by Lucy Ivey
“Do you think Sarah will show up?” Beth asked looking over at Gray and Jessie.
“I don’t know. She hasn’t been to work in three days,” Jessie said still adjusting her dress. “Nobody knows where she is—dammit! This damn strap is starting to piss me off!”
“Maybe somebody should go to her house?” I suggested. Even though Sarah and I weren’t friends, I still hoped nothing bad happened to her.
“Ryan did. He said nobody answered. Besides, she has a reputation for not showing up to work—which is why she was put on probation by the manager.” Jessie continued struggling with her dress strap. “Hey! That’s probably why you were hired!”
“Here,” I said reaching over to her, “let me fix it.”
Although I enjoyed Sarah being gone, I thought it was odd that nobody seemed to be as worried about her not showing up for work as I was. But then again, it sounded like this behavior was normal for her.
“Who knows?” Gray said looking back over at Joe.
“Who cares?” he replied taking another drink of whatever the bartender made for him when we walked in.
His reply was cold and unnecessary. Of course, he meant it to sound that way. Gray was happy with it. In her mind, it was one less person to distract him from her tonight. She wanted all of his attention. I knew how she felt.
“So, is everybody still coming over to the house tonight?” Justin asked taking a drink of soda.
“Um, yeah, I think so,” I stuttered once again distracted by watching Joe smile at Gray.
Her face radiated with happiness from his attention.
“I think so,” Jessie repeated looking down at her shoulder.
“It’s fine,” Beth told her. “Don’t touch it … or make quick movements. Yeah, Justin, we’re coming.”
Jessie smiled, nodding her head slowly, following Beth’s advice not to touch her strap again or move quickly.
“I think everybody we told is planning on coming,” Gray said. “Oh, except Ryan. I’m not sure if he is coming or not.”
“I don’t think he is,” Beth said.
I looked down, knowing he wasn’t coming back to the house because of me and Justin. Even though it still bothered me that I hurt him, I thought his decision to not show up was the best one. I didn’t want any more drama. Although, if he knew the feelings I was starting to have for Justin’s brother—or what happened between us last night—I knew he would be more than angry.
“Are you okay?” Justin asked quietly.
“Yeah. Of course.”
He questioned my response with inquisitive eyes.
“Do you still want people to come over tonight?”
“Of course, I do. Why wouldn’t I?” I asked avoiding looking over at Joe.
“Well, I could think of a reason to say we shouldn’t have people over tonight.” His seductive grin made me smile. From the corner of my eye, I could see Joe was watching. Listening.
“Yeah, me, too,” I whispered loud enough for Joe to hear before leaning in toward his brother.
“How long do we have to stay here?” Joe asked interrupting the stare I was now sharing with his brother.
“I don’t know,” Justin answered looking over at Joe. “How long do you wanna stay?”
“I’m ready whenever you are,” he admitted starting on the second drink in front of him.
“Why do you want to leave, Joe?” I asked. “We just got here.”
He didn’t acknowledge my question as he emptied his glass.
I looked over at Justin and he shook his head, telling me silently to not let his brother’s behavior bother me. I was hurt. Angry. Mostly hurt. He was back to acting as if I didn’t matter. I understood—others were around. It still upset me.
“Go get another drink, Joe,” I muttered under my breath.
“Don’t mind if I do, Karley,” he said standing up and walking toward the bar. I refused to follow him with my eyes. But I wanted to. Desperately.
“This isn’t his thing,” Justin defended him. “He hates being in big crowds and getting dressed up.”
“Well … he looks amazing,” Gray said smiling at her two friends.
“Uh-huh!” Jessie said touching her strap again.
“Stop it!” Beth said jerking it up on her shoulder. “I’m gonna cut it off in a minute.”
“Hey, that’s a good idea! Let’s go find some scissors.”
The two girls got up and walked across the dance floor arm in arm.
“So,” Gray said quietly, “does Joe like me?”
Her face was full of hope.
“I … I think so.” I looked at Justin. “I mean he’s nice to you.”
Justin nodded his head once. He took another drink of soda. I wasn’t sure if he was answering her question or simply agreeing with me that his brother was nice to her.
“And he knows you like him,” I continued, searching for something positive to say about Joe.
“Yeah, but maybe he just wants to sleep with me?”
“What would be wrong with that?” Justin asked laughing. His words surprised me. He turned to Gray. “Would it stop you from flirting with him tonight?”
She quickly replied, “No!”
“Then, who cares if he likes you or not? We’ll be leaving soon. Have some fun.”
My chest tightened listening to his advice to her. The smile on his face disappeared when he saw the confusion and hurt in my eyes. Not for the reason he thought.
“You know that’s not what’s going on with us.”
“Really?” I asked, trying to hold back tears. “Sounds like you and your brother have the plan all worked out, Justin.”
I stood up from the table and Justin took my arm.
“Karley?”
I jerked out of his hold.
“I’m going to the bathroom. Don’t follow me.”
“Karley!”
I avoided his call. On the way to the bathroom I passed the bar. Joe was taking a shot of something and chasing it with a drink of something else. I rolled my eyes away from him as the first tears started to fall.
