Distant Lover

by Gloria Mallette

  Tandi sucked in her breath. Evonne had been stabbing her in the back, and she hadn’t even felt the blade going in.

  “I knew there was a reason why I couldn’t stand to be around Evonne,” Daina said, standing and kneading her sore behind. “Evonne is sneaky, she’s a liar, and she’s messy. And that’s the worst kind of person to let in your house. Which is why I believe Jared, Tandi. He would never lie to me. We know each other too damn well to play games. And that’s what Evonne is about, role playing. Tandi, Evonne didn’t just want your man, she wanted your lifestyle. Haven’t you ever noticed how she was always looking around your house like she wished it was hers?”

  That Tandi had seen Evonne do, but she had thought nothing of it since they were both in real estate. That was something she did also, look around houses she was in. If it were true that Evonne wanted Jared all along, how was it that she had not sensed it, felt it, known it?

  “In my opinion,” Daina was saying, “especially since you now know where Evonne is coming from, I think Jared deserves a chance to be heard.”

  Tandi wiped at her eyes before a single tear spilled over. “Yeah, but even before this mess with Evonne, I left Jared because I no longer wanted the loveless life we had together.”

  “Tandi, Jared knows that he let you down. He’s willing to do anything to make it up to you.”

  “I don’t think he can.”

  “It won’t kill you to let him try.”

  Not convinced that giving Jared another chance would make things right, Tandi lazily looked up at the full moon suspended high up in the sky over Queens. It was the brightest thing in the sky, yet it was unattainable, unreachable. Maybe that’s how Jared saw her—unattainable, unreachable. Maybe that’s why he wanted her back. But what if she went back and discovered that she couldn’t forgive him? She would hate herself for putting herself through that torment all over again. Her life and Michael Jared’s would be worse than before she left. She couldn’t do that to either one of them.

  “Daina, I know you believe in Jared, but at this time in my life, I just don’t.”

  “Understandable, but it’s not like you can’t get back to believing in him,” Daina said. “Tell me about Brent.”

  Tandi dusted off the back of her pants. “Nothing much to tell.”

  “That, I don’t believe. You wouldn’t be seeing him otherwise, so spill.”

  Tandi was pensive. What she needed to tell she couldn’t. “Okay, nosy. Brent was my first love.”

  “Nice.”

  “It could have been.”

  “Oh, it’s not going well? Do tell,” Daina asked, her eyes gleeful with anticipation.

  “Don’t sound so pleased.”

  “Oh, but I am. Jared could use a break.”

  “It’s not all about Jared, Daina. After being back in my father’s house, I’m beginning to realize that I have a whole lot of issues to deal with. There’s something in me that I need to figure out, something that I need to discover that will give meaning to my life.”

  “You didn’t find that something in being with your first love?”

  “Hell no.”

  “Why not? You’d been wondering about this guy for a while. In fact, I remember you mentioning a first love quite a while ago, but I don’t remember you saying his name was Brent. Did thoughts of Brent come between you and Jared? I mean like, did you—”

  “Haven’t you ever wondered what it would be like if you had gotten together with your first love?”

  “No! My first love was a jerk with zits the size of acorns on his nose and forehead that I’d known since junior high school. His big dream was to become an exterminator—a bug killer. I had a crush on him because he wore these tight, show-the-world-what-you-got dungarees, and I was a virgin looking for my first tumble with someone I figured was safe.”

  “How old were you?”

  “Eighteen and ready, but I had to turn the bug man loose real quick.”

  “What happened?”

  “When it was time to get busy, what he pulled out of his pants was smaller than the zits on his nose.”

  Tandi laughed. “How was that?”

  “He’d been wearing a stuffed sock in his pants.”

  Tandi doubled over laughing while Daina, trying not to laugh, quickly broke down and did the same. Standing out front of Sporty’s door, Tandi enjoyed the first laugh she’d had in months. She didn’t care if her laughter carried in the still of the night to every house on the block. It felt really good to laugh with Daina. Wiping her eyes, she climbed the stairs and hugged her good friend.

  “I’m so glad you’re home.”

