by Mark Roeder
“You mind driving us a little out of town?” I asked. “It will make it harder for them to track us down.”
“Of course I don’t mind stupid,” said Brad. “What are best friends for?”
“I just don’t want you getting in a lot of trouble.”
“Hey, what are they gonna do to me? They can’t arrest me for helping you. It’s not like you’re a convict or something.”
We pulled up to the cemetery. I jumped out and ran past the gates.
“Casper!” I said in a loud whisper. “Casper!” There was no answer and I grew suddenly afraid.
I ran around the cemetery calling his name, but I couldn’t find him. He wasn’t there. I knew something was wrong.
I ran back to the car and got in.
“He’s not here,” I said. “Take me to Casper’s house.” Without question, Brad turned the car around. We were taking quite a chance, every moment counted, but I wasn’t leaving without Casper.
* * * I’d never been inside Casper’s home; I’d only dropped him off there. As soon as the car stopped, I jumped out and ran to the house. It looked so lonely and forlorn. I rushed to the front door. I hoped Casper was there. If he wasn’t, I didn’t know where I’d find him. I was just getting ready to knock when I heard Casper scream from somewhere in the house. “Let me go! Get off me!”
Without thinking, I charged into the house. I followed the sounds of a scuffle to what I guessed was Casper’s room. I burst through the door. Casper was lying across the bed. His clothes were torn. His brother was holding him down.
I launched myself at Jason and knocked him to the floor. We came up swinging. I was going to kill that fucking bastard. He’d hurt Casper for the last time. I punched him in the face as hard as I could. I didn’t care if I killed him. He deserved to die.
Jason was tough. He took the pummeling I gave him and came right back at me. He swung his fist full force at my stomach. I tightened my abdominal muscles, but it still hurt like hell. I flew at Jason, catching him around the waist, sending us both crashing to the floor. I managed a quick jab to the gut before he got me in the face. My head snapped back. I don’t think I’d ever been hit that hard before. Jason slammed me down before I had a chance to recover and pressed his knees painfully into my chest. He slugged me in the face over and over until I managed to punch him in the throat and get him off.
I came up swinging. It was all a blur after that. We slugged each other as hard as we could manage, fighting through the pain. All I really wanted to do was drop to the floor and moan and writhe in agony, but as long as I could stand, I was determined to keep fighting. This wasn’t just any fight. It wasn’t about something stupid. I was fighting to protect Casper. I’d die for him.
I was out of shape from all that had been done to me in the hospital and I took quite a beating. I gave better than I took, however. I was enraged. Jason had hurt Casper. There was no forgiving that.
Jason was no pansy, but he couldn’t take the beating I was giving him. He was doing a lot of damage, but I was fucking him up good. I landed a good, solid punch to his jaw that sent him sailing back into the closet. The door collapsed under his weight. For a moment, I thought I’d killed him.
Casper ran to me, running his hands all over my body, making sure I was all right. I wasn’t really, but it wasn’t like I was going to die, it wasn’t like I had any broken bones or anything. I wasn’t so sure about Jason, he was barely moving.
“I’m okay, Casper.” I looked down at him and the worried expression on his face. I hugged him close to me. “I love you. It’s going to be okay now.”
I let my guard down. It was a mistake. I caught movement behind Casper. I jerked my head up. Jason was just getting to his feet; he was pointing a doublebarreled shotgun right at Casper.
“I told you you’d pay, little brother,” he snarled. I’d never seen anyone look so menacing before, not only menacing—insane. I stared at Jason in horror.
Almost without thinking, I shoved Casper behind me, although I didn’t know how much good that would do. I hoped that Casper would bolt for the door when Jason shot me. At least then he’d have a chance to get away. I knew what I was going to do. Jason only had two shots. When he fired, I’d push myself forward and grab the gun if I could. Maybe Jason would use his second shell out of fear. He only had two shots before he had to reload. Maybe he’d even blast me with both barrels at once. At least Casper would have a fighting chance to escape.
