Distant Lover

by Gloria Mallette

  Since that long-ago day when she and Jared first made love, Tandi had not been with another man, and she and Jared had not made love, serious love, in a very long time. No, she definitely could not go to bed with Brent tonight. She wasn’t ready.

  Brent squeezed Tandi about the waist. “I like the way you feel.” He drew her closer.

  “Oh, I’ve gained so much weight.”

  “Just the right amount of weight. I always thought you were too skinny.”

  “You did not,” she protested, hitting him playfully.

  “I did. I remember I used to be able to put both my hands around your waist. Baby, I used to think you didn’t have any ribs.”

  “I thought you liked me that way.”

  “No, baby, you liked you that way. I like what’s in my arms right now—a woman.” Brent began to sensually run his hand up and down Tandi’s back, each time getting closer and closer to her behind.

  The embers of Tandi’s desire were ablaze again. Whatever her misgivings, she wanted to be with Brent. She wanted to—no needed to—be made love to.

  “How about us going over to my apartment?”

  Oh, God, yes! Visions of Brent making love to her popped into her head, but just as quickly, Michael Jared’s face appeared before her eyes. “What time is it?”

  Brent checked his watch. “Eight o’clock.”

  “Darn,” she said, slipping out of his arms. “I have to pick up my son.”

  “Isn’t there someone you can call?”

  “No. I have to pick up Michael Jared myself.”

  “Baby, I have plans for us.”

  Tandi liked the sound of that—plans for us. “But my son—”

  Brent kissed her lightly on the lips. “If it wasn’t for your kid, I’d kidnap you.”

  “Believe me, I’d let you,” she said, feeling absolutely divine.

  Brent kissed Tandi again, this time tonguing her, devouring her.

  Forgetting that she was on a public sidewalk, Tandi gave herself over to the kiss she had dreamed so long of.

  “Ooo, Mommy, they’re kissing,” a little girl said, pointing at Tandi and Brent.

  “You people should be ashamed of yourselves,” the woman said, picking up her pace and practically dragging her daughter behind her.

  Embarrassed, Tandi couldn’t pull away, Brent held her captive against her car. He pressed his hardness into her. She wanted more. The kiss continued, passionately, exploring, intensifying Tandi’s desire. When Brent finally let up enough for her to breathe, he kissed her twice more on the lips before he loosened his hold on her—though not completely.

  “You feel so good.” He started to grind, stiffly and barely noticeably, his erection into Tandi’s stomach.

  Right there, in the dark, on a public street, Tandi throbbed and moistened. She couldn’t ignore the sweet pulsation between her thighs. She couldn’t ignore the tingly hardness of her nipples. She wanted the promise of how Brent was making her feel fulfilled. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down to her. She parted her legs so that she could feel him against her most private place. This time when they kissed, she matched his gyration, pressing just as hard against him. She began to tremble as her pulse quickened. Every nerve in her body awakened; she started moaning. Then suddenly Brent pulled away.

  “Baby. Oh, baby. We need to take care of this,” he said, pecking Tandi on the lips.

  With her eyes closed, Tandi lay her forehead against Brent’s chest. She was totally embarrassed but her body wasn’t. Tiny spastic impulses pulsed in her vagina, leaving her divinely weak.

  Shaking out his leg, Brent tried to push himself down inside his pants. “Man, I might not be able to walk.”

  Tandi touched him. His hardness was like a pipe. “Take me to your apartment.”

  “Are you sure? What about your son?”

  Again, Tandi dropped her head onto Brent’s chest. “Oh, damn.”

  Brent kissed Tandi on the top of the head. “I want you to go home with me, but—”

  “But?” she asked, surprised.

  “But you have to take care of your son. Besides I don’t think you’re ready for me.”

  She blinked. What happened? Had she missed something? Hadn’t she just engaged in dry fucking right out there on the street? She wasn’t ready?

  Brent kissed Tandi on the forehead. “Baby, I know how it feels to be just getting out of a relationship. It’s pretty painful and, for you, it’s still very new. I know you want to sort out your feelings about me and your ex.”

