Lost Filthy Night_A Small Town Rockstar Romance

by Vivian Lux

  “Gabe,” I said. “You need to listen to me.”

  “No, I have to tell you this. Let me go first,” he said as he pushed the door open.

  I stepped in, pressed it closed behind me, and shook my head. “No,” I said firmly. “You need to hear this.”

  He let out an explosive sigh, then gestured for me to continue.

  “Sit,” I begged. “Please.” I shook my head. “As a nurse, I want you to heal. But as a person who—” I trailed off. What kind of person was I about to confess to being? A person who cared for him way too much? “I can’t stand to see you struggling like this when there are ways you can help yourself.”

  Gabe stared at me for a long moment. When he inclined his head in a soft nod, I wondered what he had decided to tell me. My heart started racing out of some perverse defense mechanism. Even though I wanted nothing more than to stay here with him, the way he was looking at me had me ready to flee.

  Finally he exhaled and patted the bed next to him. “Right,” he said. “And this was what I was going to tell you, too.” He glanced at me. I hadn’t moved from the spot. “Please come sit by me, Everly. Standing up like that? You have to know it looks like you’re showing off right now.”

  In spite of myself, I started laughing. When I went to him, it was with the sun shining inside of me. “What were you going to tell me?” I asked as I settled in next to him.

  His thigh was pressed alongside mine. He didn’t look up at me when I sat down, but he did reach over and grab my hand. He lifted my fingers, playing with each one in turn before twining them with his. “Everly, I can’t take those painkillers. I can’t.”

  I snatched my hand away. “Yes you can!” I bleated, frustration making me raise my voice. “You’re only refusing to out of some kind of—”

  “I can’t!” he said in a low, forceful tone that stopped me mid-sentence. I stared at him and when he finally raised his eyes to mine, I felt like he’d caught me in a tractor beam. Pulling me in to him. “Everly, I’ve been sober two years, one month, and fourteen days.”

  “Sober,” I echoed, not quite comprehending. Was he a drunk? Is that what he—

  “Pills,” he said, answering the question I hadn’t dared ask. “Anything I could get my hands on, but opioids mostly. Codeine, morphine, Vicodin.” He glanced away and seemed to force himself to look at me again. Shame was written in the drawn lines on his face and my chest felt too tight to catch a full breath. I reached out and snatched up his other hand, pressing it to my lips as he said, “Our manager gave me the first one, and after that, any time I needed something to take the edge off, he was right there with another little white pill for me. I mean, even if I didn’t think I was on edge, he was still pushing.” He growled in the back of his throat and tried to snatch his hand away in frustration, but I held on to him tightly and refused to let him pull away. He looked down at our still-joined hands as if in surprise and looked up at me with a challenge in his eyes. “I tell people it was my manager who got me hooked, but no one seems to want to believe me. They tell me to take personal responsibility and I fucking have, but it wasn’t my fault.”

  A little alarm bell went off in my head, but I knew now was not the time to challenge him about that idea. Not while he was baring his soul to me. “Wow,” I said.

  He looked at me.

  “You’re pretty strong, you know that?”

  He made a snorting sound and gestured to his legs.

  I nudged him. “No, not like that. I mean… here.”

  Without thinking I pressed my hand to his heart. He closed his hand over it. I could feel the strong, steady thump thump under my fingers and there was an answering throb in my own body. My breath caught for a moment as I looked up at him again. “You’ve been suffering this whole time and you never told me why?”

  “I haven’t been suffering,” he said in a voice so low I had to lean in to hear it. “Not when I’m with you.”

  As he said that, I felt his heart speed up under my hand and my breath quickened at his reaction. Tracing my fingers up, I instinctually started to feel for the pulse at his throat.

  He caught my hands, one and then the other. “Come here,” he whispered, lightly tugging.

  “Are you sure? I might… I’m gonna hurt you.”

  “Not as much as it hurts me to have you so far away. Come here, baby. Let me hold you, please.”

