The Soul's Agent

by Wendy Knight

  He blinked at me. "What are you doing up so late?"

  "It's morning, dude."

  "Oh." He collapsed on the barstool like being on his feet was a monumental achievement. "You should have come with us last night. I met the hottest girl ever."

  I raised my eyebrow at him. "You say that every time you come home. Usually, though, you bring her with you."

  He scowled at the counter top. "She left early. Had to work. I got her number though."

  "Good for you."

  "We're having a party tonight, by the way." Bryson winced, because he knew how I'd react to that. But I was too tired to yell.

  "Fine. Why?"

  "So I have a reason to invite her over." I couldn't tell if he was exhausted or drunk, but I glared at him anyway.

  "Why don't you just ask her out instead of messing up my apartment?"

  "So she came with these girls. She lives with them. Her friend—I forget her name—her friend gave me her number and said she doesn't do the whole dating thing but she does go wherever her friends go. So I invited them all to a party here." He spread his arms wide and grinned like I should congratulate him.

  I drank my coffee and went back to glaring out the window.

  "You should see this chick, Alec. Dark, dark hair. Her eyes are huge. She's like a tiny doll in six inch heels, and her voice—"

  I nearly choked on my coffee. My hand jerked so violently I spilled half the crap in my cup down the front of my bare chest as I swung toward him. "What about her voice?" I growled, ignoring the pain.

  "She sings like an angel."

  I swore. Again. "Hang on." I shoved past him, slamming my cup down on the counter as I went. I snatched a towel off the oven and wiped scalding coffee off my chest before I dropped it into the hamper in my room. I wished I didn't know exactly where that picture was. I wished I hadn't looked at it just yesterday. But I did, and now I snatched it out of the bedside table drawer and stormed back in to Bryson. "Is this her?"

  He took the picture, looking at me before he turned his attention to it. "Yeah. This is her." He handed it back to me. "Why do you have a picture of the love of my life?"

  I snarled, jerking it out of his hands. "Because she was the love of my life, once. When I was young and stupid."

  "No way. Are you serious? Are you gonna have a problem with this? Because I can find a new apartment…"

  I sighed, rubbing the back of my neck and searching for inner peace. "No. I don't care about her anymore. Go ahead."

  He peered at me and I decided he must definitely be drunk. "You sure?"

  No. "Yeah."

  He gave me a lopsided grin. I'd seen girls swoon over that smile, but it just made him look half-paralyzed to me—I didn't have a clue what girls saw in it. "So, you knew who she was from her singing? Does that mean she used to sing when you were together?"

  His words hit me hard and pulled me back to when I'd drive her anywhere or everywhere because she absolutely did not want to learn to drive, and she would sing to every song on the radio. It pulled me back to all the times I'd gone with her to competitions and performances and watched her rock the stage like she owned the world. But my favorite, the memories that hurt the most, where of her sitting on my bed, rubbing my shoulders after football practice, singing nursery rhymes under her breath. "Yeah. She sang when I knew her." She was my own personal angel.

  Unable to take his love-drunk expression anymore, I left to take a shower. This day was going to be just stellar. I could already tell.

  But you'll see her tonight. And I hated the fact that my stupid heart leapt at the thought.

  Bryson wasn't a horrible roommate. He had weird friends, and I'm not exactly sure he had a job at all because he came and went whenever he felt like it, but he paid the rent and his half of utilities on time. The fact that he was trying to date the one girl in the entire world that I would sell my soul to forget was sort of a mar on his record, though.

  That being said, he could pull a party together faster than anyone I'd ever met. By the time I came home from work, the house was stocked with food and music was already blaring on my stereo. "Hey. Do you know what kind of music she listens to?" Bryson asked, his back to me as he thumbed through his CD collection. Most people put it on an iPod now. Not Bryson. He had ten thousand little disc things taking up space in my living room.

  "She listens to everything," I mumbled, dropping my keys on the table. "And stop. I'm not your personal Navi consultant. If you want a chance at her, leave me the hell out of it." I opened the fridge, searching for something that would dull the nervous energy trying to swallow me whole, and surveyed his drink selection. "You don't have any Pepsi," I said, standing up. "Only a lot of alcohol. How many people are you inviting?"

