by Kendall Ryan
But now I was surveying my closet for an entirely different reason—since I only had a one bedroom apartment, this is where the baby would sleep. I’d have to have it remodeled to accommodate a crib and changing table and all the other unknown essentials a tiny human required.
Finally deciding on a skirt and cardigan combo, I headed toward the front door, steeling my nerves for what was sure to be an awkward date.
I couldn’t shake from my mind the memory of the slashes of Mason’s dark eyebrows pulled into a scowl this afternoon. I’d never expected to see him again, especially not with such an irate expression on his face. But his angry expression wasn’t what had shaken me to my core.
No.
It was unexpected, but that wasn’t what had me so shaken.
I couldn’t believe that of all the doctors in the city—Mandy had sent me straight into the stirrup-laden clutches of the one man I’d been trying so hard to forget. And during all the time we’d spent together, Mason had never mentioned what he did for a living. Even worse than the shock and awe was his massive effect on my already shaky body. Every line of his handsome face, every plane of his chiseled body, slayed me right through to my soul.
Those sapphire blue eyes framed in dark lashes had blazed on mine, and I’d been at my most vulnerable, unable to steady myself, wanting more distance between us. As if widening the physical gap would sever the magnetic pull I’d felt from the moment our eyes had locked across a crowded club. Even after I’d dressed and fled to the lobby, he’d given chase. A sturdy, square jaw dusted with stubble, and powerful shoulders that jutted out wide, then tapered down to a trim waist. The man was perfection, and that was without allowing myself to remember what was beneath those baby-blue scrubs. Placing my hand on my belly, I said a silent prayer that I could make it through this evening without succumbing to his charm.
I’d been through too much and couldn’t go down that road again. He may have missed the neon sign on my heart practically flashing Closed, and it would be my job to remind him. I wasn’t looking for anything. We’d had one night of fun, and now look where I was. I’d just have to put on my big-girl panties and deal. Like I always did. Ridiculously hot doctor be damned.
Chapter Seven
Mason
I didn’t feel right not picking her up and driving her to the restaurant like a gentleman. Hell, Bren could be the mother of my unborn child. But then, of course, nothing about this whole situation felt right—not my clothes, not the way it happened, and certainly not the way it might end up. But then, well, maybe it really was fate.
I glanced at my phone, knowing it wouldn’t tell me anything my internal clock hadn’t told me already.
Bren was late. Which left me to sit here, wondering if I’d been stood up.
When I’d called her earlier today, she’d sounded willing enough—no doubt she wanted to plan out what would happen if the results came back the way she expected them to…the way we both expected them to.
But then, on some level, I thought we both already knew the answers. I would be there with her, take care of our baby, and make sure her delivery went as smoothly as it could. I would help her and I would love our child. There was no question I would be there for my baby in every way I could.
What was less certain was how she and I would do. How we would get along aside from our one night of hot, passionate sex. Even though my gut told me it was right, I had to admit I didn’t really know her at all. I knew her body well enough. But I needed to get to know the woman attached to it.
Before this baby came—if it came at all—I wanted to get to know her. Wanted to see if the reality lived up to the fantasy I’d built up in my mind about who Bren could be to me.
The one.
My phone buzzed on the table in front of me and I glanced at it. When I saw it was from Bren and read the word “here”, I breathed a sigh of relief. Glancing around, I spotted her standing in the bright sun pouring through the glass doors. I waved her over to the table I’d requested near the wide bay windows overlooking the water.
She offered me a nervous smile, then headed over, hitching her purse on the back of the chair before settling into the seat opposite me. “Fancy place,” she said.
I nodded. “Hope you don’t mind. They have the best Arnold Palmers here, and since you’re probably not drinking, I thought…”
She bit her bottom lip, a soft pink glow taking over her cheeks. “Thanks. That was thoughtful.”
A long silence stretched between us, and I glanced out at the water just as a fish jumped into the air and splashed back down.
I know how you feel, buddy. Less than five minutes and I’m already floundering…
My mind raced, searching for the right words to say to fill the awkward pause. Something that wouldn’t give her any reason to want to run away from me. Bren dug through her big bag and pulled out a stack of crisp white papers. “Look, uh, I know this is weird, but I drew up some ideas for custody and—”
I took the sheets and set them aside. “I get that and why you want to do it, and if it turns out that’s necessary, I promise I’ll look at them. But it’s jumping the gun, to say the least. I don’t want to talk about the elephant in the room,” I said. “We had a good first date—let’s consider this the second. I just want to have a nice dinner and get to know you.”
Bren’s wide eyes conveyed her surprise. Maybe she thought we’d get right down to business. Surprise. Bet you didn’t consider that I wouldn’t allow you to build another wall between us.
“We didn’t do much talking that night once we left the bar,” Bren murmured, though her shoulders seemed to relax a bit as she settled more deeply into her chair. “But sounds like a good plan anyway.”
A waitress came by and took our drink orders, and as Bren perused the menu, I grabbed a roll from the basket between us and began to apply a liberal amount of butter. “So, you know I’m a doctor.”