  “Thank you very much,” Daina said, mimicking Elvis Presley, keeping the smile on Tandi’s face. “Now tell me about Brent.”

  “I’ll tell you inside,” Tandi said, pushing open the front door. “Brent—”

  “You a hateful old man!” a woman’s voice shouted.

  Tandi froze.

  “Aa don’t nee uneducated, wanna be nurse messin’ over me!” Sporty shouted back. “Get da hell out!”

  “Oh, God,” Tandi moaned. “Not again.”

  43

  “Mr. Belson, just ’cause I empty your filth, you do not have to treat me like scum! I just as good as you. In fact, I better than you. I never be nasty to a people who help me.”

  “You a lazy woman. Get out my house!”

  “I go gladly!”

  Tandi rushed into Sporty’s bedroom and bumped chest to chest with Elise on her way out of the room. They both grabbed onto each other to steady the other.

  “Elise! What’s going on?”

  Sporty answered, “I want her outta my damn house!”

  “This mon, here!” Elise shouted, pointing at Sporty. “Him a proud mon. Him will not use the bedpan. Him want to go to the toilet. If him sit up in he wheelchair more, it be easy to go to the toilet. I tell he him no need to use toilet just to water . . . him must use the bottle.”

  “You use it, goddamnit! I ain’t never gonna, you stupid woman!”

  “Daddy!”

  “Mon, you stupid.”

  “Stupid bitch!”

  “Stop it!” Tandi screamed. “Both of you!”

  “Him call me a bitch. I not a bitch!”

  “You are!” Sporty shouted. Saliva trickled out of the right side of his mouth.

  “Look at he,” Elise said, pointing. “God give he back him tongue and him use he words to be hateful.”

  “Go ta hell!”

  “This has got to stop,” Tandi said, looking to Daina for support.

  Daina was looking amusingly at Sporty. “Having a stroke didn’t humble him a bit, did it?”

  “It made him meaner,” Tandi replied, wishing she could twitch her nose and vanish into thin air.

  “Get her fat ass outta my house!”

  “Fat ass! You fat mouth!”

  “You’re a ugly—”

  “Daddy! Stop it! That’s enough!” Shouting like that gave Tandi an instant headache. “Elise, please, ignore him! Don’t play his game.”

  “Humph!” Sporty said. “She better not ignore me. She can’t tell me I can’t use the goddamn toilet. I been using the toilet since before she was born.”

  “You was not born of a woman,” Elise said. “You was spit from a rabid dog.”

  Daina giggled behind her hand.

  “You witch!” Sporty boomed, breathing hard. “You wasn’t born either. You was dug outta the ground.”

  “Oh, God,” Tandi said, “I can’t take this.”

  “You nasty old mon. You—”

  “Elise, please. Please go and wait for me in the front.”

  “Mrs. Crawford, him act up when you not home. Him hold he water a long time till him ’bout bust then him want to make me rush he to the bathroom. Then when I make he use the bottle, him make me go out the room.”

  “Whatcha wanna do? Stay and look at my dick?”

  Daina doubled over with laughter. Tandi hit her, but Daina couldn’
t stop laughing.

  “I really can’t take another minute of this,” Tandi said, feeling a vicious headache coming on.

  “See! Him dirty, dirty man, Mrs. Crawford. When I come back to he room, him done spilt he water on the bed and him cuss me like it be my wrong.”

  “It is, you ugly woman! I told you—”

  “Who you call ugly? You ugly! Inside you self and out.”

  “Go ta hell!” Sporty shouted. He started trying to pull himself off the bed. He failed, falling onto his left arm.

  “See, look at he. He cannot get up and he cuss the hand that help he.”

  “Bitch!”

  Hearing it all, seeing it all, Tandi wanted to scream. She wanted to turn on her heels and run out of the room, out of the house and never look back.

  “Mon, you lame like a old dog!” Elise said, taking one step toward the bed. “I can hurt you bad and you not be able to defend yaself.”

  Daina howled with laughter.

  Tandi hit her harder. “This isn’t funny.”

  Nodding repeatedly, Daina began coughing with laughter.

