by J. M. Paul
“Is this…are you…what is this?” I asked in a quivering voice.
“It’s a key.”
I gave him an I’m-not-amused glare, and his smile broadened.
“This is my apartment. I signed the papers today.” He stepped closer and took my hands. “You still live in Michigan, and I live in New York. I don’t want us to lead separate lives anymore. You graduated from grad school, so there’s nothing keeping you out there, and now…well, I want you to move in with me.”
My heart started to pound again but for a very different reason.
“I want to start a life with you, Ad Lib, together, under this roof, and in the same state. I know this place isn’t much, but I want us to make it a home. A home, Libby, something we both haven’t had in a very long time. A place where we can drop our worries and fears at the door and have a sanctuary.” His eyes moved around the room and landed back on me. “A place where you’re safe and I’m settled and nothing can touch us within these four walls. Nothing but love, trust, honesty, and hope.” His thumb rubbed over the inside of my wrist where the tattoo of an infinity sign and the letters H.O.P.E. were etched in my skin. A tattoo he also had marked on his shoulder.
Hold On, Pain Ends.
I had held on, and my pain had finally ended, thanks to Bax. He had shown me what a wonderful person he was and that I deserved more than I had given myself in a very long time.
Joel had ripped everything away from me, and while his lifetime sentence in a maximum-security prison would never bring my parents, sister, or Jarrod back to me, it allowed me the security to move on with my life, with Bax. I would never forget my loved ones—I carried them in my heart every day—but the thought of them no longer crippled me with pain. The memories I had created with them now brought a smile to my face and happiness to my heart because I felt I was finally a woman they could be proud to call theirs.
“Baby,” Bax said, drawing my attention back to him and what he was asking me, “I want you to quit holding on and let the pain end at this doorstep. With me. For us,” he whispered as he bent down so that we were eye-level. “Will you move in with me?”
I blinked in shock for several moments. Not at the fact that Bax was asking me to move in with him, but because he had purchased an apartment and was offering it to me almost as a present. I wasn’t sure how I’d ended up quite so lucky to call him mine.
When he had moved to New York last year for a job opportunity with a newspaper he couldn’t pass up, I had thought it would be the end of us. But we had promised each other we would work at making our relationship a priority, and we had. Bax had been flying out to Michigan for a weekend here and there, but I had been doing most of the traveling since I had a more flexible schedule while in grad school. When I had graduated three weeks ago, I hadn’t been certain what I would do, and Bax hadn’t pushed me into making any decisions. Honestly, he hadn’t mentioned anything about our future, and it had made me nervous. The only thing he had ever told me was he wanted me to be happy, and he would support me in any decision I made.
I had been crushed when he hadn’t suggested I come to New York to be with him permanently. But now, here he was, standing in front of me, not only asking me to move to New York, but to move in with him, so we could create a life together.
How can I say no to that?
“Yes! Of course I’ll move in with you. Yes!” I jumped into Bax’s arms, and he chuckled deep in his chest.
“Good, because that will come in handy for the next gift.” He kissed me deeply and then spun me toward the last table with the black box.
“Another gift? It’s not my birthday…” I loved the romantic notions, but I was confused as to why he was making such a big deal about all of this.
When I stood in front of the last table, unmoving, he laughed and shook his head at my absurdity. “Lift the box, silly.”
I did as he’d asked, and I was greeted with another white box that looked exactly like the box that housed the key.
“What? Did you get me a new car as well?” I joked even though I knew I wouldn’t need a vehicle in New York. Turning with the box in my palm, I froze as soon as I saw Bax.
Whoosh. All the air left my lungs.
He was bent on one knee and had the most beautiful smile gracing his lips.
“Wh-what is this?” I swallowed.
“Open the box, Libby,” he urged. When I hesitated, he said, “Please open the box.”
Slowly, with a shaking hand, I raised the lid and found it empty.
“There’s nothing in it.” When I looked back at him, he was holding up a silver band with a sparkling princess cut diamond in the middle. “Bax…”
“I’ve been waiting a long time to do this because I knew you weren’t ready.”
I saw his Adam’s apple bob, and I knew he was just as nervous as I was.
“We’ve been through a lot together, we know all of the other’s secrets and ugly and dark sides, and we still love each other, despite of it or possibly because of it. We’re similar in that we don’t have family left, and because of that, we treasure each other more. I want to be your family now, Libby, and I want you to be mine. I want to start our lives together, forever, in this apartment. I want to make you happy and to wake up to your smile and love in the mornings. But, most of all, I want to call you my wife.” He scooted forward, so he was right in front of me, on bended knee. “I promise to love you every single day for the rest of my life and probably beyond that. So, Liberty Daniels, will you marry me?”
I always thought it would be an instant yes when the man I loved proposed marriage to me, but I was wrong. It wasn’t an instant response. What came out of my mouth had been there for almost two years since we started dating.
“YES!” I yelled as I jumped on him before he could fully stand.
We tumbled back onto the hardwood floor, and I showered his face in kisses.
“Yes, yes, yes…” I kept repeating between my pecks.
