It was times like these Tandi wondered what her mother might have looked like if she had lived. Then she’d know what to expect down the line when her passable good looks morphed into a mask of wrinkles and tired old worry lines. Unfortunately, the one picture she had of her mother was a faded old Polaroid taken when her mother was fifteen years old, and that she had only seen once. Her father said her mother had been shy about taking photos, but it was hard to believe that after a five-year marriage just one picture of her mother existed. She wanted to ask her father if she resembled her mother, if she was like her in any way, but he didn’t like her or her brother, Glynn, bringing her up. Maybe their mother’s passing was too painful for him still, and being a man—not supposed to cry—perhaps he had never dealt fully with his loss. Who knows? As for herself, Tandi wished her mother were alive so that she could talk to her about Jared. A more experienced voice was what she needed to help her deal with the ending of her marriage. This wasn’t something she wanted to share with just anyone, not even her closest friends, Evonne and Daina—especially Daina—who wanted her to be with Jared until she drew her last breath. But Evonne’s bored expression whenever she complained about Jared said clearly that she was sick of hearing the same old tales of woe.
Evonne would say, “You and Jared have been taking each other for granted for so long, you’ve lost your spontaneity. You’re too comfortable with each other, which leads to disinterest, and the pity of it is, you have a lifestyle that most single women, including me, would die for.”
Isn’t it funny how people on the outside looking in salivate over another’s life? If only for even a day, they could live the life of the one they envy. Their minds would be changed. Neither Evonne nor Daina understood completely what she was going through and what she was feeling—unloved and trapped. Daina, who had introduced her to Jared in the first place, had advised her once to get herself a lover on the side and keep Jared as the meal ticket, just as she had done with her husband, Herb. Daina was convinced Herb had a lover on the side himself. Personally, Tandi didn’t see why she needed that headache. It would only compound her problems.
When she told Evonne what Daina had suggested, Evonne bitched, “Daina’s a tramp. I know you’re not going to listen to her.”
“Believe me, I don’t need to complicate my life any more than it is.”
“Tandi, I don’t get you. Jared’s one in a million. You should be happy you got a hardworking man, and not some bum laying up on you watching television all day and hitting you up for cigarette and beer money. Stop bitching, girl, and count yourself lucky.”
It wasn’t very often but there were moments when Tandi felt bad about griping about her life with Jared, but she couldn’t help it. After all, this Jared wasn’t the man she fell in love with, not by a long shot. This Jared didn’t talk to her late into the night about his day, his plans, their life—all of which used to ignite her desire for him. This Jared had lost his passion for her and she had lost hers for him. They were more like roommates than man and wife. Maybe she picked and nagged at the little things and started arguments with him in an attempt to put some fire under his ass, but nary a spark would take, not even a wisp of smoke would materialize. If anything, Jared withdrew from her more. Rarely did he argue back, choosing instead to lock his eyes on the television or an invisible spot on the wall. Mostly, he’d get up and go off into another room, away from her mouth, which was how they started sleeping in separate rooms. Last night was the last straw though. Jared went to sleep on her when she was trying to talk him into taking two weeks off in July so they could take a cruise to Barcelona, a place she always wanted to go. She thought she’d give it one last try to see if they could find their way back, but when he fell asleep on the living room sofa, he could not have angered her more. While Jared slept, Tandi had sat up all night planning her divorce and wondering where Brent Rodgers was.
3
Before Jared’s foot touched down on the second step at the top of the stairs, he was, once again, aware that the smell of bacon or breakfast sausage was conspicuously missing. What was different this time was that even the aroma of fresh-brewed coffee was absent. Apparently, Tandi hadn’t even made coffee for herself. Jared continued down the stairs knowing that, yet again, he was going to have to stop at the restaurant down the street from his office.
“Morning, MJ.”
Michael Jared looked up from his bowl of oatmeal. “Hey, Dad. You’re late.”
