“Wanna bet?” she asked irritably. “He’d rather keep using me, but I have a surprise for him. From now on, he’ll have to cook for himself because I’m not going to do it anymore.”
“That’s what I’m talking about, and don’t let him put a guilt trip on you.”
“Let? Jared, you keep thinking that I’m allowing my father to fuck with me.” Tandi glanced at the door, hoping Michael Jared hadn’t heard her curse. She saw that Jared, too, glanced at the door.
“I didn’t say you allowed anything,” he said.
“Maybe not directly, but you keep intimating it, and you know what I’ve gone through with my father.”
“Yes, I—”
“I don’t have to keep telling you.”
“No. I was just saying—”
“Jared, what all this comes down to is that my father hasn’t done a damn thing for me since I was eighteen years old, and, needless to say, I haven’t asked him for anything since then. He’s my father so I try to do right by him, but all I’ll ever want from him is for him to tell me where my mother is buried.”
“Yeah, it’s not right that he has never given you that information.”
“He says he doesn’t know. I think he’s lying. He won’t tell me because he doesn’t want Glynn—who couldn’t give a damn—or me going to her grave site.”
“I never understood that.”
She sucked her teeth. “Jared, I told you before. He hates her for walking out on us and leaving him for another man.”
“Maybe he’s still hurting.”
“I don’t believe that for a minute. A man who has an iceberg for a heart can’t be hurt.”
“You’d be surprised how hurt he could get.”
“I doubt it. If my father had a heart, he would not have kept me and Glynn away from our mother after she left him.”
“Maybe he feels guilty about that.” Tandi’s angry glare made Jared feel uneasy. “What’s wrong?” he asked.
“Why are you always defending my father?”
“I’m not. I’m just trying to help you understand why your father acts the way he does. Your mother was killed in a car accident two years after she left him.”
“And?”
“Your father had to feel guilty about not letting you see her.”
“I doubt it.”
“Tandi, guilt can make a man really bitter.”
She wasn’t willing to let her father off that easily. “Jared, my father was born bitter. If anything, my mother leaving him and her death hardened his soul even more. In his bitterness, he made my life miserable, and chances are, he made her life miserable. I will never forgive him for that. I hate him.” She realized this was the first time she said that out loud. She’d always felt that way, and she’d always talked about her anger with him, but she’d never said in fact that she hated him. It felt cathartic. “I’ll always hate him.”
4
From the pained look in Tandi’s eyes, Jared knew she was close to crying. And he had brought her to that point. A vein in her neck was pulsating, her chest was heaving. He had baited her and gotten her to talk. He just hadn’t intended to get her this upset. Her rage even surprised him. As calm as he was trying to be on the outside, his insides were wound as tight as a spool of fishing wire. On top of being tense about Tandi’s anger with him, he was now worried about how angry she was with her father and Glynn whom he had used to bait her into talking. Jared knew Tandi’s pain, he knew her heartaches, and he knew all too well the deep dislike she had for her father. It was an old story, never ending and never resolved. He knew Tandi yearned for the love of a mother she had never known, and it made her needy for him to be around when he couldn’t. When they first met, and every so often when she ached for the familial closeness of her father and brother, which eluded her, she talked about her mother’s death, her father’s coldness, and Glynn’s masking of his emotions. Tandi talked about how she used to wish it had been her father who died and not her mother. Thinking about what he had just done, Jared would not have been surprised if Tandi was wishing the same for him.
“It just isn’t fair,” Tandi said, feeling drained of any energy she might have had upon awakening earlier. “Glynn should look after Daddy. Glynn is his favorite. He’s the one who’s gonna get the house and what little money Daddy leaves behind.”
“You don’t know that for sure.”
“I most certainly do. If you’ll remember, my father had Glynn’s name put on the deed along with his own years ago. Which is why I’m sure Glynn will get his money, but I don’t care about that. I don’t want anything of Daddy’s, which is all the more reason why Glynn and Leah should be over there checking on him.”
