With the Last Goodbye

by Len Webster

  Anger quickly filled her.

  She had told him that she didn’t want to see him.

  That when she returned, he should be gone.

  She glared at the beautiful pink roses in his hands and then stared at him.

  Why does he have roses?

  “They’re for your mother,” he explained.

  Josie’s body relaxed. They weren’t for her. If they were, she’d hand them back and tell him to leave.

  “I was hoping you could put them in her room for me,” Max added.

  Here.

  Right here.

  It was the exact place and moment Maxwell Sheridan broke her heart further than ever before because he only made her love him more.

  He was unfair to her.

  Completely and bitterly unfair.

  How she thought she could fall out of love with him was beyond her.

  Once you fell.

  You were suspended.

  And no heart could escape love’s entrapment.

  A rebellious heart could try but would never succeed and would eventually conform.

  Josie prayed that her heart could withstand him.

  Withstand Maxwell Sheridan’s defiance of her.

  “Can I walk you back?” Max asked.

  His question had her blinking at him.

  “What?”

  His smile softened as he stepped closer to her. “Can I walk you back to your mother’s room, Josephine? We don’t have to talk. I just thought you might want some company.”

  No.

  Say no, Josie.

  “Okay.”

  Oh, fuck.

  Josie mentally cursed herself and turned, already quickening her steps to put space between them. She felt incredibly foolish for agreeing, but that stupid heart of hers had a fraction of its tape peeled off. Enough was exposed for it to coerce her. While she thought she was outwalking Max to the elevator, he seemed to have other ideas and caught up with her easily.

  When they reached the elevator, Max pressed the up button. It would have been a lot easier to wait next to him if they were the platonic friends they had been at the very start.

  If she hadn’t known his touch.

  The power of his words.

  The intimacy of his love.

  Friends didn’t sleep with each other.

  Friends didn’t fall in love with each other.

  Friends weren’t what Josie and Max were.

  And they most definitely shouldn’t be stepping into an elevator together.

  An empty elevator where its doors closed and trapped them inside.

  But true to his word, Max didn’t speak.

  He stood next to her. Unable to help herself, Josie peeked up at him through her lashes. Max appeared uncomfortable. The deep frown on his face had her aching. She missed his smiles. Missed the way she could look at him and see his love for her. Now, she was too scorned to see if it remained.

  Too afraid to see it no longer there and meant for someone.

  Suddenly, the elevator came to a stop and the doors opened, ceasing her mind’s wandering thoughts.

  As if he could sense her staring, Max lowered his chin and glanced down at her. “You okay?”

  No.

  I’m not okay.

  Not in the fucking slightest.

  I’m so angry with myself for falling in love with you.

  I’m so angry with you for leaving.

  I’m so angry with you for disappointing me when I believed in you.

  Josie didn’t answer. Instead, she tore her gaze from his and made her way out of the elevator. She turned and went down the hall to her mother’s room with Max right next to her.

  Every second she was next to him was torture.

  Every single second was her closer to breaking.

  Every single second tore away her defences.

  When she noticed they were at her mother’s room, Josie stopped and turned to face him. Those brown eyes had that needy gleam in them. They also had flecks of regret and longing. Every emotion she felt, his eyes reflected.

  Max’s lips slowly parted as he handed her the bouquet. “Thank you for letting me walk you back. I wasn’t sure if she liked roses, but they were the nicest flowers they had.”

  Josie glanced down at the pink roses, and her heart had a fresh crack to it.

  So quick to break, so hard to heal.

  He didn’t make her stop falling in love with him. Unintentional or not, she was still falling—even though she knew what torture the fall was.

  “Thank you. I’ll put it next to her bed.”

  Max’s smile seemed broken and incomplete. Dropping a hand from the bouquet, she reached for the door handle.

  “Wait,” he pleaded, her fingertips brushing the metal.

  Max reached out, grasped her hand, and pulled it away from the door. Then he held it firmly in his, and her heart strained with rapid beats at his touch.

  “Max,” she breathed.

  Please don’t do this.

  Don’t beg.

  Don’t make me hurt over you.

  “I’m not saying this to get you to forgive me. I don’t want to take advantage of you, Josephine, because I know you’re vulnerable right now. I want to offer you my support because I love you and want you to know you’re not alone.” He squeezed her hand as she stared into those brown eyes. The truth in his words met his eyes. “I’ll give you space. But that doesn’t mean I’m giving up on you, Josephine. My heart hasn’t given up on you, and neither have I. If you ever need me, I’ll be out here waiting for you.” Then he dropped her hand and whispered, “It’s my turn to wait for you, Josephine Faulkner.”

  It was just after five p.m. when Max returned to his apartment. Josie’s best friend, Stella, had sent him home. Visiting hours were almost over, and Stella had told him that it was best if he wasn’t there when Josie left with her father. He complied, only so he wouldn’t cause any trouble with Josie’s father.

  “Max,” a familiar voice said as he pulled out his keys from his pocket.

  Max almost stumbled over his own feet when he found his best friend, Nolan Parker, outside his apartment.