I knew even as I thought it, however, that it was a plan doomed to failure. The first blast would probably blow me off my feet. There would be no surging forward. I’d be dead. There was nothing else for it, so I’d do whatever I could manage.
“You’re pretty brave for a faggot. Not that it’ll help you much. Not so tough now are you? Those muscles aren’t much good against this,” he said, patting his gun. “This is gonna be a pleasure.”
Casper tried to force his way in front of me. I knew what he was trying to do, but I couldn’t allow it. I couldn’t let him die for me. Even if I somehow managed to survive, I knew I could never live my life without him. I pushed him back. At the same moment a deafening shot assaulted my ears, sounding like a stick of dynamite had just gone off. I jerked my hands to my chest and looked down, but there was nothing to see. I looked up as quick as lightning and saw Jason falling to the floor, even as his shotgun blasted the air like a cannon. Jason hit the floor hard. Even as he did so, there was a loud thump in the doorway. I looked over to see an older man laying there, his stomach red with blood.
“Dad! Dad!” yelled Casper and ran to him.
I walked to Jason. There was a lot of blood. The sight of it made me sick. I expected him to be dead, but I could hear him breathing and see his chest rise and fall. He’d been hit in the shoulder.
Brad, Stacey, and Chad came running in.
“Oh my God!” said Stacey.
I took a shirt, waded it up, and pushed against Jason’s shoulder. I took the sheet from the bed and tied it around his shoulder to help stop the bleeding. I wasn’t quite sure why I was helping him, but I couldn’t just let him lay there and die, even if he did deserve it.
I turned to Casper. He was holding his dad’s head in his lap, crying. His dad was speaking to him, so quietly I could barely hear.
“I was never a good dad.” he croaked out. “I’m sorry…no time to…you were a good son. I love...” His head fell over in Casper’s lap and he was gone.
Casper looked up at me, his eyes filled with tears. He gently let his father’s head slip to the floor, then ran to me and clasped me about the waist, crying. I held him tight.
“We’ve got to go,” said Brad desperately. I looked at Jason lying on the floor, then back at Brad. I nodded my head. I knew he was right.
I led Casper out of his old home. We got in the car, and sped away, only to stop after a couple of blocks. Stacey hopped out and called an ambulance for Jason, and then we took off again. We’d done as much for Casper’s brother as we could. It was way more than he deserved.
I held Casper as he cried. I couldn’t imagine what he was going through. He’d seen his own brother and father shoot each other before his eyes. He’d lost his dad. Maybe his father wasn’t a very good one, but he was still his dad. Casper’s thin body was racked with sobs.
“Here.” Brad handed a backpack to me as he drove. “I put some clothes and stuff in here for you. There are two more backpacks in the trunk, for Casper and Chad. All of them have clothes and stuff in them I thought you’d need.”
Brad pulled his wallet out of his back pocket and handed it to Stacey. She pulled out a wad of bills and handed them to us.
“That’s all the money I could get,” said Brad. “I emptied my checking account and cleaned out my room. It isn’t a lot, but it will help.”
“I can’t take your money, Brad.”
“You’re going to need it. Besides, it’s a loan. You can pay me back when you get rich some day.” He smiled.
�
�Thanks,” I said.
“Just make sure I see you again. Otherwise I’ll have to kick your ass.”
“You’ll see me again,” I said.
“You’re the best friend I ever had, Brendan. I don’t want to lose you.”
“You won’t,” I said. “I’ll write. I’ll keep in touch. Wherever we go, I’ll let you know. Someday you can come and visit us. When I’m eighteen, I can come back and visit you. That’s only a few months away. My father can’t do shit after I’m eighteen, but until then, I’ve got to hide.”
Brad’s eyes met mine in the mirror, they were filled with tears. Mine were too. He was my best friend and I’d miss him. I told myself it was only temporary. I’d see him again.
“I made you guys cookies and brownies,” said Stacey. “There’s a big bag in the trunk. I went grocery shopping. I got you lots of stuff that you can carry with you.”
