by Lucy Ivey
Humiliation filled my body with his passive dismissal.
“You’re an asshole!”
“So I’ve been told.” He laughed.
I slammed the door and ran toward the resort.
By the time I got inside, I was out of breath. Tears were streaming down my cheeks and my face felt like it was on fire. I hated that I let him get to me the way he did.
It was all a game to him.
He enjoyed making people feel uncomfortable.
He enjoyed making me uncomfortable.
“What’s wrong with you?”
I jumped and spun around to the voice behind me.
“You look like you were trying to run for your life or something outside,” Gray teased.
“No. I’ve just had a really shitty morning.”
“Damn, that sucks,” she said rubbing my shoulder. “Well, I wish I could say it was going to get better but I doubt it.”
“Why?”
“Three people called in sick this morning and I think everyone in town decided to hit the slopes today. So we’re gonna be really, really busy.”
“Good,” I said wiping my face. “I need to get my mind off things.”
“Hey, if you need to talk we can take lunch together,” she said putting her hand on my shoulder again.
“Thanks. I’m sure I’ll be all right by then.”
“Well, maybe I’ll eat lunch with you anyway.” She giggled. “And your brothers!”
She exploded with the same excitement that she had last night and it made me smile. I stayed behind after she walked away, wondering if I should tell Justin about what happened this morning with Joe.
Joe wouldn’t say anything. He would wait to see how I played things out with him.
If Justin found out, he would be upset and angry with his brother. I didn’t want that. He always heard so many negative things about Joe. Although I could see now that those things were true, I wanted no part of it.
Joe was important to Justin.
Nothing would come between them.
I decided not to say anything, act like nothing happened, keep my distance from Joe, and make sure nothing happened between us again.
Busy was an understatement for how crazy it was at work. It was my first official day after training and I had no idea what I was doing. I missed my first break but clocked out when Justin told me to so we could have lunch together.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there this morning when you woke up,” he said reaching over the table for my hand.
Everyone seemed to be taking notice of us sitting together or holding hands.
“It’s okay,” I said taking a drink of my diet soda.
He noticed I kept looking around the food court and squeezed my hand a little tighter.
“Are you okay with me holding your hand?”
“I … what if your dad walks by? Or my mom?”
“I’ll let go if you want me to.”
He started to release his hand, but I pulled it toward me.
“I don’t want you to go, but I don’t want my mom walking up and finding out like this.”
“They work in the other building,” he said looking at me with confused eyes. “Is there someone else you don’t want to see us holding hands?”
“What? No.”
That was kind of a lie. Ryan and Gray knew I was Bill’s stepdaughter, but only Gray knew about me and Justin. I wondered how Ryan would take the news.
“Are you sure?”
He seemed agitated. He let go of my hand and leaned back against his chair.
“I’ve only told Gray about us.”
“Not your friend Ryan?”
He was thinking about him, too.
“No,” I whispered.
“Why haven’t you told him that I am your boyfriend?”
His intense stare reminded me of Joe.
I smiled facetiously.
“Is that what you are?”
He was offended. “Well, that’s what I thought I was. Maybe not. Maybe I’m the one that doesn’t know what’s really going on here?”
I giggled causing him more agitation.
“How do you know I want to be your girlfriend?” I asked playfully. He finally understood what I was doing. The tightness in his face relaxed and he decided to play along.
“You seemed like you wanted it the other night.”
“I did,” I whispered again, still smiling.
“I thought I made you happy.”
“You do.”
“I thought you would want people to know about us.”
“I do.” There was still hurt in his eyes. “Justin, you do make me happy. I didn’t say anything because I didn’t know what was going on between us and because of the fact that we’re … I mean people might think it’s weird because of our parents.”
He kissed my hand gently, seductively between my index and middle fingers. My crossed legs tightened under the table.
“I don’t care what anybody thinks. I want everyone to know.”
“You do?”
“Yes! Then all of these damn assholes flirting with you will leave you alone because they’ll know you belong to me.”
Justin raised our hands up in the sky.
“She’s mine, assholes!”
“Stop.” I laughed jerking our hands back down on the table.
“What? Do you think we should let them find out another way?”
“Maybe in a way that is a little more inconspicuous.”
“Inconspicuous? That I can definitely be,” he teased. His eyes passed me and his smile widened. “Hey, Joe.”
My stomach tightened. I didn’t want to turn around. I didn’t want to face him. I didn’t know how I would react. But I had no choice.
“I thought you said you wouldn’t be able to get away for lunch,” Justin said to his brother.
“Yeah, well here I am,” Joe said popping his straw into his cup. As he took a drink, he stared at me. The intensity of his stare was too much.
“So, have you two gone public?” Joe asked as I turned my head back to face him.
“What?”
He answered my question by pointing to our hands, still locked together.
Justin squeezed my hand tighter.
“No. I tried but Karley thinks we should be a bit more inconspicuous,” he said smiling at me and then his brother.