  "I don't know. About thirty, maybe? There are three of just her and her roommates." He glanced over his shoulder at me. "She was serious about the not drinking thing?"

  I shrugged. How should I know? I hadn't talked to her in four years. Not since I'd told her she was a cheating, lying…word… that I don't need to repeat. She'd thrown Pepsi in my face then. I assumed it was still her drink of choice. She had a weird thing about alcohol and anything else that made her sluggish. Trying to get the girl to take cold meds had been a nightmare.

  "Hey, maybe you can hook up with one of her friends. She hangs out with some hot girls… and some creepy ones. But whatever." He turned back to his music and I slammed the fridge a little too forcefully. Hanging out with her friends was the last thing I wanted to do. Yeah, let's get an up close and personal show of Navi's life and how she'd moved on with no problem whatsoever.

  I was the one who'd been cheated on. Shouldn't she be the one still wallowing?

  "I'm getting in the shower," I muttered. So what if this was the second one of the day? Being an electrician was dirty work. I'd spent that afternoon slithering through crawl spaces trying to find dead wires. I was positive there were still spiders crawling through my clothes. I made it halfway across the room before I decided I should definitely bring my drink with me. I jogged to the fridge, grabbed a beer, and went back to the bathroom.

  "Party starts in an hour!" Bryson said cheerfully.

  I swore as I slammed the door.

  She was late. There were fifty other people in my small apartment by the time she showed up. I had to work in the morning and was trying to convince myself to go to bed, but my traitorous heart wouldn't give up hope that she would still show up. And for some unfathomable reason, I desperately wanted to see her. Like, I'd chew my foot out of a bear trap to see her.

  I hated myself.

  I was playing bartender, standing in my kitchen passing out drinks and laughing with Josh at drunk people. He'd been my roommate before Bryson, but decided to up and get married, and his new wife hadn't wanted to share an apartment. Go figure.

  And then Konstanz walked through the door. Konstanz was gorgeous. She always had been, and after high school, she was even hotter. There was no mistaking her. And I knew, wherever Konstanz went, Navi would be right behind. My pulse leapt as three, four more girls—not Navi—walked in after Konstanz. Maybe she wasn't coming? I felt my shoulders sag with disappointment, more crushing than I'd been expecting.

  And then Navi came through the door.

  I'd seen her yesterday. But it was through two windshields and the glare of the afternoon sun. I'd seen her in the nightmares, too, but nothing compared to real life. Her hair was longer and thicker than it had been when I'd seen her last. And Bryson had been right. Her body… made my mouth dry.

  She wore boots with heels at least six inches high, putting the top of her head to just above my chin. I watched as she scanned the room and her hand tugged nervously on the end of her red scarf. And then those big, dark eyes settled on me and I watched her suck in a breath through her teeth as pink stained her cheeks.

  Oh yeah. She hadn't forgotten me.

  I nodded, all cool, and went back to pouring drinks. "Damn. I haven't seen Navi since high schoo
l," Josh said, keeping his voice low even though there wasn't a chance she could hear us over the music and the ten thousand people shoved into my living room. "She looks good."

  "She went to Alaska after we graduated. I don't know how long she's been back. Bryson's after her now."

  "Ouch, dude. That's awkward."

  I nodded.

  "Alec. It's been a while." Konstanz sidled up to the kitchen counter with a smile, shoving Josh lightly with a bump of her hip.

  I smiled. Even after Navi and I had broken up, Konstanz had played mediator. Until she'd suddenly hated me. I still wasn't sure why, but it was nice that she'd forgotten the animosity. That, or she just wanted a drink. "It has. How are ya? What can I get you?"

  "Water, no ice. I'm good. How are you?"

  "Hi, Konstanz. I'm here, too." Josh waved.

  "Oh my gosh, you totally are. I didn't see you there." She grinned and he scowled at her. I turned my back for thirty seconds to grab her a glass, and when I came back, Navi stood next to her, looking immensely uncomfortable.

  That made me feel better. A little.

