Love at Large

by Jaffarian;others

  Later, Erik shocked her while they danced, when he began dropping hints that Marcus had a crush on her.

  “You know,” Erik began, pulling away from her. “You’re all he talks about.”

  “He talks about me?”

  “Yeah, every night before we go to sleep he says Fallon did this or Fallon did that. Or he asks, ‘Did you see how beautiful she looked today?’ He’s driving me crazy, and I think you should put him out of his misery.”

  He smiled his dazzling smile, but it lost most of its effect on her as the full impact of his words hit.

  She peered at him. “What do you mean, ‘put him out of his misery’?”

  He whispered in her ear, “You know, kiss him.” He chuckled then pulled back. “That might just make it worse, so I don’t know. All I know for certain is he has it bad for you. The slightest encouragement from you would make his summer unforgettable.”

  She frowned. “Are you telling me he has a crush on me?”

  “I think it’s more than a simple crush. He’s crazy about you. I can’t believe you can’t see how he feels.”

  “I’m sorry, but I …” Her words trailed off as she scanned the room and saw Marcus watching her. The look in his eyes took her breath away – it was obvious he was infatuated with her.

  “But you—what?” Erik asked.

  She smiled at him. “Never mind.”

  After the music ended, he walked her to the edge of the dance floor. “Just think about what I said.” He tilted his head in Marcus’ direction. “He really does have it bad for you.”

  Fallon nodded then decided to go outside. The camp assembly hall sat near a lake, and she strolled down to the closest dock and lowered herself onto the rough wooden planks. She could hear the music in the background, but it was quiet enough to allow her time to think about Erik’s words.

  She kicked her legs back and forth and stared at the moon’s reflection on the water. She was not used to being the object of a boy’s affection, and it sent a thrill through her to know that someone as nice as Marcus thought she was beautiful. Although her family always supported and encouraged her, she knew that society did not regard her as ideal in appearance. “But then, neither is he,” she whispered.

  She smiled as she pictured him pushing his glasses back up the bridge of his nose or running a hand through his perpetually tousled hair. He might not be a movie star in looks, but he was a prince in actions. She recalled every time he’d opened a door or pulled out a chair for her. He was gallant and sweet.

  She shivered as she thought of how deep his gaze seemed to penetrate any time he focused his full attention on her. The more she thought about it, the more she realized he did that often.

  She looked down at her hands. “Why me, Marcus?”

  She gasped when she heard the object of her thoughts reply, “Why you what?”

  Fallon twisted around to find Marcus standing at the edge of the dock, studying her.

  “I hope you don’t mind if I join you,” he said and walked toward her. “I saw you leave the dance and wanted to be sure you were okay.”

  She stared, struck mute at the sight of him. How had she missed the muscles beginning to form on his arms and chest? Or the slight cleft in his chin and his prominent cheekbones? She shivered again as she returned his intense gaze.

  “Are you cold?” he asked, dropping down beside her.

  She nodded, knowing she couldn’t tell him the truth. She didn’t understand these strange new feelings, much less how to explain them to him.

  “Here.” He slipped off his denim jacket and draped it about her shoulders, then entwined his fingers with hers. “Your hands are cold too.” He folded his hands around hers, lifted them to his face and blew on them, warming them.

  Fallon felt a rush of heat low in her body and knew her cheeks must be a bright rosy red. Confused by the suffusion of sensations in her body, she almost shivered again as he continued blowing on her hands. He lifted his eyes, and she gasped at his forceful expression.

  “So are you going to answer my question?” he asked, smiling.

  She furrowed her brow. “What question?”

  “I heard you say ‘why me, Marcus?’ and I replied ‘why you what?’”

  “I-I—well, I was just wondering why Erik has this crazy notion that you have a crush on me.” The words came out in a rush, and she felt her cheeks grow even warmer.

  “So, he let the cat out of the bag, did he?” He gazed at her. “It’s true, you know. I’ve been falling in love with you from the moment I saw you.”