After a few minutes alone in the bathroom, my face looked normal again. I held back as many tears as I could, and my makeup was fixable. I didn’t want any signs that I had been crying. I didn’t want to talk about Joe anymore. I didn’t want to think about Joe anymore. But thoughts of him continued to fill my head.
I splashed more water on the back of my neck and stared at myself in the mirror. What was I doing? I wasn’t acting like myself! Why couldn’t I get him out of my head? Why couldn’t I stay away from him? I needed to before someone got hurt. Most likely, that someone would be me. I knew that. Neither brother would allow anyone to come between them. I didn’t want to. I didn’t know what I wanted anymore.
“Fuck, Karley, get your shit together,” I warned my reflection. After another moment of staring at the stranger in the mirror, I opened the door slowly, hoping Justin wouldn’t be waiting for me on the other side. He wasn’t. Joe was.
“Get something in your eye?” he asked as he leaned his body back against the wall. He was always where I never expected him. My heart was skipping inside my chest.
Control yourself, Karley.
Why wouldn’t he leave me alone?
More importantly, why didn’t I want him to anymore?
“What do you want, Joe?”
I needed to pretend he had no effect on me.
“I was worried about you.” There was a condescending tone in his voice. “Can’t a big brother be worried about his little sister?”
He was trying his hardest to hold back his seductive smile. I didn’t want him to.
“Oh, is that why you worried about me?”
His alluring stare silently dared me to come closer to him.
I liked this side of him. Dark. Determined. Demanding.
He was used to getting what he wanted. I decided tonight I wouldn’t let him down. I took a step toward him and reached my hand out to his glass and took i
t from his grip. Without hesitation, I put the glass up to my lips and drank the alcohol in one swallow. It burned going down my throat and sent a different kind of chill down my spine.
“Impressive.” Joe said taking a step forward. He reached his other hand out and offered me the other drink in his hand. And as effortlessly as the first drink went down, the second one did, too.
I handed him the empty glasses watching an irresistible smile creep slowly across his face.
I licked the whiskey off my lips with a steady, slow seduction. I kissed the tip of my finger, then gently pressed it against his mouth.
Walking away, I turned to see him leaning his body back against the wall, looking up and smiling. We were both ready for the next round of his game.
“What took you so long?” Justin asked when I got back. Worry filled his voice.
“I needed a minute.”
“Karley, I didn’t mean what I said.” He was upset. “I mean, not about us … that’s not how I feel about you.”
I put my hands on the side of his face and pressed my lips against his. There was no need to hide anymore. Everyone knew about us. Even Bill. My mother told him. From the three-hour conversation he had with Justin earlier this morning, it was obvious he had the same concerns as my mother, but unlike her, he didn’t worry—never about Justin, at least, not the way he worried about Joe.
From the taste of whiskey on my lips, he knew I had been drinking. When Joe walked up behind me and sat back down at the table, he knew where I got it.
“Did you give her alcohol?”
“She took the first one, but yes, I guess I did give her the second one.” He laughed.
Justin’s fury with his brother’s actions surprised me.
“Stay away from her.”
Joe gave his brother a challenging smirk.
“Maybe you should tell her to stay away from me, little brother.”
Justin started to rise in his chair. The last thing I wanted was to come between them again. I interrupted his icy glare at his brother with a kiss.
“Please, don’t be mad.” I kissed his lips again and pulled his face toward mine. “Please.”
His attention was on me again. His brother never flinched at his actions. He wanted the division between us. I wasn’t going to let that happen. I kissed Justin’s lips again.
“I don’t want you to get sick,” he confessed.
“I won’t,” I promised. I shook my head flirtatiously and smiled. “I’m ready to leave whenever you’re ready.”
“Are you sure you still wanna have people over?”
“Of course she does,” Joe answered before swallowing another long drink.
His eyes flickered in his brother’s direction but I held Justin’s face tightly between my hands.
“Yes, I do.”
A small smile started across his lips. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“I’m fine. I wanna go.” I leaned into him giggling the words, “And you know why.”
“She’s fine,” Joe answered from his chair. Justin paid no attention to him this time. All of his focus was on me. He understood I wanted to leave, and he wanted to leave for the same reason. A boyish grin stretched across his face.
“Please tell me you’re ready to go?” he begged Joe.
“Yep!” Joe said standing up. He reached down and took Gray’s hand in his. “Time for you to go home with me.”
She couldn’t stand fast enough. I’d never seen her happier. The thought of her being with him tonight sobered me up immediately. It turned my stomach seeing him smiling at her.
“I’ll go tell Dad we’re leaving,” Justin whispered kissing my hand. I didn’t acknowledge him. My eyes continued to focus on Joe and Gray. Every time he looked at her, her eyes lit up. She was a sure thing if he wanted her.
He did.
I envied her.
Tonight, I realized I wanted him, too. Not the way I wanted Justin but in the same way Gray wanted him. To have him inside me. If only just once.
His eyes never left mine. He was reading my thoughts. Knowing what I was thinking and letting me know it could be me with him if I wanted.
“Your mom said to be careful,” Justin said returning and abruptly interrupting my thoughts about being with his brother. “Oh, and she loves you.”
