An Expert in Domination

by Sindra van Yssel

  I can live without an orgasm. But it sure didn’t feel like it. She arched her back to push her clit into his hand, but he simply withdrew it and began again only once she was still. There was nothing she could do. She was powerless. That in and of itself was an aphrodisiac, as if she needed anything more to feed her desire. The sight of his swollen cock beneath the leather didn’t help either, nor did the fact that she could only see it by looking past the chain that connected her nipples. The memory of his hand on her throat wasn’t a safe refuge either. But she couldn’t achieve release on her own, though if her hands were free, she thought she could get herself off in about two seconds.

  “I’ll let you come if you say the magic word,” he said.

  “What’s the magic word?”

  “You used it earlier.”

  She thought back and then realized what he meant. “Please, Colby. Please make me come.”

  He smiled. “Good girl.” He slid his fingers across her clit with just the right amount of pressure, as if he already knew her body intimately. Or maybe any pressure would have been right. “Come for me.”

  And she did, ripples of pleasure coursing through her body. Her toes curled. She pulled at her bonds, but they held her fast. Everything seemed to turn white for a moment, and she screamed. Tremor after tremor shook her, and as she felt the aftershocks, she imagined she heard music playing in the background, as if her orgasm had caused the heavenly choirs to open in song.

  He removed his fingers from her, looking regretful, and pulled her phone out of his pocket with his other hand. “Do you need to get that?” he asked.

  “Oh shit. Yes.”

  He hit answer and held the phone up to her. She hoped it was nothing serious. But they wouldn’t call if it wasn’t important.

  I hope it’s not obvious what I was just doing either. “Hi,” she said, trying to sound casual, even though she was tied up and an incredibly sexy man was holding her phone to her ear. “What’s up?”

  “Hi, sweetie,” said her mom, sounding like she was trying to be casual too, and failing. “Sorry to interrupt, but I need you to come home. They just took your dad to the hospital, and I’ll take Jack and Lana with me, but I’m going to need you to take them back.”

  She felt a little guilty she was relieved her kids were okay, but her concern was genuine. “Is he okay?” Stupid question. He’s going to the hospital. And “they” took him. Must mean an ambulance.

  “I don’t know yet, sweetie. They took him to Holy Cross, and I’m sure he’ll get good care. Please drive safely. I’ll be okay with the kids, but I’m concerned they need to be distracted from all this more than I can do right now.”

  “What happened to him?”

  “He felt weak, and had a sharp pain in his chest. That’s all I know right now.”

  “Got it. I’m on my way.”

  “Thank you, Sophia.”

  She looked at Colby and nodded at him to get him to hang up for her, but her mother hung up first. He didn’t need to be told to release her, though. He went to work on her cuffs. “Everything okay?”

  “Dad’s in the hospital.”

  “I’m sorry,” he said.

  “I have to go. Now.”

  “I’ll drive you.”

  She reached up and unclipped a clamp. “Yeow!”

  “They hurt worse coming off than they do going on.”

  That was an understatement. “Now you tell me.”

  “Has to be done, though,” he said and then straddled her to work on the other cuff.

  “I’m sorry,” she said.

  “Don’t be. Life happens.”

  “I live sixty miles away. And even if you drove me, my car would be stuck here.”

  “Then I’ll drive you in your car.”

  “How will you get back?”

  “I’d bet Dylan would come get me or find someone who will. I’ll figure out something. You’re not going to drive yourself, with all that stress and worry. It’s not safe.” He got off and handed her bra to her.

  “And if it was you and your dad? Would I be driving you?” She put it on.

  He shook his head. “My dad’s been dead for five years. And no, you wouldn’t be. I’m used to operating under that kind of stress. Occupational hazard.”

  “Well, Mr. Occupational Hazard, I’m perfectly capable of driving myself.” She grabbed her dress.

  “Could be. I’m not capable of letting you, so that’s that. Besides, I have your key.” He held it up.