  She opened her eyes wide. “Falling in love with me?” She shook her head. “No, I don’t believe it’s love; a crush I can accept, but love? I think we’re too young to be in love.”

  He shrugged. “Believe what you will, but I know how I feel.”

  She pursed her lips and tilted her head. “And just what do you know about love?”

  He stared at her for a moment. “Maybe not much, but I know that when you walk into the room my world seems brighter, more colorful. I know that every time I see you, it’s like my own personal ray of sunshine begins to beam down on me. I know that every smile of yours that I see makes me happy to be alive. I know that every time we talk, I feel more complete and whole.”

  She quivered at the intensity of his words.

  He shrugged again and pushed his glasses up his nose. “I don’t know what else to call it but love.” He looked straight into her eyes. “Do you have any ideas what else it could be?”

  She swallowed and whispered, “No.” Focusing on her hands in her lap, she vaguely recalled pulling them from his when he’d mentioned the “L word.”

  “Then I guess it must be love.” Warm breath grazed her ear, and she lifted her eyes to find his face inches from hers. She took a deep breath, expecting something from him but not sure what.

  He pulled away and reached into the pocket of the jacket around her shoulders, his fingers brushing lightly along the edge of the neckline of her blouse. He froze, and she sucked in her breath. “Pardon me,” he murmured then pulled out a folded sheet of paper. “I know it’s not as nice as the real thing, but I wanted you to have this. For your birthday.”

  “You remembered.” She smiled at him, noting the blush that crept over his cheeks. “Thank you.”

  He swallowed and replied, “You’re welcome. I hope you like it.” He handed her the paper.

  “It’s beautiful, Marcus.” Fallon was touched that he had taken the time to draw a rose for her. His attention to detail was remarkable, and she trailed a fingertip over the petals then clasped the drawing to her chest. “It’s really beautiful. I’ll treasure it always.”

  He turned his head away, and they both stared out over the lake. She looked him, then reached over and touched his glasses. “Can you see without these?”

  He glanced back at her. “Fairly well. The only reason I’m not wearing my contact lenses is my parents figured I’d lose them here at summer camp, and they’re too expensive to keep replacing.” His lips twitched. “I’ve lost about three pairs already since I first got some a year ago.”

  Fallon laughed, then touched the frames again. “Could I see what you look like without your glasses?”

  Marcus slipped the glasses from his face. “I like to hear you laugh. It’s such a nice sound.”

  He turned, and she gasped at the change in his appearance. “Marcus.”

  Everything seemed to slow down as he bent his head nearer, his mouth hovering over hers. With sudden clarity, she heard crickets and other night bugs humming in the background. She heard Roberta Flack and Peabo Bryson’s voices pouring out of the assembly hall. She heard waves lapping at the shore and the creak of the dock. She heard his sudden intake of breath as he pressed his lips to hers. She heard the roar of her heart pounding as tingly sensations spread throughout her whole body.

  In that moment, she knew she would never forget the pressure of his mouth against hers, the feel of the tip of his tongue licking a
long the seam of her lips, or the experience of their tongues touching softly. She closed her eyes, swept away by the tide of new emotions flowing through her when he breathed her name against her lips.

  Marcus pulled away to gaze into Fallon’s eyes, then placed his hands on her cheeks and covered her lips with his a second time. His thumbs caressed her as he pressed soft kisses against her mouth. She heard sighs and was shocked to realize they were hers. She had never imagined kissing someone could be this intense and moving.

  They pulled apart at the sound of a discreet cough behind them, and turned to find Erik standing at the edge of the dock. “You kids better make sure you don’t get caught.” He grinned as they jumped to put distance between their bodies.

  Marcus slipped his glasses back on, his hands trembling, then pushed himself up to stand, teetering for a moment to maintain his balance. He extended his hand to Fallon, grasped her hands and pulled her up. She slipped the jacket off her shoulders and passed it to him, then leaned over and hastily grabbed the drawing, folding it and slipping it into her pocket.

  Marcus muttered, “Excuse me,” placed a soft kiss into her palm then dashed off the dock, leaving Erik and Fallon to stare after him.

