Freeing Liberty

by J. M. Paul

I lifted my hand and brushed it against his cheek. “I appreciate it, I really do, but I want to be alone. I feel like I might get sick, and I just don’t think our relationship is at the point where you need to hear or see that part of me yet.” I gave him a small smile. “Plus, I just want to sleep.”

  “At least let me walk you back to the hotel,” Bax pleaded. “It’s not safe by yourself.”

  “I’ll grab a cab and text you as soon as I get there.”

  He released a frustrated breath. I knew he was battling with himself and what he thought was right against what I wanted.

  “Promise?” He leaned in to rest his forehead against mine.

  “Promise.”

  Tilting back, he brushed more hair off my clammy face and kissed my temple. “Feel better, Ad Lib, and text me if you need anything, okay?”

  “That’s my second promise.” My innards gurgled, and I cringed. “Ugh. I need to go. Have fun, guys, and I’ll see you tomorrow morning.” I waved and headed off toward the first cab I saw.

  With the cool water beating against my head and back, I swore, I purred.

  This must be what heaven is like.

  When I had gotten back to the hotel room, I had texted Bax, turned the air-conditioning on high, and then collapsed onto my bed for about ten minutes. As the coolness had caressed my skin, I had slowly felt better and hadn’t ended up getting sick.

  When I rinsed my hair, I turned off the water and toweled myself dry. I put on the softest pajamas I owned—an old T-shirt and boxers—and ran my brush through my wet hair. When I reached for my makeup bag to grab my moisturizer, it was missing.

  “Why does it keep moving?” I looked around the bathroom and didn’t find anything. “I just had it this morning…” Shaking my head, I stepped out of the bathroom and immediately froze in place.

  Something seemed off. I wasn’t sure what, but there was definitely a different feel to the room.

  I shook my head, trying to clear the nonsense. It’s probably just residual effects from being overheated.

  Rifling through my suitcase and mumbling to myself, I came up empty-handed again.

  “What the frack?” I stomped my foot and turned, searching the room for a place I hadn’t looked. A shiny object on the nightstand next to my bed caught my attention.

  Narrowing my eyes, trying to see better in the low light, I walked closer until I could clearly make out the item. When I did, my fingers instantly went to the middle finger of my left hand. When I found my ring still in place, my stomach plummeted, and my heart started to race. I tried to gulp in breaths, but they felt like they were getting lodged in my throat. The room slanted, and my knees wanted to give out.

  No. This can’t be happening. I must still be sick, and my mind is betraying me.

  With an unsteady hand, I reached for the object on the table. When I came in contact with the cold metal piece, I whimpered and dropped on the bed when my knees really gave out.

  Finding the courage to look down at the object, my whole world crashed around me when I found Jarrod’s Claddagh band in my palm. The very one Joel had stolen from me the day he cornered me on campus before I left on this trip.

  He’s here. Joel was in my room.

  My eyes lifted and frantically searched the room. When I heard the balcony door slide open behind me, I froze and knew everything in my world would change in an instant.

  “Libs.” The single word was said with disdain.

  The blood drained from my face, the hair on the back of my neck stood erect, my shoulders tightened, and my breath was bursting in and out of my lungs so fast that I thought I would pass out.

  Something thumped beside me on the bed, and when I had the courage to look over, I saw my makeup bag had been tossed next to me.

  Squeezing my eyes closed, I tried to remember all the steps Bax had taught me about self-defense. He’d told me I would panic when I was threatened for real, but I’d need to keep calm and remain in control of the situation.

  Easier said than done.

  I took a steadying breath, slowly stood from the bed, and turned to face my nightmare that had followed me into my waking hours.

  The Devil himself stared back at me, and my heart compressed in my chest. I hated Joel without qualms, but it also hurt to look at him for a completely different reason. Physically, he was everything I had loved. He was Jarrod’s identical twin, and my grief sometimes caused me difficulty when trying to separate Jarrod from Joel in my mind. My love for Jarrod had been so fierce and innocent that it hurt to look at the person standing before me. I so desperately wanted it to be Jarrod and not the guy who had made all my fears come true.