  She stared at him for a moment and then shrugged. “I don’t have time for this. Let’s go.” She didn’t know whether to be flattered by his concern or pissed off at him, but she supposed neither would do her any good. He was going to be out of her life in an hour, and being angry never solved anything. “Bloody Dom.” She headed for the hallway.

  “Yep.” He grabbed a shirt and followed after her.

  He called Dylan from the car and got a call back within five minutes, saying he’d found someone to come fetch him. Sophia couldn’t help but wonder if it was one of the women who had stared at him as he walked through the dungeon with her. And what he might do with that woman now that Sophia was out of the picture. She gritted her teeth and tried to pretend she didn’t care.

  “So,” Sophia said, to talk about anything else, “you said you’re a lawyer? And used to be a cop? Why’d you change, the money?”

  He shook his head. “I loved being a cop. And I live pretty simply for the most part, aside from a few indulgences. I still think of myself as a cop, twelve years later. But I got outed for being kinky, and stuff came up with my divorce that, well, wasn’t accurate, about the things I do. I was given a long leave of absence, and I used it to start getting a law degree. I represent mostly sexually alternative people who find that the law doesn’t give them a fair shake.”

  “Kinky people? What kind of things?”

  “Custody cases, often, where one parent decides to use the fact that someone is gay or transgendered or polyamorous or yeah, kinky, against them in court. Sometimes it’s someone facing workplace discrimination. Or not able to visit their partner in the hospital. Often I’m working together with another lawyer who specializes in the field. And occasionally I actually get to do some investigation, just like I did in the old days.”

  They made small talk mostly on the way down. She realized it was a good thing he was driving. After the initial burst of adrenaline, she felt drained, and she suspected it was more from the sex than the stress. Sex like that makes a girl want to take a nap afterward. Or have more. Or both. Good God, with him around, I’d never get out of bed.

  He offered to come in with her once she got to the hospital, but she reluctantly turned him down. Part of her wanted to have someone like him in her life, but he wasn’t offering that. And she didn’t want to explain why she was with a hunk in leather pants to her mother or her kids. She’d learned something about herself and her desires, but that didn’t mean she wanted to share with everyone. And right now she had to concentrate on being a mom.

  He got out of the car and joined her as she walked toward the main entrance. “I need your phone number,” he said.

  Her heart beat a little faster. “Are you going to actually call it?” It’s not like we’re going to have a relationship. So what’s the point? I shouldn’t get my hopes up. And anyway, I hardly know him really. Though she felt she knew him better than some people she’d known for months.

  “I will call,” he said. “Promise.”

  She told him her number and then left him standing in front of the hospital. She checked on her father, who had fainted. The doctors thought it was a “mild” heart attack but were doing tests and keeping him sedated until they were sure. She made sure her mom was okay, and then she took the kids and headed back out. By the time she left, Colby was gone. As if he never existed. I didn’t even end up getting his e-mail address.

  Chapter Six

  Colby separated himself from the crowd that had gathered after
his morning talk. It had been on the topic of aftercare, something he felt passionate about. One of the things he always stressed was that even a light scene could be emotionally powerful, and it was important to call someone you played with the next day. He thought it was mildly ironic that the talk had delayed him from actually doing so.

  Of course, if Sophia was in the hospital with her dad, she might not be able to answer.

  He walked out of the dungeon, both because he didn’t want eavesdroppers and because having cell phones out in a public play area was bad etiquette. They all had cameras these days, and most people didn’t want to have their pictures taken when they were half dressed and being kinky. He of all people knew the kind of trouble that could cause. He walked a bit farther to get out of range of the smokers gathered near the entrance. He wanted to avoid the smoke, and he also didn’t want a conversation with the henna-haired vixen who’d been looking to play with him ever since he’d gotten there. Another day, she might be a lot of fun, but he wasn’t in the mood.

