Late Arrivals (Special Delivery Book 4)

by J. A. Armstrong

  “What do you say you show my dad what we worked on last week?” Kyle suggested. Davey nodded enthusiastically and happily followed Kyle out a set of sliding glass doors.

  “Thank you,” Tess said sincerely.

  “Thanks for letting him help out. Kyle’s been having a blast with him,” Tad told Tess.

  “I’m glad. I can see a difference in him already,” Tess said.

  Tad sensed the hopeful caution in Tess’s voice. “Ten is a rotten age,” he said. “I took a lot of shit from kids at that age.”

  “Really?”

  Tad nodded. “Cellos weren’t very macho in 1981 either,” he chuckled.

  “But, you never quit.”

  “No, but that wasn’t really an option in my house. I wanted to—quite a few times, actually. My mother didn’t believe in the all or nothing scenario. Sometimes that was a curse. Sometimes it was a blessing, I guess. When I started playing ball, well it served me well.”

  “All the practice,” Tess guessed.

  “There was that,” he replied. “Discipline helped. Resilience helped more. When I hit the majors… You know, you think you are prepared. You learn quickly that one loss and you become the fans’ worst nightmare; a winning streak and you are their hometown hero. Not unlike kids,” he mused. “I learned to tune out the noise and listen to the criticism that helped as a kid. I had to. It helped later on.”

  “I would never have thought of that,” Tess said, impressed by Tad’s honesty and insight.

  “Not like I realized it right away. Looking back, it’s probably one of the things that helped me endure that pressure the most. I knew who I was. I didn’t worry as much about who other people thought I was. That gets easier with age. Kids are always looking for acceptance.”

  Tess sighed. “Aren’t we all?” she said lightly.

  “Touché,” he winked at her. “How about we go see what my boy has been working on with your boy?”

  “Out of curiosity,” Tess began. “What made you choose baseball over music?”

  “Good question. I don’t know that I did,” he said. Tess’s curiosity swelled. Tad smiled. “I think sometimes things choose us. Music is my release; you know? I never wanted the pressure of it being a profession. Maybe that’s why. I'm not sure if that makes any sense.”

  Tess nodded. “It does to me,” she told him. Perfect sense.

  ***

  Tess walked into the bedroom to find Brooke sprawled out, looking peaceful. She smiled. Brooke was feeling far more like herself physically. It was also clear to Tess that Brooke remained upset about the events earlier that day. Tess kicked off her sneakers and crawled up alongside Brooke. She sighed in contentment when Brooke pulled her closer.

  “You okay?” Tess asked as she held on gently to Brooke.

  “I am now.”

  Tess kissed Brooke’s chest and sighed again. “Want to talk about?”

  “Not really,” Brooke chuckled. “I’d rather hear about your day.”

  “It was good.”

  “Um-hum,” Brooke chuckled again. “D. was excited, huh? To meet Tad, I mean.”

  “He was. I can’t believe the difference in him,” Tess said.

  “Well, let’s enjoy it while it lasts,” Brooke joked.

  “You don’t think it will?” Tess asked.

  “Maybe. We both know he’ll turn life upside down again at some point,” Brooke answered truthfully. “I know that I did it to my parents a few times. Mostly after they divorced.” Brooke felt Tess tense in her arms. “Tess… he’s a kid.”

  “I just wonder if he needs more than we are giving him. I mean, if we should take him to talk to someone.”

  Brooke pulled Tess closer. “Maybe,” she said, and felt Tess tense again. “Not what you wanted me to say,” she guessed. “Maybe we should. Only because he might feel more comfortable talking to someone who is not you or me,” Brooke clarified. “Not because I think he’s in danger of going off the rails. I had a counselor. Mom had me talk to someone when we moved to Connecticut,” she told Tess.

  Tess picked her head up and looked at Brooke curiously. “You never told me that.”

  Brooke shrugged. “To tell you the truth, I haven’t thought much about it in years. It was only for a couple of months.”

  “Did it help?”

  “Yeah, I think so,” Brooke confessed. “It didn’t keep me from driving Mom crazy now and again,” she laughed. “But, I was able to say things I wouldn’t have said to my parents.”

