Talk Nerdy to Me

by Vicki Lewis Thompson

  "I've never seen her in them. I'm guessing they're reserved for special occasions." Eve lowered her voice to a murmur. "Do you think Rick's tied up as in busy, or... ?"

  "Could be both." His cousin had never been able to resist a wild woman, and Eunice definitely qualified.

  Rick appeared more quickly than Charlie had expected.

  Thank God he'd at least pulled on his slacks and wasn't wearing antennae or trailing any velvet ropes. Too bad he hadn't grabbed a shirt, though. A shirt would have spared Charlie a view of Rick's nipples adorned in concentric circles of fluorescent green paint. Charlie's glasses had chosen this moment to clear up.

  A few steps behind him came Eunice tying the belt of her black silk bathrobe. She continued to wear the antennae. Charlie wondered if she'd skipped the bathrobe on her first trip out because the tie had been in use.

  Rick barely glanced at Charlie and Eve. All his attention was focused on his assistants. "What's up?"

  Manny's gaze, which had been directed at the fluorescent circles, moved slowly upward. "It's, uh, Peterson."

  "Yeah, Peterson." Kyle continued to stare at Rick's chest. "I'm not so sure you should go painting things on yourself, Ricky. The skin absorbs whatever's in that paint, you know. Most paint is loaded with toxins. You could be poisoning yourself."

  "Kyle, forget about the damned paint," Manny said. "Rick, Peterson wanted to make sure we were still on for that deal next week."

  "Absolutely!" Rick stepped closer to his assistants. "You told him everything was in the works, right?"

  "He wanted to hear it from you," Manny said, "but it seems you weren't answering your cell."

  "Oh." Rick looked around, as if trying to locate his phone. "I might've accidentally turned it off. Want me to give him a call?"

  "I think you'd better," Kyle said. "You know how he gets."

  "I do know." Rick turned toward Charlie and Eve as if finally realizing they were in the room. "Temperamental chent. It's important to keep guys like this happy, though."

  "I guess so." Charlie found it difficult to think of Rick as a highly paid professional while he sported green rings around his nipples. But maybe green rings were all the rage back in L.A.

  Charlie could only imagine the egos that Rick had to work with in the fashion world. He supposed they expected Rick to be available twenty-four/seven. But the Rick he used to know wouldn't have been so accommodating, especially if he happened to be in the middle of a hot episode.

  People changed, though. Charlie had always thought of Rick as calling all his own shots, yet here he was coddling some prestigious client. Maybe Rick's success didn't equal freedom, after all.

  "I'll get my cell." Rick headed back toward the blue-lit bedroom.

  "Look under the electronic muscle stimulator," Eunice said.

  Charlie's eyes widened. Maybe he was misinterpreting what he'd heard. He glanced at Eve to get her reaction.

  She was staring at Eunice in alarm. "Uh, Eunice, I know Rick's a consenting adult and everything, but—"

  "Don't worry," Eunice said. "It only administers a mild shock, the kind used for muscle therapy. Gonaug, that was my chief instructor from the planet Titillium, taught me that certain kinds of electrical stimulation used at the right moment can be very exciting."

  Manny shifted his weight and looked uncomfortable, but Kyle listened in openmouthed wonder. "Yeah? You got abducted?"

  Eunice smiled. "I did. It was wonderful."

  "Damn." Kyle shook his head. "Why can't I ever have stuff like that happen to me?"

  Rick walked through the shaft of blue light spilling out of the doorway as he returned to the living room and

  Charlie shivered. This whole business was getting too weird.

  "I called Peterson," Rick said. "Everything's cool." "Good," Manny said. "Better keep that cell phone on." "Will do. Thanks, guys."

  Manny crooked a finger at Kyle. "Let's go. We promised to finish the cookies tonight."

  "I know we did." Kyle glanced longingly at Eunice. "But threesomes can be nice. I could work the stimulator for a while."

  "Kyle." Manny's expression darkened. "We're leaving. Now."

  "Right." Watching Eunice over his shoulder, Kyle followed Manny to the door. He bumped into the jamb on his way out and stumbled out into the snowy night without closing the door. Manny had to come back and do it.