  “So, what now?” Erik asked.

  “I don’t know,” she replied. “I-I’m so confused. I just don’t know what to do from here.”

  He turned to face her. “Look, I know how Marcus feels about you, so why not give it a shot and see how it works out? You have a wonderful friendship, why not let it develop into something more?”

  She sighed.

  “Come on, let’s go back in,” he said. “I’m sure Marcus will want to have you in his arms again.”

  She smacked his arm.

  “I mean while you dance.”

  They laughed then walked back into the assembly hall.

  The rest of the dance and the remaining time at camp passed by in a blur, with the exception of a few stolen kisses for Marcus and Fallon. At the end of the six weeks, they had exchanged addresses and promised to write, and had maintained contact through letters and occasional phone calls.

  Time and distance eventually took their toll on the relationship, and the flow of mail lessened until it stopped altogether.

  MARCUS SIGHED AND placed his forehead in his hand. The workweek had been stressful and hectic, the final commute home insane. Between the weather and the reckless drivers, he was amazed he’d arrived at his front door in one piece.

  To make matters worse, his concentration had been disrupted by the deejay’s discussion of first kisses. In the twenty years since his first one, he had thought often of the beautiful, auburn-haired girl who’d stolen his heart from the day he met her. Fallon O’Shea had been the plump camper at summer camp, the perfect foil to his skinny geek.

  Each time she’d glanced his way he’d felt a thrill from the top of his head to the tips of his fingers and toes, and as an adult he understood now what he didn’t know then. His yearning for her had been that of a young boy experiencing the first rush of hormones. Now, he wanted to see the woman and experience the full power of his desire for her.

  To add even more fuel to the reminiscing fire, he’d heard the song that had been playing in the background when they’d kissed. He’d nearly driven off the road when “Tonight, I Celebrate My Love” began. As Roberta Flack and Peabo Bryson harmonized, he recalled how soft Fallon’s lips had been, how sweet she’d tasted.

  In his home office, he walked to the desk and pulled open a drawer. Removing a folded piece of paper, he opened it and smoothed it out on the desktop. He stared at her name typed on the certificate and ran his finger over the letters. Twenty years ago, he’d offered to keep it from getting crumpled while they danced, then had never returned it. He considered it his only link to her and the sweet young love they had shared.

  He began massaging the back of his neck. “Damn it, Fallon! Where are you?” At the sound of his front door slamming, he groaned. “And why does he have to pick now, of all times, to come for a visit?”

  All Marcus wanted was some time to himself; time to let his mind drift and relive the memory of kissing Fallon. The last thing he wanted was to deal with Erik.

  “Marcus? Where are you, buddy?”

  He steeled himself, preparing for the whirlwind that was Erik. “In here.”

  Erik came through the doorway, smiling as always, and walked over to clasp Marcus’ shoulder. “I have the best idea for tonight.”

  Marcus lifted an eyebrow.

  “Let’s go to a karaoke bar.”

  He stared at his best friend. “Are you mad? You want to go to a karaoke bar? You can’t sing, and I don’t want to, so what good reason would we have for going?” He narrowed his eyes. “And just how would you know about any local bars, anyway? You’re only visiting.”

  “I saw it as we drove by yesterday. When we got back here, I looked it up online and found out it was a karaoke bar. Come on, how could you not like a place called ‘Dutch Courage’?”

  Marcus reached to push his glasses up the bridge of his nose and muttered a curse under his breath. He knew thinking about Fallon contributed to his slipping back into this nervous tic even though he no longer wore glasses, because he had done this several times since hearing Cassie LeBeau discussing first kisses.

  “You still have that habit? You haven’t worn them for a while now, have you?” Eric asked.

  Marcus grinned. “Yeah, when I get agitated, I still reach for my specks. It’s been at least three years since I wore glasses for any extended period of time, because Amanda hated them, but old habits die hard.”

  Erik laughed. “Come on, let’s go to that crazy karaoke bar and make fools of ourselves. It’ll be fun.”