  Tess collapsed her head back onto Brooke’s chest. They remained silent for a while, Tess soaking in the comfort of Brooke’s arms, and Brooke reveling in the ability to hold Tess without feeling she might be ill at any moment.

  Tess heard Brooke sigh, this time it was laced by more stress than contentment. “Brooke, talk to me.”

  “I’m not sure what to say,” Brooke confessed. “Things with Jason just spiraled. I should have told Rachel. I know I should have. I just didn’t…”

  “Want her to rush to your defense. She knows that, love.”

  “Yeah, but… Tess, he raised some concerns too. He accused the practice of being unethical.”

  Tess sat up straight. “What?”

  Brooke’s mouth wrinkled in disdain. “I delivered Eli. Rachel has had primary oversight of my health.”

  “So?”

  “So, he believes that is unethical.”

  “That’s a stretch. Unconventional, maybe,” Tess said. “Did you tell Dad that?” she wondered. Brooke nodded. “What did he say?”

  “Same thing you did,” Brooke replied. “Among other things,” she muttered. “Thing is; I think that we are both faced with a decision now that legal is involved.”

  “What kind of decision?” Tess wanted to know.

  “Well, Rachel and I seek other providers for our care or we part ways professionally,” Brooke said.

  “Oh, Brooke… Is that really necessary?”

  “I think so.”

  “What are you going to do?” Tess asked.

  Brooke chuckled caustically. “I don’t know. Maybe my dad is right. I need to control everything.”

  “Is that what he actually said?”

  “More or less.”

  “Brooke…”

  “He’s right; I do. Rachel said something similar. You know, about how kids teach you about slowing down and speeding up all at once? Like, no one is really in control.”

  Tess smiled at Brooke. “Only of themselves,” she said.

  Brooke nodded. “You sound like my dad.”

  “He’s right. You can’t change other people, love. They have to want to change. You can’t save anyone that doesn’t want to be saved either, even in medicine. They have to want it. You can help. That’s the best you can do.”

  “What if that isn’t good enough?”

  “It has to be,” Tess replied. “Even when you don’t feel like it is. It’s like what you are telling me about Davey.”

  “I know,” Brooke admitted. “Why doesn’t that make it any easier?”

  “Because you care.”

  Brooke let her head fall back against the headboard. “I don’t think I want to leave the practice. Rach and I, we…”

  “Then don’t.”

  “How do you feel about me seeing a different…”

  “Brooke, there are lots of competent doctors—mine among them,” she reminded Brooke. “You of all people know that.”

  Brooke nodded. She knew Tess was right, and she knew she needed to crawl out of her head. She decided a change of subject was in order. “So? What were you up to today?”

  “What would you think if I volunteered at the Peabody Essex?”

  Brooke shifted to look at Tess. “Really?” Tess bit her lip and smiled hopefully. “I think that would be awesome. You know, if you really wanted to, you could probably make some connections and find out where to sell your paintings.”

  Tess laughed. “Brooke, I don’t want to sell my paintings.”

>   “Why not?”

  Tess sat up again. Her conversation with Tad Wilson earlier that day immediately came to mind. She hoped maybe the way he had framed his explanation of music in his life, might be a way to make Brooke understand how she felt about painting. She let out a long sigh, kissed Brooke on the cheek and sat back again.

  “How do I make you understand this?”

  “They are really great, Tess. I know you don’t think so…”

  “Maybe they are, and maybe they aren’t,” Tess said. “The thing is, Brooke, I don’t really want to have to endure anyone’s opinion about that. I just love to paint. That’s all. It’s time for me to escape, to just be free. When I’m doing it, my thoughts drift aimlessly, and I don’t try to wrangle them. When I finish? I feel centered again. It’s my safe, free space. I don’t ever want it to be a place that causes stress. Can you sort of understand that? I don’t want to think about how to sell them or where to sell them or worry about people judging them. I just want to love that time—for me. What I share and who I share it with, that’s because I love them. I need that for myself.”

  Brooke listened to Tess as Tess thoughtfully explained her feelings. She leaned in when Tess finished and placed a loving kiss tenderly on Tess’s lips.

  “What was that for?” Tess asked.

