Accidental Nazi

by Ward Wagher

  “Of course. Still, Lisbon is a challenging city. This operation certainly worked better than Operation Willi did last year.”

  Schloss nodded as he frantically tried to remember the details of that operation.

  Ribbentrop gave him a slight smile. “The Duke of Windsor, you remember.”

  Okay, Ribbentrop took me off the hook. Generous of him. Willi was the plot to kidnap the Duke of Windsor – the former King of England who abdicated to marry the love of his life. If I remember, Ribbentrop personally ran that operation and it turned into a circus.

  “Yes, yes. I was having trouble placing the code word. Things actually went well until that overly-rambunctious Englander attracted the attention of the Portuguese secret police.”

  “Just so,” Ribbentrop replied. “You could be sitting in the Tower of London right now.”

  Schloss shrugged. “I don't know. The Portuguese are pretty good. I think it would have been stopped well short of that. The Englishman got PNGed for his trouble.”

  “It normally takes quite a while for Salazar to make up his mind to declare anyone Persona Non Grata. Our ambassador there received an informal apology from the Portuguese foreign office. They were of the opinion that things like that just aren't done on their soil.”

  “Unless they do it themselves,” Peter commented.

  “Precisely. Even junior diplomats should not have to worry about things like that, Herr Eisengruber.”

  “Oh, there is no question in my mind that they knew who I was,” Schloss said. “The head of their secret police actually came to the hotel to sort things out. He told me that Salazar appreciated my keeping a low profile.”

  “So the Prime Minister knew you were there?” Ribbentrop asked.

  “It seems. I think he was happy to pretend Herr Eisengruber was a low level courier. Taking official notice would have caused trouble with his English friends.”

  “I'm surprised the English haven't simply deposed him. Lord knows I would have, if I were them.”

  “Be glad that they haven't, Herr Foreign Minister.”

  “Oh absolutely. If something happened to Salazar, the supply of Wolfram from them would probably dry up. I don't know if we could increase our trade with the Russians enough to cover that or not.”

  “I don't know,” Schloss said. “I really don't want to find out. We lose that, or we lose our oil, and we lose the war. It's that simple.”

  Ribbentrop looked around the room. He reached out and exchanged his flute of sekt with a fresh one off the tray of a passing waiter. He looked around again.

  “You know, Herr Partieleiter, I am aware that nobody at our level likes me, and that's fine. I am a bumbling amateur in this job. But, I do know how to make money. And this kind of war makes no money for anyone, except those robbing the Jews. Hitler was on his way to destroying this country and I didn't know what to do.”

  Schloss scanned the room as Ribbentrop spoke. Peter was becoming nervous.

  “Your point, Herr Foreign Minister?” Schloss asked.

  “I cannot afford to antagonize either Himmler or Goebbels, but I am very interested in your success.”

  With that, Ribbentrop stepped away and entered another conversation. Schloss looked over at Peter and raised an eyebrow.

  “And what do you think of that?”

  Peter shook his head. “He took a huge risk in telling you that. But, I don't trust him.”

  “I trust no one in that group,” Schloss said. “But it's clear Ribbentrop can see which way the wind is blowing.”

  “He is no different than any of the rest of those criminals in one respect,” Peter said. “He looks out for himself first of all.”

  “And never forget it,” Schloss replied.

  A roar of laugher in the opposite corner interrupted them. Quite few of the guests were in a circle around Hess. He stood with a glass of water and chatted with his audience. He was obviously in high spirits.

  “It looks as though our Rudolph is having a fine evening,” Schloss said. “I suppose he is regaling them with tales about his road trips.”

  “He has definitely become the fair-haired child with the populace,” Peter said.

  “Be glad he has. With Hitler gone we need someone in the government to provide a face to the people. He does it very well.”

  “I fervently hope he knows his limitations.”

  “I worry every day about him stepping on his crank in a very public fashion. I hope he doesn't. He is too useful.”

  “Does he listen to you, Hennie?”

  “So far. Look at Himmler.”

  Peter glanced across the room where the Reichsprotektor stood next to Goering. They were both frowning at Hess.

  “Is that trouble brewing?”

  “I don't know,” Schloss replied. “If Hess stays on an even keel, he should be fine. If he gets himself into trouble, I probably cannot protect him.”

  “What if I get into trouble?”

  Schloss looked at his brother-in-law. “Peter, we are all on a high wire. If we are paying attention we can recover from some of our mistakes. But, others will be fatal. If you get into trouble, I will do what I can to protect you. But if it comes to a choice between you and the Fatherland, you will lose. It's that simple.”

  “I understand Hennie. We are playing for the fate of millions, aren't we?”

  “Absolutely. And you have no idea how big this is.”

  “I almost feel like you can see into the future, Hennie.”

  “Peter, I have no idea what the future will look like for us. I am working very hard to manage the present.”

  Renate and Gisela walked up to them.

  “You really do not like these events, do you?” Renate asked.

  “Is it that obvious?” Schloss asked.

  “Maybe not to the others, but I have known you for a long time.”

  “Sisters can be unmerciful,” Schloss said.

  “Oh, I don't know,” Peter said. “I think she is just trying to keep you out of trouble.”