  He’d just given a talk about the experience of “drop”—the after-scene letdown where the endorphins had worn off and only the memory remained. It was more than endorphins, of course. There were also powerful emotions. He’d even talked a little about how tops can experience drop too, but he’d never considered the possibility that he might. He missed Sophia. And the way their session had ended disrupted all the careful rituals with which he tried to mitigate his own separation from a sub. He hadn’t been able to properly release her. They hadn’t gotten to cuddle. At least he’d been able to take care of her by driving—if he hadn’t been able to do that for her, he figured he’d be a mess. Because what I need for aftercare is to be able to give it to my sub.

  He dialed her number and got her voice mail. He left a simple message expressing hope that her dad was better and for her to call him back. Then he called some lawyer friends of his about two of his cases, wanting to make sure all the angles were covered. He had taken one of them because it paid very well indeed, and the other because he believed in it, and it was the one that he’d be lucky to collect his fee on that his mind kept going to. A lot depended on getting the right judge for the Conway case—one who would believe that a woman could have two boyfriends and still be a good parent. He knew the men were great with the kids, and he had real doubts about the ability of the natural father to do any better.

  He was suddenly impatient to be back in LA and be more hands-on, but the fact was there was very little that could be done over the weekend anyway, and he would be in the office bright and early on Monday. In the meantime, he could make phone calls.

  He walked back toward the door, only to find the henna-haired girl blocking his path. He stopped, waiting to see what she had to say, even though he felt like telling her to get the hell out of his way. Between not being able to reach Sophia and not being able to do anything for his clients, he was feeling grouchy.

  “Hi. My name’s Valerie.”

  “Colby. Glad to meet you,” he lied and then took a deep breath. He was a good judge of character, but sometimes he’d been surprised by people he had wanted to write off at first. Maybe she wanted to learn how to tie a knot or something.

  Valerie met his eyes. “I liked your presentation of flogging. I was wondering if you’d like to go in there and whack me some. I can take a good beating, and I’ve got no problems with you leaving marks.” She shifted her eyes away. “And if you prefer a little submission to go with your masochism, I can do that too.”

  Meaning you can fake it. Sophia had no idea how to dance the dance of dominance and submission, but when she had surrendered, it was real and hard-won. Valerie, he suspected, was willing to submit because he was a mild celebrity, and because she figured that in the dungeon with everyone watching, she didn’t need to trust to play the role. “No, thank you.”

  For a moment, he thought Valerie was going to make another pitch, but she shrugged and actually grinned at him. “There are plenty of other fish in the sea. Thanks for listening.” She stood aside. “Have fun, and thanks for coming to Bondage Ranch. I look forward to your next demo.”

  “Thanks. Glad you came too,” he said, with sincerity this time.

  Then his phone buzzed. He pulled it out and saw that it was Sophia. He gave an apologetic shrug. “Have to take this,” he said and walked away, hitting Accept as he did.

  “Hi. How’s your dad?”

  “He’s doing okay. Stable, conscious, he’s going to make it through okay. Just one of those warnings to exercise and eat right—and he used to smoke, so he’ll always have some damage from that. A scare, that’s all.” She had a nice, sweet voice. Without her body there to distract him, he could concentrate on it better. Kinda like a blindfold can enhance a flogging.

  “Whew. Glad that’s all it was.”

  “Yes. Wish I hadn’t had to go, but I did. I’ll be playing with my kids today, keeping them occupied, and we’ll go and visit, but I think once a day is enough for them. Mom will be there all day. Why the heck am I telling you all this? You’re a stranger. Why’d you call?”

  “Because stranger or no, I do care. And also, we had an intense experience.”

  “We did.”

  “And I want to make sure you’re okay.”

  “Why wouldn’t I be?”

  “Be—”cause people often experience drop and have a hard time after scenes, or multiple scenes. Because it’s hard to go from intensity to normality sometimes. He stopped himself because there was no use in explaining it to her if she honestly wasn’t feeling bad. Some people didn’t. If she was one of them, more power to her, and he certainly wasn’t going to tell her she ought to be. “It’s my job to check,” he said.