  “I understand,” Brooke said. “I’m just proud of you, I guess.”

  “And, I love you for that. It’s just…”

  “I think I understand,” Brooke repeated.

  Tess smiled gratefully. Brooke leaned in and kissed Tess again, pulling her closer and deepening their kiss slowly. She heard Tess whimper and smiled against Tess’s lips.

  “I’ve missed you,” Brooke whispered.

  Tess let her fingers comb gently through the waves of Brooke’s hair. “I love you, Brooke.”

  “I love you too,” Brooke replied with another kiss.

  Tess began to fall helplessly under Brooke’s spell. That’s often how she thought she should describe being with Brooke. It felt to Tess as if Brooke had cast a spell over her. The slightest touch, simplest kiss from Brooke could cause Tess to lose the will to control her emotions or for that matter, her body. She had no desire to resist Brooke. Tess had come to understand that there were many things in life, and many times in life that were served best by letting go. She had learned that lesson in some of the most painful and some of the most wonderful ways. Trusting another person with your heart was never easy, even when it felt natural. With Brooke, Tess had no choice.

  At times, Tess mused that Brooke reminded her a great deal of a river. There were moments that Brooke raged almost violently, tossing everything about in her wake. And, then there were those times when Brooke became a soothing current, carrying Tess gently along. Occasionally, the sheer power of Brooke’s energy would pull Tess under, making it difficult for her to breathe. Ironically, Brooke’s gentleness often had the same effect. No matter, Brooke was the current that ran through every part of Tess. Tess craved Brooke’s touch whether it came in the form of passionate lovemaking or a reassuring hug.

  Brooke’s lips drifted sensually over Tess’s throat, and Tess closed her eyes. She battled with herself, feeling that she should pull back from Brooke’s advances. Brooke had not slept well in weeks. It was clear that the day had been stressful for Brooke. Tess struggled to quiet her thoughts. Selfishly, she wanted to float away on the moment. She let her hands roam over the curves of Brooke’s body and delighted in the strength and softness that was Brooke. Brooke’s fingers wandered playfully down Tess’s chest, and Tess gasped when they brushed delicately over her breasts.

  “Brooke,” Tess forced herself to reach for Brooke’s hand and still its motion.

  Brooke hovered over Tess and smiled. “Yes?” she asked playfully. Tess sighed. “Stop worrying,” Brooke reassured her wife.

  Tess reached out and ran a fingertip down Brooke’s cheek. “You’ve barely slept in over two weeks,” she reminded Brooke.

  “That’s not so unusual,” Brooke pointed out, referring the insanity of her schedule at times.

  “No, but you aren’t normally violently ill for hours at a time either. That takes a lot out of you. We can just…”

  Brooke leaned in and captured Tess’s lips in a grateful kiss that steadily deepened bringing the passion that had been lying in wait between them to the surface. Brooke reveled in the kiss, prolonging it as long as she could manage. She felt Tess’s hands grip the flesh of her back and understood Tess’s need to feel grounded. Her lips strayed, finding their way to Tess’s neck again.

  Brooke took a moment to whisper softly into Tess’s ear. “I’ve missed you,” she repeated her earlier declaration. “I need you right now,” she confessed emotionally.

  Tess breathed in Brooke’s words and the emotions that seemed to pour off of Brooke in waves. She pulled Brooke to face her again and traced the outline of Brooke’s lips with her fingertips. Tess smiled and shook her head, gratefulness and disbelief coloring the moment. It was hardly the first time she had found herself overwhelmed by what existed between them. She made no attempt to withhold the tears that began to run over her cheeks.

  “Why are you crying?” Brooke asked.

  Tess closed her eyes for a split second before opening them again to answer. When she looked back into Brooke’s eyes, her lips curled into a warm smile. Tenderly, Tess took hold of Brooke’s face. “Sometimes, Brooke,” Tess’s thoughts trailed off as her fingers caressed Brooke’s cheeks.

  “I know,” Brooke said. She kissed Tess lovingly on the forehead.

  Tess opened her eyes again as her tears continued to fall freely. “I can’t believe it sometimes,” she admitted.