  "Navi. I heard you were back from Alaska." I tried to keep my voice cold. Instead, I was forced to wince when it jumped like a kid right before puberty.

  "Yeah." Her voice was soft and sweet. It didn't jump at all. She peered up at me through those thick lashes and I couldn't swallow. Or breathe. "Sorry I almost ran into you yesterday."

  I meant to be cold and distant. I really did. But I couldn't help the grin because she looked so damn apologetic. "It never has been safe to be on the same road as you." I nodded as her cheeks flamed. "What can I get you?"

  "Pepsi?" she asked hopefully. "And I'm a much better driver now. Honest, I am."

  Good thing I'd run out last minute to get her a twelve pack. "Yeah… I'm sure you are." I was trying to make her smile. This was not okay. Not okay at all. Why did I want to see her smile?

  She opened her mouth to respond but Bryson showed up and I would never get to hear what she was about to say. If he had been any closer to my fist, he'd be missing teeth. Or something less violent. "Navi, right?" he said like he hadn't been running this conversation through his head—and out loud—all day long. "I'm so glad you could make it." He slid his arm around her shoulders, taking the Pepsi I pushed across the counter and handing it to her. Like she couldn't pick it up herself.

  "Yeah." She smirked, just a bit, and Bryson wouldn't catch it because he didn't know her well enough but I did and I caught it.

  She didn't like him.

  Suddenly, I didn't have quite the overwhelming urge to hit him.

  "Let me introduce you to everyone. I take it you've met Alec." At my name, she raised those eyes again, and my heart stopped again, and I wanted to kick myself for feeling anything again, and I wanted to kick Bryson for taking her away from me—even if it was just across the room.

  "Yeah. We've met," she said with a hint of sarcasm. "Josh, it's good to see you again, too."

  "Finally. Someone acknowledges my presence." Josh threw up his hands. Navi grinned at him over her shoulder as Bryson led her away.

  "So, you know Bryson?" Konstanz asked. Navi's eyes were dark, almost black. Konstanz had light, friendly brown eyes, but they were trying to read my soul right then, judging by the look she was giving me.

  "He's my roommate."

  "And…?" She propped her chin on her hand and kept watching me.

  "And…" I shook my head, trying not to laugh. "He's a Pisces? What are you looking for here, K?"

  She glanced over her shoulder to where Navi was now surrounded by people, looking awesomely uncomfortable. "I don't want her to get hurt again. What's he like? Is he a player? Is he a nice guy?"

  "Again?" Josh asked innocently. "Who else has hurt her?" He was my best friend. And the second guy I'd wanted to punch in one day.

  Konstanz gave him a Look, so we all clearly knew it was me. "She cheated on me, K. I didn't hurt her."

  She rolled her eyes. "I've known Navi since we were three, Alec. She would never do something like that. And yes. You did hurt her. She left the entire state to try to get away from you."

  I felt like someone had poured ice in my veins. "She went to Alaska to get away from me? Why? What'd I ever do to her?"

  Konstanz sighed. Josh whistled low through his teeth and got off his stool. "This just got way more fun than I wanted to deal with tonight."

  "You trashed her reputation. You have no idea what kind of comments she got after you were through with her." Konstanz's eyes narrowed. "Or maybe you do."

  I tipped my head back, staring at the ceiling. "This is why you stopped talking to me." Holy shit. Could this be true? How could what Konstanz said have any truth if I had absolutely no idea it had happened? We went to the same school, right?

  She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at me and suddenly, those light brown eyes weren't so friendly. From across the room, I felt Navi watching us. Somehow, I always knew when I had her attention. It was like some inner alarm woke up and started screaming the minute those eyes landed on me.

  "Konstanz." I leaned over the counter so I was eye level with her, and lowered my voice. "I told one person why we broke up. Just one. I was hurt. I thought Navi was the love of my life. To find out she was spending every freaking night with who knows how many guys—it killed me. But I only told one person."

  She couldn't argue with me about the cheating. She'd been with me the few times I'd followed Navi out at night. Because she didn't believe me, otherwise. So I dragged her on night stakeouts for over a week, and we saw Navi go to several different houses. No, Konstanz could hate me for ruining Navi's reputation, but she couldn't say Navi didn't deserve it.

