Reagan Through the Looking Glass (Hacking Wonderland, #1)

by Allyson Lindt

  She gripped his fingers tighter when he tried to pull away, and an irrational surge of panic built inside. “No.”

  “What’s wrong?”

  Everything, but that didn’t explain what she was doing. “I don’t want to sleep alone. I don’t mean like sex or anything. But don’t leave me in here by myself and walk out the door.” She was being stupid and childish, and she couldn’t help herself.

  “Okay.” His simple reply chased creeping shadows to the back of her mind, and the fist around her lungs loosened. “Door stays open, and I stay with you.”

  She nodded, not having a response or trusting herself to speak.

  He pointed her toward the bed. “Shoes and jeans off.”

  She hesitated. Which didn’t make any sense. He’d seen her naked.

  “So you’re comfortable.” He unbuttoned his shirt and draped it over the back of a nearby chair, took off his socks and shoes to set aside, and shed his slacks. He pulled back the comforter. “You need sleep. Come on.”

  “Okay.” She stripped down to her T-shirt and panties, and climbed into the bed.

  The moment he lay next to her, she curled up against his chest. She hated how safe this felt, but when he wrapped an arm around her, more of the shadows receded.

  He trailed his fingers through her hair, and she allowed herself to fall into the comfort. She was grateful he didn’t say anything else. It was going to be hard enough to sleep as it was.

  “REAGAN.” A MALE VOICE slammed through her dreams. She forced her eyes open, and a jumble of images assaulted her mind, overlapping the unfamiliar room. She jolted up and scooted away until her back hit the wall.

  “It’s just me.” Blake stood nearby, watching her. He was already dressed.

  She gave a nervous laugh. “I know.” She climbed from the bed and pulled her jeans on.

  “You can go back to sleep if you want, but I wanted to let you know I was leaving before the next guy comes in to replace me for the morning.”

  Reality sank back in, lowering her heart rate with it. She wanted to crawl under the covers and stay there for a hundred years. Besides the abrupt awakening, she’d slept better than in ages.

  “The room is yours for as long as you need it, but I don’t know how long it will be until I can work myself back into the rotation of being here at night. I’ll try and make sure that whoever is next door gives you space.”

  She nodded.

  He kissed her on the forehead. “I’ll see you as soon as I can.”

  After he left, and she dressed, she stood in the room for several minutes, paralyzed with doubt. She forced courage through her veins, rebuilt the walls around her, and walked into the hallway. There was a woman in a bathrobe, a few doors down, bending to fetch her paper.

  “Morning.” Reagan flashed her a friendly smile.

  The woman waved.

  She could do this. Walk out of the hotel. Take her tail with her.

  She spent most of her day like the one before—wandering town near the grocery store where she’d received the wire transfer, in hopes one of Hare’s people would approach her. If she didn’t get a nibble today, she’d send out a stronger signal tomorrow.

  When six rolled around, she was starting to think she needed to do exactly that. She returned to the same Chinese restaurant for dinner. She knew the layout of the place, so it was as close to reassuring as she could get.

  She took a seat at the crowded bar. As people left and new patrons arrived, she kept her head down, despite the urge to examine every face. If her company was looking for her, seeing them coming wouldn’t do her any good, and she didn’t know what anyone looked like anyway. Not Jabberwock’s or Blake’s people

  The seat to her right was vacated. Less than five minutes later, someone else slipped in.

  “You here alone, gorgeous?” Dormouse’s familiar voice—one that would both haunt and take point as the hero in her dreams for a long time—almost shattered Reagan’s chill.

  Reagan didn’t twitch, despite the pounding of her heart. “I’m waiting for friends, but they’re running late.” She hoped the words were seen as a warning rather than a threat.

  “Buy you a drink while you wait? I’ve been told I’m good company.”

  Reagan risked a glance. She didn’t recognize Dormouse, which was probably the point. The other woman wore large glasses that distorted her cheeks and eyes, and her hair was black and hung in loose ringlets down her back. She was dressed in a faded concert T-shirt and denim skirt.