  “Noel, hey,” he greeted once he reached him and began to unlock his apartment door. When he’d unlocked it, he pushed the door open and asked, “What’s up?”

  His best friend had a serious expression on his face that had Max straightening his spine. Max had seen his best friend through his very worst and his very best, and this cold expression on Noel’s face was one he hadn’t seen before.

  “Can we talk?”

  “Sure, come in. I can’t chat long, though. I have somewhere I’ve gotta be,” he explained as he led Noel inside, his best friend shutting the door behind them.

  Then they walked further into the apartment until they reached the open-planned living area that consisted of the kitchen, dining room, and large lounge room that faced the glittering waters of the Yarra River.

  Noel walked over to the large windows and stared out at the scenery. “I miss being back in Melbourne,” he admitted then spun around and faced Max. That cold expression simmered into one of understanding. “I know, Max.”

  He flinched. “What?”

  A smile tugged at his best friend’s lips. “I know you were attracted to Andrea.”

  “H-How …” Max quickly shut his mouth. He had been careful after that kiss with her. He and Andrea had shared emails and messages, but they had never touched after that kiss.

  “To be honest with you, I’m a little disappointed that you’re not in Boston right now.”

  Max shook his head, confused. “How did you know?”

  Noel’s brow arched. “That you were attracted to her, or that you kissed her while she was still my girlfriend?”

  Fuck.

  Max broke out in a cold sweat.

  Noel knew the truth.

  Noel knew everything.

  “Relax,” his best friend ordered with a hint of humour in his voice. “It’s okay, Max. I�
�m not mad.”

  “You’re not?”

  Noel shook his head as he glanced back at the view of the water. Then he returned his focus to him. “No. I’d be hypocrite if I were. I kissed Clara while I was with Andrea. I knew you were attracted to her the moment you met. But I didn’t do anything about it because I wanted to be with Clara. I wanted to be with the woman who is now my wife.”

  “Who told you that we kissed?”

  “It was actually one of the golf club workers in Scarsdale. Clara and I were visiting Alex and Keira. I dragged Clara out to the golf course so I could teach her how to swing a club. One of the cart drivers congratulated me on letting my ‘cheating’ girlfriend go and marrying someone a lot better. I was confused. I was sure he had me confused with someone else. But then he told me what he saw … and that’s how I found out.”

  “Noel, I’m—”

  “Don’t apologise, Max,” he insisted.

  “But why?”

  Noel let out a chuckle. “’Cause I’m not mad. Not when I found out and not now. Max, I’m married to the love of my life. Andrea is a wonderful woman, but she wasn’t who I wanted to be with. When I found out you could have something real with her, I was honestly happy. So when my boss said that Andrea was getting a promotion and would need help, I offered your name.”

  “You wanted me to go to Boston in hopes that … we’d get together?”

  “Yeah. I realised now that I shouldn’t have done that because you’re here and she’s there. Which only means you didn’t get on that plane because you have everything you want here.”

  Max nodded. “I couldn’t get on that plane. I couldn’t go and be the friend you wanted me to be. I was going to Boston for you. So you could forgive me when I told you I kissed Andrea. That’s all. It was one kiss. Then she never replied to any of my messages and I moved on. I met someone who understood all the parts of me I’m ashamed of. She loved me, Noel. And when I told her I was going to Boston, I saw her love for me just die in her eyes.”

  “You mean Josie?”

  Air fled his lungs. “How’d you know it was Josephine?”

  Noel smirked. “Julian has a big mouth. He didn’t mean to tell me. Clara’s shocked but is genuinely happy. She’s waiting until Josie tells her.”

  “Well, she probably won’t tell Clara anything. She’s made it clear that she’s fallen out of love with me,” Max explained through his crippling pain.

  “And you love her?”

  Max swallowed hard and nodded. “Completely, wildly, and honestly love her, Noel… but I let her down. And when she needed me the most, I wasn’t there for her.”

  Noel closed the distance between them and set his palm on Max’s shoulder. “Here’s the thing about love, Max …”

  “Yeah?”

  “When you’re in love with someone, you’re not immune from letting them down. Sometimes, you rush your decisions and actions because you think it’s what’s best for them. And sometimes one mistake can topple over everything you’ve put into building that love. But when you find someone who loves you the way you love them, you’ll find ways to make sure you make up for every little thing that has gone against you. And the only way you can do that is to be there for them and make sure they know you love them. Because if she doesn’t know how much you love her, know what you’re willing to do for her, then you’re letting yourself down, too.”

  “Marriage has made you wise,” Max pointed out.

  Noel let out a small laugh. “No. Learning from my mistakes is what made me wise. Everything I learnt from marriage has only made me a happier man. That’s why I could never be mad at you, Max. And I spoke to Rob; you already had my forgiveness even before you turned around and walked away from that plane. You went after your happiness.”

  “Thank you,” he said appreciatively. “All I have ever wanted was for you to forgive me. Now I just have to get Alex’s and tell him about Sarah.”

  His best friend dropped his hand from Max’s shoulder. “Trust me, Max. I can honestly say that you have never needed to get any forgiveness from Alex. He chose you when Sarah demanded he make a choice.”