  Charlie was ready to leave, too. Not only were the green circles freaking him out, the whole kinky-sex scene was giving him ideas he shouldn't be having, ideas about Eve spread-eagled on her round bed. Charlie wouldn't need anything electronic to turn that into a major experience. Seeing Eve naked on that bed would be plenty of stimulation.

  A walk through the snowy yard should cool him down some. If not, he'd head straight for her garage and the hovercraft. Once he immersed himself in that, sex would take a backseat. At least he hoped to hell it would.

  But Eve seemed in no hurry to leave. Instead she'd left her coat unzipped as she turned toward Eunice. "I had a few miscellaneous notes on my workbench and now I can't find them. You didn't happen to see them by any chance, did you?"

  "Notes?" Eunice frowned. "Gee, I don't think so. Are they important?"

  "Not especially. It's just frustrating that I can't find them."

  "I'll bet. Do you think somebody took them when I accidentally left the door unlocked? I would feel terrible if I thought—"

  "No, no, I'll bet they're around somewhere." Eve zipped her coat. "I thought I'd ask, but I'm sure they'll turn up. All set, Charlie?"

  "Sure." He glanced at his war-painted cousin. "Are you going to need a ride home?"

  Eunice linked her arm through Rick's as she gazed up at him. "No, he won't, will you, Earthman?"

  Rick dropped into his John Wayne imitation. "Guess not, my little planetary pilgrim."

  Charlie had to get out of there. If sex was catching, he was definitely coming down with one hell of a case.

  Chapter Nine

  Rick allowed Eunice to lead him back to the blue-lit bedroom. His cock was ready for the next alien adventure she'd promised, but his mind was still circling around the subject of those notes. He'd meant to find a way to put them back on the workbench without anybody seeing. But then Eunice had poured him a glass of wine and hovered over him, cleavage at the ready, and he'd lost track of his plan.

  Amazing about that dress of hers, how a guy could just reach in and flip her tits right out into the fresh air. She'd promised to keep watch while he nipple-noshed in Eve's kitchen, but luckily nobody had interrupted the activities. He'd started feeling reckless after that and had let Eunice give him a blow job while he sat on one of Eve's kitchen chairs staring at the stainless steel fuel converter.

  Needless to say, the notes had stayed folded and forgotten in the back pocket of his pants. At least Eve thought she'd misplaced them. Maybe he never had to put them back, which would make his life a hell of a lot easier.

  But there was another thing he needed to find out. It sounded like Eunice might have a key to Eve's house. If so, that was some news he could use. Peterson had graphically reminded him of what would happen if he didn't come up with the money by next week's deadline. Peterson's voice had been soft and gentle as he'd described the excruciating way Rick would die.

  "Strip down for the next phase of Project Penis, Earth-man." Eunice dropped her black silk robe in a puddle at her feet.

  "You've got it, Space Girl." Rick was out of his pants faster than you could say galactic orgy. "By the way, what was that Eve was saying about notes?"

  "I think I accidentally left her door open. Lie down on the rubber antigravity mat. I'm going to blindfold you."

  His heart pounded with eagerness as he stretched out on the spongy surface. Sex like this could almost make him forget Peterson. "How would you leave her door open?"

  "She gave me a key so I could take delivery of FedEx packages when she wasn't home." Eunice's generous tits bobbed above him. Then she laid a silk scarf across his eyes. "
Lift your head."

  He did, and she tightened the blindfold. Not being able to see made his heart race even faster. That, and knowing Eunice had a key he could quietly borrow. She'd dropped her keys in a bowl by the front door when they'd first come in the house. He'd bet Eve's key was in that bowl, too.

  "And now, Earthman, it's space-slime time."

  "Space slime?" It sounded gooey and wonderful, something to drive the thought of Peterson right out of his head.

  "A special formula created by Gounag, himself." Somewhere in the darkness, a jar opened. "Gounag was well hung, much like yourself. He instructed me in the proper application of space slime."

  Rick's breathing grew shallow. With Eunice, anything was possible. "Good," he said. "That's good."

  "First, we must shave the testicles."