  She studied me for several long seconds, until someone who smelled like he'd had way too much to drink already broke between us, slurring while he tried to ask for another beer. I passed him his drink and shooed him on his way, trying to find Navi in the crowd again. Bryson I could see because he was loud and always the center of attention. But not Navi.

  "I believe you." She shrugged. "Your breakup was pretty… public… though. But you were an ass for thinking for one second she would do that." I opened my mouth to defend myself, but she cut me off, this five foot nothing girl who looked like she spent her afternoons volunteering for who-knew-what local charity. ""Who'd you tell? Because I'm going to hunt him down and kill him."

  "Who are we hunting down?" I jumped when Navi appeared at my shoulder. The smell of her lilac lotion hit me like some big sledgehammer. It was the same lotion she'd worn when we were together. Because I'd given it to her. Lilacs were her favorite flower.

  I nearly drowned in memories. That smell. Her hands on my face, running through my hair. Pulling me closer.

  "No one," Konstanz said, plastering a sweet smile across her scowl while I struggled for air. "How's the party?"

  "Fine." Navi eyed us before holding out her empty Pepsi can. "Recycle bin?"

  How could one girl be so damn adorable? I motioned with my head. "Under the sink." Yeah, I'd purposely not taken it from her so she had to slide past me to throw it away herself. So I could feel her skin brushing mine. And so I could protect her from Bryson.

  He showed up seconds later. "Damn, Navi, I'm so sorry. I didn't realize you needed a refill." He rubbed the back of his neck like he'd made some huge mistake that she would never get over.

  She shook her head, big eyes wide. "No, you're fine. I just needed a breather. Too many people over there."

  "Right. You need somewhere quieter? We can head to my room." He grinned, like a cat. I looked, panicked, from Bryson to Navi and back again.

  "No. Thanks though. I'm fine." She leaned back against the sink and crossed her arms, planting those six inch heels in my laminate flooring. Feisty little thing. That, I hadn't forgotten, and I fought to hide a grin.

  Bryson looked crushed.

  "I think they're ready for a genre change." I motioned toward his stereo and the eight gazillion CDs tha
t were currently on display. People were touching them. Touching his precious music. Josh, actually, led them. Which didn't surprise me and made me forgive him for his earlier attempt to cause me problems. As Bryson yelped and hurried across the room, Josh met my eye and I nodded my thanks.

  "So my roommate has a thing for you." I turned on her, wanting to see her reaction.

  "Your roommate is a player. He has a thing for a lot of girls."

  I shook my head, "No he doesn't. It's an act." There ya go, Bryson. Don't say I never gave you anything.

  Navi watched Bryson wander through the room, being a good little host, and I wanted her to watch me. I wanted those dark eyes on me, not him. She raised a hand to tuck her silky hair behind her ear and for the first time, I noticed the tattoo on her wrist. I caught her arm, tugging her toward me. Her eyes widened and she sucked in a breath, but she took baby steps closer. "This is new," I said.

  Her smile shook. "If by new, you mean two years old, then yes. Yes it is."

  I twisted her hand around, trying to see it clearly and pretended that the mere touch of her skin didn't send hot waves of electricity pounding through my blood. Some things never change. "What is it?"

  She pulled her hand out of my grasp, studying her own tattoo like she'd never seen it before. "It's a phoenix."

  I nodded. "Fitting."

  She smiled faintly but didn't answer.

  "Navi, we can't decide on our next playlist. We need your opinion," Bryson reappeared and I resisted the urge to hit him. Again. I hate her. Remember what she did. Remember how bad she hurt me. But as Navi slid past me, peeking at me through her lashes, I knew I didn't hate her. Not even close. Despite what she'd done to me, it didn't matter now. Maybe it never had. And watching her walk away, even if it was just across the room, felt like someone had punched me in the stomach with a unicorn.

  "K? Need your help here." She grabbed Konstanz's wrist with grip of iron Konstanz apparently couldn't escape from. They both disappeared into the crowd.

  Josh reappeared at the bar, settling onto a stool. "You're watching her like we don't want her to die anymore."