  “He chose me?”

  “You’re his best friend. And him choosing you meant he was on track for a better life when he left for California. Then he moved to New York and met the love of his life. Seriously, if he had stayed with Sarah, he would have missed Keira and Will.” Then that smile of his faded. “And who knows, I might not have ever fallen in love with Clara. So stop feeling guilty, Max. I’m just glad you finally found someone you love. And since my wife loves her, then I approve of her. I’m a big fan of Josie’s.”

  Max had Noel’s forgiveness.

  He wanted Alex’s.

  And most importantly, he desperately needed Josie’s.

  “Ich liebe dich, Angelika. Ich liebe dich auch, Heidi,” her father said with a smile before he hung up the phone and turned to face Josie. “Sorry about that, Josephine.”

  Josie shook her head. It was strange and fascinating to hear her father speak such fluent German. He was actually fluent in five languages. It had been one of the reasons he studied international affairs. He never thought he’d get the role as an ambassador. And when he did, he was no longer her father, and years later, he became someone else’s.

  “Don’t be. What did you say to them in German?”

  Her father readjusted himself in his seat as if he were uncomfortable. Though he had been on edge since Stella and West left to return to the apartment, leaving Josie and her father alone. Jeff slipped his phone into his pocket. “I … uhh … told them I loved them in German.”

  “Why do you look so uncomfortable right now?”

  “I thought you’d be uncomfortable with me expressing—”

  Josie let out a soft laugh. “No. They’re your daughters, Dad. You don’t have to hide the fact you love them. I was just curious as to what you said to them.”

  Relief simmered in her father’s blue eyes. “I tell them ‘Ich liebe dich.’ I tell them I love them.”

  “That’s nice,” she said honestly. “I’m glad you do.”

  Her father reached over and grasped her hand that was resting on the arm of her seat. “I love you, too, Josephine. You might not be ready to tell me you love me, too, and that’s okay, but I am so proud of you. And I am so sorry you’ve had to go through all of this on your own. I loved your mother. So much. I still do. There are parts of me that Johanna will never have because I gave them to your mother and to you. I love my wife and daughters in Berlin, I do. But I also love you, Josephine, and I’ve missed fourteen years of your life making sure I didn’t miss all the years in Heidi and Angelika’s lives. I’ve neglected you and let it happen for far too long. Now you’re an adult, and I can never be part of the childhood you had without me.”

  The enormity of his revelation saddened Josie. He had missed so much of her childhood and teenage years. Her mother wanted her to forgive him, and Josie now knew that it was so they could share the next years of their lives together.

  But right now, Josie wasn’t ready to commit to a better relationship with her father. She wasn’t ready for potential disappointment. He had come through for her once. But once could be a fluke, a rarity, an anomaly.

  “Josephine,” her father said in a soft voice.

  “Yes, Dad?”

  He squeezed her hand once. “Johanna told me she emailed you.”

  Josie flinched, surprised that Johanna had. “She did?”

  “She did,” he confirmed. “While I was packing some clothes before my flight. Is Max the man you spoke of in your email?”

  She pulled her hand free from her father’s. Out of everything in her email, he focused on that? Not that she needed space from her absent father. Not that he had never invited her to meet her half-sisters. Not that she wanted to get to know his wife.

  Max.

  He got Max out of her email.

  “He was that guy. But like a lot of people in my life, he left and di
sappointed me. He turned his back on my love and chose another,” she said, hating the crack in her voice.

  “But he’s been here waiting all day for you,” her father pointed out.

  Josie nodded. “He has. But that doesn’t change that he left in the first place. He broke up with me after I found out that Mamma was going to be put on life support.”

  “Did he know?”

  “No. He does now.”

  Jeff sighed. “Josephine, give the man the benefit of the doubt. He didn’t know.”

  “What?” she blurted out.

  “He didn’t know.”

  Josie got out of her chair, appalled her father had sided with Max.

  He’s not wrong.

  She groaned at the little voice in her head. Stupid rationality was back. Her father was right. Max didn’t know. But that didn’t change anything. He still left. He still chose Andrea. He still used Josie’s love against her.

  “And if I had told him, he would have stayed for all the wrong reasons. He still went to the airport to leave the country with another woman. He decided to leave, Dad. You have no idea because you were Max! You decided for yourself without taking into account anyone else. Of course, you’d side with him.”

  “I’m not siding with him, Josephine.”

  She instantly felt awful for saying that her father was Max.

  No way was Max even remotely close to her father.

  Maxwell Sheridan was more of a man than Jeff Faulkner would ever be.

  A man who had wronged her just once and was trying to make amends for it. Her shoulders sagged at the thought. But maybe once was enough. Maybe once was enough to warrant forgetting him.

  Then Josie’s eyes locked with her father’s.

  Jeff Faulkner had wronged her more than once, and here she was, willing to accept him in her life. But not without the answers he’d deprived her of for years.

  “What did I do?” Josie asked her father with a sob.

  His brows furrowed as he shook his head. “I don’t—”