“I know. I overslept.” Jared stood behind the chair he’d normally be sitting in eating his breakfast. He glanced over at Tandi at the counter, her back to him. “Morning, Tandi. I didn’t mean to fall asleep on you last night. I was beat.”
Silently sucking her teeth, Tandi slid Michael Jared’s bologna-and-cheese sandwich into a plastic sandwich bag and zipped it shut. She didn’t bother to turn around. There was nothing she had to say to Jared about last night or any night. It was her tomorrows without him in her life she wanted to talk about—that is when Michael Jared wasn’t around.
Michael Jared looked up again at Jared and shrugged.
In response, Jared shrugged. He glanced at the back of Tandi’s head as she went about her business of packing MJ’s lunch. He was used to the silent treatment. He turned back to MJ. “Hey, man, want me to drop you off this morning?”
“Can I ride up front?”
“Yep.”
“All right!”
“Then finish up.” Jared sauntered over to the refrigerator and took out the container of orange juice. It felt light. He shook it. It was almost empty. “Tandi, would you like some juice?”
Still not turning around, she grumbled, “No.” She wanted to punch him.
Who was Jared fooling? All of a sudden he had time to drive ten blocks out of his way to drop Michael Jared off despite the fact that he was already late. How magnanimous of him to volunteer to do what he often called “her job.” That’s another thing she hated about him. If she had asked—no, begged—him to take Michael Jared to school, he would not have hesitated to say no, but because he was trying to get back into her good graces, he was graciously volunteering, and making himself look good in Michael Jared’s eyes to boot. Oh, how she wanted to be a bitch and tell him to not do her any favors, but she’d come off looking like the bad guy. If having his father take him to school made Michael Jared happy, she wouldn’t spoil it for him, although she hated that big-ass SUV Jared insisted on buying. It was like a truck and Jared drove much too fast in it.
Michael Jared, on the other hand, liked riding high, fast, and hard. He complained that her mid-sized four-cylinder sedan was a whimp car, no power. Most days when she dropped him off, he’d bolt from the car almost before she even came to a full stop. If he had his way, he would get out of the car blocks from school and walk the rest of the way. Of course she knew he didn’t want his friends to see that his mother still drove him to school, but that was just too bad. Time would come soon enough when she’d have to let him go it alone. Then, as life would have it, when his butt gets grown, he’ll probably be begging her for a ride or even for her car. For now, she’d continue to take him to school. It was about her own peace of mind and her need to know he was safe. Still, she dreaded the day he turned eighteen and got his first car, as Jared had promised him. Already, behind her back, he had been teaching Michael Jared how to drive on the rare occasion he spent time with him—a precious few Saturday afternoons after work. She knew that was a father-son thing and didn’t interfere, but just the same, she dreaded the day that was sure to come.
While slowly pouring himself less than a half glass of juice, Jared watched Tandi stubbornly avoid looking at him.
Michael Jared scooped up his cinnamon-sprinkled oatmeal with more enthusiasm and slurped down the last few spoonfuls. He jumped up from the table and was about to sprint out of the kitchen.
“Get back here, mister.” Tandi opened the dishwasher door and pulled the tray out.
“Oh,” Michael Jared said. He qu
ickly picked up his bowl and half-empty glass of orange juice. For a second he couldn’t decide if he wanted to drink the juice or empty it down the sink. One piercing look from Tandi, he turned the glass up to his mouth and began gulping down the juice, some of it dribbling over the side of the glass from the corner of his mouth onto his white oversized T-shirt.
“Look at what you’re doing,” Tandi said.
Michael Jared looked down at his shirt. “Aww, man.”
“Go change,” Jared said. He put the empty juice container back into the refrigerator.
Tandi cut her eyes at Jared. It annoyed her that he was playing daddy. “Put on that blue sweater I hung on your doorknob last night,” she said to Michael Jared.
Michael Jared quickly placed his bowl, glass, and spoon into the dishwasher.