  "What?" Rick started to sit up, but she pushed him back down.

  "Quiet. Must I bind you again?"

  He gasped for breath. "I don't think I go for the idea of a razor near my balls. I'll bet Gonaug didn't let anybody shave his boys, either."

  "Of course he did." Her warm breath tickled his ear. Then she ran her tongue inside, a move that was guaranteed to drive him crazy. "Earthman," she murmured, "do you think I would ever damage something that can give me such incredible pleasure?"

  "Oh." All the resistance went out of him. "Guess if it's good enough for Gonaug, it's good enough for me."

  "Then lie very still."

  That turned out to be extremely difficult. When the shaving cream hit, he yelped, and as she began stroking him with the razor, he groaned and resisted the urge to come. Coming could result in serious injury.

  At last she was finished. "Now for the space slime. Enjoy."

  "Ahhhh!" He trembled as she smeared the creamy, tingling stuff all over his balls. They tightened in response, and he fought back his climax, because he had a feeling she would ... yes, she did. Up and down his rigid cock with the space slime. Mind-blowing. Incredible. His orgasm wouldn't be held back any longer.

  But just before he came, he reminded himself not to forget... not to forget... what? Oh, yeah. The key.

  On the way back to her house, Eve considered Eunice's reaction to her question about the notes. "I don't think Eunice took anything."

  "Some people are really good liars," Charlie said.

  "I know. I just don't believe Eunice is one of them."

  "So you think she was abducted by Gounag from Titillium?"

  "No." Eve glanced up and discovered the clouds had drifted away, leaving the sky brilliant with stars. She believed there were other life-forms out there, but she didn't think Eunice had met any.

  "Aha!" Charlie sounded triumphant. "So if she'd he about that—"

  "But don't you see? She tells this outrageous story, but then she gives herself away with all the cheesy effects."

  Charlie glanced at her. "So you're saying she might be a liar, but she's not very good at it?"

  "That's my point."

  "But what if that whole alien abduction thing is designed to disarm people so they won't take her seriously? What if she's deliberately outrageous to hide her crafty side?"

  Eve laughed and shook her head. "Poor Eunice. She can't catch a break with you, can she?"

  "She had motive and opportunity. She was the only one in the vicinity with a key. That's all I'm saying."

  "If someone timed it right, they wouldn't have needed a key." Now that Eve was convinced Eunice hadn't stolen the notes, she had to accept that she'd misplaced them or that someone had taken advantage of Eunice's slipup. "When I got home tonight the door was unlocked. I think Eunice forgot to lock it after she let the FedEx man drop off the package."

  Charlie groaned. "Great. How long do you think it stayed open?"

  "Don't know. Could have been as much as twenty-four hours. We could check the FedEx slip or ask Eunice." Stepping up on her front porch, she fished her keys out of her pocket. She loved this porch, and come spring she intended to put wicker furniture out here. She'd never had her own porch.

  I guess it doesn't matter how long it was," Charlie said. "But that sure widens the list of suspects."

  Eve unlocked her door. Maybe in the spring she'd paint the door and the shutters purple. "I wish you wouldn't keep using that word. It seems so—"

  "Accurate?"

  "Sleazy." She walked into her cozy little house.

  Charlie followed her, closing the door and flipping the dead bolt. "You don't want to admit that Middlesex harbors any thieves, do you?"

  "No, I don't." But she'd already lost interest in the discussion the minute she heard the dead bolt slip into place. Charlie had just locked them in. That meant Rick and Eunice couldn't come over unannounced. They probably wouldn't come over at all, but if they should for some reason, they'd have to ring the doorbell.

  The click of the dead bolt signaled that she and Charlie were truly alone, with a locked door between them and the world. She wondered if he'd sensed the change in atmosphere, or if she was the only one on full alert. Her fogged glasses kept her from assessing his expression as she took off her coat and boots.

  "We haven't made any progress on the hovercraft," Charlie said.

  Did his voice sound a wee bit husky? Eve thought it might. "No, we haven't."

  "We should at least get your new motor mounted on a stable part of the workbench."