“Really? That’s more my talent than it is yours,” Joe said looking back at his brother with an arched eyebrow as if the two of them had some little secret between them. “I don’t know,” he continued. “Maybe you should just give her a kiss. I bet she’d like that.”
I felt like a volcano. The hate I felt inside for him was so great I wanted to explode.
“That’s not a bad idea.” Justin laughed.
Joe was proud of himself while Justin remained clueless to the implication of his brother’s subtle remark. At that moment, Gray walked up to our table.
“Hi, Gray,” I said still looking at Joe.
“Can I sit with you guys?” she asked already setting her tray down next to mine.
“Sure,” Justin said. “It’s nice to see you again, Gray.”
“You, too,” she said looking over at me and smiling.
I couldn’t help but smile. Her desperate move had more courage behind it than she realized. She had no idea what she was getting herself into wanting to be close to Joe.
“You know Joe,” I said, looking back at him happily taking another bite of soup.
“I’m not sure if we have officially met,” she said putting her hand out for his to shake.
“Well, if that’s true that’s probably a good thing,” I blurted out.
Joe almost choked on his food.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that.” I looked at Justin with wide eyes, hoping he wasn’t upset with my comment. His face began to sour until once again, Joe saved me.
“No, it’s okay,” he said laughing, reaching for Gray’s hand. “No doubt, it’s
true.”
His smile to her was the first time since the night at the bar that I’d seen him look happy. His lips wrapped perfectly around his teeth and the dimples at the sides of his mouth were deep. His eyes seemed to sparkle as he continued to smile, even when they focused back on me. He let his guard down and the smile he was giving was fearless. Any girl would find him attractive. Especially if he looked at her the way he was looking at me right now.
His smile was infectious. Features flawless. Sexy.
Gray thought so, too.
So this was how he got any girl he wanted. By doing exactly what he was doing right now. Looking at them the way he was looking at me and making them want him too before he made his move.
The pace at work didn’t slow down for the rest of the day, and Sarah left me alone several times behind the counter with customers still waiting for their orders. I was totally exhausted and still had four hours until my shift ended.
I had to take a break.
I waited for Justin as long as I could but he never came inside from the slopes. Hopefully, Gray would be taking a break soon, too. I needed someone to talk to right now.
Over the blinding white blanket of snow, I immediately saw his neon-green beanie at the bottom of the bunny slopes. He was instructing a circle of girls. No doubt college students from out of town. And they all seemed to be enjoying his lesson.
I continued to watch the girls smiling at one another and playfully raising their hands when he must have asked for someone to be his volunteer, before one of them bounced her perfect snowsuited body over to him.
I watched the girls laughing as they looked at each other any time Justin’s hands were on their hips, adjusting their bodies into the proper form. Their flirtatious movements next to him were all too familiar reminding me of our day on the slopes together. I turned away. When I did, I saw Joe standing behind me.
“Did you think you were the only one?”
“Excuse me?” I asked immediately raising my guard against him.
“I said, ‘Did you think you were the only one?’ There have been others. Many others.”
“Many other what, Joe?”
He didn’t answer.
His whimsical smile proved we both knew he was right. I thought I was the only one. It was foolish on my part. I hated that his stare reminded me of that fact.
“Looks like he’s having a good time,” he said sarcastically pretending to be interested in his brother’s instruction.
“Yeah, well, that’s his job, right? To make every girl think she’s the only one.” I sounded totally pissed. Like a heartbroken, jealous little girl. I didn’t have to look at him to know he was thinking the same thing. I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of thinking he was causing me pain. “We all have secrets, right?”
He was intrigued by my words.
“Yes we do,” he replied.
I wanted to roll my eyes and walk away. My stubbornness wouldn’t allow me. Or maybe it was his demanding, blazing irises holding me in place. Whatever the reason—although I was sure it was more the latter—I waited in front of him to defend myself once again while he stared at me. But the silence between us and the softening of his eyes revealed there was no need to defend myself against him. Not anymore. Whatever his initial plan with me, he was reconsidering it. His confident stare was full—no longer hollow—and the few moments I was under it felt like an eternity until he finally seemed satisfied with the decision he had made.
His perfectly clean-shaven square jaw unlocked slowly, allowing the left corner of his plump lips to begin the formation of a perfect smile. The same effortless, beautiful smile I had seen him give to Gray and the beautiful brunette at the bar. It was irresistible.
“I’m sorry about this morning.”
Words I didn’t expect him to say, but they were words I needed to hear from him—to know he wasn’t the monster I thought he was since meeting him.
My shoulders relaxed and I released a breath.
He noticed.
“Would you like to get a cup of coffee with me?”
His invite was as unexpected as the tenderness in his voice.