  It was the please that propelled me forward until I was straddling his lap, facing him. I was careful not to press down with my full weight, but he grinned at my attempts to hold myself in the air and with a firm tug he yanked me flush against him. “Gabe!” I gasped, half thrilled and half worried. “Be careful!”

  “I’ll be careful,” he promised, then he reached up and threaded his fingers into my hair, pulling me down into a kiss that made my brain melt. “I’ll be so careful,” he murmured against my mouth, but it was just sounds now, the shape of his words deepening the kiss as I sighed into him, the light in my chest blazing as bright as the sun at noon.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Gabe

  Her body against mine was strong and taut. Her mouth was hot and desperate. There were so many layers to this girl, but they were all hidden away under that shell of hers. She was always hanging back and waiting for someone else to make the first move. She was too wary to cut loose, to take a risk.

  Who better to help her get over that than me?

  And what better way than this? “I’ll be so careful,” I was saying, but it was far from a promise I could keep. Not with her straddling me like this. Not with my hands in her hair and my face in her breasts, kissing until I felt her nipples tighten into beads under my lips. “Don’t hold yourself like that, Everly,” I told her. “I’ve got you.”

  “I—” she started to say, then hissed through her teeth as I slid my hands back around her waist to pull her down into my lap. I knew she was feeling how much I wanted her right here, right now, but that tension was still singing through her body. “Your parents,” she whispered.

  I nibbled my way from the top of one rounded breast up to her neck. “Who cares?”

  “Gabe, I—oh…” she moaned as I brushed my lips against her ear.

  A shiver tore through her body and she arched closer to me. I grinned against her neck. “Oh, you like that, huh? What else do you like, baby? Tell me quick so I have time to do them all to you before I wear you out.”

  “Do that,” she urged. Her eyes were half closed in pleasure as she pointed to her ear again. “Kiss me there again?”

  The hesitation in her voice almost broke my heart. I wondered if this girl had ever been allowed to ask for what she wanted. What she needed.

  I had a lot of work to do to show her it was okay to demand what she wanted, and I planned on enjoying every minute of it. “Right here?” I questioned, curling my tongue along her earlobe. Another delicious shudder tore through her body and it was all I could do not to groan in response. “Or do you like it better when I do this?” I nibbled along the shell of her ear before biting down.

  “Unh!” Her stifled scream was music to my ears.

  “You like it when I bite,” I groaned in approval. “Jesus, why are you so fucking perfect?” I peppered her skin from the place under her ear right down to the pulse at her throat with little biting kisses and every time my teeth found her skin she pressed against me, swaying in this sexy little rocking rhythm that drove all of the blood in my body straight down to my cock. “Let’s see if these beauties are as sensitive as your sweet little ear,” I urged, coaxing her out of the flannel and oversized T-shirt she must have changed into at home.

  With a glazed look in her eyes, she shrugged out of her flannel, then seemed to snap back into focus when I tugged at her shirt. “I’ve got it,” she said.

  “It’s okay to accept help, you know,” I couldn’t help pointing out.

  She stuck out her tongue at me as she lifted her shirt. I let out an appreciative hiss when I caught sight of her for the
first time. She was braless under her shirt and her breasts were small and perfectly shaped, with high, proud nipples that already stood at attention as if in invitation. I glanced up at her face and caught the wary look she was giving me. “You have the prettiest tits I’ve ever seen.”

  Her face flushed and she gave me a smile that squeezed my heart. “They’re small,” she said, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

  I gently tugged her hand away. “They’re perfect and I really want to tell them how perfect they are.”

  She giggled. “You want to talk to my breasts?”

  “I feel like they’re suffering from unwarranted low self-esteem. Hey,” I whispered, leaning forward and pressing my lips to her skin as I spoke. “You listen to me now. Don’t ever let anyone make you think you’re not fucking spectacular.” When she laughed again, more freely this time, I kissed first one, then the other, and gave in to the need to cup them in my hands. “Dear God, I can’t believe you’ve been hiding these from me all this time.”