  “A drink sounds good. Dirty martini,” Reagan said. Not knowing who was watching her or how much they could hear, she felt unsafe having a conversation out here. She needed an excuse to pull Dormouse away.

  Dormouse waved the bartender over and ordered the drinks. Even dressed down, each movement she made was smooth and refined, as if she knew the world was watching.

  Reagan wanted to learn how to do that. Another time, of course.

  “I don’t think I’ve seen you in here before.” Dormouse’s tone was casual.

  “I haven’t been in town long. Still figuring out the lay of the land and such.”

  Their drinks were served, and Reagan reached for hers. She caught the stem on her fingers and dumped the martini into her lap. “Shit.” She jumped back from her seat, shaking liquid from her hands.

  “Clumsy. That’s cute.” Dormouse grabbed a wad of napkins and dabbed up some of the excess.

  Reagan scowled. “I need to wash some of this off.”

  “I’ll help.”

  The moment they were in the bathroom, Dormouse backed her against the far wall, near the door going who-knew-where. With only three stalls in the place, a quick glance was enough to show they were alone.

  “How long do you have?” Dormouse whispered in her ear. She gripped Reagan’s hips, and pressed close. If anyone walked in on them, they’d look like they were making out.

  “I don’t know.” Reagan shook her head. “Two minutes? Thirty seconds?”

  “No one from Wonderland is supposed to approach you except me. Where have you been?”

  “I’m only telling Hare.”

  Dormouse nipped her neck hard enough it stung. “Not happening.”

  “Tell him I haven’t spilled his secret.”

  “If you mean about Hatter, the word is out, and he’s vanished.”

  If only they knew. Hare would, soon enough. Reagan couldn’t ignore the twinge of guilt at the thought of the betrayal—playing one against the other for her shot at freedom. “Not that secret. One no one else knows. One Jabberwock wants kept safe.”

  “Bullshit.” Dormouse stepped back. “Where does this door go?”

  “I’m not sure. I saw the video.” She didn’t know why she mentioned it. The damn thing haunted her every time she let it back into her head.

  Dormouse paled. “Of what?”

  “The rape. Your execution. I wanted to applaud you, especially after I was forced to watch it more times than I can count.”

  “Where have you been?” Dormouse asked again.

  This was a dangerous bluff, but Reagan had to take it, in order for things to come together her way. “I’m only telling Hare.”

  “Miss, are you all right in there?” A male voice carried through the main door.

  Dormouse shook her head and took her chances with the rear exit.

  Less than a second after she vanished, the bathroom door slammed open, and two men in suits burst in, guns drawn. A third stood to the side.

  “On the ground, now,” another man ordered. “Hands behind your head.” He nodded at the spot Dormouse had disappeared through.

  As Reagan followed their commands without question, she prayed the other woman was long gone.

  Guy number three left to find Dormouse, and one of the remaining suits cuffed Reagan, then hauled her to her feet. They were only a hair gentler than last time.

  Guy-Three returned a moment later, shaking his head. “The other one is gone. Who were you talking to?” H
e growled.

  Reagan shrugged. “My new girlfriend. Amazing kisser. I’m thinking it’s time to switch teams.” She didn’t feel any of the bravado she projected. Her pulse galloped, and she was surprised she didn’t piss herself.

  The suit who cuffed her jerked her arm, grinding against the burns hidden under long sleeves.

  She couldn’t fight her whimper. Protesting wouldn’t do her any good. Even if she screamed, and someone called the cops, and the video went viral, it didn’t mean anyone would ever see her again.

  One of the suits with a gun said, “Let’s get her out of here.” He and his buddy holstered their weapons, and Guy-Three threw his jacket over Reagan’s shoulders, covering her cuffed hands.

  They surrounded her as they escorted her from the restaurant.

  There was no blindfold this time. The drive was short and took them to a local police station. They tossed her in a room with a mirror, attached her cuffs to a bolt on the table, and walked out.

