by Lucy Ivey
“Justin,” I gasped putting my hands against his shoulders and gently pushing his body off mine. “I think someone’s here.”
And with that, there was a knock at the door.
“Karley?”
The voice was not only deep but uninterested.
Joe.
“Justin.” My whisper was almost mute. He heard and reacted immediately to his brother’s call. Justin opened the door with one hand still holding my body in place against the wall with the other.
“We’ll be down in a minute.”
“Now!” Joe commanded.
Justin gently shut the door as Joe’s footsteps were becoming quieter walking away. Justin leaned in to kiss me again.
“Did you tell him about us?”
“He knows.”
His indifferent reply confused me. I wanted to know what he thought about it, although I knew he would disapprove. I just wanted to know why. I couldn’t make the mistake again of being too concerned about Joe in front of his brother.
“Do you think he’ll say anything to your dad?”
“No. He’ll keep my secret.”
“Do you think he’ll say anything to my mom?”
“No.”
He seemed agitated again.
“Maybe we should go downstairs,” I said fixing my shirt.
“Don’t you want me to kiss you anymore?”
He looked more beautiful than ever. More frustrated. And more like his brother than ever.
“Of course I do,” I said kissing his chin. “But I think we should go downstairs before the next knock at my door is your dad … or worse, my mom!”
His smile was insincere. He was disappointed in my answer.
During dinner, Joe seemed a little less irritable than usual although most of the conversation was about me and how well I was adjusting to life in Vail.
“One of her friends had to drive her home today because I was running late again,” my mother said, guilt plaguing her voice. “He had to wait with her another time I was running late, too.”
Justin stared at me from across the table. He didn’t like hearing that today wasn’t the first day I’d spent time alone with Ryan.
“He must think I’m a horrible mother,” she continued clueless to the trouble she was recreating between me and Justin.
“Maybe he likes her,” Bill suggested with a wink. “It’s the Davis kid, right? His dad is the head of maintenance at the resort? Ryan will be taking over the company in a few years according to his dad.”
I had to rip my stare away from Justin when I heard my mother call out my name.
“What?”
“Is Ryan’s last name Davis?”
“Yeah. His dad does maintenance for the resort,” I said not realizing I was repeating Bill’s words.
Bill looked at me and then at Justin. Justin met his father’s stare as he took a drink of wine.
Bill was a smart man.
It wouldn’t take long for him to figure out something was going on right under his nose. His stare proved he already had. He did not approve.
I felt like an outsider again, especially when I looked at Joe.
The same arrogance and annoyance he always had in his eyes whenever he looked at me or spoke to me was there, but so was anger.
Could he really be that mad at me for caring about his brother?
Maybe he was angry about something else tonight … but the only thing we talked about was how well I was adjusting and my new friend, the Davis boy from the resort.
Like his father, he would not approve of what his brother was doing.
“Does anyone want dessert?” my mother interrupted. “Joe, I made your favorite! Lemon meringue.”
“No, thanks,” Joe said immediately, standing up from the table.
“Sit down!” Bill commanded sternly taking his eyes off Justin as he looked at Joe. “We’re all having dessert.”
Joe stared at his father for a moment before sitting back down in his chair.
“It’s okay, Bill,” my mother said quietly. “Everyone’s had a long day. We’re all tired—”
“No, Sandy,” Bill interrupted still eyeing his oldest son. “you worked really hard on this meal for our family. And we’re all gonna eat every goddamn last bite of it.”
Finally, she realized she had missed something that had been there all along.
She quietly dismissed herself. I quickly followed her into the kitchen.
“Please get out the saucers in that cabinet,” she whispered pointing across the kitchen. I watched her cutting the pie nervously.
“Why are you upset?” I asked walking over to her and taking the knife from her trembling hand.
“I just don’t want the boys to have a bad time while they’re here,” she whispered. “Something always seems to go wrong when they come to town.”
I turned toward the other room before handing my mother the saucers. It was easy to imagine how things would go wrong with Joe around.
“Here, Mom. Take these into the dining room and I’ll bring everything else,” I said ushering her out of the kitchen. “Go sit down.”
Justin walked in as she walked out.
“Is your mom okay?”
“She’s fine,” I lied without looking at him as I continued to cut the pie.
“Are you okay?”
He moved a fallen piece of my ponytailed hair behind my ear. I moved away.
“I don’t know.” I slammed the knife against the shiny granite counter. “Are you jealous I was hanging out with Ryan?”
I thought asking him the question would take him as off guard as it took me asking him. It didn’t. The smirk formed quickly on his lips. The idea of being jealous of anyone was ridiculous to him. Especially Ryan. His arrogant behavior reminded me of Joe.
I didn’t wait long for a response. He wasn’t going to answer me.
“You know what, Justin, I can’t do this.”
His arrogant expression disappeared.
“What?”
“It’s wrong. What we’re doing is wrong.”
His confident shoulders sank immediately. “Don’t say that,” he begged.