Tandi shook her head. In his eagerness to be driven to school in Jared’s jeep, Michael Jared forgot to give her a hard time about telling him what to wear. He hadn’t readily agreed to wear anything she told him to wear since he was eight years old.
Michael Jared raced out of the room, leaving Tandi alone with Jared. She turned back to the counter.
Jared quietly sipped on his juice while watching Tandi. His eyes traveled down from the back of her head to her butt. Inside, he smiled. Tandi had a butt worth smiling about—firm, curvaceous, and definitely a handful. He would have palmed it except she’d only snap at him about last night or say she wasn’t in the mood; always an excuse to keep him from touching her the few times he had the inclination, which wasn’t too often. He was usually too tired when he got in from work to even spell the word sex. Of course, it didn’t help that Tandi was mired in one long sour funk that never lifted for anyone but MJ. Tandi was a good mother, and up until the time she found out he had cheated on her, she had been a good wife. He could not have asked for better, which was why he wished he could close up the office and take her on that cruise she so wanted. He owed her that and more for cheating on her.
His affair had been the biggest mistake of his life. It had happened more than a handful of times, but it had been with one woman, Jackie McBride. Jackie had been a client—a good-paying, repeat client—for years. And for years he had ignored her come-ons—getting up close to him to talk, wearing low-cut blouses and short-behind skirts whenever she came into the office, and holding his gaze longer than it was comfortable. As enticing a temptation as Jackie was, he had held strong. Besides, his secretary, Marci, and his paralegal, Raoul, were always around. That is until Jackie scheduled an appointment for four-thirty in the afternoon and then called at five o’clock to say she was stuck in traffic and begged him to please wait for her, that the matter couldn’t wait. He knew it could, but he waited anyway. Marci and Raoul left at five-thirty. Jackie showed up at six.
Jackie signed the will he had prepared and instead of pulling out her checkbook, she pulled out a cigarette. She lit it, but she didn’t smoke it for long. While talking, she let it burn itself out. Then like a cat, she slinked around his desk and sat up on it in front of him.
“It’s hot in here,” she said. She unbuttoned her trench coat and slowly slipped it off her shoulders, exposing the red satin bra and bikini panties she wore, and nothing more.
Guiltily, Jared glanced at Tandi. Even now he felt himself getting an erection from the memory. Jackie had opened her thighs wide and pulled the crotch of her panties aside so he could see her nakedness. When she slipped her own finger inside of herself, mesmerized, he watched as Jackie gyrated her hips and moved her finger in and out of her wet, glistening hole, filling his nose with her scent. He forgot his vows. He forgot he was in his office. He rose up in between Jackie’s thighs and—
Slam! Tandi slammed the cabinet door, snapping Jared’s head from between Jackie’s thighs. Under the table, he tried to push himself down without being noticed. Tandi wasn’t looking at him, but he felt like she knew he had been caught up in the memories of his affair. He hated that he had cheated on Tandi. Even while he was screwing Jackie, he hated what he was doing. When it started, he thought he’d hit it just that one time, but one time became two and before he realized it, he couldn’t stop himself. And it wasn’t that it was better with Jackie. It was different, it was illicit. It was when Tandi found the letters that he forced himself to end it. He had begged Tandi to forgive him and while she had not left, she had pulled away from him. Her ardent kisses, her loving embraces, and her good-natured chattiness had morphed into an irritably angry sullenness. The silence was killing him.
Jared knew how to get Tandi’s tongue wagging. “I forgot to tell you. Your brother came into my office yesterday to ask me about an old insurance policy of your father’s.”
Tandi’s response would have been “Who cares?” if she were speaking to Jared. Instead, hoping he’d get the hint she didn’t care, she went about picking up bread crumbs, one crumb at a time, with her fingertip. These days she wasn’t speaking to Glynn either. He was the one who got along so well with their father, but he always left it to her to go see about him.
Jared refused to give up. “Glynn said he was going out of town for a few weeks.”
Tandi mashed a crumb into the counter. “He couldn’t call and tell me himself?” She snatched a single paper towel off the roll hanging under the cabinet.