  “Scrubs aren’t very flattering,” she sighed before squeaking as I gently took one of those pretty, pearly nipples into my mouth.

  It was bliss to feel that sensitive skin tighten under my lips, but when I bit down gently and made my girl gasp in pleasure, I felt higher than any pill had ever taken me before. I bit down harder, testing how much she could take and was surprised but not really surprised that Everly wanted to skirt that edge of pain. She wanted more sensation. She wanted the feelings to shut out the noise in her head.

  Just like I did.

  That revelation drove all thoughts of being careful away. With a growl, I sank my teeth into the soft skin that surrounded her nipple, biting a savage ring into one breast before moving to the other. Everly moaned and squirmed in my lap, grinding her hips against me. It was far sexier than any lapdance I’d ever had, and what made it even better was that it was my name she moaned as she writhed.

  Needing more, I tugged at her waistband. “Let me have all of you,” I demanded, almost begging. “Stand up, baby, and let me see your pussy.”

  She was beyond blushing at the rough word. She hopped off my lap with an eagerness that made my cock throb painfully. When she yanked her yoga pants down past her hips, she revealed she was bare under there as well. “Naughty girl.”

  “I thought I was going to bed.”

  “You are. With me.”

  “Then I guess I’m dressed appropriately after all,” she said, her lips twisting into a grin as she stepped out of her pants.

  “Shit,” I hissed. She gave me that same wary look as she watched me take her all in. I knew enough to add, “I bet you taste as good as you look.”

  She rocked a little on her heels, and her toes may have curled a little. “I have no idea.”

  “I’ll let you know,” I told her, reaching out and taking her hand. “I’m going to kiss your pretty pussy for a little while now. Is that okay with you?”

  “Uh.”

  “No one’s ever kissed you down there?”

  She shook her head.

  “Are you a virgin?”

  “No,” she said, her voice half frustration, half regret. “But the guy… it was just one time… and he was in a hurry… he didn’t…”

  I pressed my lips together and pushed down the urge to deck the knucklehead who didn’t take his time with this girl. “I’m glad,” I said. “Because I planned on being the standard by which you measured all guys.” I grinned. “It’s a good thing I have nobody you could compare me to.”

  “Why?”

  “Because that’s unfair to the other guy,” I boasted as I tugged her to me. “Now, baby, I want to taste you in the worst possible way, but I need you to do something to help me.”

  “Of course.”

  I shifted and leaned back onto the bed, carefully maneuvering until I was flat on my back. She watched me and when I finally laid down she let out a breath and I knew she’d been worried I was hurting. But I wasn’t feeling anything except need for her. “Ready to help me?”

  “Yes, of course.”

  “Great.” I beckoned her over. “Come sit on my face.”

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Everly

  He was looking at me. And more than that, he was seeing me.

  I was surprised at the eagerness with which I straddled him. My shyness fought against the overwhelming desire to be noticed and adored, and the desire won out fully when he looked up at me from between my legs.

  I knelt over him, exposing my most vulnerable parts to him, and he was watching like I was some kind of sacred object. His eyes flicked to that space between my legs and then back up to my eyes as I looked down at him. “Gotta say,” he murmured. “The view from down here is incredible.”

  Heat flowed through my veins as his fingers brushed up the inside of my thighs. “Spread your legs for me, baby. I need you down here.” He touched his tongue and gave a dirty flick that made my heart skip in disbelief that this was happening to me. “Right down on my mouth, please. Yes, you’re really helping me out here, thank you.” He moaned almost as loud as I did when his tongue first touched my overheated skin. I leaned forward and braced my hands on the wall, looking down in utter disbelief at Gabe King’s face between my legs. For a moment I could only assume this was some kind of fever dream brought on from stress.

