Destroy (A Standalone Romance Novel)

by Adams, Claire

  “That’s wonderful, Mom. And these moments of lucidity will happen quite often. They’re indications of his brain’s function. It’s great to hear that he’s doing so well.”

  “Yes….anyway, I must let you go. I know you must be tired. Call me when you’ve talked to Dr. Aldridge, won’t you, dear?”

  “I will, Mom. No worries.”

  An hour later, Tiffany came home. As soon as she burst through the door, she bombarded me with questions.

  “Why didn’t you make it to the meeting tonight? Dr. Kerry even asked after you? Are you okay? Was there anything wrong?”

  I was warming up some chicken in the oven, and cooking some snow peas. I didn’t even look at her when I answered, “I’m fine, Tiff. But I couldn’t make it to the meeting because I had nothing to contribute.”

  “What happened? It’s Jeff again, isn’t it?”

  I nodded.

  “What is it with this guy?” Tiffany sounded as irritated as I had been when I first heard the fight he had with his wife in the locker room. “Can’t he just get off your case?”

  “It’s not that, Tiff.” I looked at her now. “Let’s have a glass of wine after you’ve had your shower, okay?”

  “Alright, I hear you. Besides, I think I’ve brought home all of the germs roaming the ER this afternoon. We had a case of influenza–that H1N1 thing–and truly, it was touch and go for a while for the guy. Anyway, he’s resting comfortably now. But we had to take a disinfecting shower before going back to the locker room.”

  I smiled at her. Once again, I thought how simple life was for Tiffany. She didn’t have to worry about a boyfriend or having an affair with a married man–I was the idiot in this equation.

  When we finally sat down with the glass of wine while the chicken was doing its thing in the oven and I told her what had happened, she stared at me aghast.

  “That’s an absolutely awful thing to happen, Hattie. Not only do they lose their son, but now they’re going through an agonizing separation because they can’t stand the sight of each other.”

  “Yeah, that’s about the size of it. Except that Elizabeth has thrown me in the middle of it. She knows that we’re having an affair, obviously. And she’s taking it on him for now. But I bet you my bottom dollar that she’ll be blaming me for the break-up very soon.”

  “And if she does, what is she going to do, do you think?”

  “If she’s really got it in for me, she could go to the Board and have me dismissed.”

  We sipped in silence for a minute.

  “You know, Hattie, if I were her, I wouldn’t try to have you fired because the problem existed before you came in anyway.”

  “What do you mean?” I asked when a light bulb suddenly sprang to life above my head. “You’ve got some news from your dad, have you? Jeff’s been sued for sexual harassment. Has he?”

  “Not really. That’s to say, he was going to be sued, but the plaintiff withdrew her complaint. Dad thinks it was settled out of court.”

  “But that means he’s been running after some other skirts than mine, hasn’t he?”

  “Yes and no.”

  I looked at Tiff with a raised eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

  “Well, sometimes girls sue their boss just to get some money out of him. So it could very well be that Jeff was sued only for monetary gain on the part of the plaintiff; or, it could have been a real case. My dad couldn’t and wouldn’t be able to tell you anymore than that.”

  “Well, that’s enough ammunition for me to keep watch. We’ll see what happens tomorrow.” I drank a bit more wine before adding, “Let’s eat. The chicken might be over done by now.”

  With a titter, Tiff followed me to the kitchen.

  Chapter 27

  I didn’t know what to expect when Tiffany and I arrived at the hospital the next morning. I was frightened. I thought of Elizabeth demonstrating how angry she could be when she fought with her husband the previous night. Tiffany was doing all she could to calm me down. But I truly didn’t know how the cookie was going to crumble that day. When we arrived upstairs and got ready for our morning powwow with Dr. Kerry, I noticed all eyes were on me.

  I felt like crawling under the table.