  “I pretty much know what my feelings are, Brent.”

  “Baby, when you come to me, I want you to be sure it’s me you want.”

  “Brent, I appreciate you being sensitive to my situation, but I know what I want. My reasons are clearly defined, and my feelings for you are very strong.”

  “Baby, the feeling is mutual. I’m letting you go tonight because I don’t want you to worry about your son. But know this, I want you so bad I can taste it.”

  He wasn’t the only one. Maybe she was moving too fast. “You’re right.” She drew back when Brent went to kiss her on the mouth. No telling what she would do if they kissed again. “Too dangerous,” she said, getting quickly into her car.

  “Is tomorrow too soon?” he asked.

  “Not soon enough.”

  “Good. Since you don’t want me to call you at your father’s, you can call me at my office or at my apartment.”

  “I’ll call you tomorrow afternoon.”

  “I’ll be waiting.”

  On her way to pick up Michael Jared, Tandi found herself humming a song that she didn’t even know the words to. She felt absolutely divine. Settling into her new life was going to be a whole lot of fun.

  20

  Jared couldn’t stop looking at his wedding band. For so long, it had been such a part of him he paid it no mind from one day to the next. With his thumb he twisted the band around his finger. It really was a part of him, but it meant nothing without Tandi. Earlier, if he hadn’t walked away from her, he might have brought his fists down on the roof of her car and pound it until she listened to him. Hours later he was still wound so tight emotionally he couldn’t concentrate on his work. He left the office much earlier than he had intended and took MJ home. When Tandi came for MJ, he sent MJ out to her. He couldn’t face her.

  He watched Tandi drive off. He watched her taillights until she turned out of the block. He stood in the doorway for a moment longer staring at the spot where her taillights disappeared and imagined that she’d suddenly appear there again, her mind changed, her love for him strong again. Wishful thinking. The corner remained dark. Giving up, he closed the door on the emptiness of the street only to find himself embraced by the same emptiness inside the house. In his den, he turned on the television and began channel surfing. Nothing held his attention. He tried to play a game of chess against an invisible partner. He was losing.

  Buzzzz!

  Jared immediately turned off the television and rushed to the front door. His hopes were instantly dashed when he saw it was Evonne standing where he had hoped Tandi would be.

  “I saw your lights. I hope you don’t mind that I stopped by.”

  He really did mind, but at the same time, he didn’t feel like being alone. “Come in. I’m having a grand ol’ time all by my lonesome.”

  “Jared, you don’t have to go through this alone.”

  He led Evonne into the living room. “Evonne, I appreciate you worrying about me, but you’re Tandi’s friend. You should—”

  “Jared, I’m your friend, too. Tandi is going to be just fine. She knows what she wants. You’re the one who needs a friend. If you need to talk, I’m here.”

  “Have you spoken to Tandi?” he asked, rubbing the back of his neck.

  “Yes. She’s getting ready to move into her new apartment.”

  He sat heavily in the armchair.

  “Jared, you knew about that, didn’t you?”

  “
Yeah, I knew.”

  “I have to be honest with you,” Evonne said, sitting down on the edge of the coffee table in front of Jared. “Tandi had planned on getting an apartment even before she left you.”

  Jared slumped against the back of the chair.

  Evonne lay her hand on Jared’s knee. “I’m sorry, but I thought you needed to know that. Tandi is wrong to be putting you through this.”

  “I should have listened.”

  Evonne began to lightly rub Jared’s knee. “Don’t be so hard on yourself. Tandi owns some blame in all this. She was selfish.”

  He looked at her curiously. “How could you say that? Tandi—”

  “Jared, hear me out,” Evonne said, taking her hand off his knee. “You need to open your eyes. Tandi is a very selfish woman.”

  He was confused. Next to Daina, Evonne was Tandi’s best friend. “I don’t know if I’d call her—”

  “Selfish? Believe me, Jared, Tandi is selfish. You gave her everything her heart desired; she wanted for nothing. I know this. She told me so. What you didn’t do was be at her beck and call, which was impossible.”

