Stepbrother: The Game He Plays

by Lucy Ivey

  I stopped walking up the stairs and turned around. His arms were stretched out to where his hands were holding both sides of the staircase railing. He looked seductive smiling below me. So, today he is going to play the role of asshole, I thought to myself. I didn’t care. I was getting used to the two sides of him—actually, I was starting to enjoy it. I took the steps I had just walked up back down and stopped when my face was only inches from his face.

  “Are you suggesting something?”

  He took a step forward, making his height level with mine.

  “I’m just letting you know I’m here if you need me,” he encouraged me as he smiled even more seductively.

  His warm breath kissed my face. He wanted it to be this way between us. Flirtatious. Curious. Confidential. He didn’t want anyone to see this side of our relationship.

  I would play his game. My way.

  “No thanks.” I turned around, allowing the tip of my ponytail to clip his nose. He chuckled softly. He would only play it his way.

  “What?” I demanded whipping back around to face him. “Why are you laughing?”

  “No reason,” he confessed letting go of the railing. “I guess I thought you might need someone to talk to. Isn’t that what you told me the night you saw me upset after I had an argument with my dad?”

  Why did I let him get to me? Why couldn’t I just walk away from him? I needed to hurt him the way he was trying to hurt me right now.

  “Well, I can always talk to your brother about it,” I whispered leaning toward him—my lips barely missing his as I spoke.

  “Are you sure he’s the one you should be trusting?”

  I hated the way everything he said made me second-guess my thoughts. My lungs filled quickly but I held my breath to control my breathing.

  “Well, lucky for me I didn’t have an argument with my dad, so you and I don’t need to talk.”

  He stepped back a stair and smiled, “Oh, so she didn’t tell you?”

  Confusion struck. So did curiosity.

  “Tell me what?”

  “Never mind. I shouldn’t be the one to tell you. Maybe you should ask Justin … or better yet, maybe you should go ask your mom.”

  “Ask her what?”

  He started walking back down the stairs, leaving my question unanswered. I was past the point of frustration. I was now angry. I followed him into the kitchen.

  “You’re crazy!” I shouted. He spun quickly and stepped forward, inches from my face.

  “Don’t call me that,” he demanded in a stern voice.

  “What? Crazy?” I asked pushing myself up on my toes to meet his enraged stare.

  “I said, ‘don’t call me that,’” he warned again.

  “Well, you’re not making any sense. Tell me what in the hell you’re talking about and maybe I won’t think that you’re crazy!”

  He said nothing. His chest moved up and down without control. I didn’t care. It was the first time I’d seen him lose his cool. I liked it. I would encourage it.

  “Well?”

  His jaw was locked tight and his hands were fisted to his sides. He was struggling. I pushed him further with my condescending words.

  “Nothing? For the first time you don’t have anything to say?” I mocked. I lowered myself back on my heels away from him. My chest was heaving trying to control my anger toward him.

  “Leave me alone, Joe. I’m done with you being nice to me one minute and then a complete asshole to me the next. You’re playing this little mind game and it’s getting really old.”

  Instantly, he was calm again and a small beautiful smile swept across his face.

  “Maybe—just maybe—I’m not the one playing games with you,” he whispered.

  He took a step closer. My breathing slowed. My eyes focused on the V-neck of his white T-shirt. It revealed the smooth skin of his chest and the calm beating of his heart under it. His head slightly tilted to one side as he moved in closer toward me.

  “Karley? What’s going on?”

  I turned to see my mother standing in the doorway of the kitchen.

  “Nothing.”

  She saw Joe only inches away from me. Concern filled her face.

  “Is everything okay?”

  “Everything’s fine,” I muttered pushing my way past Joe.

  “I was getting ready to tell Karley how you and Dad met,” he said.

  “What?” I spun back toward him quickly.

  She was immediately uncomfortable by his words. “Oh?”

  “What are you talking about?” I said. He refused to answer me. “Mom, he’s nuts! What in the hell is he talking about?”

  “Um, I’m not sure exactly,” she said in a quiet voice.

  “You know, Sandy.” He was talking to her but staring at me. “How you had already filed for divorce when you met my dad. I don’t think Karley knows the whole story. I know you tried to tell her the other day but she’s still a little vague on the details.”

  “Joe?” my mother whispered looking up at him and then over at me.

  “Tell me what in the hell is he talking about?”

  All of my attention was focused on her. He wanted it that way, away from him.

  Her eyes filled with tears and her voice quivered. “Honey, I think we need to talk. Let’s go into the living room.”

  “No!” I said firmly. “Tell me here. Now.”

  He crossed his arms and waited for her to answer me. His upper lip quivered with impatience. She cowered next to him before turning to me.

  “Honey, your dad and I were having problems before I started working at the hotel. That’s why I got a job, because we had already decided we were going to divorce. I needed to start supporting myself. Then I met Bill. Not before. Honey, it happened so fast.”

  “What? Why?” My own voice quivered. “It was because of the money right? Because dad lost his job? That’s why you were getting a divorce, because we didn’t have money anymore, right?”

  “No. Honey, please. Let’s go somewhere.”

  “Dammit! Tell me!” I demanded.