  “Okay, now that we are all here,” Dr. Kerry began, “let’s get down to business, shall we?” She looked at everyone in turn and stopped her roving gaze on me. I lowered my eyes. What had happened the previous night was none of my doing. Even though I knew Elizabeth could throw me to the wolves anytime she liked, her marital disagreement was none of my business.

  “So, Dr. Williams, it seems that you have made an impression on Dr. Elizabeth Aldridge.” I opened my mouth and closed it. What is Dr. Kerry saying? What sort of “impression” is she referring to? “Yes, my dear, don’t look so surprised. You’ve assisted her in two very delicate surgeries some ten days ago I believe, and she wants you back.” Everyone turned to me. I felt utterly confused. What is Elizabeth up to? I wondered. “So, as soon as we’re done here, you’ll go down to the operating theater and assist Dr. Aldridge in a kidney transplant. The organ has come in an hour ago–you’ll have no time to waste.”

  I was still staring straight ahead of me, totally oblivious of what had been said or discussed, when Dr. Kerry finished her round of questioning and re-assignments. Tiffany had to pull on my sleeve to recall me to attention.

  “What do you think that means?” she asked me as we were walking to the elevators.

  “How should I know?” I replied, shrugging. “I’ve no idea what the woman wants from me and truly I don’t care.” We then shut up since the elevators arrived and we rushed into it. “I’ll see you tonight,” I said to Tiffany when she reached the ground floor and exited the lift.

  When I arrived in the dungeon, I ran–literally–to the scrub room and was dressed and washed in mere minutes.

  Elizabeth was waiting for me by the door of the operating theater.

  “Alright, Dr. Williams, let’s get this done, shall we?” She pushed the doors open.

  As we walked to the table, she added, “Let’s worked side by side this time. I want you to be my hands while I tell you what to do. You need to obey orders and do exactly what I say. At no time should you take the lead even if you think my orders are wrong; understood?”

  “Yes, Doctor,” I replied, moving beside her while the nursing staff moved to the other side of the table and the anesthesiologist took his seat at the patient’s head. I was not used (or prepared) to follow orders. If she ordered me to do something wrong and the patient died as a result, my career would be over in the blink of an eye. On the other hand, if I didn’t follow her orders, and the patient died, might as well give up and go into some other profession. Any way you looked at this, Elizabeth had me cornered. If this was a trap, it was a good one.

  Soon after we started, she began ordering me to do one thing at a time–slowly at first–then she pressed down on the accelerator. She didn’t give me time to think. When you’re operating on someone and you don’t really keep up with what’s happening, you’re endangering the patient’s life.

  If you act as an automaton in the operating theater and your reflexes become the masters of your thoughts, you need to take a breather, shake your head, and resume the procedure only when you’ve woken up from your temporary torpor.

  That’s exactly what I did. I put down the instrument I had in my hand and took a step back.

  “Where are you going?” Elizabeth practically hollered at me, surprising the nurses. “You’ve got to finish what you started.”

  “I will,” I flared, “but only when you stop rushing this train through my tunnel.” I inhaled a big gulp of air. “I am new at this and if you want speed, I can only say that I’m not ready for it yet.”

  “Okay, okay,” she growled. “Come back here and finish this. We don’t have much time left on this clock.”

  The woman hates to lose; she hates to back down. And that’s probably why she won’t sign the divorce pape
rs.

  An hour later, the operating nurse finished suturing the incisions and Elizabeth and I walked out of the theater with a slight smile of satisfaction. The patient was on his way to a new life.

  “Well done, Dr. Williams. Under the circumstances, I cannot fault you. You have the detachment necessary to be an excellent doctor and a great surgeon. Well done, as I said!”

  You could have slapped me senseless at that moment; I wouldn’t have felt it. I was numb with surprise. Here was a woman who had lost a son, who was losing her husband to a colleague physician and she still had enough equanimity to congratulate the person who was probably due to become her worst enemy. I had to admire her. No question, Elizabeth Aldridge was a wonderful woman and an excellent physician.