“The way I see it, Tandi, if you stop, they’ll have to do more.”
“I wouldn’t count on it. Glynn and Leah’s big-time careers keep them so busy they don’t even have time to raise their own children. They have a live-in housekeeper slash nanny. I hate the way Leah throws that up in my face.”
Jared had no doubt he had lost control of the ball. Tandi was beginning to pace. He had to do something to calm her down. Maybe she’d let him hold her. Standing, he’d taken a single step away from his chair when Tandi seemed to sense what he was about to do. She turned her back to him and went through the motion of busily wiping down the counter—again.
Jared got the message. He stayed where he was. “Your father should get a housekeeper. Isn’t that what he needs?”
“What he really needs is to move out of that big-ass house and get a studio or a one-bedroom apartment.”
“That’s an option. Why don’t you talk to Glynn about it?”
“I already have. The bottom line? Daddy won’t move and Glynn won’t make him. And as far as a housekeeper is concerned, Daddy said he doesn’t want a stranger in his house snooping in his things or his business.”
“Get someone anyway, Tandi. Eventually, he’ll get used to it.”
Tandi faced Jared. “If my father doesn’t want a housekeeper, he won’t pay for one, and I am not about to, and Glynn won’t do anything Daddy doesn’t want him to do.”
“Then you don’t have anything to lose. Don’t go over there anymore. Besides, whenever you spend time over there, you come home upset. You should just stop going, period.”
“You’re right. I need to put an end to being used there, and here, too.”
This was where Jared’s unreadable trial face worked in his favor. He didn’t blink, he didn’t frown, he didn’t let Tandi see she had blindsided him and left him speechless.
Sidling over to the sink, Tandi again turned her back to Jared. He was no different from Glynn or her father. They were all using her.
“Tandi, I’m not using you.”
“Oh no, you wouldn’t think so—you’re the user.”
Jared shot up from the table. “It’s too damn early for this. I have to get to work. What’s taking that boy so long?”
Turning on the water, Tandi rinsed the pot she had cooked the oatmeal in and placed it upside down in the dishwasher. She had been wanting to say that to Jared for a long time.
At the bottom of the stairs, Jared shouted, “MJ, get a move on!”
Damn. He had hoped talking about Tandi’s father would take her mind off why she was angry with him. Instead he had dug a deeper hole for himself. The situation had gone from bad to disastrous and he didn’t know what to do to reverse it. Going back into the kitchen, he saw Tandi was about to close the dishwasher door. That’s when he remembered his juice glass. He scooped it up, and reaching around Tandi—touching her on the arm—went to put it in the dishwasher. Tandi quickly stepped an arm’s distance away from Jared.
“Damn,” he said. “Tandi, is it like that? I can’t touch you?”
She said nothing.
Jared went ahead and placed his glass upside down on the rack alongside MJ’s. “Are things that bad between us?”
She felt it had to be said, and she did with a cold, unflinching stare.
/>
“What do you want me to do, Tandi? Will getting away, going on vacation, make you feel any better?”
“Not anymore.”
That hole was getting deeper and harder for Jared to climb out of, but he wasn’t about to give up. “Look, you already know that July and August are slow months in the courts, but I still have cases on the docket. I haven’t told you, but I’m planning on hiring an additional attorney and a secretary. I can get a lot done this summer if I don’t close the office. If I do, come September, I’ll be running in place trying to catch up. But next year—”
“Forget it.” She went back to packing Michael Jared’s lunch bag with an orange soda, three vanilla cream cookies, and an apple.
“Tandi, just because I can’t go on the cruise doesn’t mean you can’t. Take whatever money you need from the savings account. Take MJ and go. Have a good time.”
She cut her eyes at him. “In other words, you’re telling me to take my pubertal eleven-year-old son along as my escort. Need I remind you, Jared, that this is an adult cruise, couples, as in husbands and wives, boyfriends and girlfriends? So, while other couples are hugged up and gazing at a picturesque sunset from the deck of the ship, am I supposed to be tucking in my son and doing the same for myself with a boring book as my sole companion?”