  She jumped and put her hands up near her mouth as she spoke. From the corner of my eye, Joe looked uneasy.

  “Your dad … he … had an affair with someone and he told me about it. I told him I was leaving him, but I didn’t have the money to leave and get a place for you and me … so I got a job … at the hotel … so I could save some money … and—”

  My head began to spin. The ground released beneath me. I leaned against the counter to avoid falling until my eyes refocused.

  “You’re lying!” I accused her closing my eyes. “You’re lying!”

  “No, honey … I’m not,” she cried. “We didn’t want to tell you … I didn’t want to tell you … you were so young … I didn’t think you would understand.”

  “I was sixteen!” I shouted. My scream burned my throat. She said nothing standing in front of me. Tears pouring out of her sorrowful eyes. I unclenched my shaking fisted hands at my sides.

  “No! You’re lying! You left us!” I raised my arms out to my sides. “You chose to leave us … for this!”

  “No.”

  She stepped toward me. I took a step back.

  “Don’t!” I said putting my hand up to stop her. My eyes never left hers, but Joe understood I was talking to both of them. “Don’t come near me.”

  I barely made it to my room before collapsing on my bed.

  I had never hated her more than I hated her now.

  I woke up to Justin’s lips softly kissing my forehead. The tracks of the tears on my face were hard. My head felt like it had been beaten with a rock.

  “I don’t wanna talk about it,” I whispered scooting myself back against the headboard. The sun had already set and the moon was peeking out behind a dark cloud. I wasn’t sure how long I had been asleep.

  “Okay,” he said, scooting beside me.

  “I’m serious.”

  I rubbed the sides of my head, trying to relieve some o
f the pain.

  “Okay,” he repeated taking over the massaging of my temples.

  I leaned my head into his lap and allowed him to pull me into his arms. After a few minutes, I raised my head up slowly.

  “Did you know?”

  “Yes.”

  I wasn’t angry. Maybe because I knew that is what Joe wanted—for me to be angry with his brother so I would stay away from him. No way. But still, I wanted to know why he kept it from me.

  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “It wasn’t my secret to tell.”

  He was right.

  “I wish I had known the truth.”

  “Sometimes when you know the truth, it changes things.”

  It would have changed so many things if I had known what really happened between my parents. Would I have hated my mother still? No. Would I have hated my father instead? I couldn’t bear thinking about it.

  “Why would she take the blame? That doesn’t make sense.”

  He hesitated before he spoke.

  “Sometimes people do things that don’t make sense to protect the people they love. They can’t explain why they do it.”

  He would do it for Joe. Whatever his brother’s secret, he would protect him.

  Early the next morning, the house was silent. My head throbbed in pain from all the crying and lack of sleep. Coffee was the only cure to relieve the pain.

  I pressed the button of the new, single-serve maker and walked over to the cabinet for a cup. I listened to the immediate brewing of the coffee and smiled waiting for the peppermint aroma to fill the air. When I turned around, Joe was standing in the doorway.

  Our eyes held.

  His low voice broke the silence between us.

  “I guess I really fucked things up between us.”

  The tone of his voice was steady. It could have been easily mistaken for a question, a hope for forgiveness. I knew him well enough now to know, he wasn’t apologizing.

  “Nope.”

  “So you don’t hate me?”

  He patiently waited for me to finish stirring the creamer into my coffee.

  “No, I don’t hate you …”

  His perfect lips began forming a crooked smile on his face, a winning smile.

  “Actually,” I said as I walked up to him and allowed my eyes to wander across his bare chest, “I don’t feel anything for you.”

  He appreciated my lie.

  He took a step forward almost making me spill my coffee from the lack of space between us. He didn’t want things to be different between us. I didn’t either. Not yet.

  His slight brushing touch against my face was as gentle and haunting as his whisper back to me, “I don’t believe you. I know you must feel something for me.”

  I would spend the next few days hearing his voice repeating those words in my head, knowing he was right and wondering what I should do about it.

  Chapter 14

  The Taste of Whiskey

  It wasn’t hard avoiding Joe over the next few days. He and Justin were both working doubles at the resort giving snowboarding lessons to the heavy flow of holiday visitors so I barely saw him. With them not around at the house—and Sarah not showing up for work—I volunteered to take her shifts. The extra shifts made my days long, but my nights were longer.

  For the past three nights, Justin wasn’t coming to my room. He was acting differently. Distant. I wanted to ask him his reason. At the same time, I didn’t want to seem desperate. I’d already fallen apart on him when I found out about my dad, and I didn’t want him to think I was completely fragile and incapable of handling myself. Tonight, my restless mind was accompanied by a grumbling stomach. Maybe food would take my mind off him and help me fall asleep.

  I stepped out of my room and took a quick glance in the direction of the boys’ bedrooms. Both of their doors were shut. I thought about knocking on Justin’s but decided against. Instead, I started down the dark stairs of the house. My mother usually left a nightlight burning in the kitchen to help guide us. Not tonight. Everything about the night was eerie, making my steps slower and softer until I reached the bottom.