  “A thankless job,” Renate said. “But somebody has to do it.”

  “Enjoying the reception?” Schloss asked Gisela.

  “This is very nice. It seems the Deputy Fuhrer is having a great evening.”

  Schloss looked over at the group hanging off of Hess and smiled. “Rudolf is in his element tonight. He really knows how to hold an audience.”

  “He surprises me,” Renate said. “It's like he has come out of his shell or something.”

  “He has a gift,” Peter said. “I had always thought he was something of a flake.”

  Schloss grinned at Peter, but said nothing.

  “Oh,” Peter said.

  “Would you like some more sekt?” Gisela asked Schloss.

  “No. Thank you. I need to have a clear head tomorrow. For some reason the sekt always gives me a headache.”

  “I see they have some coffee at the table.”

  “In that case, some coffee would be very nice.”

  Renate watched her walk off and turned to Schloss. “I hope you don't mind my little surprise, Hennie. She really is a special lady.”

  “I have come to realize that, and no, Rennie, I don't mind.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

  October 1, 1941; 2 PM

  Bohm & Voss Shipyard, Hamburg

  “I am amazed that you have come up with an idea like this, Herr Partieleiter,” Erich Kreiken said. The marine engineer stood next to a test stand where a model of a teardrop shaped hull rested.

  Schloss and Goering had made the trip to Hamburg that morning particularly to see the developments at the shipyard. Schloss's Condor was back in operation after a thorough inspection by mechanics under observation by party members trusted by Rainer. The trip was without incident.

  “I am not anything like a skilled engineer, understand,” Schloss said. “It just seemed to me that if you cleaned up the hull of the U-boat, it would go faster, or rather more efficiently.”

  “We have
been engaged in studies on the next generation boats and we had already been experimenting with a more... streamlined shape. The general parameters are much greater underwater speed and endurance. If we combine that with rapid charging, we will have a much more effective weapon.”

  “Of course the next question,” Schloss said with a smile, “is that question you really don't want to hear. But... how soon?”

  The engineer grimaced. “If everything goes well, I would say three years.”

  “That's about what I expected,” Schloss said. “I think you can expect full funding for the next generation of weapons.”

  “That's very good to hear, Herr Partieleiter. With this new generation of U-boats, I believe Germany would rule the seas.”

  “Perhaps. But, we must also anticipate advances on the other side as well. Tell, me has any thought been given to revising the current models in production to make them more streamlined? Perhaps add a bit more battery capacity? Maybe if we studied the current models carefully, we could make them quieter and more effective.”

  The engineer considered what Schloss said. “That sounds reasonable to me, however, it is outside of my area. You would need to take it up with the managing director and the navy, of course. The navy is very enthusiastic about our project here.”

  “I will speak to your director, then,” Schloss said. “And to the navy. I like very much what I see here. You have accomplished a lot in a short time.”

  “Thank you, Herr Partieleiter,” Kreiken said. “I am proud to serve the party.”

  Goering stood by and said nothing as Schloss talked to the engineer. Schloss turned to him.

  “Do you have any questions, Herr Reichsmarshall?”

  He shook his head. “No. I am a pilot, not a U-boat operator. But, I am impressed.”

  The engineer bobbed his head. “Thank you, Herr Reichsmarshall. We are honored to have you visit.”

  As they left the shipyard in the Mercedes supplied by the local party office, Schloss turned to Goering.

  “What do you think, should we have a late lunch before returning to Berlin?”

  “I thought you would never ask, Herr Schloss.”

  Schloss chuckled. “Very well. Can you recommend a place to eat, then? I am not as familiar with Hamburg.”

  “Yes. Driver, turn right. Stay on this avenue.”

  Schloss watched the scenery move past as they drove through the city.

  “What did you think of our visit, Herr Goering?”

  “I know I begrudge every pfennig I cannot spend on my Luftwaffe, but I was impressed today.”

  “I must ask you this question, then,” Schloss said. “The Fuhrer put you in charge of managing the war economy. Can you rise above your bias towards the Luftwaffe for the good of Germany?”

  “But Herr Schloss, air power is the way of the future. Not those clods marching along the ground.”

  “Did airpower subdue the English, Herr Goering?” Schloss asked softly.

  “It almost did,” he quickly replied. “We were succeeding until we changed tactics.”

  Schloss thought about his knowledge of the Second World War. Goering was systematically reducing the ability of the Royal Air Force to fight when a British bombing attack on Berlin drove Hitler into bombing London rather than the air fields. This gave the British the breather they needed to stay in the game.

  “Okay, granted,” Schloss said. “But, assuming we knocked out the English in the air, what then?”

  “Then we would have sent the army across the channel.”

  “In what?”

  “That is the Navy's problem,” Goering said.

  “Are you the Reichsmarshall?”

  “Yes, of course.”

  “Then it's your problem, Herr Goering. I don't care if it's the Luftwaffe, the Wehrmacht, or the Kriegsmarine, it is ultimately your responsibility.”

  “B-b-but, the Army High Command will not listen to me.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because they would always go around me to the Fuhrer.”

