She laughs again, totally unaware of the torture I feel right now. Nobody ever knows though. I hide well these days. “Yeah, I know. Carrie, Cass, and my other sister-in-law, Krissy, are my first sign ups for their little girls.”
She looks down at my hands, how I fidget, then looks to me bouncing on my heels. “You cold?” It isn’t cold out, not that cold anyway. No, this is nerves at the idle chit chat of little girls with hopeful futures.
“No. Anxious to finish you up. Can’t wait to see it when its finished,” I lie. I know this shit will be epic, but luckily she buys my excuse.
“I need to mentally prepare myself.” She takes a deep breath as we walk to the door and I can’t help but laugh.
“It’s almost over.”
“You probably think I’m a pussy, huh?” She asks as we enter my booth, and she hands me my jacket before laying down, the wrap still on the tat.
I wash my hands and grab new gloves. “Not at all. I have watched grown men cry like babies. Ribs are a bitch. I cried when mine were done, both sides.”
“You didn’t?”
“I did. Ask Noah and Chad.”
She reaches her hand over to my shirt trying to lift it when I stop her. “What? I’m curious.”
“Well, show me your chest and I will show mine,” I say, never intending to follow through on that.
“I am. Hi! Topless.”
I laugh and scoot close pulling my glasses off my head, and begin to slowly remove the wrap. I see her wince from the pain and hate that she hurts.
“I know, Pet. Sorry, love,” I say softly, and spray her with the antiseptic spray then blow softly knowing this shit burns.
“I’m ok,” she says. Her throaty words threaten my control once again.
I vow to finish this and stop the small talk so she can be done with the pain. I focus, every line a perfect replica of the last and after about an hour, I am content with the piece.
“All done,” I say, and roll back grabbing the salve and applying it, admiring the piece. Pride fills in my chest knowing it is on Mya.
I sit back, phone in hand ready to take a picture as I do with all my clients, but her face is priceless when she sees the work. I snap a few pics of her as she turns looking from different angles before looking at me with tears in her eyes. “Sully…I’m speechless. It’s so perfect.”
“Pet, I have never seen anything more perfect.” I sound reverent, not uncommon when placing a powerful tattoo on someone, but this one has a power that draws me in like nothing ever has. This is us, even if for one night, it’s the crow and the butterfly.
She hears my words, each one, and how they say too much. She walks towards me slowly with pure seduction with every step.
“Mya….don’t.” My tone proves my words mean nothing and she doesn’t stop.
“Why? How can you pretend not to feel it, deny it, and then do something like this, something real and personal? You leave your mark, then deny me? It’s not fair that I feel this alone, Sully.”
I have no choice but to be cold and look away. I hate myself for it, but I refuse to spend my life anything, but alone. “Stop acting like all the vapid bitches that come in here looking to gain status.” I turn and grab my jacket and keys. “It’s beneath you, Pet, and so am I. Get used to that, for both our sakes.”
I don’t wait for her argument, knowing damn well she is cuing one up. She should hate me. She needs to hate me or she will be destroyed by me.
Chapter three
If you want love, you gon’ have to go through the pain
If you want love, you gon’ have to learn how to change
If you want trust, you gon’ have to give some away
If you want love, if you want love
Mya
“What are you doing here?” Cal asks me. I roll my eyes, and swoop Rylie from his arms and make my way through their house.
“I need advice. I wanted to chat with Jen. She said she was on her way from work,” I say, and sit beside Axe, kissing his head and signing hello.
“Advice on what?” He asks me, and I look at him annoyed.
“Girl stuff, Mr. Nosey.” I am terrified of him ever finding out my feelings for Sully. He has a history of pissing my brother off. Most of it is Cal being a possessive jealous freak when he was trying to date Jen, but Sully made the mistake of letting Tayla use him forever ago to make Cal crazy with jealousy. It worked and backfired, because now they have this weird friendship that confuses me. Like, okay be loyal to each other, but don’t in the same thought, accuse them of being sketchy.