  When I reached the kitchen, I turned on the nightlight. The house’s glass windows revealed a lightless night on the other side. I walked closer to get a better view of the evergreens outlining the lining of the property to the forest. The only source of life within the forest ahead was the movement of an unknown creature scurrying across a branch. A squirrel no doubt. I watched the long thin branch wobble under its weight—causing me not to notice someone walking up behind me. His shadow reflected off the glass from the glow of the nightlight. I spun around and stared into the rings of his burning blue irises.

  “What the hell are you doing?” I whispered breathlessly. “You scared the shit out of me! What are you doing up?”

  He was shirtless again—just as he was when I first met him—and giving me the same stare. Unconcerned that he’d caused me fear.

  “I couldn’t sleep.”

  “Me either,” I said as if he was conversing with me. He wasn’t. Joe’s set eyes didn’t release their stare. Their paralyzing hold on me. I looked away nervously feeling the beating of my heart quicken again and my body beginning to warm. I slowly released my caught breath and looked back at him.

  “How did you know I was awake too?”

  The corner of his lip curled up. “Would you believe me if I said I didn’t?”

  I didn’t believe him.

  “No,” I whispered.

  The corner of his smile rose higher. My answer pleased him.

  The definition in his stomach was like a magnet for my stare. The throbbing between my thighs pulsed with its slow rhythmic movement. The small step forward he took sucked the air from my lungs. I couldn’t breathe if I wanted to now. I didn’t. I didn’t want to move an inch, especially an inch away from him.

  He reached his hand to my face and softly brushed the tip of his finger down my cheek until his hand was loosely wrapped around my neck. We’d been here before but had been interrupted. Unlike that night, he wasn’t drunk. This was the real him. He couldn’t deny it anymore. I waited for him to pull me closer. He didn’t. Like that night, he was testing my resistance. Maybe he was testing his own.

  I didn’t know about his, but mine was fading fast.

  The grip of his hand tightened and he pulled me closer. He pressed his soft lips against my forehead and they remained there for a moment. I breathed in his sigh and watched him slowly walk away. Whatever it was that I was doing to him, he wouldn’t be able to resist much longer.

  The strapless cranberry dress fit snuggly against my body. My mother told me it brought out the caramel of my eyes. Even if I didn’t agree with her—which I did—I would have lied. I was no longer upset with her. How could I be? What had she done other than try to protect me? I thought I should’ve shifted my anger toward my father but I couldn’t do that either. There was no reason to be angry anymore. I was happy. She was happy. And I knew my dad would find happiness again one day. I had to let go of all the negativity I had been harboring for so long. Including the anger I had toward Joe. It was gone. The curiosity was there again. In a different way. In a way I wanted to explore further.

  She’d told me I looked beautiful.

  I believed her.

  Justin said the same thing.

  I believed him, too.

  His whisper burned my ear from behind when he’d told me. His warm breath against my skin sent a wave of chills across my neck. At least, I thought it was his breath. It may have been the way his brother stared at me with hungry eyes from across the room that left me silently begging for him to tell me too.

  He didn’t say anything. He could only stare. And that said everything.

  The entire drive to the resort, Justin played with my dangling earrings while his brother drove. The tips of his fingers gently tickled my neck. He told me how beautiful I looked over and over again and how he loved when I wore my hair up revealing the l
ong length of my neck.

  Joe’s struggling and continuously adjusting his body in the seat, closing his eyes slowly or looking away from us out his window were obvious signs he was uncomfortable. I knew now, I had the power over him instead of the other way around.

  With each touch from Justin, my eyes met Joe’s in the rearview mirror. I let the pleasure of his brother’s touch show in my stare. His white-knuckled hands gripped the steering wheel the entire drive.

  Within minutes of our arriving at the resort and sitting at our table, Gray made her way over to us with Jessie and Beth. All three girls looked like they’d spent the entire day preparing for tonight. Their hair was perfect, their makeup flawless, and their dresses were tighter than mine.

  “Hi, Joe!” Gray giggled stopping just a few inches from his chair.

  He looked over at me and raised his eyebrows before standing up to greet her. His suit fit him perfectly. The emerald-green tie against his jet-black jacket made him look like he should be on the cover of a magazine instead of at a local party. His lean, muscular body bent slightly forward toward Gray and whatever he whispered in her ear made her blush the same color as her pink dress.

  I couldn’t breathe. Thankfully, Justin’s sweet voice interrupted my intrusive thoughts about with his brother with Gray.

  “Ladies, you look amazing,” he said smiling at them as they sat down at our table.

  “I love how the two of you look together,” Gray said smiling.

  I looked over at Justin, sitting as close to me as he could and smiled at him.

  “Yeah, we don’t look too bad together,” he agreed laughing.

  His dark-sapphire suit jacket made the color of his eyes brighter, and his infectious smile made it unable for any of the girls to take their eyes off him.

  “Have you seen anybody else yet?” Jessie asked adjusting the strap of her dark purple dress.

  “Not yet,” I said avoiding Joe’s direction. He was whispering something else into Gray’s ear, his lips barely avoiding her neck. Fucking asshole. Why was I letting him get to me? I had to focus. “Of course, we got here really early. I’m sure they’ll be coming soon.”