“Damn, Tandi, I—”
“I said, forget it,” she said, flipping her hand at him. “Obviously, you don’t understand that I, and most women for that matter, whether they travel with their children or not, would rather have a man, a lover to wrap themselves around.”
“This is bullshit!” He’d had enough. “Tandi, most women would be glad to have a man who opens his wallet and tells his wife she can travel around the world.”
“In that case, I’d rather be a single woman. I’d rather enjoy myself on the cruise without guilt or a gold band.”
“What the hell does that mean?”
“Do I have to spell it out for you?”
“Damn right.”
“I’m ready,” Michael Jared announced, coming back into the kitchen.
Tandi glanced over at Michael Jared standing in the doorway. His backpack, loaded with books, was draped over his left shoulder. There was that worried look in his eyes as he looked from her to Jared.
Jared took a set of keys from his pants pocket. “Here,” he said to Michael Jared. “Unlock my truck and put the key in the ignition.”
“Oh, boy!” Michael Jared eagerly took the keys from Jared’s hand. He turned on his heels to leave.
“Jared, I don’t want him to put the key in the ignition.”
“Mommy!”
“He can do that. He’s not gonna turn the engine over—right, MJ?”
“I’m not stupid, Mommy. I’m not gonna start the truck.”
Tandi hated this. She hated being the bad guy. “Fine. I’m out of it.”
Michael Jared again started to leave.
“Did you forget something?” Tandi asked.
Michael Jared turned back.
Tandi waited expectedly for Michael Jared to kiss her.
“Oh.” He hurried to Tandi and kissed her on the cheek. “Ain’t I getting too big for this?”
She handed him his lunch bag. “No, and be at the gate at three-ten sharp. Don’t make me have to come looking for you.”
“Mommy, when you gonna stop treating me like a baby?”
“Get smart with me, it’ll be when elephants fly.”
Michael Jared had already turned away when he mumbled, “Dumbo already did.”
“I heard that, smart mouth.”
Watching the two of them, Jared could not have smiled if he wanted to. He was worried about what Tandi had intimated. He waited until MJ raced out of the room and he heard the front door slam.
“Spell it out.”
Tandi grabbed a sponge. She began swiping quickly across the length of the already clean counter. “I want a divorce.”
“Because I can’t go on a damn cruise with you, you want a divorce?”
From where she stood at the end of the counter, Tandi tossed the sponge into the sink. She watched it bounce off the side of the sink back onto the counter. “If it were just about the cruise, Jared, we wouldn’t have a problem.”
“What is our problem, Tandi? Tell me so I’ll know.”
“You, Jared. You’re the problem. You don’t give a damn about anything but yourself and your little law practice.”
“That little law practice keeps our bank account fat and us in this house.”
“Jared, our bank account won’t disappear if you brought in less money, and this house? You’re rarely in it. Michael Jared and I practically live here alone. And you know something else? You probably have more passion arguing a case than you ever did fucking me in bed.”
If a sledgehammer had slammed him in the chest, Jared could not have taken the blow better than Tandi’s harsh words. He looked at her just as hard as she was looking at him. “You’re going for the jugular, I see. Maybe if I could get past your whining and complaining, I could fuck you with some passion.”
Tandi’s glare was unrelenting. “All the passion in the world wouldn’t give you a leg up on fucking.” They scowled bitterly at each other. Until that moment, Tandi hadn’t realized how much she hated Jared. No, there was no saving this marriage. She wanted out.
“That isn’t what you used to say.”
“I was lying.”
Damn, how did we get to this point? I’m a lawyer for Christ’s sake. I’m supposed to be calm under pressure. “Tandi, what’re we doing? We need to calm down. We’re saying things that may be difficult to take back. Why can’t you understand that I work hard for you and MJ? Hell, I’m tired when I get home. Any other woman would understand and appreciate what I’m doing.”