  Sporty tried again to get up. “You threatenin’ me? I’ll get up out this bed and knock you out!”

  “Stop this,” Tandi ordered. She went to the bed and pushed Sporty back down.

  Elise had her fist balled up. “I get you first!”

  Standing between Elise and the bed, Tandi put out her arm to stop Elise from getting closer to Sporty. “I said stop! Elise, please go into the living room.”

  “This is getting ugly,” Daina said, no longer laughing. She said in a hushed voice behind Elise’s back to Tandi, “Let her kick his ass.”

  “Daina, this is serious. You’re not helping me one bit.”

  “This is not funny,” Elise said angrily.

  “You’re right, Elise, I’m sorry,” Daina said, now in control of herself.

  Tandi eased Elise away from the bed. “Please go into the living room and wait for me.”

  Sporty wasn’t through. “You need to go back to whatever island you come from. I don’t want you in my house cooking no goat.”

  “You evil, evil mon!”

  “Okay!” Tandi shouted, putting up her hands. “Enough!”

  Elise pointed a shaky finger at Sporty. “You will never get out that chair. You a nasty mon. God’s punishin’ you.”

  “You ugly witch!” Sporty shouted, his jaw shaking.

  “You toad!” Elise shouted back. She started for the bed.

  Daina caught Elise by the arm, holding her back. “Elise, he’s not worth it. Let’s get out of here.”

  “Who the hell is she?” Sporty asked, noticing Daina for the first time. “What’s she doing in my house?”

  Daina smiled prettily. “It’s so good to see you again, Mr. Belson.”

  “I don’t know you.”

  “Maybe that’s a good thing,” Daina said, ushering Elise out of the room. “Elise, wouldn’t you like something to drink?”

  “I will not drink nothin’ from this house—it will be bitter.”

  “Get her out my house!”

  “I go on my own!” Elise shouted from the hallway.

  Tandi slammed the bedroom door shut. She rushed back over to the bed. “What’s wrong with you?” She wanted to slap Sporty hard across the face. He must have sensed that; he looked at Tandi as if to dare her. She clamped her jaw tight to keep from saying she wished he had died.

  “Elise, forget about him,” Daina could be heard saying outside the bedroom door.

  “I will never come back to this evil house!”

  Sporty shouted at the door, “Go to hell!”

  “You be there first!” Elise shouted back, her voice farther away down the hall.

  “I’ll send you there tonight!”

  Tandi hit the bed hard with her open hand. “Daddy!”

  “That woman don’t know me! I’ll—”

  “Daddy, stop it! What’s wrong with you? Have you lost your mind?”

  “I don’t need her,” he snarled, and then as an afterthought, “Who’s that other woman?”

  “She’s not your concern.”

  “She is if she’s in my house. She could be a thief.”

  “You would think like that, wouldn’t you?” Tandi said, her patience completely shot. “Daddy, if you know like I know, you best be worrying about whether or not Elise walks out of here.”

  “The hell with her!”

  “No, it’s going to be the hell with you, you crotchety old man. You can’t do a damn thing for yourself. You need someone here. This is the fifth home health aide you’ve run out of here in three weeks.”

  “I can take care of myself.”

  “You can, huh?” Tandi stepped back from the bed. “Show me what you can do.”

  Sporty scowled at Tandi. His chest was heaving, but he didn’t attempt to move.

  Tandi was nauseated by the saliva that dribbled down his chin onto his T-shirt. But she was not about to clean him up. “Daddy, I’ve had enough of your tantrums. If you could do anything for yourself, you would have gotten up off that damn bed and gone to the bathroom your damn self. That’s why Elise is here. She is supposed to be helping you. Would you please let her?”

  “You stood by and let that woman talk to me like I was an idiot.”

  “No, I stood by and let both of you give me a goddamn headache. Daddy, the agency is getting tired of having to replace health aides that you’ve abused. I’m telling you right now, if Elise leaves and the agency can’t replace her, I’m leaving you in this damn house by yourself to rot.”

  “Go ahead,” Sporty said, turning his head toward the window. “I don’t care.”