  “I’ve got a mark from the rope, but it’s fading, and it’s actually kind of fun to look at now and then. Everything we did was safe, right? I don’t know about you grabbing my neck, but I have to admit that was hot. Anyway, I’m fine.”

  I wasn’t primarily concerned with the physical. “Good, good,” he said. “Well, you’ve got my number now, so feel free to call in the next few days if you need anything.”

  “Nah,” she said. “You’ve got demonstrations and talks to do up there. You’ll be busy. Plenty of people for you to play with. I’ve gotta run. Jack is upset with Lana. I think they both want to read the same book. Thanks for calling. Bye.”

  He wanted to protest that he would rather play with her, but he didn’t think she’d believe him. He should go and find a play partner and have fun, but he didn’t really feel in the mood. And he didn’t have any right to keep her from being a mom. In fact, it was one more adorable thing about her. “You’re a lovely person, Sophia. I’m glad I met you. Bye.”

  The line went dead. Colby went back into the dungeon, exchanging a smile with Valerie on his way. He resolved to go find the Dom who’d asked him for help with the Somerville bowline and make sure he was getting it—and if he was, teach him a few more tricks, if he was willing. If he didn’t feel like playing, that didn’t mean he couldn’t spend the weekend teaching and helping other people’s scenes if they wanted him to.

  * * * *

  Once he was home, he threw himself into his work.

  “You look like crap,” Angela told him two months after he’d been to Bondage Ranch. “You’ve been working too hard.” Angela was a big African-American woman who’d been born to a fifteen-year-old single mom and had studied hard and become a lawyer. She knew the meaning of work, that was for sure. She was also one of his best friends, working with him on several custody cases. She had walked into his fourteenth-floor office to drop off some papers and had stayed to share a cup of coffee.

  “Why, thank you,” he said. “Your ’fro has seen better days, yourself.”

  “Ain’t nothing wrong with my ’fro, Colby, and don’t change the subject. You’ve been running yourself ragged for weeks. You need to stop, or you’ll be no good for anyone.” When Angela’s grammar slipped, she was going into bossy mode. Angela w
as one of the few people Colby could tolerate bossy from.

  “I talked to a potential new client yesterday. A trans woman who has been harassed by the cops.”

  “Refer her to Terry,” Angela told him, suggesting a friend of theirs who did good work. “There’s nothing left for you to do in the Conway case, and we’ve got it in the bag. Finding out that her ex has been doing drugs should pretty much seal it, even if the judge was skeptical about her lifestyle. You’ve done good work. Go do what you do to relax.”

  He shrugged. He had been working late nights and then getting up early. Angela knew about his involvement in the BDSM lifestyle, but discussions of it made her uncomfortable. He’d been avoiding the local dungeons, and he wasn’t sure why, except that work left him tired and he’d felt uninterested in casual play and too jaded to cultivate a new girl. Maybe he could go to a few Lakers games, although the way they’d been playing the last couple of weeks, that wouldn’t necessarily be very relaxing. And it would be better with a date. “Maybe I should go camping.”

  “No. You’ll turn that into work.” She pulled his half-drunk coffee cup away from him, sliding it across the glass-topped desk. “Do I have to say it, Colby? You need to find one of those girls you get somehow—go get laid, play Master and slave for a while, and work the bugs out. You’re not a man who does well when he’s not getting sex, and while you can channel your frustration for a while, you can’t keep it up.” She smirked. “Sorry for the bad pun.”

  He stared at Angela and leaned back in his swivel chair. He knew how to look relaxed to clients or opponents even when he wasn’t, but he doubted he could fool Angela. And he wasn’t even going to bother to object to her use of the word play. “There’s no way I can be here in LA and not work for that new client. Or look for a lead on the Baker matter.”