When my soft kisses turned to something deeper and our mouths fused together, he groaned and pulled back, so he could stare up at me.
“You’re making me the happiest man alive, but you’re also ruining my proposal.” It was said through a giant smile.
“Well, maybe you need to take control of the situation, mister.” My cheeks hurt from my answering grin.
He reached down, pulled my hand between us, and placed the perfectly sized ring on my finger. It was gorgeous, twinkling in the candlelight, and looked like it was meant to be there all along.
“Do you like it?”
“I love it almost as much as I love you.” Dipping my head, I fused my lips to his.
“Wait.” He pulled back from me again, and I groaned.
“Come on,” I complained before flashing him a devious smirk, “I want to get to the celebrating part.” My eyebrows bobbed up and down.
“Fiend.” He used my word for him against me.
Sitting us up, he motioned around the empty space. “If you haven’t noticed, we don’t have any furniture.”
“Eh, the floor will do.”
Before I moved for him again, he put his hand up to stop me and shook his head.
“I didn’t want to purchase anything without you because, well, I want you to be comfortable here, and I don’t really care what’s in it as long as you are.”
My heart melted just a little more with that statement.
“But there’s another reason.” He sounded nervous again.
“What?” I asked very slowly.
Taking a deep breath, he looked me square in the eyes, but instead of seeing nerves, I saw delight.
“I got the photographer job at Time magazine.”
“What?” I yelled.
He laughed.
“Oh my golly, Bax! Congratulations!” I flung my arms around him and squeezed as tight as I possibly could.
“Thanks,” he said when I finally released my hold. “They called me today right after I signed on the dotted
line for this place. Instead of calling you when I found out, I wanted it to be another surprise.”
I popped onto my feet and started doing an uncoordinated happy dance for the love of my life. “You got the jo-ob. You got the jo-ob,” I sang up toward the ceiling.
“And so did you, if you’re interested.”
That got my attention, and I froze in place. “I hate to keep repeating myself but what?”
“I have the job on a trial basis for the next six months. I’ll be busy and traveling a lot—as you know, it comes with the territory—so I’ll need an assistant. When I found that out, I mentioned your name. My boss said he’d leave the hiring up to me since I would have to work very closely with whomever it was, and it was my reputation on the line.” He stood and sauntered over to me. “I want it to be you, Ad Lib. It’s a great opportunity for both of us, and just like the road trip we took, this will greatly increase your portfolio. Just imagine the jobs you could get—we could get with this on our résumés.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. This would go down in history as the absolute best day of my life. A large portion of me wished my family was here to see me, to help celebrate this awesome news. Though it was sad they weren’t here, I knew they were smiling down on me and celebrating in the finest place to have a party.
“So, what do you say? Will you be my wife and my assistant, so you can travel the world with me?” he asked so cutely that I couldn’t help but smile and give myself away.
So much for making him work for it.
“YES!” I screamed as I jumped into his arms again.
He was ready for me this time and only took two steps backward before I wrapped my legs around his waist and he spun me around the room. I held my arm out and observed my beautifully sparkling ring.
I couldn’t wait to call Carly. She and Milo—who had married last fall and were expecting their first baby—would be ecstatic for us.
“Is this seriously real life?” I asked when Bax set me back on my feet.
“Yes, baby, it’s seriously real life, and this is just the beginning.” With that, he leaned down and captured me in a kiss that set my heart on fire.
Bax had wrapped, bent, and woven his way into every empty crevice within me. Every crack divided by the hurt, pain, suffering, and loss I had experienced in my life was now filled with his love. He was my future, and his light shone so brightly through my darkness, that I knew Bax had to be a miracle sent to me from my family. And because of him, I was finally set free.
The End
If you are a victim of rape, incest, or violence or if you’re in an abusive relationship, help is available. Please find it. Talk to someone you trust, who believes in you and can help you leave or overcome an unhealthy situation. You are important, you matter, and you deserve to be treated with nothing but respect.
And, if you feel inclined, use your voice and be an advocate for others who are too afraid to speak out or are unable to for personal reasons.
We’re all fighting, but we are survivors and will overcome.
RAINN (Rape, Abuse, & Incest National Network)
800-656-HOPE (4673)
www.rainn.org
T.E.A.R. (Teens Experiencing Abusive Relationships)
866-331-9474
www.teensagainstabuse.org
The National Domestic Violence Hotline
800-799-7233
www.thehotline.org
To my readers—Without you, I wouldn’t be here, and I promise never to take that for granted. I cannot express how much your time, excitement, and loyalty means to me. I stand in awe of every single one of you, and I could never express my sincere gratitude. Big hugs!
There might be only one name listed as the author on the cover of this book, but I couldn’t have written it without the following two people:
Cathy Weeks—I would love you just as much if you weren’t my mom. I’m blessed to call you mine, and I cherish everything you are, have been through, have taught me, and have given up for me. If I decide to finally grow up one day, I hope I can be half the woman you are. I have one heck of a role model, supporter, cheerleader, and friend. I love you more than words could ever say. I think I hear the Smoky Mountains calling our names again. Is it time to plan another road trip?