  That sounded incredibly sensual, somehow. "As a bare minimum. Before we quit for the night, that is." As her glasses cleared, she glanced over at him. He seemed to be breathing a little faster than their walk from Eunice's demanded. Beneath the green plaid of his shirt, his chest expanded as he drew in air. She remembered the softness of that flannel and the insistent pressure of his mouth. He'd tasted wonderful.

  "You'd like to test another batch of fuel, wouldn't you?" His glance grew warmer by the second.

  "That would be great." She noticed that Charlie smelled terrific, like a walk through the woods on a summer's day.

  He cleared his throat. "I'd love to check out the undercarriage before we get into the fuel thing."

  "Be my guest." His comment shouldn't have been suggestive, but Eve's personal undercarriage didn't seem to understand that. It was responding as if Charlie had begun an elaborate seduction routine.

  "I'm fascinated by your use of magnets," he said. "And you know me. I'll have to look at every inch of your wiring."

  "Of course." He could do whatever he wanted with her wiring. She had some hot spots that needed attention right away.

  "If I'm going to help you, I need to be thoroughly acquainted with everything."

  "Definitely." If a man could virtually undress a woman with his gaze, then Charlie was doing that now. She tingled under the assault of those penetrating brown eyes. "You're welcome to go over every tiny little part." Repeatedly. Until they were both wild with lust. "Ready to get started?"

  He took a step in her direction. "I'm not going to kiss you again, Eve."

  "I never said you were." Her chest tightened in anticipation.

  "I'm here to work on the hovercraft." He moved closer. "I understand that."

  "But every time I think about you building that thing all by yourself..."

  She gazed up into eyes that held the special kind of softness that made her toes curl. And here she'd been told the way to a man's heart was through his stomach. "I'm glad you like my invention."

  His voice grew rough with emotion. "I'm crazy about your invention."

  She wanted him so much she could hardly think, which explained her next idiotic statement. "Charlie, I wonder if we should consider one little sexual episode, just for the heck of it?" The minute she'd made the suggestion she wanted it back.

  Left to his own devices, he might have kissed her again, and who knows how that might have turned out? But she'd had to push the issue, and now he was struggling to bring himself under control again.

  Eventually he seemed to succeed. Backing up, he took a deep breath. "No sexual episodes."
<
br />   "I didn't think so." She looked away. "I shouldn't have mentioned it. My bad."

  "You were only mentioning what I was thinking."

  She met his gaze. "That makes me feel better."

  "I don't want you to be upset in the first place." He spread his arms and gazed up at the ceiling. "Why does this have to happen now?"

  "What?"

  "You!"

  "What about me?"

  "Okay, maybe I'm wrong in my conclusions. Say we got involved with each other. What would you be looking to get out of that?"

  She answered as honestly as she could. "I'm still trying to figure it out, Charlie." Now that it seemed they wouldn't kiss, after all, she had a yearning to get to work to let off some steam. "Let's talk in the garage." "Fair enough."

  "We can mount the engine on the workbench, like you said." And that still sounded sexual, but she'd try to ignore her urges in that direction. Never let it be said that she'd forced herself on a guy.

  Once they got out to the garage, Charlie helped Eve mount the engine on the workbench, all the while aware of her scent, her warm body moving around, her breathing, which seemed to become quicker whenever they accidentally touched. Somehow he managed to complete the job without grabbing her.

  After that he made himself eat pizza and drink Coke because it gave him something to do with his mouth other than kissing Eve. She told him her theories for modifying her fuel, and he thought they sounded reasonable. At least the parts he managed to pay attention to sounded reasonable. Mostly he kept watching her mouth and fantasizing about kissing her.

  A project like this should have the drawing power to keep his thoughts away from having sex with Eve. It didn't. He couldn't concentrate on the hovercraft without thinking about getting horizontal with its inventor.

  "Do you want to put that additive in the fuel and give it a try?" he asked.

  "Not yet. Why don't you check out whatever you want to on the hovercraft. You haven't had a chance to go over it thoroughly, the way I'm sure you want to."

  He wondered if she had any idea what he wanted. Maybe. She kept giving him little glances, glances that sizzled wherever they landed and made him long to unfasten those overalls she was wearing.