He stands and follows me to the kitchen, hot on my heels and curious. “Well, your call, brat. She will tell me if you don’t.”
“Ugh, the arrogance is so annoying, Cal,” I say, and open the fridge for a Diet Coke. “Besides,” I pop the top of the can and take a drink as he smirks at me all knowing. “She wouldn’t break a confidence regardless of your vows versus girl code.”
He walks over to take Rylie from me and sets her in the high chair with some Cheerios before looking at me with a cocky laugh. “Wanna bet?”
I roll my eyes. “There are a number of things you don’t know, so be as arrogant as you want.” I fold my arms and begin a stare off between us.
“Want me to elaborate?”
I feel my stomach tighten, hoping like hell Jen has kept my secrets from my big brother. “Go for it.” I call his bluff having faith in my sister-in-law.
“I know that six months ago, right before Rylie was born, you made out big time with Sam in DC when Raleigh won the humanitarian award.”
I slam my Diet Coke on the table in complete shock. Yes, technically it is a very watered-down version of what really happened, but how fucking dare she. “What the actual hell?” I feel betrayed, but above that is humiliation, knowing my brother knows I fooled around with his friend. A friend twelve years my senior.
He just laughs at me like the asshole he is. I have two big brothers, and both Jace and Cal, love nothing more than teasing and torturing me. “Don’t trip out, Mya. I wasn’t the happiest to learn he was trying to defile my kid sister.”
“Well, he could have done whatever he wanted to me, and there isn’t a damn thing you could have said or done about it. I am an adult and you should stay out of it.”
“Hold up. Are you actually thinking that you could date him?” He stands, shakes his head no, and leans against the counter in front of me. “He isn’t the guy for you, Mya. If that’s what you came to talk to Jen about, then I will be the one to shatter those dreams. Stay away from Sam.”
He didn’t sound mad, but he wasn’t happy either. He acted like he knew why I needed to stay away. The great thing about opinions is they are nothing but opinions. Not written in stone with warning labels.
“Look, I get that he let Tay use him and it affected whatever trust you had in him…”
“That has nothing to do with it. If I thought for two seconds he was a shit guy, no way would my wife work side by side with him.”
“So, why can’t I like him? I mean, if I liked him, which I don’t, why would it be so bad?”
“Cut the shit, Mya. I know you have a little crush on the scariest looking mother fucker in Gig Harbor, but he isn’t what you think. He isn’t a bad boy or some project you can fix. Sam has a hell of a business mind. He made a name for himself. He may look like the poster boy for bad boys, but he is one of the nicest guys I have ever met.” It bothered me hearing him lecture me like he thought my intentions were so flippant. He seemed almost protective of him and that only fueled me more.
“He’s so sweet? Really? Because he was rude as hell when he brushed me off. I got the warning from him. His pain could rival Noah’s’.”
The look of disappointment filled out his features and I wondered what he knew.
“And FYI, nobody’s pain rivals Noah and Carrie,” I say it with a finality I’m not sure I believe.
“Mya…” His voice becomes all sympathetic and sweet like he needs t
o baby me. Normally, I love being dotted on my brothers and their friends. I was sheltered and taken up for at every turn my whole life, but right now I want to be taken seriously, not coddled.
“Stop, Cal. I am not a child.”
“I know it, but what Sam has been through is more than anyone person should bare. Like he was dealt the worst cards, then by some cosmic fuck up, they were delivered in the worst manner. His story isn’t ever going to have a happy ending.” I know he is serious as he says this. He doesn’t want me to get hurt, but even more peculiar, he wants to protect Sully too.
“I must have hit my head in the shower this morning because I am actually contemplating confiding in you.”
“Look. If it was five years ago, I doubt I would be as easy going, but I would always be here for you, Mya. I just handle shit better now.” He was right too. Jen was the person he hurt the most and the one person who made him the best of the best. He changed his heart for her and was by far a better man for it.
“So, we went back to his room that night. Everything was hot and heavy, and he went down on me-”
“Christ, Mya. Come on!” He says disgusted and covers Rylie’s ears like she would have a clue what I just said. I did get joy from watching him cringe. Twenty-one years to freak him out and I nailed it.