  “You understand that, right? I tried to tell Tandi that I had a practice to run, which I literally ran alone up until five years ago.”

  “Jared, I tried to tell Tandi that myself. I told her she couldn’t have everything. Jared, you don’t have anything to feel bad about. You gave Tandi a wonderful life.”

  “I tried to give her everything she wanted.”

  “Yes, but it wasn’t enough. Tandi would have always wanted more, and, to be quite frank, you would have never satisfied her—sexually.”

  Jared’s eyes popped. “What do you mean? I did just fine satisfying Tandi—before.”

  “Jared, I’m being honest with you. You should not be beating yourself over the head; Tandi isn’t. When you stepped out on Tandi, I believe you went looking for the love she wasn’t giving you.”

  “That’s not true. I didn’t go looking for any such thing. Tandi was giving me everything I needed, I just didn’t know it. That affair, literally, just happened. It was sexual tension that itched until it had to be satisfied. That’s all it was.”

  “Oh, I see. But even so, Jared, you could have been with Tandi twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, and she would have found something to bitch about.”

  He was dumbstruck. “I don’t get this, Evonne. Why’re you saying these things about Tandi?”

  “Because I want you to see your marriage for what it is.”

  “And that would be?”

  “Over. It’s been over for years.”

  Jared felt like he was being hit between the eyes with a sledgehammer. Words deserted him.

  “Jared, whether you realize it or not, Tandi’s behavior drove you into that affair. And forgive me if I hurt you with this, but Tandi left because she no longer wanted you. She told me that, many times.”

  All of his hopes sank like a canoe with a crater-size hole in it.

  “Tandi kept throwing that affair in your face because it gave her something to blame you for. Even when she was begging you to spend more time with her, she knew you couldn’t. She made demands you couldn’t meet, which gave her an excuse to walk out.”

  Was Evonne right? Had Tandi been looking for an excuse to end their marriage?

  “I’m sorry, Jared, but I had to tell you. I didn’t think it was right for you to pine for Tandi when she had no intention of ever coming back. In fact, she said it was time you both moved on and find happiness with other people. That’s what she’s done.”

  Jared sat forward. “What? She’s seeing someone, already?”

  Evonne again put her hand on Jared’s knee. “Jared, you can’t tell Tandi I’m the one who told you, but yes she is seeing someone.”

  Suddenly standing, Jared began to pace. “Damn! That quick? My God!”

  “Jared, you—”

  “Damn. She’ll be filing for a legal separation, won’t she? I can’t believe this.”

  Evonne stood also. “Tandi said—”

  “She didn’t tell me she was seeing someone.”

  “Do you really think she would?”

  “Who is he? Do you know him?”

  “I met him once about six months ago.”

  “Six months ago? Are you serious? She’s been going behind my back for six months?”

  Evonne nodded.

  Now everything was starting to make sense. Tandi was having an affair of her own. That’s why she walked out. That’s why she was throwing his affair in his face. That’s why she wanted a divorce. Jared sat wearily in the armchair. “I can’t believe this. What the hell am I supposed to do?”

  “Move on,” Evonne said, sitting down on the arm of his chair. “Look, Jared. I know you’re hurting, but you’ll get through this. You’ll be okay.”

  He didn’t see how that was possible. He bent forward, leaning down on his thighs, his hands hanging limply in between.

  Evonne began to slowly rub Jared’s back. “I know it’s hard to accept that it’s over between you and Tandi, but with time, you’ll be okay.”

  For the second time that day, Jared felt like crying. “It’s my fault. I messed up a long time before Tandi did.”

  “Jared, listen to me.” Evonne leaned into Jared. Her breasts were pressed into Jared’s shoulder. Slyly, she rubbed her nipples on him. “Tandi is my friend. I love her dearly. But you have got to ask yourself, do you need a woman who could not only have an ongoing affair behind your back, but walk out on you and take your son from you?”

  Jared was numb. He hadn’t considered that Tandi was cheating on him, that she had laid all the guilt for their marriage ending on his shoulders alone, that she had another man in her life.