“Thanks, Stacey,” I said.
Casper and I were lucky. We had good friends.
We drove through the night, talking, trying to say everything that needed said before we were out of time. Casper was quiet. I could only imagine what was going through his head. The sight of his brother and father laying there was burned into my mind. It had to be ten times worse for him. I wondered if the paramedics got to his brother in time. I knew there was no saving his dad. He was already dead when we left. I hugged Casper close to me and he smiled weakly.
Before we knew it, the time had come to part. Brad pulled off at a little roadside park and we got out.
“You keep in touch with me or I’ll track you down and whoop your ass,” said Brad. The tears in his eyes shined in the moonlight.
“Like you’d have a chance against me,” I laughed softly. “Don’t worry Brad, we’ll always be friends and I’ll always let you know where I am. We’ll be together again, just you wait and see.” Brad hugged me tightly, and then he hugged Casper.
“You take care of him okay, Casper? You know he’s just a big dumb jock. You’re the one with the brains.” Casper smiled despite all that had happened.
“We always take care of each other,” said Casper, gazing at me with love in his eyes.
“I know we just met,” said Brad to Chad, “but I consider you my friend. You ever need anything, you come to me.”
“Thanks, dude,” said Chad shyly.
“Wear your sweatshirt,” said Stacey as she pulled one from Casper’s backpack and slipped it over his head. “It’s going to get cold out tonight and I don’t want you catching anything.”
“Sure, Mom,” he said. I smiled that he was able to joke in that most serious of times.
“I love you, Casper,” said Stacey and hugged him tight. “You keep in touch with me too. I’ll miss you.”
“I love you too, Stacey,” he said, hugging her back as tight as he could.
“We have to go,” said Brad, looking at his watch. “Take care of yourselves and write or call as soon as you get the chance.”
“We will,” I said.
“Bye,” said everyone.
Casper, Chad, and I watched as Brad and Stacey pulled away and the taillights of the car faded into the distance. I felt as if my old life were disappearing before my very eyes.
I divided up the money Brad had given me between us. There was a little over $100 for each of us. I wished that I could have gotten to my own money, even if it was just what I kept in my room. I could’ve put my hands on a whole lot more and I knew we’d need it. That just wasn’t possible. There was no way I could go back home.
I put my backpack on my shoulders and Casper and Chad slipped on theirs as well.
“You ready?” I asked Casper.
“I’m ready.”
“You know you don’t have to come.”
“I know, but I want to. I couldn’t live without you.”
“I’m glad you feel that way,” I said, “because I couldn’t make it without you.” I hugged Casper tightly and kissed him.
“Where are we going to go?” asked Casper.
“I don’t know. We’ll just have to figure that one out. It doesn’t really matter where we go, however, because we’ll always be together. As long as we’re together, we’ll be fine.” I smiled at Casper and he smiled back.
“Then we’ll always be fine,” said Casper. He grasped my hand in his and smiled at me.
“I wish I had a boyfriend,” said Chad.
“Maybe we’ll find you one on the road,” I said.
“About that,” said Chad. “I think it’s best if we don’t travel together. They’ll be looking for us you know. We’re less likely to get spotted if we split up, and there will be two trails to follow. They won’t be able to catch us both.”
I was saddened by Chad’s words, but I knew he was right. The time had already come and gone for the midnight bed check and the center surely knew we’d escaped. They’d be looking for us soon. I never wanted to go back there. I’d rather die. Splitting up was our best shot at making it.
“Stay with us tonight,” I said. “We can go our separate ways in the morning.”
The three of us walked in the growing darkness, scurrying out of sight whenever a car chanced to pass. When we grew too tired to walk further, we headed into a small knot of trees and hid ourselves for the night. It was chilly out, but we were all fast asleep almost as soon as our heads hit the ground.