“Joe thinks so! Your dad obviously thinks so—”
“Fuck Joe! Who cares what he thinks?”
“You do!” Trying to control my whispering shouts shook my body.
His crystal eyes locked on mine. He wouldn’t disagree.
“Does your dad know?”
“No. He’s only assuming right now … I can tell him anything and he’ll believe me.”
I wanted that to be true. My hands started to shake like my mother’s had moments before. “I don’t know. I’m really nervous.”
“Karley? “Do you wanna be with me?” He was waiting for me to look at him. “If you don’t, there’s no need to confess. I’ll deny it when he confronts me.”
The plan sounded easy for him.
He squared his body in front of mine.
“But if you do wanna be with me, I have to tell him.” His eyes were pleading. “Please say you want me to tell him.”
I didn’t like the secret we were keeping. I nodded my head slowly. His light eyes lit to a bright blue before quickly kissing the top of my forehead. He didn’t like the secret either. He grabbed the steaming pot of coffee and smiled as he walked past me. I turned around and Joe was leaning against the door frame. He’d heard everything.
His stare hardened and his locked jaw clenched as he fixated on me.
This was the moment that defined his feelings for me. He wanted me to stay away from his brother. Whatever his reasoning, I no longer cared.
“Don’t you wanna know my feelings about his plan?”
I quickly wiped a tear from the corner of my eye.
“I didn’t think you had any feelings.”
We stared silently at each other. Hearts racing. The fucked-up game between us continuing.
“Here,” I said with my head still turned away from him, “take this to you
r dad.”
He didn’t say anything to me as he took the pie from my hands and walked away. I wiped my eye again, grabbed some forks from the drawer, and followed him into the dining room.
After dessert, I said good night to everyone and went to my room. I assumed Justin was trying to explain our relationship to his father. I didn’t know how Bill would react … or how my mother would react when she found out about us.
The one person I knew would be happy, I called. Marissa. Like every conversation I had with her before about Justin, she screamed with excitement for me and made me promise to text her every night with the latest developments in our relationship before we hung up. And then, I called Gray.
Even though I only met her a few days ago, I felt like we were friends and I could trust her. But I was still nervous to tell her about my relationship with Justin. I didn’t know who she would tell or how she would feel, but, like Marissa, she was excited—not only for the happiness she felt for me but for the potential she thought now existed for her to get closer to Joe after years of trying.
When she mentioned his name, thoughts of him raced through my mind. I wondered where he was right now and what he was doing. Would he accept my relationship with his brother? Did he even care that I was crying at dinner tonight? Would he apologize to me again for upsetting me? Did I want him to come to my room again and apologize? I wanted him to apologize. I wanted to see him.
“Karley?”
I forgot I was still on the phone with her.
“Yeah?”
“I’ll see you at work tomorrow.” She laughed. “And try not to do anything tonight I wouldn’t do. Which, as you know, pathetically, isn’t a lot.”
She was still giggling when I hung up the phone. I wasn’t laughing. Thoughts of Joe continued to flood my mind. At the same time, I thought about Justin. He told me he would be right up. Was he talking to his father? I hoped he was telling him about us. Telling him that he wanted to be with me. He would want to talk to me about it, too. Of course, he would tell my mother and she would want to talk to me too, because she wouldn’t believe it. Not at first.
I sat on my bed and waited. Someone would come eventually—Justin, Bill, or my mother—to talk to me. The longer I waited I realized the only one who wouldn’t be coming for me tonight was Joe.
Hours later, I woke up to a light tapping at my door. I barely opened it wide enough to see Justin leaning his head against the frame on the other side.
“Can I come in?”
He took my hand from the knob and closed the door slowly behind him before I could answer. The moon was the only source of light in my room and it shone gently against his perfect face. His bright eyes penetrated through the darkness as he stepped toward me.
“I know it’s late,” he whispered.
“It’s okay.” I wondered what time it was. “Is everyone asleep?”
“Yes.”
“What did your dad say?”
“He was busy. I’ll tell him tomorrow.”
“Where have you been?”
“With Joe.”
I tucked my chin toward my chest. I was disappointed. Not only that he had chosen his brother over me again—they had no secrets—but that he didn’t get a chance to tell his father about us.
“Look at me.”
I slowly lifted my head and tried looking in his eyes again. I couldn’t. Whenever I saw him looking at me the way he was right now, my entire body heated with a pulsing warmth.
Like his eyes, his shirtless body was illuminated by the moonlight. I wanted to reach out and touch him but the nervousness was paralyzing my body.
“Look at me.”
He placed his hand under my chin, and I lifted my eyes to meet his. His eyes focused on mine as he moved his hand from under my chin and traced the lining of my jaw to the hair resting on my shoulder. He moved my hair back with one gentle push and leaned in to kiss my neck.
Everywhere his lips touched, my body tingled.
I closed my eyes and started breathing again. His hands moved down the front of my shirt as he unbuttoned it. When it fell to the floor I opened my eyes. He leaned his body forward as he took the strap of my bra between his fingers and pulled it down, allowing his lips to kiss my shoulder softly, uninterrupted.