  It’s only when I exited the scrub room and met Corey, Gerald, and Tiffany in the corridor leading to the elevator that I noticed their presence. The entire group of interns had been watching me from the observatory. Dr. Kerry had been there too, apparently.

  “Well done, Dr. Williams,” Gerald said, meaning it too. “The way you told her off for putting the pedal to the metal was perfect. Kudos to you.”

  I was mute. I had no words to say. My colleagues, my friends were around me, discussing my work, and all I was thinking about was Elizabeth and her husband. I shook myself out of these unwelcome thoughts.

  “Thanks, guys,” I said, my smile returning at a gallop. “And Dr. Kerry watched the whole thing?”

  “Well, yes,” Tiffany said, “Didn’t you see us up there?”

  “Honestly, I didn’t pay attention to anything. Dr. Aldridge kept me absolutely focused and I couldn’t think of anything.”

  “Why did you step back then?” Corey asked.

  “Well, if you heard what I said, you’d know. I had to stop because I was acting like a robot. I was not registering what I was doing. She didn’t like it, but I had no choice. It was either her slowing down or me walking out.”

  “I guess she gave you some leeway, didn’t she?”

  I nodded to Corey’s remark.

  In the next few hours, I managed to make notes about the operation and visited our patient in ICU. The best news of the day was when we heard that they had found a liver for Lydia, the little girl whose sister had received their uncle’s liver the previous week. I was overjoyed.

  I went to spend some time with the twins in the children’s ward when I brought them the news. Elizabeth wanted me to bring the news to the family. I found it strange. Why sending me? She was the primary surgeon. I was only an intern for goodness’ sake. I would learn why she did in a day or so.

  The end of the day didn’t arrive too soon. I was tired. A wreck. And Jeff was waiting for me at the hospital’s door–across the street actually.

  God, please, the man is like a canker; he won’t let go, will he?

  “Hi,” he said, taking my hand. I took it away. “How was your day?”

  “For heaven’s sakes, man,” I practically hollered at him, “Is that all you’ve got to say?” He bowed his head. “Jeff, listen to me,” I said more quietly. “You know I heard your conversation with your wife last night, don’t you?”

  He nodded.

  “Well, you need to sort this out with Elizabeth first. You need to get out for both your sakes.”

  “I know, Heather, but I can’t get you out of my head. Do you realize that?”

  “Yes, I realize that, Jeff. And believe me when I say that I feel the same way.” I took in a breath. Then I pointed to a nearby bench in the little park. It was cool but not unbearably cold. We sat down. “If we ever want to be together, Jeff, we can’t have it both ways. You have to break away from your wife. She knows we’re having an affair. She admires honesty. And I believe she blew up at you last night not because you’re having an affair but because you’re not honest about it.”

  “How do you know this?” he asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

  “Because I’m the same, Jeff. If you ever were to walk away from our relationship, I would demand the truth. Nothing less would do. It would hurt much less that way, believe me.”

  “What about the divorce; what do you think she’ll do now?”

  “Elizabeth was right when she said that she, too, has suffered since your son died. She was a mother, Jeff. I don’t know if you can comprehend how much it hurts a mother to lose a child. Nevertheless, now, the best way to close the wound is to move on.”

  “Why wouldn’t she do it before?”

  “I would say that she always hoped you would get over your grieving and return to her arms.” I paused. “And I have to blame myself for appearing on the scene when I did.”

  “But you didn’t.”

  “Oh yes, I did, Jeff. You would not have gone so far astray if I had not been in the way of your recovery. I provided you with an outlet for your grief and for your unrequited love.”

  He smiled. “You should have chosen a career in psychology; you know that?”

  “Maybe. It’s never too late to switch. And since I don’t know what the Board is going to decide as far as my future in this hospital is concerned—”

  “What are you talking about?” he cut in. “You’re the talk of the town right now…”

  “That may be, Jeff, but I’m also the woman who brought the word ‘scandal’ to its list of epithets.”