  The moment they were gone, she looked straight at the glass, and in a voice as steady as possible, said, “This is a bad way to do this.”

  Chapter Twenty

  When Blake joined her in the room, his glare shredded her from the inside out. She didn’t want this to impact him, but there was no choice. Not that it mattered, since she was planning to let he and Hare take each other on. He looked like he’d aged ten years since this morning, with the shadows under his eyes, his ruffled hair, and a day’s worth of scruff on his chin.

  “You can’t pull bullshit like this.” His voice was sharp.

  “Like what? I thought I was being given space to do this thing.” She tried to look casual and apathetic, but guilt wormed its way out.

  He growled. “No, you didn’t think that.”

  “It was worth it.”

  “Not if we haul you out of here tonight.”

  Panic surged through her, and she bit back a plea. He winced. She must not be hiding her doubt as well as she wanted.

  “I can get you what you want,” she said.

  “Jabberwock.”

  Technically, yes. “No. Dormouse and Hare.”

  He pulled out the chair across from her and dropped into it heavily. “We could have had them anytime. That’s not a tempting offer, and if it’s all you’ve got, your deal is off.”

  “But you make them vanish, and Jabberwock has lost all three generals like that.”

  “You don’t think he’s got people waiting in the wings?” Blake asked. “My money says he’s already got someone pegged to be Gryphon.”

  “I think, if the two of them go MIA after talking to me, and based on your recent departure, he won’t know where they’ve gone or why. He’ll wonder if the other two have turned on him, and who else he can’t trust. That means going on alert. Closing ranks. Making mistakes.” It wouldn’t work that way, because of who Jabberwock was, but she was running out of ways to cling to her freedom.

  He stared at her for several seconds, searching her face, mouth twisted in a scowl.

  If she didn’t think they had an audience, she’d drop the false bravado. Beg him to please understand.

  Instead, she stared back, wishing she could convey something with her eyes.

  He stood, leaned over the table, and unlocked her cuffs. “You’ve used up your strikes.”

  “That’s what you said last time.”

  “I’m not leaving your side until this is over.”

  She shook her head. “You want Hare to come to me? I can’t be seen with you.”

  “You’re about to walk out of a police station, having only been held for a few hours, after meeting with—let me guess—Dormouse?”

  So much for the clever disguise. Then again, Hatter probably knew Dormouse better than most people did. “Yes.”

  “She’s going to know you’ve got some sort of deal going on,” Blake said.

  Don’t change your mind now. Let me go. Too bad she didn’t have Force powers. “She already does, but she doesn’t have details, and she wants them. I told her I’d only share with Hare. If he’s going to approach, he won’t do it with you there.” Actually, she didn’t know that. Hare was a difficult man to second-guess. He might like the challenge of Hatter being by her side.

  Or he might blow a gasket and kill them both. She hated that she couldn’t anticipate those odds. She’d feel safer staying with Hatter until this was all over, but it was too big a risk. “I should get going.”

  He frowned and gestured at the mirror. A second later, there was a buzz, and he opened the door.

  Would she see him back in her room any time soon? She hoped so. It was a dangerous thing to wish for, but she wanted that illusion of security wherever she could find it.

  She didn’t dare interact with him in any significant way, to find out when he might be guarding her again, while other people were watching. “See you next time they bring me in?”

  “I’m going home to crash as soon as I’m done here, and I’m off for the next week. Someone else on my team can bail you out tomorrow if you do this again.”

  So much for this being her final strike. She could wait a week to see him again, as long as Hare didn’t get to her first.

  An ache pinged in her chest at the thought this might be the last time she ever talked to Blake. How long until her luck ran out with this insane plan to use her knowledge of Jabberwock’s identity to buy her freedom?

  A few minutes later, she walked out of the police station. If nothing else, it was nice to not spend a night in a cell. It was almost midnight. What was she supposed to do, to pass the time, and how antsy would her tails get if she didn’t go back to her hotel?

  Seeking out Blake felt like putting them both at too high a risk.

  Someone slammed into her, knocking her back and sending her sprawling to the cement.