“Cal, you can’t ask me to come to you then get pissed.” I don’t give him the option of changing his mind and continue. “He learned quickly that I am still a virgin and flipped out on me.”
“There was no deflowering then?” He asks, a queasy look on his face and I love the power from creeping him out.
“No, but I had hopes damn it!”
I watch him grab his phone and start texting rapidly, and I fear he is yelling at Sully, so I grab his phone. “Don’t text him you jerk!”
He yanks his phone back and rolls his eyes. “I wasn’t you lunatic. I was telling Jen she needed to get home. I have no desire to talk to Sam about almost fucking you.”
I laugh at his demeanor and sip more from my drink. “He was rude though. Very cold about it.”
“How so?” He asks, his posture firmer, his eyes lit with anger in my defense. Big brothers are so awesome for that.
“He told me to leave, to get out. He said, and I am paraphrasing here, ‘I am thirty-three with a sadness in me to rival what Noah went through. I don’t want to do this because to me it is just sex and will only ever be sex. I will not fall in love with you, marry you or be with you. You are twenty-one and deserve to be some lucky guys favorite color.’”
Cal lets a whistle out and shakes his head, a sad look on his face where anger had been moments before. “That favorite color shit has a purpose. I don’t know, Mya. Honestly, I agree with him. You need to be someone’s first everything. There is a mess around Sam you can’t understand.”
“Well, stop being all loyal and shit, and dish!”
“Not happening. If it was something unlike what it is, I would, but what he carries, what he lives with, that’s his business, and not even for Jen would I share it.” He looks to Rylie with a sad smile. “If I were in his shoes, I would kill to keep my shit private.”
Sully
Mya walks in the shop with Rylie in her arms and holding Axes hand. Axe charges Noah first, signing rapidly his hello. “What’s shakin’, dude?” Noah signs and Axe is a flurry of hand gestures telling him his day’s events.
Axe was born with degenerative hearing loss and at six, he had only twenty percent of active hearing, so we all have done our best to learn ASL so we can communicate.
“Hey, Mya,” I say, trying not to look like a pubescent teenage boy with a boner at seeing her. I recall how she tastes with absolute clarity and wish I could turn off my desire for her.
“Hey, Sully. Jen in?” She asks and looks at Raleigh with a smile as he pokes Rylie’s belly.
“No. She’s off today.”
“And you know that,” Raleigh adds, outing her for coming by most likely to see me.
She looks like she might choke Raleigh and I wish her luck in succeeding though I know she won’t. “No, actually I didn’t. I assumed she had to work today when she asked me to watch the misfits. Cal just called me and asked me to meet her here to grab the kids.”
“He had his specialist appointment today for his hand and she drove him,” Noah offers. Now, we all look to him for answers on the report on Cal’s hand. Cal was in a fight defending Jen a little over a year ago and his hand was shattered in the process. The band was relying on his full recovery before they moved on with the new album release.
“He’s good, cleared,” he says, reading the text from Cal that we all just received.
Noah takes Rylie from Mya and signs for Axe to follow him. I know he is taking them to the roof where Axe likes to look out over the harbor every time they are here. Raleigh watches both Mya and I with intensity until finally the phone rings distracting him.
I look at Mya and for whatever reason, I can’t stop myself from flirting with her. “So, for once you aren’t here to stalk me?” I say with a wink. I won’t deny I look forward to her dropping in all the time to see Jen. She eyes my ass, my arms, and my tats. She watches me like I’m her next meal. We usually end up flirting in private though. Based on Raleigh’s nosey stare down earlier, I fear we haven’t been as discreet as I had hoped.
“Don’t feel bad, lover. I always have a motive,” she says, and blows me a kiss mockingly.
I can’t help but laugh. “I bet you do, Pet.”
She follows me to my booth and plops her fine petite ass down on my tattoo bed. “So, what’s the motive today?” I ask, as I shuffle through my transfer paper looking for my clients drawing. I could have a good twenty minutes to fuck her if I didn’t have a damn conscience.