I wasn’t sure why he had the sudden change of mood with me—his sudden change in plan—but I did know if I asked him, he wouldn’t tell me. And if by chance he wasn’t being sincere with me—that this was still a game between us—there was no way I was going to ask him and give him the satisfaction of not telling me. No. Instead, I would allow the unanswered question to burn inside me. The flames inside me rose higher and burned hotter the longer he gazed into my eyes waiting for my reply. The flames I felt for him were not fueled by my anger toward him. I looked away not wanting him to see the smile he put on my face.
“Uh-uh, Karley,” he said gently touching my chin and bringing my face back to meet his. “Don’t do that. I may think you like me and then what am I gonna do? I might want to keep you around.”
His bright eyes silently pleaded as he repeated his request sincerely, “Have a cup of coffee with me.” His words were flirtatious. Purposeful.
The rising, scorching flames were unbearable. I needed an answer—game or no game.
“Why are you being so nice to me? I mean, why now?”
He moved a piece of my hair behind my ear, ever so gently brushing my skin with the tip of his finger. My body tightened under his brief, feather-like touch.
“Justin wants you. I need to let him have you.”
His words echoed inside my head, I need to let him have you.
What did that mean?
I didn’t know.
“But don’t worry. I won’t be too far away. I’ll always be watching over him … and you.” My heart began to race. My breaths were heavy and quick. I had never seen anyone more beautiful. Not even his brother.
“Why me?”
His luscious lips curled as he leaned closer to me to whisper his answer.
“I’m the one who can make sure nothing bad happens to you.”
I can’t explain it but I believed him. So, I accepted his invitations—to be my protector and to have coffee with him.
“Okay.”
He leaned his mouth to my ear and whispered, “Good girl.”
Everything inside me warmed and loosened. Letting him in would be easy now.
Once again, he took notice. This is what he was good at, and fighting against it—against him—was something I no longer wanted.
His hand reached out for mine and I allowed him to lead me through the crowd toward an empty table.
Nervously, I waited there watching him make his way effortlessly back through the sea of people. He seemed unaware of the stares of women and girls alike following him as he made his way toward the concession stand. Or maybe he was simply unaffected by their silent desires for him.
Sarah noticed him right away and called him to the front of the line with a seductive smile spreading across her red lips. She reached across the counter and touched his hand with the tips of her freshly manicured nails and he didn’t move away. Instead, he leaned his lips closer to her. I watched as her flirtatious smile slowly faded as she listened to his whisper. Her disbelieving eyes found me across the lobby. Once again full of hate, she rolled them and walked away toward the coffeepot, yanking two paper cups out of the holder.
“She really doesn’t like me, does she?” I asked when he handed me the steaming cup. “But she seems to like you a lot.”
“She doesn’t matter,” he said matter-of-factly locking his sapphire eyes on mine.
Unlike the times before, his stare was kind.
I took a small sip of coffee, trying not to focus on the stares still on him from the giggling girls and gawking women around the room.
“I really am sorry about this morning.” His attention was only on me. None of the other women mattered. It felt nice knowing I mattered to him when everyone else didn’t. At least in this moment. Like the attention, his apology was unexpected.
“Me, too,” I confessed
from behind my cup hoping it would provide coverage from the embarrassment in my voice. He didn’t believe the façade of confidence I was trying to give him. It made him smile. I forced myself to take another sip of coffee looking away from him shyly.
“Are you sure?”
The slight humor in his question made me look back at him immediately. The smile on his face was slowly spreading. Instantly, we both let out a laugh. His smile was such a gorgeous feature on his face. But it was his eyes and the way he was looking at me right now that made me unable to look away from him.
Something was happening between us. Something I hadn’t expected and didn’t know that I had wanted. Until now.
“Are you happy here?” he asked.
This was going to be our first conversation without argument, without alcohol, without walls, and until now, I didn’t realize how badly I had wanted this moment to happen.
“It’s different.”
I met his stare, unsure if I could trust him.
“Tell me how it’s different.”
His eyes were set on mine. His body was relaxed. His guard was down. I wanted to trust him.
“Everything’s different.”
I wanted to tell him how I still cried every night when I was at school because I missed my mom. And how I didn’t have many friends at college because trusting people was something I struggled with after she left my dad and me. I wanted to tell him how I missed my dad and how he said he thought the two of us might have a lot in common. I wanted to tell him about not wanting to fight with him anymore, and whatever it was that made him so angry with me, I wanted to fix. I think he would have wanted to hear all of those things, but as I was about to talk I watched his beautiful blue eyes grow cold at the sound of a familiar voice behind me.
“I can’t make it to one break and you let another guy come between us. My brother, no less,” Justin teased. He sat beside me and kissed the side of my head.
Joe looked coldly at his brother and spoke as if I was no longer at the table.
“Well, you looked like you were having fun, so I thought why not me too, and Karley happened to be the closest girl around.”
I was stunned by his comment. Hurt. He didn’t care.
“Yeah, well, I know you’re loyal,” Justin said reaching across the table and playfully slapping his brother’s shoulder.