She let out a little yelp of laughter. “That became pretty obvious when you walked into the exam room when I had my legs in the air.”
I grinned, stunned at how warm that little laugh made me feel inside. “Yeah…that was regrettable.” She’d discovered I was a doctor when I had my fingers inside her. “But anyway, what do you do for work?”
She glanced at me over the menu. “You don’t want to get me started on it.”
“Why? Are you a secret agent? If you tell me, you’ll have to kill me and all that.”
She chuckled, and I caught a flash of her pretty white teeth. That smile. Dammit, it might be the death of me because I felt heat tingle from my scalp to my toes as I stared at her mouth. “No, my friends just always regret asking me about my job because I never shut up about it, so I’m warning you now. Back away while you still can.”
“I’ll consider myself warned. Now, what do you do?” I asked again, even more interested now that I knew how passionate she was about her work.
“I’m a conservationist at the zoo here in the city.” She beamed, finally loosening up and giving me a glimpse of the real Bren. The one I wanted to get to know better. “It’s the best job in the entire world.”
Her enthusiasm was infectious, and I found myself grinning back at her again like a fool. Jesus, this woman did something crazy to my insides, and I sure as fuck didn’t hate it.
“That’s sounds like a really awesome job. Tell me more.”
She nodded, her hair falling over her face as she popped a chunk of bread in her mouth and chewed before continuing. “Mostly I work in the cheetah enclosure. They’re fascinating animals. You know, we pair them with dogs because on their own they actually get really lonely, so it’s this precious thing where the dog thinks he’s the alpha and he eats before the cheetah and almost leads his buddy, and the cheetah and the dog become like besties. It’s amazing.”
“Are you serious?”
She nodded again, her eyes bright. I swallowed as I imagined her naked beneath me, looking up
at me with that same hypnotic gaze. “Each pair sort of has their own personality.”
“So, which is your favorite?”
“Cocoa and Nibs. Nibs is a chocolate Lab and Cocoa is his cheetah best friend. They were born on the same day and they do everything together. You’ve never seen anything more adorable in your life.” She pulled her phone from her purse and slid it closer to me before pressing the central control and showing me a picture of two animals spooning while they slept—a chocolate Lab the big spoon and a cheetah the little spoon.
“That would break the Internet if you posted it. And blow people’s minds. Cats and dogs are not supposed to act like that,” I said, genuinely impressed. “That’s amazing. How did you not tell me all this before?”
“Like I said, I get a little caught up and I don’t want to monopolize every conversation, so I have to watch myself. But I’m done now, really. Tell me more about you.”
The waitress reappeared with our drinks and I took a sip while considering her. I wanted to know more about her days—how she spent them, which of the animals she liked the most, but I also didn’t want to pressure her.
“Um, let’s see. There’s not a whole lot to know. I’m a doctor. I’ve lived in the city my whole life. My parents live here too.”
“Yeah?” She tilted her head to the side. “That must be different, never having moved away from your parents. I wonder sometimes if that’s the way to do it. My mother is always saying how much she misses me.”
“Well, honestly, I didn’t have much of a choice. I was going to go to Johns Hopkins when I graduated from high school, but my mom actually got really sick, and I felt like I needed to stick around for her through that.”
Her full lips folded into a frown. “I’m so sorry. That’s awful. Do you mind me asking what happened?”
I nodded. “Ovarian cancer. They were sure she would…well, you know.” I knocked on the wooden table, a rush of emotion making my gut clench in a vice-grip like it always did when I thought of how close we came to losing her. “She’s fine now, though. My father nursed her through and made sure she went to all the best doctors and received top-notch care. You’ve never seen a doctor work so hard for someone who wasn’t his actual patient.”
“Your father is a doctor, too?”
“Yeah,” I took a sip of my drink, worried that I sounded like the kind of dipshit that couldn’t think for himself. I’d always just knew I’d follow in my dad’s footsteps. But work like Bren’s? That was pure passion which echoed through her every word and gesture. “It was a family practice, actually. I did my internship at the office, and residency in the local hospital and then, when my dad was ready to retire, I took it over, just like he did with his dad.”
“Wow. That’s an incredible legacy.” She smiled, but suddenly a note of tension re-entered the space between us. Like she knew.
I cleared my throat. “That was more happenstance than anything. We all just happened to find fulfillment in treating patients.”
“I can understand that,” she said, nodding. “I see the vets come in and care for the babies or the sick animals and it feels very” —she paused for a moment before adding—“noble.”
“Thank you.” A little rush of heat surged through me at the smile that lit her face, and I glanced away, trying to shove the memory of her writhing beneath me from my mind.
This wasn’t about that. This was about getting to know each other the way we should have that first night.
I couldn’t seem to knock the devil off my shoulder who insisted that just because we started the night differently tonight didn’t mean it couldn’t end the same way. Me between those silky thighs, that tight pussy clenching over me as she called out my name.
I coughed and shifted in my chair to ease the sudden pressure behind my zipper and shot her a smile.
“We’d better figure out what to order.”