Casper
I awoke early. At first I thought I was alone in the mausoleum, but then I saw the moon shining through the trees overhead. I looked to one side and saw Chad, the boy who had escaped from the Cloverdale Center with Brendan. He was sleeping peacefully. I looked to my other side and there was Brendan, also still asleep. I just lay there and gazed at him, smiling. I knew we were in a tough spot, but I couldn’t help but be happy. We were together again, and this time we were going to stay together.
I wondered if that was really true, however. My boyfriend was a fugitive. He wasn’t a criminal or anything like that, but until he turned eighteen, he belonged to his parents. It was like slavery. They owned him. They could do a lot of stuff to him against his will, like put him in that horrible center. I was worried that we’d get caught, and that they’d take him back there. I didn’t think I could handle that. I didn’t think Brendan could either.
I didn’t want to be alone, ever again. If they came for Brendan, I’d do everything within my power to help him escape. I’d do anything. I loved Brendan. He was all I had.
I thought about my father and brother. It had been a long time since we’d been a real family. It had been ages since I thought that they cared for me. I guess my dad really had cared about me all those years, at least a little. He never showed it, but his dying words were all about how he loved me and how he was sorry. Part of me couldn’t forgive him for the way he’d treated me, or the way he’d ignored me. Part of me mourned him. He wasn’t the best father to be sure, but he was my daddy, and he was gone. I was without parents, an orphan.
I wondered if Jason was dead or alive. I didn’t miss him. There was no sadness in my heart when I thought about him. If he was dead, it was no worse
180 than he deserved. He’d been cruel. He’d beat me and done horrible things to me. There was no excuse for it. I knew his life was hard, just like mine, but I didn’t choose to hurt anyone like he did. True, I was small and not very strong, but even if I had muscles bulging out everywhere, I knew I wouldn’t hurt anyone the way he’d hurt me. For a long time I thought maybe I deserved what he did to me in some way, but I didn’t deserve it. No one deserved to be used like that. It was just wrong. My brother had been nice to me at one time, before our mother died, but he’d been abusive and cruel ever since then. Something inside him had made him go bad. He wasn’t the same boy he’d been when Mom was alive. It didn’t matter if he was alive or dead, he wasn’t my brother anymore.
Brendan awoke and smiled at me. We smiled at each other all the time, it felt good. He sat up and stretched.
“What’s for breakfast?
”
“I made pancakes and fried some eggs,” I said.
“Mmmm, that sounds good. Now what do we really have?”
“How ‘bout peanut butter on crackers and some water?” I asked him.
“Peanut butter and crackers here sounds a whole lot better than pancakes and eggs back in the center, not that we ever got that,” he said. “It sounds a whole lot better than the best breakfast I could imagine back in the center.”
Our talking awakened Chad. He looked around confused for a moment, then it dawned on him where we were.
“Dudes!” he said.
Chad was an odd one, but I liked him. Brendan had said he couldn’t have escaped without him, so that put me eternally in Chad’s debt as far as I was concerned. I had to keep myself from laughing at the way he talked sometimes. He sounded like some kind of California surfer boy or something. He said ‘dude’ more than anyone I knew.
I got out a jar of peanut butter and some crackers from my pack. Stacey had even thought to put in a butter knife. Good old Stacey. I knew I’d miss her terribly.
I spread peanut butter on crackers and handed them out. We had ourselves a nice little breakfast under the trees. I felt like we were setting out on some great adventure. It was like we were alone on our own little island, just like in The Lord of the Flies, only without the sticks sharpened at both ends.
While we ate, Chad pulled a map out of his backpack. Brad and Stacey had thought of just about everything. Chad studied it for a few moments.
“About a mile on, there’s another road that crosses this one we’re following. I think I’ll head out south from there, maybe go to Florida or Texas or someplace. It’ll be getting real cold soon and I wanna go someplace warm. How ‘bout you dudes?” he asked.
I hadn’t really thought about it myself. We’d been so busy getting out of town that there just wasn’t time to think about where we were going. “Away” was as much of a destination as we needed then. I looked at Brendan and he shrugged his shoulders.