  But then his tongue started moving and that worry fled my brain. Along with any thoughts about professionalism, the fact that his parents were downstairs, the fact that I wasn’t acting like myself at all. Was I really the kind of girl who could strip naked and straddle a former rockstar’s face? Was I really a girl who a former rockstar would even notice?

  Up until an hour ago I would have answered no to both of those questions and yet here I was, naked and grinding myself against Gabe King’s tongue as he made appreciative and encouraging noises. The hum of his lips against my clit went straight to my core, making my thighs tense and quake. I braced my hands against the wall, scraping my nails against the plaster as he swirled his tongue around the entrance of my pussy before lapping it in a series of small, perfect thrusts. My whole body was taut and ready, poised at the edge so that when he slid his tongue back up to my clit and flattened it so that the whole of my sex was covered in the warm pressure, it was like a bomb went off under my skin.

  “Gabe, shit, Gabe…” My powers of speech dissolved completely, leaving me with nothing but mindless babble to express what I was thinking. Fuck, I wasn’t thinking, I was only feeling the explosion roil outward to my limbs. “Gabe, fuck, Gabe…” Even as the orgasm pulsed through me, I was already greedy for more. More than his tongue could give. I wanted to hear his moans unmuffled. I wanted to watch his face as he sank inside of me and see if he watched with that same rapt attention.

  I wanted to fuck Gabe King more than I’d ever wanted anything in my life.

  “Fuck,” he groaned, still swirling that greedy tongue around. “You do taste as good as you look. I can fucking feel you coming on my tongue. You’re phenomenal, baby, you’re fucking spectacular.” He reached up, bracing my still-quivering thighs, and pressed me down to sit on his chest as the aftershocks of the orgasm he’d just given me ricocheted through my body. “I want to eat you all night long, baby, so take a break.”

  “No,” I moaned.

  “No?”

  I reached down, trailing my fingers down his chest and stomach. I could feel his muscles quivering with the strain of pent-up desire and when my fingers closed around his length, he let out a moan that sounded more like an explosion. “No,” I said as I began to move my hand in time with his arching hips. “I want to fuck you, Gabe.”

  “Christ, you really are phenomenal,” he said as he watched me stroke the outside of his jeans with a reverent gaze.

  I wasn’t experienced at all. My one sexual experience could hardly be counted as experience since it was accomplished in the teacher’s bathroom of Crown Creek High. I never knew if Hal Finley actually liked me or if he was
looking for an easy way to get his rocks off, but I had been thrilled enough by his attention that I readily agreed to follow him into the restroom and take off my pants. It had been quick and painful and when it was over, he’d barely looked at me.

  He never looked at me again.

  But Gabe was looking at me, and that knowledge made me bold. With trembling fingers, I unzipped his jeans and helped him shimmy out of them, taking care not to knock his swollen ankles. I paused before I pulled down his boxers and he lifted his head to catch my eye. “You okay?” he asked in a voice suffused with such care and longing that it undid me.

  “I’m good,” I said, and I meant it more than he could ever know.

  When I pulled his boxers down, I had to stop and remind myself that this was not the first time I was seeing his cock. It was just the first time I was seeing it hard and perfect like that. Standing at a ninety-degree angle from his body, it looked so silken and smooth that I was taken with a desire to lick it. I leaned down and kissed the head, surprised at how it felt against my lips. Gabe breathed out a ragged, “Ah!” which only made me want to make him make that sound again. I opened my mouth and closed my lips around him, and he let another “Ah!” escape. Without meaning to I made the same noise in my throat.

  I’d always thought of giving a guy head as something passive and subservient, but kneeling over Gabe and drawing those guttural moans from him every time I slid my lips down his shaft was the most powerful I had ever felt. I got greedy, moving faster, little slurping sounds escaping my mouth in my haste to take all of him in.

  I felt his big hands on my head. “Baby, you keep doing that, I’m gonna come in your mouth, and I don’t want to be done just yet,” he groaned, closing my hair in his fists.

  I sat up and he swore. “Fuck, look at you with those swollen lips. Come here and kiss me.”