  Brooke smiled. There was no need for Tess to explain further. At times, Brooke found herself unable to fathom the love she held for Tess. She’d heard people say that love changed. The everyday realities of life had a tendency to squelch passion. Conflicting personalities and the chaos of everyday living eventually faced head-on collisions that could choke the passion out of a marriage. The truth was, those moments occurred from time to time for everyone. It wasn’t as if Brooke and Tess possessed the perfect marriage. Brooke doubted such a thing existed. They certainly did not always agree. They were different people who often found their relationship challenged by competing ideas, outside pressures, and deeply embedded emotional baggage. But, somehow those instances remained just that—fleeting moments. Those times remained moments that faded into oblivion when Brooke opened the freezer to find a gallon of her favorite ice cream that Tess always kept stocked. IT was the same for Tess. Arguments and upheavals were instances that became meaningless when Tess watched Brooke play with Davey in the backyard, or when Brooke was engaged in some utterly mundane activity like cooking burgers on the grill. Passion, Brooke had come to realize, was derived from the simplest of truths. Brooke loved Tess in a way that seemed almost beyond the reason she so often relied on in life. Yet, it had been Tess that had finally given all that reason meaning.

  Brooke placed a series of feathery kisses on Tess’s face. “Just let me love you,” she pleaded.

  Tess pulled Brooke’s lips to hers in reply.

  Brooke’s heart hammered violently in her chest, instantly craving a deeper connection with her wife. She rained kisses back down Tess’s throat as her hands simultaneously sought to remove Tess’s shirt. She needed to feel Tess moving against her.

  Tess steadied Brooke’s quivering hand. It amused and touched her, the way Brooke could become unsteady even after the years they had now been together. Tess lifted her T-shirt over her head and smiled at the glassy-eyed expression on Brooke’s face. This was not an evening for playfulness. It was a moment that Tess now understood demanded mutual submission. Tess removed Brooke’s shirt and pulled her close again. The intensity of the kiss that followed produced a series of shock waves through Tess’s body that left a persistent tingling sensation lingering over every inch of her skin. Lost in the myriad of sensations c
onsuming her, Tess gasped in surprise when she felt Brooke’s mouth encircle her nipple. Instinctively, her hands dropped to Brooke’s head, urging Brooke to continue.

  Brooke sensed desperation building in Tess. It was the same urgency that she could feel running through her veins. “God, I missed you,” Brooke said as her lips descended down Tess’s stomach.

  Tess’s hands grasped the sheets of the bed. She wanted to touch Brooke. She longed to make love to Brooke, but Brooke’s persistent touch was making it impossible for her to gain any control. She whimpered at the first sensation of Brooke’s mouth as it began to explore lower. Tess heard Brooke’s deep moan and thought she might fall over the edge of sanity at the sound.

  “Jesus!” Tess cried out.

  Brooke placed a firm palm on Tess’s abdomen to keep Tess steady as she let her tongue and teeth begin to tease Tess into a frenzy. She glanced up to see Tess’s lips part. A small sigh escaped Tess’s lips. In an instant, Tess had bitten down on her bottom lip. Brooke recognized the movement as Tess’s attempt to suppress a desire to call out to Brooke.

  Tess wanted to scream Brooke’s name. She wanted to describe every sensation and every image that was floating through her mind as Brooke touched her. She wanted Brooke to know. She needed Brooke to know. Her frustration was building quickly. Brooke’s father was in the bedroom next door, the kids were a short way down the hall, and there was no way once Tess opened her mouth that she was going to be capable of reserving her tongue or her tone. She could feel herself approaching a fever pitch moment when there would be no turning back. More than anything, Tess needed Brooke. She fought to speak quietly. “I need you,” Tess choked.

  Brooke took Tess’s words to mean that she sought release. She moved to pull Tess closer to her. Tess grabbed Brooke’s shoulders and gently tugged to signal she wanted Brooke to face her.

  “What’s wrong?” Brooke asked.

  Tess kissed Brooke possessively. “I need you,” she said.

  Brooke’s heart skipped several beats. She nodded, kissed Tess gently and flipped their positions.

  “No,” Tess said. She moved onto her back and directed Brooke to exactly where she wanted her.