Or maybe not. Either way, I had who I wanted and those I needed in my life. My world was complete.

  Teto stopped by our house the day after the DNA test. Brax invited him in and made him share with us his side of the story. It wasn’t much different than Anthony’s: he fell in love with my mom, he wanted to marry her, and right before she had me, he found out my biological father was between three different guys; Teto, Anthony and another man that had been stationed off in Afghanistan with the Army.

  Teto finally admitted that he was the one at the hospital the day Peyton delivered me. He told Brax and I that when she flat-lined on the bed, he ran. Not from me, not because of me, but for the mere fact that he was twenty-five years old and scared to death. He also claimed that he knew for sure I wasn’t his daughter as soon as he got a good look at me. How he figured that out, I had no idea, but he was right, regardless.

  He shed a few tears when speaking about my mom and it made me cry. She might have gotten herself caught up in a love triangle but she had some pretty amazing men who cared her deeply no matter what.

  As much as I wanted to hate Teto for holding back all of that information, I decided to just let it go. My life wasn’t about holding onto grudges. If Brax and his family could forgive me for all I had done, then I needed to forgive those who had hurt me. I couldn’t be angry anymore. It wasn’t worth it.

  As of today, I still hadn’t spoken to Kelly or Tanya. I tried reaching out to them several times, but they continued denying my calls. I knew one day we would come face to face and I would need to apologize, but until then, it was best to give them space. I cut them both out of my life, abruptly, and left them worrying about my well-being. I knew I’d be furious with me too if the roles were reversed. That’s why I wasn’t going to push either one of them. When they were ready, I would be here. I was never leaving ever again.

  As far as Stone went, he was no longer welcome in our home. I understood why Brax held that kind of grudge, but a part of it made me feel bad. I had been the one drinking, I was the one having crazy thoughts. Maybe I led Stone into believing I wanted him to kiss me, but Brax would never see it that way.

  I hated the thought of tearing a lifetime friendship apart, but he insisted that if Stone was, in fact, his true friend, he would have never touched me to begin with. I agreed, but it still didn’t make me feel any better. I just hoped one day we could all rekindle our friendships and move on.

  Sometimes we went through life fighting the unescapable. There were challenges we faced that we weren’t prepared for and others that forced us to let people go.

  In the last year, the love Brax and I had for one another carried us through this crazy storm. And no matter how hard we broke or fell apart, thinking our lives were over, our love never failed.

  We shared an unbreakable bond as husband and wife. No one could tear us apart. There were many things I had learned while going through the motions of this horrific situation, but one in general stuck out the most.

  If you loved someone with your whole heart, more than anything in the world, they become worth the fight.

  They are lost until you.

  The End!

  Stay tuned for book 2 Coming soon!

  Shattered Promises

  Preview

  Prologue

  One thousand, four hundred, and sixty days have passed since my life forever changed. I’ve loved, I’ve lost, and I’ve been through more heartache and pain than I care to openly acknowledge. But somehow, with each day that passes by, I’ve managed to make it through, little by little. But not by choice. Because if I had a say in everything that had gone wrong in the past four years, I would have ended my life rather quickly. I would have continued on with my lowest, stupidest stunt, just to stop the pain from lingering. The pain that ripped my heart into shreds. The pain that shattered me.

  The hurt in me was visible. My crushed soul was evident. And each day I woke up, the perpetual pain continued to suck me dry. I just wanted to be happy. I just wanted to feel free. For once in my life, I just wanted to be loved.

  I thought my husband genuinely cared for me, I thought I was his one and only, his pride and joy. Little did I know I was wrong, dead wrong, and now because of my stupidity and my blindness, every ounce of hope I had within me had been demolished.

  He wrecked me; Kade Foster ruined me.

  And from here on out, I’ll have to live with the sins of my husband’s destruction.

  There was a time in my life when I thought I had it all, never seeing this big clusterfuck of a mess
heading in my direction. But now that the storm has passed and everything that could have gone wrong, did, I need to continue pushing myself forward in every way possible. I’ve got to. My boys depend on me, they need me. I’m all they have.

  “It’s time.” Ryder peeks her head through the other side of the door.

  Taking a deep breath, I turn around and reach for my sweater off the bench, and then make my way over to the double doors.

  As I reach for the handle, Ryder grabs a hold of my arm, stopping me from leaving.

  “I am sorry all of this has happened to you and the boys. If I could have taken away your pain from the very beginning, I would have done it in a heartbeat. But I’m so proud you, Lani. Look how far you’ve come,” she smiled at me with tears in her eyes.

  “When we leave here today, and walk out those doors.” Ryder turns around and points to the front of the courthouse. “Today will be the first day of the rest of your life, and I want nothing more from you than to try and make the best of it. I want to see you smile, Lani. Because out of everyone, you deserve nothing but happiness.”