“Well, I wanted to see what you were doing today?”
Now, this took me by surprise and images of fucking her senseless invade at the mere thought of spending time with Mya outside of PIT, or a gathering with everyone. “I’m about to tattoo.”
I try not to show interest. God knows I am interested, but I am a master at hiding who I am, what I feel… I hide and blend well.
“I meant after, duh.” That smart ass ‘duh’ she throws in, I swear to fuck, is to insight me. She is a smart ass and sassy as hell. I fucking love it.
“I am going with Noah to the cemetery.” Let her assume it’s for him to see Candey. I know that this group is one thing; loyal. Even though Mya is Cal’s little sister, I know that Kace is sacred between us all and not mentioned. I know she has no idea of the truth.
“Candey?” She asks, a look of confusion on her face. “Like, he just got married. Seems odd to go see the ghost of loves past so soon.”
Knowing she is right and that we all would agree with that, I offer a small nugget of truth. “No. Same cemetery, different reason.”
Hoping she would have some etiquette and not ask more, I wait. No such luck though. “Everyone okay?”
Her tone isn’t as flirty or sassy as usual, nor is she snooping. It is genuine concern for everyone she loves, in hopes they are okay. She has no clue that the one man she wants the most is the furthest from ok.
“Someone from our past. Nothing to worry about,” I say, and place my hand on her shoulder, fuck, wanting to hug her and reassure her that her world is intact. Unlike mine.
Her manicured hand sits atop mine, her thumb stroking my fingers. “I’m sorry for your loss.”
She turned when she spoke. Her breath minty and hot against my hand. Something so simple turns my dick to iron and I swear I could pound nails through concrete with it right now.
“Sully…” she whispers. A sultry sound that hits every nerve.
“Yeah?” I respond. My voice full of gravel.
“You and I both know it has become my mission to not let you forget that night. We both know I watch your every move when I am near you…” Her fingers start dancing up my arm in a slow crawl. “So, with all due respect, adjust that erection before I co
mpletely relieve you from the burden of it.”
I don’t know what snapped in me, but something did. Maybe it was the dangerous game the flirting was. Maybe it was just her, and my desire for her, but I snapped. “Christ, Mya…” I took her by the neck with my hand and slanted my mouth over hers. The velvet touch of her tongue ripped me in two. With her, I was Sully, not Sam. Sam was the man in mourning that sheltered everything from touching him that wanted her in his life. Sully was the dominant one that wanted to break her in half with his dick and teach her a lesson in teasing a grown man. As egos went, mine was out of control now.
I was done playing games. I was taking her, and everything good left inside of me that was stopping this train wreck, could go to hell. I needed inside of her. I needed to shred her virginity and my conscience was on mute.
She kissed me back with everything I gave. Her hands went under my shirt. My hands did the same, slipping under the hem of her shirt feeling skin, until I was at the lace covered peaks of her breasts, when the earth fell out from underneath me.
“Mya?” Cal’s voice was the equivalent to a bucket of ice water. I tore my mouth from hers and squeezed my fists until they were white. I wanted to roar from both undeniable need and the weakness inside that forced me to satiate the hunger for her mouth.
“Yeah?” She yells to him with a snide smile at me. “Calm down big guy, he’s none the wiser.”
She stepped from my booth like I wasn’t about to fuck her senseless. “Hey. Noah took the kids to look off the roof,” she says, not bothering to hide she was in my booth. If it was anyone else, I wouldn’t give a shit what they thought. For once, I was trying to be fucking honorable and do right by her, Cal and Jen.. fuck, by everyone.
I took a seat at the table as the chatting between them faded. I needed to focus. Fuck, she was getting under my skin. I have a client coming in within ten minutes and I was just about ready to take her virginity in an open studio, quickly and probably painfully.
Furious with myself, I slam my hand into the wall in front of me, tearing one of my first line drawings, which only pissed me off more.
5 Words: Paradox Ink Trilogy Page 4