“Okay,” I whispered distracting myself from his brother’s tempting eyes.
We waited for Jessie and Beth to come back from wherever they went to fix Jessie’s dress. Gray told them to meet us at the house and to let everyone know to get there before midnight. As we walked out to the parking lot, Joe picked her up and threw her over his shoulder.
“I’ll ride with you,” he said.
The last time I saw him this relaxed and carefree was the night at the bar when he was surrounded by all of those beautiful girls buying him drinks and begging him to go home with them. I remembered Justin telling me how much girls liked Joe and how much he liked them, too. As Joe sat Gray down beside her car, familiar feelings from last night returned. He looked over at me. He could tell I wanted him. He wanted me, too.
It didn’t take long for everyone to start arriving at the house. Most of the faces were familiar; most were employees of the resort. Swimming through the sea of people, I spotted a familiar face I hadn’t expected to see here tonight.
“I didn’t think you were coming.”
“Why wouldn’t I come?” Ryan asked grinning facetiously.
The known answer was left unsaid. Justin was standing across the room watching us, pretending to be involved in a conversation with a group of guys.
“I see you’ve been drinking, Miss Karley,” he teased. “Do you want another one?”
My glass was still half full.
“Sure,” I said. “I’ll walk with you.” It may have been the alcohol but I needed to hang out with Ryan for a while. I would deal with Justin later if I needed to, but from the look on his face now he didn’t seem to be angry that I was talking to Ryan.
We met up with our friends near the bar in the pool room. Within minutes, Justin was by my side and wrapping his thick arms tightly around my waist.
I was glad he came over. Ryan acted as if he didn’t notice Justin’s overwhelming affection for me, or my immediate acceptance of it.
“Have you decided if you’re going to Italy with us this summer?” he asked handing me another mixed drink of something.
I was confused at first until I remembered our conversation a few days ago during a break about taking a trip to Italy this summer. Gray had decided she was now saving up for it instead of her getaway. Beth and Jessie were in, but only when they made sure they were both going. A few other regulars at our table were going, too. The gang. That was Gray’s name for us. She desperately wanted Joe to be part of it, too. However, if he didn’t want to be she would be all right with that, too. It just meant she would no longer be part of it either, if it meant keeping him.
I was sure my mother and Bill would pay for it if I wanted to go. I told my friends that with complete excitement during our conversation. Now, the excitement was gone. I’d forgotten all about the trip and telling Justin about it. He was angry finding out this way.
“I don’t know.”
“Yeah, Karley,” Gray said, taking a drink of whatever Joe made for her. She hiccupped before she continued. “It may be the last summer we’re all together. Ryan said after this season, he’ll need to disappear for a while. So, you have to come with us.”
Ryan took a drink and looked away. I wondered where he would go. Back to California, no doubt. It’s where he said he belonged. Up until a few weeks ago, it was where I thought I belonged, too.
“Karley?” Gray repeated.
“Um, I don’t think I can anymore.”
“Why not?” Beth asked moving her body to the music in the background. “Money obviously isn’t an issue.”
Money wasn’t the issue. Not telling Justin about it was.
“Because I might be too busy.�
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“Doing what?” Beth asked still swaying in an imaginary musical breeze.
“I’m thinking about transferring to a university in Connecticut next fall.”
Justin smiled and squeezed my hand.
“What?” Gray asked. She and Beth stared at me before looking over at Jessie. All of them were confused but thought they knew the reason as they looked over at Justin. Smiles exploded across their faces.
“Really?” Jessie screamed.
“Yeah.” I laughed. “Justin asked me to move in with him after next semester and I want to, so … when I get back to college I’ll talk to my advisor and go from there.’”
He kissed my forehead and tightened his grip.
“What?” Joe growled. I waited for him to look in my direction. After earlier this evening, I expected him to at least look at me. He didn’t. His narrowed blue glare never left his brother. Not even when I tried to get his attention.
“Yep!” I gloated through a hiccup. “We’re gonna be roommates, me and you.”
He didn’t appreciate the lightheartedness of my humor. He was back to the old Joe and nothing about my existence amused him in this moment.
“What the fuck is she talking about?” Joe demanded.
Justin faced his brother, still holding me around the waist.
“We haven’t said anything to Dad and Sandy yet, so don’t.”
Opposition continued to fill Joe’s eyes.
“Sounds exciting!” Beth sang, oblivious to the tension filling the air around our circle.
“Yeah, it totally sounds like you got your whole life figured out,” Ryan mocked before setting his drink down and walking away.
My eyes followed Ryan. His words hurt. Not as much as Joe’s. Ryan had feelings for me still, but I’d made it clear to him the other day how I felt about Justin. But now, so much had happened between me and Joe, I wasn’t sure how I felt about anything anymore.
“Looks like I’m not the only one that thinks this is a fucking fucked-up idea,” Joe said before following Ryan’s lead and walking away. As expected, Gray followed.
I didn’t expect such anger from him. Not anymore. He was acting like I meant nothing to him again. It hurt. I fought back tears of anger watching him disappear in the crowd. For a few seconds, an awkward silence surrounded those of us left.