  Staring at me gaily, she pushes a couple pieces of hair out from the front of my eyes before continuing.

  “Promise me you’ll do your best and reach for the stars, and never give up hope. From here on out, it’s your time to shine. It’s your time to live again.”

  Nodding my head, I reply, “I promise,” and lift my finger to dab at the tears falling from the corner of my eye. Straightening my dress, I do the best I can to regain my composure.

  I vowed to myself before I left the house this morning that I wouldn’t cry today. Or at least try not to. I know it sounds crazy given everything I have gone through these past couple of years, but I can’t let him get the best of me. Not today, and certainly not anymore. Kade’s had more than his fair share of wrecking my life. Now it’s my turn to stand strong and live for me and the boys. They are my focus, they are who matters the most.

  “Thank you for all you’ve done, Ry; for being here, holding my hand, and helping me get through every day the best way you could. Without a shadow of a doubt, I know I wouldn’t have made it this far without you,” I tell her with sincerity, even though I want nothing more than to run to my car, fly home, and hide under the covers for the remainder of the day.

  But I have to do this. I need to. Whatever the outcome is at the end of this hearing, I will make it out on top. I have proved to myself through all of the turmoil and pain that I am an overcomer.

  Ryder leans in and kisses my cheek. Then she pulls back and says, “I love you, sweetlips. I’ll never leave your side. You’re stuck with me forever.”

  She grabs a hold of my hand and pulls the door open. Together, my best friend and I walk inside the courtroom.

  I can do this…

  Acknowledgements

  First and foremost I want to thank God for all He has brought me through. No matter what happens in my life, He has never failed me. I wouldn’t be here without Him by my side today.

  While writing this particular story, I was taken through a whirlwind of emotions. The ups, the downs, the overall story gutted me entirely. I felt every ounce of pain Brax and Jazz had to deal with. I felt their love, their sadness and their compassion toward one another. It was an overwhelming but remarkable experience as a fiction writer.

  To my family, I hope and pray you all know how much you mean to me. Because I am nothing without each and every one of you. You are my world, my life, my everything. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for pushing me and never giving up, even through the bad times. I love you all to the moon and back ♥ JJSJJ ♥

  To my Aussie girl! Thank you doesn’t sound like the correct word to express how grateful I am for you. I cannot imagine what you thought of this American chick freaking out every time something went wrong. You’ve had my back, kept me on the right track, and never, not once, let me down. Even when it came down to the last hour, you proofread while I edited over the computer, spending your days helping me. I owe you the world, Leanne, and I can’t thank God enough for having placing you in my life.

  Kelly, Tanya and Athena…. Where do I begin? This has been one hell of a ride. You three have believed in me and refused to let me give up every time I wanted to throw in the towel. You’ve witnessed my struggles first hand, and no matter what, you continued pushing me to do my best and encouraged me to keep going. Thank you for everything you do!

  To my sista from another mista! Gah…..I cannot say thank you enough, PJ! Your words of encouragement, your inspiration and the way you push me to keep going, I owe you the world. Thank you for believing in me!

  Last but not least, to all of the bloggers and readers who have continued following me through this journey. Thank you for supporting me, pimping my teasers and most importantly, for reading my stories. No one this would have been possible without any of you.

  Thank you!

  About the author

  J.R. Grant is an avid reader, a fictional writer and a mom to three amazing munchkins.

  When she’s not plotting her next story or at one of her kids sporting events, you can catch her on the beach with her kindle in hand, soaking up the sun.

  For more information on this author, visit one of the social media sites below.

  www.authorjrgrant.com

  www.twitter.com/authorjrgrant

  www.facebook.com/authorjrgrant

  www.goodreads.com/authorjrgrant

  Shattered Promises

  Available now!

  Lost Until You

  Book One in the Sorrentino Brothers Series

  Broken Until You Coming in 2015!

  Book Two in the Sorrentino Brothers Series

  Table of Contents

  One

  Two

  Three

  Four

  Five

  Six

  Seven

  Eight

  Nine

  Ten

  Eleven

  Twelve

  Thirteen

  Fourteen

  Fifteen

  Sixteen

  Seventeen

  Eighteen

  Nineteen

  Twenty

  Twenty-One

  Twenty-Two

  Twenty-Three

  Twenty-Four

  Twenty-Five

  Twenty-Six

  Twenty-Seven

  Twenty-Eight

  Twenty-Nine

  Thirty

  Thirty-One

  Thirty-Two

  Thirty-Three

  Thirty-Four

  Thirty-Five

  Prologue to Shattered Promises

  Acknowledgements

  About the Author

  Chapter One