  “Oh, you care. That’s why you’re more bitter than ever,” she said, moving to the foot of his bed. “Daddy, here are the facts. You had a stroke. It disabled you. It partially paralyzed you. Well, too bad. Shit happens. Get over it. Whether you accept it or not, it’s your own fault. You never stopped smoking, you never stopped drinking, you—”

  “I did!”

  Tandi gripped the heavy wooden footboard. “For how long? A minute?”

  Clenching his jaw, Sporty glared at her.

  “You never took your pressure pills like you were supposed to, you ate what you wanted, and in the end, you played with a loaded gun and shot yourself. And now, you have the nerve to be angry at everyone who tries to help you because you hate that you can’t do for yourself. You give the physical therapist a hard time, you give the health aides a hard time, and you give me a hard time. The only person you didn’t abuse was the speech therapist, and that was because you wanted to speak again so that you could be nasty to the rest of us. But I got news for you, damnit, I am not putting up with your nastiness anymore. I am not letting you abuse the people who are here to help you. And understand this, old man, if I leave, Glynn is not going to come and take care of you. You will be put in a nursing home so fast you’ll think yesterday is today.”

  Sporty mumbled, “I ain’t going into no damn nursing home, and you can’t put me in one without my consent.”

  “You wanna put a bet on that?” Tandi leaned toward Sporty. She waited for him to retort. He didn’t. “If you make one more health aide run out of this house, you will be put in the worse nursing home I can find. And there are plenty of those out there where you will be strapped in your bed, twenty-four-seven, fed through a rubber tube up your nose, and by the time someone changes your diaper, trees will have taken root.”

  “You can’t do that.”

  “Oh yes, I can. Try me. It would give me great pleasure to make that call.” She could see the defiance in Sporty’s eyes wavering.

  “Glynn . . . Glynn will never let you put me away. I know he won’t.”

  Tandi heard the uncertainty in his voice. “You must be trying to convince yourself because I know different.”

  Closing his eyes, his tongue mute, Sporty lifted his wet chin slightly. He was trying to shut Tandi out, but she knew his ears were w
ide open. “Look, old man, all of the health aides have told me you’re worse when I’m not here. You better get over yourself because I’m tired of you acting like a tantrum-throwing two-year-old who acts up when Mommy’s not home. I plan not to be around here much longer, so you had better get your act together and learn to behave.”

  Sporty’s eyelashes didn’t flutter nor did a muscle in his face twitch.

  “Now, once again, if Elise quits, I am going to have to beg, shamelessly, for another health aide. When that one comes, you had better kiss her ass and pray she’s not offended by the feel of your lips. Because if she is, you’re out of here. Do you understand me?”

  Sporty continued to hold his eyes closed, which was just fine with Tandi. Stubborn, hateful old man. He wouldn’t give an inch to a runaway train if it meant he had to lose ground. For sanity’s sake, she had to get away from him once and for all.

  She looked at the large wet spot on the bed. This she was not going to clean up. Maybe if he lay in his own pee the rest of the night, he’d take her threats seriously. Looking again at his face, she knew that wasn’t likely. Disgusted, she flipped her hand hard at him and stomped out of the room.

  44

  Tandi found Daina sitting with Elise in the kitchen over a cup of tea, which she hadn’t touched. “Elise, I am so sorry my father said those terrible things to you.”

  “I never work with such a mean mon,” Elise said through her weak sobs. “How can a sick mon be so mean?”

  “Humph,” Daina said. “You think he’s mean now, you should have seen him when he was well. He used to scare away flies, and you know how hard it is to get rid of flies.”

  That frightened Elise. “I will not work here.”

  “Daina, you’re not helping.”

  “I was just trying to lighten it up around here. My goodness, it’s so tense in here.”

  “Don’t help me that way,” Tandi said, pulling a chair closer to Elise and sitting. “Elise, please, could you stay tonight—”

  “No! I will not!” Elise exclaimed. “I cannot.”

  “I don’t blame you,” Daina said.

  Tandi pointed a warning finger at Daina like she was a naughty child. She looked back into Elise’s angry, teary eyes. She took Elise’s hand and held on to it tightly.