Before I shit-canned this whole dinner idea and ordered another helping of Bren Matthews.
Chapter Eight
Bren
I’d never wanted a glass of wine so badly in my entire life.
Though, of course, I would have taken a shot, too. Or maybe a hole in the head. Anything to get me off this constant roller coaster or to make me less likely to hide under the table until he finally gave up and left.
Swallowing hard, I forced myself to remember what he’d just asked me but was saved when the waitress stopped by our table to take our order. “Uh, the apple, bacon, and gorgonzola salad, I think. Sounds good. Not that I’m like craving apples or anything.”
He nodded. “It does sound good. Steak for me, please.”
He ignored my complete spazziness just like he had earlier. Which, of course, made perfect sense.
Because that’s exactly what he was—perfect.
Seriously, not only had this guy completely rocked my world in bed, but now he was telling me about his close family ties and how he stayed in the city to take care of his ailing mother? What was he going to say next, that he was up for sainthood after performing his next miracle?
“What’s on your mind?” His deep, rumbling voice broke through my thoughts and I looked up at him, feeling weirdly like those clear blue eyes of his could see through me and into my mind.
“What?”
“You have a weird expression on your face. I was just wondering why. What’s going on in your head?”
“Oh, uh” —I cleared my throat—“it’s silly.”
“Something about the animals?”
“No.” Damn. Why hadn’t I just said yes? That would have been the perfect out.
“Then what?” He laughed.
I glanced around and finally huffed out a sigh. “This is going to sound stupid.”
“I doubt it.”
“Well, then, if you have to know, I was wondering why you’re still single.”
He raised his eyebrows and I rushed to finish my thought.
“I mean, you’re handsome and successful. You’re a doctor. You must have women falling all over themselves to get to you, and you see hundreds of women in your office.”
“Dating a patient is not an option,” he said. “It’s unprofessional, not to mention unethical.”
“Okay, fine,” I murmured, slicing my hand through the air. “Other than that, though. You have to have had women fawning all over you, and you’ve got these stories about bringing babies into the world and taking care of your sick mom and all that, so, like, what’s the deal?”
“What’s the deal?” he repeated, and his eyebrows hitched slightly higher. Taunting me. Why couldn’t I make sense while talking to him? I’d had just about enough of stuttering Bren and wondered when poised Bren would come out of hiding.
“Yeah. Why aren’t you already taken? You’re what…thirty?”
He cleared his throat again. “Thirty-two.”
It seemed ludicrous. Unless, of course, he was already taken and hadn’t felt it pertinent to fill me in on that fact. I toyed with my fork trying to act nonchalant as I waited for him to respond.
He rubbed at his perfectly chiseled jaw. “Well, I do date quite a lot.”
“That still doesn’t explain why you’re single.”
He eyed me and then took a sip of his drink. “Look, I’ll tell you the truth, but then I’m going to be the one sounding silly.”
“Seems only fair at this point, considering the level of awkward I had to suffer through on your exam table,” I fired back.
“You got me there.” He tipped his head in a clipped nod. “The reason I haven’t settled down with one person is because I’m looking for more than just sex and companionship.” His intense gaze burned into mine as he leaned forward, and I barely suppressed a shudder. “It’s going to sound cheesy, but the fact is, I want a soul mate. Someone who not only loves me, but understands me on my deepest level, you know? Accepts me for who I am, faults and all. After watching my parents all my life—and especially
through my mother’s illness—I just think life is too short to waste it on anything less.”
A lump knotted in my throat.
Life was too short.
I thought of my own parents—my father’s illness and after. But then, maybe Mason’s rose-colored glasses only existed because he hadn’t seen the other side of that struggle…the devastation when the struggle was finally over and there were no winners.
I wasn’t sure if my parents had been soul mates, but they’d been in love. And now my mother was alone and heartbroken, so downtrodden that she could barely function without my father around to help her.
So, yeah, life was too short. Too short to fall head over heels for someone and then wind up totally destroyed when that person disappeared from your life in one way or another.
But I wasn’t about to get into all of that. Especially not with him—not now. He already knew more of me, both inside and out, than I’d meant to share with him. It was time to pump the brakes a little and get back on more solid ground. If I could just gain a little more control over an untenable situation, I’d start to feel better.
He talked about his favorite parts of his job, and we laughed over TV shows we’d both seen and books we’d read, but in the back of my mind, I was still replaying what he’d said.
He wanted a soul mate. Someone who knew his deepest self. I’m sorry, but that scared the ever-loving fuck out of me.
I couldn’t deny that I’d felt something the night we’d been together—sure. But that had all been animalistic, greedy need. Sheer, unadulterated attraction. Hell, that was half the reason I’d run out of his place like my butt was on fire.
What were the odds that some random one-night stand he’d potentially managed to knock up would be his soul mate? The one person he’d been waiting for?
Not freaking likely. Plus, add to that the fact that I might be sticking him with a baby, and then what? A guy like this would stay by my side, try to make it work, and settle even if I wasn’t his soul mate. Settling wasn’t an option. Not for him and sure as hell not for me.