“Justin,” I whispered between breaths.
He didn’t stop until I covered my face in my hands.
“What’s wrong?”
“I’ve never done this before,” I confessed. My confession surprised him.
“You haven’t?” I moved my head in quick movements from side to side. “Why didn’t you tell me? We’ve been talking every night for weeks now? And a few nights ago … you looked like you’d done that before.”
“Are you mad?”
He looked confused at my question.
“No. Why would I be mad?” He bent forward and kissed my lips. “I guess everyone has secrets.”
I silently agreed.
“I just … I don’t … I want to … but I’m not sure if I’m ready yet. I’m sorry.”
“We don’t have to do this,” he said taking my face into his hands again and forcing me to look him in the eyes. “I want you to be ready.”
He lifted the strap back onto my shoulder and kneeled beside me. He picked up my shirt and put my arms through the sleeves one by one. He buttoned the middle button back and pulled me into his arms.
He would wait until the moment was right.
Chapter 9
Thicker Than Water
In the morning, my mother woke me before the sun was fully up in the sky to tell me she and Bill had to go to work early for one of his meetings and that I needed to ride to work with the boys. I didn’t mind.
After she hurried out of my bedroom, I pulled the covers over my head and thought about falling back asleep for another hour. Instead, I stretched my legs as far as I could in front of me and threw the covers off my body, forcing myself to get up.
The house was eerily quiet. I walked downstairs and into the kitchen. That’s when I saw him, muttering cuss words at the coffeepot in front of him and demanding it to work. I tiptoed up behind his shirtless body, put my arms around his waist, and kissed his back. His body tightened under my lips and he slowly straightened.
“Good morning,” I whispered closing my eyes and moving my lips to his side. He turned to face me, allowing me to hold his hands in mine as I moved my head around to his chest. The rapid pounding of his heart excited me as I continued kissing up his neck until I reached his lips.
When I opened my eyes, I was face-to-face with Joe.
Startled, I let go of his hands and took a step back.
His icy blue stare was chilling.
“Why didn’t you say something?” I asked quietly.
“You seemed to be enjoying yourself,” he smirked sarcastically.
Watching the smugness creep over his face changed my embarrassment into anger. I wanted to cry but refused to give him the satisfaction of witnessing it.
“You’re a jerk.” I stormed out of the kitchen as quickly as I could and immediately felt the rush of hot tears streaming down my face.
I ran back up the stairs and slammed my bedroom door shut. Pacing back and forth, I was furious. Everything everyone from work said about Joe was true. He was a jerk and he was weird. Losing his mother and his girlfriend gave him no right to treat everyone else like shit.
And in that moment, I realized I hated him as much as he hated me.
I didn’t want to be around him without Justin. I waited as long as I could before walking back downstairs. When I walked out of my room, Justin’s door was still shut and I wasn’t sure if he was awake or not. I walked over to his door and knocked.
“He’s already gone.”
I turned around quickly and saw Joe standing a few feet behind me.
“He left with our parents this morning,” he informed me matter-of-factly. “I’m supposed to drive you to work.”
We’d been alone in the
house the entire morning. My stomach dropped knowing he knew that earlier when I was kissing him. Had he wanted it to happen?
Without saying a word, I followed him down the stairs and out the front door. He walked over to the passenger door and unlocked it for me. Surprisingly, he opened it and waited for me to get inside. I climbed inside the truck expecting him to slam the door shut. He didn’t. It was a calm close. He walked around the front of the truck with his head down. He didn’t say anything as he got inside and started the truck. After a few seconds, he spoke.
“I should have warmed it up for you.”
“I’m fine,” I grumbled putting on my seat belt and sitting as far away from him as possible.
He seemed to want to say something else but he didn’t.
No words were spoken the entire ride to work.
My plan was to open the door and get out as soon as he put the truck in park. Preparing for my escape, I unbuckled my seat belt.
“Karley.”
“Don’t say anything to me,” I warned.
“Look, I know you’re pissed at me.”
My eyes filled with rage. I wanted him to know how angry I was with him not only for tricking me but taunting me afterward.
“Why would you do that?” I asked fighting back the loss of breath coming.
“I told you.”
“Told me what?”
His brow arched in mockery.
“You looked like you were enjoying yourself,” he said smirking again. “But don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone. I’m pretty good at keeping secrets.”
His arrogant expression caused even more rage inside me.
“Whatever, Joe,” I said scornfully, opening my door.
He grabbed my arm and pulled me back inside the cab.
“What are you doing?” I snapped. “Get off me!”
“What do you want me to say, Karley?” he asked still holding tightly to my arm. “I’m sorry?”
“Get off me!” I yanked my arm out of his grip, although I was sure he let go of me at the same time. He was strong and if he wanted to overpower me, he could do it easily. I sat next to him, staring in disbelief.
He said nothing for a few moments. Finally, he spoke.
“What? You can go now, or did you want to give me a kiss good-bye?”