  Evonne began massaging the tight muscles in Jared’s shoulders. She moved from one shoulder to the other and then both shoulders at the same time. Evonne’s hands felt good and although her massaging was beginning to make him feel uneasy, Jared didn’t stop her. She began massaging down his back.

  “Jared, your muscles are so tight. If you lay down on the sofa, I can get to your back better.”

  Clearing his throat, he sat back. “No, that’s okay. I feel a lot better,” he lied. “Evonne, I appreciate you talking some sense into me.”

  “That’s why I came over. I thought you should know the truth.”

  “Well, Tandi might not like that you told me the truth.”

  “She knows. I told her I would talk to you.”

  That made him feel even worse. “I guess she wanted you to get me off her back.”

  “Well, she just wants you to go on with your life.”

  “Thank her for me,” he said bitterly. “Never mind. I’ll thank her myself.” He started for the telephone.

  “No!” Evonne said, stopping Jared. “Let it go. If you throw this up in Tandi’s face, she might try and keep you from seeing Michael Jared. I know you don’t want that.”

  “I don’t want MJ in the middle of this. But if Tandi shacks up with the guy she’s seeing, I’m going for full custody. Hey,” he said, suddenly standing, “I feel like going out. Wanna go for a drink?”

  “Sure.”

  There was a powerful ache in his heart, but a strong, stiff drink would take care of that. Jared grabbed his keys, turned off the lights, and closed the door on thoughts of Tandi.

  21

  Being pulled gently out of the black abyss of sleep, Jared felt soft hands, feathery light, glide smoothly across his chest, then ever so slowly down past his stomach to his penis. He lay there, his eyes closed, his head swimming, his body feeling as if it was light enough to float. “Tandi,” he moaned, throatily, as his senses were aroused and tantalized by her nimble fingers. His breathing quickened, his body began to undulate, his head turned from side to side while his own hand went in search of her most erotic places, places that he knew very well. Far off in the distance, though she was as close to him as his own skin, he heard her panting breathlessly in his ear wh
ile her tongue flitted in and out of that same ear. He floated higher. It had been a long time since he had been so aroused. He felt as if he was soaring, like an eagle, free of any earthly hold. In the darkness he rolled on top of Tandi, entering her, taking her completely. In the beginning, and for years, she had always made him feel that way—so alive, so transported. They used to joke that because of their passionate lovemaking that the child they conceived in such fervor would genetically be implanted with the same passion. He wondered if MJ would carry that torch into his lovemaking. He’d be a lucky boy if he did—he’d be just like his daddy. Smiling to himself, Jared soared to even greater heights and burst through the clouds a happy man.

  Jared lay spent on top of her. She was breathing just as hard as he as she rubbed his behind with both her hands. Kissing her tenderly, he slurred, “Tandi, I love you so much.”

  If Tandi returned the declaration in kind, Jared didn’t hear her. Sleep drew him back down again into its black abyss where not even dreams penetrate.

  22

  Tandi considered driving away when she saw Jared’s SUV still parked in the driveway, but she had much too much to do. Inventorying the house was the first, most important, chore on her list. Jared knew she was coming—she had told him so—so this could only mean he had waited around to talk to her. This, she didn’t need, not after the restless night she’d had. It was just another of her many restless nights, but this time she tossed and turned because she ached to be made love to by Brent. If he could make her feel what she felt last night with their clothes on, damn, what would she feel if she was butt naked and he was inside her? No, she couldn’t sleep. She was too hot to sleep.

  That look of burning desire she saw in Brent’s eyes, she had not seen in Jared’s in years. Yet, she had to wonder if it was only sexual gratification she wanted from Brent. Was there more to be had or, in fact, was Brent capable of giving her more? Something had gone wrong in his two marriages that he had to bear some blame for, but how much blame was his? While she already knew what Jared was capable of, the question was, now that he was willing to listen, was he willing to give her what she wanted emotionally? Was she willing to give him another chance when Brent was her dream come true? Wait a minute. Why was she even thinking about second chances? Hadn’t she already given Jared a chance? Why was she even confusing herself with these questions?