  “Sorry. So sorry.” Someone offered Reagan a hand up.

  Reagan looked up, and recognition spread through her. Ten of Diamonds.

  Ten winked. “Gotta run. Sorry again,” she called over her shoulder as she jogged into the night.

  That was so suspicious. The problem was, Reagan didn’t know what she was supposed to take from the encounter. Was that a warning? A brush-off? Something else?

  She went back to her hotel. She didn’t sleep, and she spent the next day inside. It made her itch to be confined to the small room, but she told herself it was her choice.

  Around dinner, she emerged. If Hare was going to approach her, he’d wait until he thought he was safe. She had no idea if that would happen tonight.

  She skipped the Chinese restaurant tonight and found a diner instead. A place she could sit for a couple of hours and drink coffee, and not look suspicious doing so.

  By the time eight rolled around, she thought she might jitter out of her skin. Maybe she should have skipped that last cup.

  She went back to her hotel and waited. No Blake. No Hare.

  The next several days were a repeat, with the except that each passing out cranked her anxiety up another notch. She wasn’t sure how long she could hold out if this kept up.

  By day six she thought she might tear her hair out. Day seven, when someone knocked on the door joining her room to the next, she wanted to praise whatever God heard her. It didn’t matter who it was, as long as she was doing something different.

  She answered, and the moment she saw Blake, stepped aside. Relief spilled through her.

  “You’re playing a dangerous game. Do you realize that?” His tone was kind, despite the gruff greeting.

  She didn’t, at first. It took much longer to sink in than it should have. It was pretty difficult to ignore now. “Yes.”

  “I’m glad you’re all right.” He took the same seat he had the other night, undid the top button on his shirt, and loosened his tie. “You are, aren’t you?”

  “All right? I think so.” Part of her wanted the comfort of the other night, and more of her wanted to erase all her thoughts. Replace them with something more v
isceral.

  She settled for keeping her distance.

  He studied her. “I won’t bite.”

  “Not even if I beg?” That wasn’t what she meant to say.

  “Come here.”

  She crossed the room. When she drew close, he grabbed her wrist and pulled her into his lap.

  The abrupt gesture startled her.

  “Is this better?” he asked.

  It shouldn’t be. So help her, it was a really bad idea given how much she enjoyed the security and assumption of it. “Yes.”

  “Good.” He placed a finger under her chin and turned her face toward his. His kiss was a brush of feathers across her lips and ended too soon. “I missed you. That’s probably fucked up, but it is what it is.”

  “Then we’re fucked up together.” She leaned in, to rest her head against him. At this angle, ear pressed to his neck, she heard the rapid thrum of his pulse. Given everything she’d been through, this didn’t seem like a smart attachment to make. He’d lied as much as anyone. Was as much a part of this mess. Would be gone the moment she broke away.

  That didn’t mean she couldn’t enjoy the closeness tonight.

  “You scare me.” He trailed his fingers through her hair. “In so many ways. Also, I liked you better as a redhead.”

  “Blonde wasn’t my choice.” And in few days, she’d probably be a brunette. She refused to read anything into his other comment.

  His chest rose and fell beneath her, the steady rhythm soothing fractured nerves. “There’s no scenario here where you walk free. Not any that Homeland Security or Jabberwock envisions.” Blake’s voice was sad. “You’ve figured that out, haven’t you?”

  “Yes.”

  “And you can’t run while they’re watching you.”

  “No.” She wouldn’t spill her plan. It was hers. The key to getting away. Not to safety—she’d be looking over her shoulder for a long time—but to being out from under anyone else’s constant gaze and control.

  He nudged her forward so he could look her in the eye. “What are you up to, Alice?”

  The nickname didn’t bother her tonight. The affection behind it was sincere. It would be easier to do what she had in mind with him. Someone who had experience vanishing off the grid. Who had information about how both operations worked. Fuck it. That was her, trying to rationalize. She didn’t want to leave Blake behind. The thought wasn’t reasonable, but that didn’t make it easier for her to unthink it.