“He said he didn’t have time. He asked me to tell you to look in on your father.”
Tandi spritzed the paper towel with water and angrily swiped it once across the counter toward the sink. She finally turned to Jared. “What about Leah? Is she going with him?”
“He didn’t say. He said he’ll call you before he leaves at the end of the week.”
“Oh, how big of him. Where’s he going?”
“Chicago. He said on business.”
“Damnit.” She balled the paper towel up and threw it into the open garbage container against the wall. “I am tired of taking care of that crotchety old man. I don’t like him, and he certainly doesn’t like me.”
It was a dirty way to get her talking, but it worked. “Tandi, I don’t see how he doesn’t like you. You’re the one who’s there for him whether Glynn’s in town or not.”
“He doesn’t see it that way, the old bastard. Yesterday, after I got back from shopping for him, he said he didn’t like the way the pork chops I bought looked. Claimed they were too pale. He wanted me to take them back.”
“Did you?”
“Do I look like I took them back? No one takes meat back to the store unless it’s spoiled.”
“So what did you do?”
“I told Daddy to take them back himself or get Glynn to do it. The whole thing was ridiculous, especially since he’s not supposed to be eating pork. His high blood pressure is the reason he had to retire early in the first place.”
“So why did you buy them?”
She looked at him coldly. “Because, Jared, I get tired of hearing his mouth.”
“Well,” Jared said calmly, “why don’t you let him run his own errands?”
Tandi put her hands on her hips. “Do you ever listen to anything I say?”
Jared felt his stomach tighten, but he was cool.
“I told you. My father goes wherever he wants, except into a supermarket, which is where he chooses not to go. That old man, who is only sixty-two, is not an invalid, and he wouldn’t be sick if he followed his doctor’s orders and stopped smoking.”
“I know you’re not buying him cigarettes, Tandi, so how does he get them?”
“Probably from his little old wrinkled girlfriend down the street who he says is not his girlfriend, but he’s been going with her for at least nine years that I know of.”
“Who?”
Tandi looked at him like he should know.
“Oh. You mean Miss Iona?”
“Who else?”
“Tandi, give the old girl some credit. She must really like your father. She’s hung in there.”
“Jared, Miss Iona is a haggard old lady trying to get her hooks into a crusty o
ld man with a pension. And as far as I’m concerned, they deserve each other.”
Jared never realized how bitter Tandi was about her father seeing Miss Iona. “You don’t like her much, huh?”
“I don’t like nor dislike her. I just know that she’s going to give my father a heart attack and herself, too, if she’s not careful. She shouldn’t be smoking either, much less trying to do what I caught them doing in his bedroom last week. That old man is going to have a heart attack.”
“Maybe not,” Jared said doubtfully. “His heart seems to be strong enough for sex.”
“Yeah, well, I wish his heart was strong enough to let him take care of his own errands. It’s not fair that he does what he wants and I’m the one who has to take care of him and chauffeur him back and forth to the doctor when he’s sick. I’m tired of it.”
“Tandi, you know I’d help out if I could, but you know I am not going near the man after he called me an ambulance chaser.”
“Yeah, right.” She knew Jared would not help her no matter what. “Where would you possibly find the time?”
Jared ignored the sarcasm. “Look, Tandi, don’t go over there so often anymore. Make Glynn go.”
“If it were as simple as that, I would have stopped going a long time ago. If I stopped, Glynn would never go over there. Like you, he’s too busy. Then when I do go, I’d find a mummified body two pounds from being a skeleton. I know my father. Just to be ornery, he’d starve himself to death before he’d go out and shop for himself, just to make me feel guilty.”
“What about Miss Iona? Can’t she shop for him when she shops for herself?”
“He won’t let her buy his food or cook for him because he says women get men through their stomachs, and he doesn’t want her getting too comfortable. She might want to move in.”
Jared kept trying. “Tandi, if he’s starving, he just might let her.”
Distant Lover Page 2