  Jeff got up. “Don’t be silly. Marriages do break up, whether you’re working in a hospital or in an office or in a pit mine. So, don’t fool yourself into thinking anything like an affair is bound to destroy your career. This is the twenty-first century after all.”

  I got to my feet, too. “By the way, I talk to Mom last night.”

  “Oh? And how is the dear lady?”

  “She is fine, thanks, and she asked after you.”

  “After me? What did I do now?”

  I had to giggle. He sounded like a little boy about to be scolded. “Nothing. She only wanted to thank you for all the suggestions you gave her regarding my dad’s treatment.”

  “How is he?”

  “Actually, he’s doing so well, Mom can’t even believe it. So, she was asking if you had any other tips up your sleeve.” I looked up at him as he took me in a warm embrace.

  “Tell her to be happy, especially when she’s around him. Sadness and anger are totally counter-indicated for dementia patients. They believe they’ve done something wrong if you look angry. And since they can’t remember what they’ve done in the last ten minutes, they fly into a rage of frustration.”

  “That’s why he didn’t want to talk to people–he probably thought they were going to berate him for something he had done.”

  “Exactly. But now that you’re mother is happy around him, he is more comfortable in his own skin and he’s progressing properly.”

  Chapter 28

  That evening, when I finally got home, I felt as if someone was slamming a hammer against my temples. I am generally not given to migraines or headaches, but I had been under such stress that I wasn’t surprised. I needed sleep more than anything. When Jeff had asked me to have dinner with him, I had to tell him that I had a headache. He broke out in hearty laughter then.

  “Are you going to give me that old excuse already? Really?”

  “No, I would never do that. We’ve just talked about being honest with each other. Well, there you have it. I have a headache. I can’t have dinner with you. I need to go home. Are you okay with that?”

  He was still grinning when he said, “Yes, Dr. Williams, I’m okay with that.” He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my forehead. “Go then. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” I nodded and left him standing in the middle of the pathway.

  Tiffany wasn’t home yet. But that didn’t matter. We had agreed that the first one home would do the cooking. I guess it was my turn. I looked in the freezer. We had a couple of chicken legs left from the day before. That will do just fine, I thought. I was steaming some asparagus with nugget potatoes as a side dish when Tiffany came in.
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br />   “Wow, that smells great,” she said, “Let me get in the shower; I’ll be right back,” and disappeared in her room.

  A few minutes later, she was back, wrapped in her pink bathrobe, bunny slippers on her feet, brushing her hair. She sat down on the sofa and looked up at me. “So, anymore news from either Aldridge?”

  “I hope you don’t dress like that with your boyfriend,” I said, bringing two plates of chicken and veggies to the coffee table.

  “What boyfriend?” She grabbed one of the plates and put it down. “Did you ever see me flirting with anyone?”

  “No, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have a boyfriend, does it?”

  I fetch the cutlery, napkins and glasses of wine from the kitchen counter and came to sit beside her.

  “No it doesn’t.”

  “But it doesn’t answer my question either.”

  “No, I don’t have a boyfriend, Heather.” She began eating. “Honestly, I don’t think I want to spare the time it takes to have a relationship with anyone.”

  I nodded. Tiffany was right; it takes time to maintain a good relationship with anyone. You have to nurture the friendship, otherwise boredom sets in and you could destroy what could have been a very good thing. This made me think of our friendship. Jeff and I; were we friends, or just lovers? Was there a budding friendship between us or was it all sex? I had to admit when I thought about Jeff; the most prominent thought was having sex with him. We never had time to become friends. We had been thrown together by circumstances and we were battling our way out of one situation after another for a chance meeting or two. This was no way to build a friendship.

  After I finished eating my drumstick, I said, “But to answer your question, Tiff, Jeff was waiting for me outside of the hospital again tonight.”

  “And what did he have to say for himself?” Tiffany questioned, licking her fingers.