Kim Bennett—I would love you just as much if you weren’t my sister. I’m blessed to call you mine, and I treasure our relationship, everything we’ve been through, and how it seems like no time passes when we’re together. We’ve put even more physical miles between us this year, but you’ve never been closer to me in my heart. You’ve helped influence who I am, and you have been there for me through everything. I love you, and I miss you every single day. Let’s plan a girls’ trip! I need more fuel for a story.
My beta readers—Thank you for your time and for subjecting yourself to the torture that was my first draft. You ladies enthusiastically and unselfishly dived into this project headfirst. Your belief in me, the characters, and the story pushed me to make it better. Hopefully, I did it justice…or Liberty. :)
Jeff Paul—You’re my rock, even when I want to throw you in the lake some days. :) I couldn’t do any of this without you. Thank you for being there for me, for keeping me grounded, and for always making me laugh. We suffered an excruciating loss this year, but we’re making it through it together. I love you beyond reason.
Becky Wyble—You’ve listened to me ramble about my writing more than anyone, and you’re always a patient sounding board. Thank you for pushing me to meet my deadlines, for encouraging me, and for making me laugh when I felt like I could pull my hair out. I couldn’t ask for a better boss or friend.
Amy Ballard—Thanks for understanding when I had to sneak away to write on our annual vacation. Darn deadlines! I promise not to schedule another book that will bury my summer in work next year…maybe. :) Having my number one BNB and bestie stand by my side through all of this means the world to me. Love you, my lifelong friend!
Kerry Clucas—I can always count on you to make me laugh, even at a funeral, and for that, I’m forever grateful. Because of your wonderful suggestion on a Facebook poll I did months ago, Chapter One is entitled “Suppression.” It was perfect and exactly what I wanted. Thank you for acknowledging my book birthday and for my gift. I freaking love you, Ker Bear! :)
Toni Clary—Thank you for passionately anticipating my next story, and for shamelessly helping me to get my name out into the world. Your encouragement means so much. When are we going back to Chicago? Love ya, girlie!
Darlene Watkins—Thank you for always being eager for my next story and for helping me get my name out. You rock, girlfriend! Love ya!
Carrie Manning—You were the first person to call yourself my fan, and that will forever be ingrained on my heart. Thank you!
Tracy Clucas—After you read my stories, I remember you immediately asked, “How can we market you better and get these books out to the people?” You’re always searching for ways to help me, and I love that about you. Thanks for everything, girlie. Love ya!
Sara S.—Your eagerness for my next story always brings a smile to my face and heart. You talk to me about my characters as if they’re living people, and you wonder what they would be doing today. I love that about you…among many other things. Thanks for building me up when authors are so used to being torn down.
Martha Walsh—I decided to use pennies in this story after a conversation I had with you. You always tell me things like it is, and thanks for sharing my stories with your friends. Word of mouth is a big thing, and I’m glad you have a big one. LOL! Kisses!
Ashley Faller—You’re always so positive about my writing adventures. Thank you for your excitement and for spreading the word about my stories to your friends and family. Also, I appreciate your effort to give me confidence, so I’ll break from my introverted shell to talk about and promote myself to the masses. Maybe it’ll eventually work one of these days. ;)
Ashley O’Connor—Muchas gracias (d
id I get that right?) for helping assure that Milo actually knew how to speak correct Spanish (any discrepancies were my mistakes, not yours). I owe you a couple of Starbucks drinks as thanks! I greatly appreciate your help and time. You rock, my Spanish-speaking friend!
Charlie Paul—Thank you for letting me sift through your well-traveled brain! The Dr. Seuss reference in the Seattle portion was from you because it was perfect and awesome. Love ya!
Mom Paul—I miss you every single day, but I’m happy you’re no longer suffering. Your thunderous laugh, excitement for the smallest things, generous heart, and unwavering love is forever ingrained in me. You might no longer be on this earth physically, but thank you for sending small signals to let me know that you still love me and support me from your new resting place. The signs always seem to come when I’m writing, and I know that’s your way of cheering me on as I chase this dream. I promise to look after Dad Paul and Charlie Paul, and I promise to take care of Jeff. No one will ever love your eldest son like I do. And no one will ever know how much you meant to me. I miss you. I love you. Thank you for so many things I could never express. Until we meet again, my sweet angel.
As always, thank you to my family and friends for their love, support, and understanding, even when I seem to drop off the face of the earth or zone out when we’re spending time together. It’s not you; it’s me! :) As always, I applaud you for putting up with my crazy self. XOXO
If you enjoyed this book or any others written by me, please don’t be shy. Share them with your friends, family, coworkers, or whomever because sharing is caring! And friends who read together have way more fun together…or something like that. :) Thanks!
J.M. Paul is the author of Last Summer and Last Chance. She is a native of Michigan and lives with her high-school-sweetheart-turned-husband and their two dog-children in the Mitten. During football season, J.M. can be heard cheering loudly and clapping from her home or at the stadiums of her favorite college and professional teams. She loves to be outside, never goes anywhere without a book, has a zest for life, and is always smiling.