  But I couldn’t think that way. I had to stand up for myself, to make Joel think I was no longer afraid of him, and that he didn’t have power over me anymore.

  “Joel,” I sneered as I ran my eyes up and down his physique in abhorrence.

  He looked horrible. The golden-blond hair that used to be the exact same color as Jarrod’s seemed to be almost brown from dirtiness. His clothes were stained and wrinkled, and the stench permeating off of him almost knocked me over, even from this distance. But those piercing blue eyes, which were my favorite aspect of Jarrod’s, pinned me to the spot and made a chill run down my spine. They really were from the depths of hell and didn’t seem to house any saneness behind them.

  “What are you doing here?” I tried to ask with indifference, but the waver in my voice gave me away.

  “I came for you.” The four words were said with assurance and finality.

  “H-how did you know where I was?” Keep calm, Libby. Don’t let him know you’re shaken.

  “Your phone, Libs. I installed a tracking app on it in case you were stupid enough to take it with you.” He shook his head and tsked at me. “And you were.”

  He was sweating profusely, and his eyes darted around the room, almost as if he couldn’t focus on one thing for long. When they did look back at me, I saw hate, anger, and another emotion I couldn’t decipher, but I knew it wasn’t good.

  He took a step closer, and I couldn’t help myself. I retreated. Joel’s mouth lifted at one corner, and the smirk set fire to something within me.

  “You shouldn’t be here, Joel. You need to leave now.” I fisted my hand at my side and tried to steady myself for whatever he was going to throw at me.

  He looked down to my heaving chest and then back up to me. “I don’t think I will, Libs. You left when you said you wouldn’t. For three months, you’ve been running all over the country, whoring yourself out to that tatted bastard. It’s time you made it up to me, my little Libs bitch. I’ve been awfully lonely, sugar, and you don’t want me to tell my parents or the police about what you did to your family.”

  Joel took another step closer, and I was too shocked to let it register and step farther away.

  “Th—” I had to clear my throat and start over. “Those are old threats, Joel, and they won’t work like they used to. I’m a different person now. I’m stronger, and you can’t threaten or intimidate me anymore.” I was surprised at how sure that sentence had come out.

  Maybe it’s because you finally believe it.

  Before that thought had a chance to register, Joel growled, “Famous last words,” and lunged for me.

  Everything Bax had taught me about defending myself flew out the window as I watched Joel charge toward me. His face was contorted in an evil mask I had seen him wear more times than I could count.

  I struggled against my brain’s immediate reaction to shut down, to go numb. It had been my number one survival instinct back when I lived with the Manors after my parents had died and Joel started hunting me on a regular basis. If I went numb, it’d tend to go faster, and I always held hope I wouldn’t be able to recall what had happened. But, try as I might, it never worked. I always remembered the pain and heartache of having my choices stripped away from me.

  Before I could register his movement, Joel had me restrained against the wall, one hand gri
pping my hair as the other tightened around my neck. A small cry of shock gurgled in my throat. He had never come after me so quickly. It always seemed most of the enjoyment for him came from the hunt.

  “You cunt. Did you think you could get away from me so easily?” He yanked my hair, and I yelped. “I think you forgot that you belong to me, and it’s time I remind you.”

  A hard crack against my temple from Joel’s elbow had a pain searing my skull and blurring my vision. As the sting of the blow rippled out from my skull and across my face, I felt the skin split at the corner of my eye. I gasped as warm blood trickled down my cheek and snaked along my jaw.

  In the past, Joel had been relentless in his pursuit of me, but he had never been so violent. Blows to my face would leave marks, and bruises would invite questions he didn’t want people asking or me answering.

  He leaned in close. “Why did you lie to me, Libs? Did you think I wouldn’t come after you?” he spoke the words through clenched teeth, his spit spattering against my face.

  Through the pain radiating in my head and eyes, I clenched my fists and thrashed them against Joel’s chest in an attempt to make him loosen his grip. He was starting to choke me, and the lack of oxygen was making me light-headed.