  “And why would they do that, Herr Goering?” Schloss asked.

  “They refused to accept my directives. Even now, we have a million men coming back from the east. They refuse to place them back into the reserves. They begrudge every man we turn loose. This is manpower we could use, Herr Schloss. Himmler has been talking about giving me prisoners from the camps to build our armaments. I think it is insane. Would you want to fly in a fighter that was built by slave labor?”

  “Okay, Hermann. Let me see what I can do. I really want to keep the Jews out of the camps.”

  “Everybody knows you do, Herr Schloss,” Goering said.

  “And do you know why?” Schloss asked softly. There was menace in his voice now.

  “Himmler has said it is because you are a secret Jew lover.”

  “And what do you think, Herr Goering?”

  “I think what we are doing to the Jews is criminal. I have no great love for them, but...” he hesitated. “We're civilized, Herr Schloss.”

  They rode on in silence for a while.

  “Pull over on the right,” Goering commanded the driver.

  They stopped in front of a gasthaus.

  “This is the place?” Schloss asked.

  “Yes, Herr Partieleiter. The food here is first rate.”

  “Very well, let's give it a try. I have been wary of these places since I broke a tooth last month.”

  “I understand. That must have been painful.”

  “You have no idea.”

  # # #

  October 17, 1941, 2:30 PM

  Reich Chancellery, Berlin's

  “This is insane,” Himmler yelled as he surged to his feet. “This goes completely against everything the party stands for.”

  “What does the party stand for?” Schloss asked quietly.

  The members of the government were silent as they sat around the table. Whatever their personal opinions, they were content to let Schloss and Himmler fight it out. And the argument had been building for the past hour.

  “The party has always stood foursquare against the depredations of the Jewish menace. They have hampered our commerce, they have poisoned our youth and they caused us to lose the last war.”

  “And your point is, Herr Reichsprotektor?”

  “If we banish them to the Middle East they will simply wait for another opportunity to stab us in the back.”

  “I have proposed a perfectly adequate solution to the Jewish problem,” Schloss said. “What is the alternative?”

  “Why we must exterminate them. That is what the Fuhrer wanted. It is the only reasonable solution.”

  “You wish to murder millions of men, women and children?”

  “Murder?” Himmler shouted. “This is not murder. These are not people. They are untermenschen, sub-humans, animals. We will rid ourselves of these pests, this infection.”

  “And what then? It will cost us hundreds of millions of Reichsmarks without any return. Better to plant them in Palestine,” Schloss said. “They will thank us for giving them a homeland. They will look to the Germans as protectors. We are not interested in that land anyway.”

  “How will we take that land away from the English, then?” Goebbels asked.

  Schloss smiled inwardly. He expected the propaganda minister to align naturally with Himmler. Getting him into the discussion was a major advance in the argument.

  “We don't,” Schloss said. “We let the Jews take the land away from the English. We have warehouses of obsolete weapons we will never use. When they get off the ship in Haifa, we will give each man a rifle and ammunition.”

  “At which time they will turn around and use it on us,” Himmler said. “You are a fool.”

  “Look at the map, Herr Himmler. They would be fifteen-hundred miles away. They will be so busy trying to feed themselves and keeping the Moslems away they won't have time to do anything else. And if they all die there, it won't be on us. We could blame the English.”
/>
  “He makes sense,” Goebbels said.

  “Not you too, Joseph?” Himmler yelled. “This man is poisoning all of us.”

  “Oh, nonsense,” Schloss said. “I have a cheaper, more practical solution and it will aid the Fatherland in the long run.”

  “Heinrich,” Goebbels said softly to Himmler. “Listen to the man. You had no problems with the idea of transporting the Jews to Madagascar until that became unfeasible. This is actually superior to that.”

  Himmler stared back and forth between Goebbels and Schloss, then abruptly sat down. “You're going to do what you're going to do regardless of what I say.”

  It grew quiet in the room. Finally, Goebbels spoke again. “How do you propose to transport the Jews to Palestine?”

  “Let me address that,” Goering said. “Initially we will transport them by ship from Italy. We will encourage Jews to purchase ships for the purpose as well. Once we have a secure area we can begin flying them in.”

  “Flying them in, Herr Goering?” Himmler asked. “What is the distance?”

  “About twelve-hundred miles, Herr Himmler. Next year we will see production begin on several long range transports.”

  Himmler said nothing further, but stared down at his notebook and tapped the table with a pencil. Schloss looked around the table at the others, then nodded.

  “Very well,” Hess said. “One more item of business for today.”

  Schloss and Himmler both looked at Hess, not seeing another item on their agendas.

  “It has been four months since the death of the Fuhrer. I wondered if we should put a permanent government into place.”

  Schloss said nothing, rather waited to see how Himmler would react. This time Ribbentrop spoke first.

  “Do you see any activities among the people that would drive us to doing something like this, Herr Deputy Fuhrer?”

  Hess shook his head. “Things are quite peaceful across the land right now. No, there is no agitation for this.”

  “So, in other words,” Goering said, “you've made a few speeches and believe we should select you as the new Fuhrer by acclamation.”

  Hess turned red. “That is not exactly what I meant.”