“Then you should be with any other woman but this one. Why don’t you go to the woman you had the affair with?”
Jared knew it was coming, and still it was hard to take. “Say what you want, but I won’t let you take me into that argument again. I made a mistake, I’ve paid for it, and I’m done paying for it. This argument isn’t about that anyway. This is about you wanting to control me.”
“Again you’re wrong. I don’t give a damn about you.”
Damn, that hurt. “If that’s the case, what the hell are you bitching about? Would it make you happy if I close down my practice and stay home with you?”
“I don’t want you to do a damn thing except give me a divorce.”
Beeep! Beeep!
Tandi glanced toward the front of the house. “I told you I don’t like him being in that big-ass truck alone, but oh no, just to show me, you gave him the keys anyway.”
Jared decided to not take the bait. Every word he uttered was furthering the argument. “This is crazy.”
A part of Tandi wanted to rail against Jared with all the rage she’d held inside for the past three years, but she didn’t think it was worth it anymore. What she didn’t say before meant nothing now.
“I don’t want Michael Jared to be late for school, and I have to get to work,” she said, starting out of the kitchen. “I’m contacting a lawyer today.”
“So just like that, I’m supposed to give you a divorce and have no say in it.”
Tandi stopped at the door. “Oh, and Jared, I’m sure you won’t miss us, you have such a busy life. And since you haven’t had much to say about anything around here in years anyway, I’d appreciate it if you’d find someplace else to live.”
“This is my house. I pay the mortgage. I pay all the bills. If you wanna leave, go ahead, but MJ stays.”
Beeep! Beeep!
“Oh no. Michael Jared goes where I go. You never have time for him except for a Saturday afternoon when you take him into your office and even then your attention is on your work. I will not have my son here throughout the week by himself while you’re at work.”
“After school, MJ can come to me at my office.”
“I don’t think so.
My son will be with me. You can still see him once a week. I have no problem with that, and since you haven’t had a problem with it all these years, I’m sure the court will see it that way, too. By the way, you can have this damn house. I don’t want it.”
Beeep! Beeep! Beeep!
Tandi barely had time to step back out of the way before Jared pushed past her in the doorway and snatched his suit jacket off the banister in the hall. He went to the front door and yanked it open. “Lay off that damn horn!” He looked back at Tandi. “If you wanna leave, leave. My son? He stays.”
“We’ll see about that.”
“That, we will.” Strangely, Jared was suddenly calm. What was he worried about? He was a lawyer. He knew how to fight for what he wanted and besides, Tandi would never take MJ and leave. She had nowhere to go. Slipping his coat on over his jacket, he chuckled low and dry.
Jared’s chuckling made Tandi nervous. What he might be thinking worried her.
“Tandida, I love you, but don’t mistake my love for weakness. I’m not one you wanna try.”
“Is that a threat?”
Jared stepped outside and slammed the door behind him, leaving Tandi’s question unanswered. That really galled her. Was she supposed to be scared? Well, she wasn’t in the least. Jared’s threats were just like his promises, empty. He took the news just as she expected he would, heartlessly. If he’d gotten excited and started ranting and screaming, “Baby, I love you!” or “Hell no!” it might have been out of character for him, but she might have felt like he cared a little bit. It was ironic that he said he wasn’t weak, when that’s exactly what he was. He never argued, he always let her have her way, and he let her make all the decisions about how they spent his money and how she raised their son. She had grown tired of having to make all the decisions. Sometimes, most times, she wanted him to tell her what to do, or even what he wanted. Why did she have to decide what food he put in his belly 365 days a year? Or even when it was time for him to have new underwear?
If Jared was planning to give her a hard way to go in divorcing him because of the house, he was wasting his time. It wasn’t her dream house anyway. She’d gladly leave it and him behind; she could make it without him. On her job, she could ask for more listings and work full time. With her savings, she could get a nice little apartment for herself and Michael Jared. No court would give Jared custody with his work schedule.
Distant Lover Page 3