  Think, Libby. What did Bax teach you? Think, think, think…

  “Get off me, you prick. I hate you. You’re nothing but a lowlife loser who gets off on hurting me, and I won’t let you do it anymore.” Unclenching my hands, I lifted them and scratched my nails down Joel’s face.

  The red marks were dotted with blood. I had never been prone to violence, but at the sight of his marked skin, pride started to grow within me. This was the first time I had ever fought back.

  “Ah! You bitch!” Joel released my neck and lifted his fingers to his face. When he moved them back and saw them covered in blood, a look of pure hatred crossed his face. Eyes narrowed, he tightened his fist in my hair again and slammed my head back against the wall until I saw stars.

  “You little whore.” With his hand still tangled in my tresses, Joel tossed me across the room like a ragdoll until I hit the opposite wall.

  When he came at me again, I kneed him in the balls so quickly that my movement startled both of us, and Joel fell to his knees on the floor in front of me. I tried to run for the hotel room door, but he reached out and tripped me. I landed on all fours on the carpet next to him. Scrounging to get away, I tried to stand, but Joel was on me before I found my footing. He grabbed my damp hair and forced me back down.

  “I hate you,” I seethed as I tried to squirm away.

  He climbed over me, and I fought against his weight, but it was no use. He was too heavy, and I was too weak.

  “Get off me.” It came out muffled because Joel had my head pressed into the carpet so hard that I could barely move my jaw to speak.

  “You’re going to pay for that, Libs. And, oh, how I’ll love every minute of it.”

  Joel sat back and forced me to turn over so we were face to face. He pinned my wrists above my head with one hand, and the fist wrapped in my locks yanked my head back, so I was forced to look at him. I writhed against his hold, but he was too strong.

  I didn’t recognize the person glowering back at me. He was so far gone into his rage, it distorted his features to the point that he didn’t look sane.

  Not that he ever has.

  “You killed my brother and destroyed my family with your selfishness, you ran away from me, and now, you’re going to try to run again? Like none of that matters?” he snarled, fisting my hair tighter.

  As his poisonous words pressed into my head, he slammed my skull back against the floor. My world tilted, and nothing would come into focus.

  “It matters, Libs, and I’ll make sure you know how much.”

  With a rush of anger and adrenaline slicking through me, I used every ounce of strength I could muster to push him off of me as I tried to release his hands from my hair and wrists. It was to no avail. He wouldn’t let me go. My only defense was my words because his strength would defeat me at every turn.

  “You’ll never be Jarrod, Joel. Your parents will never love you like they loved their golden child, and you’ll always be a disappointment. And I can promise you that you’ll never have me. Maybe you can force yourself on my body to take things that would never belong to you otherwise, but you’ll never have me.” I gave him a jeering smile, even as tears slipped down my temples and into my hair. The salt from the moisture stung the cut at the corner of my eye.

  His piercing blue eyes—eyes that were so familiar and used to remind me of everything good—turned glacial, hollow, and reflected the darkness of a severe storm. Joel struck me again, and this time, the blow landed against my jaw. I choked as I felt my lip slice open, tasted the blood as it pooled in my mouth, and sensed warm liquid trickling down my cheek. A gasp tore past my lips, and the coldest smile hinted on Joel’s face.

  Gripping me tighter, Joel dragged me off the floor, slammed me back against the wall again, and pressed his chest and hips against mine. I could feel the hardness between his legs, and it almost depleted my will to fight. Nothing scared me as much as that part of his body pressing against me.

  Swallowing down the fear that coated my throat, I lifted my attention to Joel. He pegged me with a glare that promised his torture to me had just begun.

  Staring into the wicked soul of the person who had ripped everything from me, I battled through the nerves slicking through me and found the strength to lift my hand and plow it up into his chin. It made his teeth chatter, and I saw blood dribble from the corner of his mouth. A wail reverberated around the room, and I used his moment of distraction to try to get away again.

  I made it a few steps before he caught me. He grabbed my arm and forced me forward onto the bed. My face smacked the mattress, and a howl of pain ripped from my throat that had nothing to do with anything physical. The pain was internal, and there was no medicine or a Band-Aid that could heal the wounds.