  Marcus started to speak, but Erik interrupted him. “Come on, you seem like you could use some cheering up.” He put his hand on Marcus’ shoulder. “Is something eating at you?”

  Marcus sighed. “I heard something on the radio today that set the wheels to turning in my head. This deejay had people calling in about their first kiss, and I started thinking about Fallon again. And then they played ‘that song.’” He ran his hand over his eyes.

  “I’m not surprised you would think about Fallon. You nearly drove me insane that summer talking about her.”

  Marcus leaned back and tossed a wry smile at his friend. “Yeah, I know. I didn’t see anything else that summer other than Fallon. She was beautiful, probably still is. I could kick myself for losing track of her, losing contact with her.” He sighed again.

  “She was my life that summer. Everything I’d ever dreamed of, everything I’d ever hoped for in a woman. I can’t believe I found that one true love, my soul mate, at the age of sixteen. I was so damn stupid to let her slip through my fingers. I miss her, and keep finding myself wondering what she’s like now. I want to see her again; I need to see her again.”

  He wrinkled his brow and watched Erik press his lips together. “What are you up to? I can almost see the light bulb going on over your head.”

  “You need something to take your mind off missing Fallon, and I think karaoke is the answer. I promise I’ll even get up there and make an absolute idiot of myself.” Erik laughed then grinned.

  Marcus snorted. “Yeah, I know about your singing ability, or lack thereof. Promise me you won’t get up there, and I’d be more likely to go.”

  “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever gets you out the door, okay?”

  FALLON OPENED HER eyes and stared at the ceiling. She regretted losing contact with Marcus. They had drifted apart, graduating from high school then entering college. As they moved through life, the number of letters and calls dwindled before finally dying off as they neared their respective college graduations.

  She was glad she’d kept in touch with Erik even after she and Marcus quit writing. More recently, they had started corresponding through email, and Erik would occasionally share news about Marcus. She decided she would ask Erik about him in her next message.

&
nbsp; She sighed. The memory of that night had become sweeter over time, enhanced by the intervening years. She sat up and looked over to the framed drawing on her bedroom wall. Two decades was a long time, and in spite of the many changes in her life, she had kept the birthday drawing Marcus had given her. She crossed the room and skimmed her fingers over the glass, then closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

  Although she’d carried a torch for Marcus for a long time, she’d made forays into the dating world after college graduation and had married at age twenty-eight. Nothing Dan had done in their brief marriage had ever compared to Marcus’ drawing, and she knew Dan had resented her for keeping the gift.

  Four years after saying “I do,” they’d divorced after Fallon found Dan in her bed with another woman. In the three years since her divorce, she had dated a few men, but through the years no one lit the spark in her Marcus had twenty years earlier. She knew deep down that no matter what she said or claimed, the torch for him still burned bright inside her.

  She turned on the radio then went to her closet to put together a fun ensemble for the night’s activities. She pulled out a peach-colored peasant blouse and denim skirt. The nearly sheer top clung to her upper curves while the denim hugged her hips, falling around her ankles with a slit that stopped just above her knees. She smiled at the hint of thigh that could be seen with each step. She was proud of her voluptuous, size-22 body and enjoyed showing it off by wearing clingy, form-fitting outfits.

  Brushing her hands over the dark blue fabric, she thought again of the kiss from Marcus, remembering the denim skirt she’d worn when their lips had met.

  “Enough already. Save that for another day.” She straightened her shoulders, exhaled, skimmed her hands down her body, and fluffed her hair.

  She smiled as she thought of how much fun she and her friends had on their bi-weekly night out—stuffing their faces then hitting Dutch Courage, their favorite karaoke bar.

  FALLON MET SANDRA, Camille, and Felicia, at Oriental Delight, the Chinese restaurant near her house. Over spring rolls, steamed dumplings, wonton soup, eight-treasure chicken, tangerine beef, and sliced pork with black bean sauce, they laughed and talked. As each course was brought to the table, the women drank a toast to friendship and happiness with their tea.