  Joel climbed over me again, pinning me further into the pad, and I squeezed my eyes shut because I knew what would happen next.

  When he forced me to turn over, I opened my eyes and regretted the action. It had taken Bax almost three months to build me up to the strongest I had been since my life took a downward spiral, but all it took was one look from Joel to make it all come crashing down again.

  Restrained against the bed, my tired limbs didn’t try to fight because I knew that was what Joel wanted, what excited him. Knowing he could overtake me with his strength and power was his aphrodisiac. I couldn’t save myself from this, but I wouldn’t allow him to get pure enjoyment out of his evil act either.

  Joel started to peel my clothes off one layer at a time. Tears fell silently as he stripped me down to nothing—physically, mentally, and emotionally. There was nothing left for him to take, nothing left for me to give. This moment was the nail in my coffin. Whatever parts I had slowly pieced back together over the last couple of months—the insecurities and voids in my psyche that Bax had slowly filled with self-confidence—were stripped bare.

  Having nothing left to give myself or to fight for, I shut down. It was either let him do what he was going to do, or he would force me to do what he wanted. It was easier not to fight. I’d wake up with fewer scars.

  I succumbed to the numbness that set in. Detachment had been my shield since the beginning. As pain and hurt needled across my flesh with Joel’s fingers, I tried to imagine Bax’s loving nature surrounding me instead of the hate radiating off Joel. Bax’s voice was gently guiding me, building me up instead of tearing everything in me down and making it almost impossible for me to breathe.

  Unbuttoning his pants, Joel grabbed himself in his hand and tried to press into me.

  “Damn it, Libs. Open up,” Joel growled as he tried to push my legs further apart.

  But I wouldn’t let him.

  I guess I have a little fight left in me.

  My mind went back to imagining Bax whi
spering sweet nothings into my ear.

  As Joel tried to rock into my limp body without success, somewhere above the heavy fog my mind was lost in, I registered the sound of the hotel room door busting open, followed by Bax’s sweet yet angry voice.

  I must be in shock because Bax never speaks in an angry tone when he’s with me.

  In a flurry of commotion, Joel was ripped from me, allowing air to enter my lungs and my mind to focus. When my lids snapped open, I noticed frantic motion happening around the room. Everything was so fast, it seemed to be happening in a blur.

  I tore at the sheet covering the bed and wrapped it around my naked body. When I looked up, I saw Bax and Joel struggling with the other, limbs flailing. Bax punched Joel in the face, and Joel planted a fist into Bax’s side. They lost their footing, and both guys landed on the floor with Bax on top. They struggled, trying to gain control over the other. A loud thud echoed through the room, a grunt, and then silence.

  “Libby! Are you okay?” Carly ran over to me, her eyes roving over every exposed surface of my body.

  I gripped the sheet tighter, not answering, but keeping my attention trained on Bax and Joel.

  Bax stood, backing away with his hands in the air. “Hey, take it easy, man. There’s no need for weapons.”

  Weapons?

  Focusing my attention to Joel, I saw the silver knife he held flash against the dull light.

  Oh no!

  I started to move toward Joel—to do what, I wasn’t sure—but Carly wrapped her arms around me.

  “No, Libby. Don’t.”

  I felt her shaking against me. Or am I the one that’s trembling?

  A scream pierced the air as Joel lunged at Bax. He jumped to the side, and Joel rammed into the wall. Bax was instantly on Joel before he could turn around. Joel’s movements were sloppy compared to Bax’s. Knocking the knife from Joel’s hand and kicking it behind him, Bax restrained Joel’s hands behind his back, slammed his face into the wall, and punched him in the temple once. Joel’s body instantly went limp and slunk to the floor.

  “I got a call into security, chico.” Milo ran into the room, stopped, and looked at Joel’s flaccid body on the floor and then at Bax. “Nice work, amigo.” Walking over to Joel, he leaned over Joel’s body, spit at him, and kicked him in the side for good measure. “That’s what you get for messing with one of our chicas, cabron.”