“Hi, Liz,” Tracy greeted her without the slightest evidence of surprise. Tracy was the oldest of the current brood, a sixteen-year-old who’d been a victim of abuse. Ann had taken her in when she was thirteen, skinny and terrified. She had blossomed into a lovely young woman.
“Want some cereal? Juice?” she asked.
“Just coffee, if there’s any made.”
“Sure thing. Have a seat if you can find one. Josh, you’re through. Move it and give Liz your chair.”
“That’s okay. I can stand for awhile. It’s a long drive.”
Josh grinned at her. Dark-haired and dark-eyed, he had been sullen and difficult when he’d arrived, sent to Ann as an alternative to becoming enmeshed in the juvenile justice system. It had taken the better part of a year for Ann to penetrate his brooding moods and show him that there were more positive ways of getting attention than breaking the law.
“You’d better sit,” he advised. “Tracy’s decided she’s boss for the day. She gets nasty if we don’t follow her orders.”
Liz found herself grinning, despite the weight that seemed to have lodged in her chest the night before. “Then by all means, I’ll sit. Is Ann around?”
“Last time I saw her she was trying to persuade Melissa to give up her blanket long enough for it to be washed,” Josh said as Tracy handed Liz a mug of coffee. “I’ve got to get out of here to cut the grass before soccer practice. I’ll go look for her.”
“Thanks, Josh.” She pushed cereal bowls and dirty glasses out of the way, so there’d be room for the coffee mug. Once she’d been settled, the other kids still at the table seemed to forget all about her. She sat quietly and let the noisy teasing ebb and flow around her. Even when tempers flared it was all so alive, so filled with energy and joy. It made her own house seem even quieter.
A few minutes later, Ann breezed into the room, dropped a kiss on Liz’s forehead and set about hurrying all the children out the door to do their various chores. “Tracy, watch the little ones. Try to see that they don’t fall in the ocean and drown.”
She fixed herself a cup of tea, then sat down. “So, what brings you to visit so early on Saturday morning?”
“I just felt like a drive.”
Ann directed a sharp look at her. “You hate traveling on U.S. 1 almost as much as I hated living in Miami. Try another one on me.”
“It’s Todd.”
“You’re in love with him?”
Liz nodded, not at all surprised that Ann had guessed. That’s what Liz loved about her. She was smart and intuitive. Also, she wasted no words, just offered a blunt summation that zeroed in on the heart of the problem.
“And that’s a problem? Why? It’s about time you admitted it. I’ve known it for weeks now.”
“That’s because you’re an objective observer. I’ve been fighting it.”
“Are you crazy? He’s gorgeous, generous, sensitive and he loves you. Or doesn’t he?” She shook her head. “I don’t know what I’m bothering to ask for. He’s just as starry-eyed as you are.”
“He says he does.”
Ann put her elbows on the table and leaned forward. “Okay, Liz, that’s enough double-talk. Sweetheart, I’m a psychologist, not a mind reader. So far, everything you’ve said adds up to bliss. You don’t look blissful.”
“I’m miserable. There’s something he’s not telling me. We had this huge fight last night, because he wouldn’t be straight with me. Maybe he’s still in love with his ex-wife. Maybe he just can’t figure out a way to break it to me.”
“Didn’t you tell me that you played hostess to her at Thanksgiving? Living with a zillion kids under the age of eighteen, I may not be up on all the current social graces, but I sincerely doubt that Todd would have had the two of you in the same room if he were still hot for his ex.”
“I don’t think he was…then.”
“Has anything happened to suggest he’s changed his mind. Is he making late-night calls to her? Has he taken off on any unexplained business trips? Found any lipstick on his collar?”
Liz laughed despite her gloomy mood. “When you put it that way, it does seem pretty farfetched. That still doesn’t explain this weird mood he’s been in. Last night Kevin asked for help with his homework and the next thing I knew Todd had stomped out of the kitchen. Nothing I said or did made any difference. He wouldn’t talk about it.”
Ann seemed to go perfectly still. “I see.”
“Well, dammit, I don’t see.”
“Did you try to talk to him about it?”
“Yes. He just snapped my head off. He went on some crazy tirade about me making Kevin my project for the year. He thinks I’m already gearing up to get the two of them out of my life.”
“Any truth to that?”
“No. It took me a long time to admit I loved him. I sure as hell don’t want to walk away from him now.”
“Then why aren’t you in Miami working this out with him, instead of down here talking to me.”
Liz managed a wavering grin. “Because you don’t yell at me.”
Ann grinned back. “Stick around.”
“On second thought, I seem to feel this desperate need to head north.”
“Smart decision.” She reached over and held Liz’s hand. “Talk. Don’t attack. Secrets are rarely revealed when everyone’s yelling at the top of their lungs.”
She turned a penetrating gaze on Ann. A couple of earlier comments suddenly clicked. “Do you know something about this?”
“I didn’t say that. I was speaking in generalities.”
Liz shook her head slowly. “I don’t buy that for a minute. And the only reason I won’t press you on it is because I know all the rules about confidentiality.”
She waited for some indication that her noble restraint had hit its mark. Ann only repeated, “Talk to him. He’ll come around. And no matter what, remember the stakes. Good love is hard to find.”
“Maybe I should just hang around here. You’re supposed to see him today, aren’t you? Doesn’t Kevin have an appointment?”
“He did. Todd called a little while before you got here to cancel.”
“Oh, hell.”
Ann shrugged resignedly. “One missed appointment is not the end of the world. In fact, right now, I’d suggest you leave that subject alone. Stick to what’s happening between you and Todd, for once. He may need to know he comes first with you.”
Liz thought about Ann’s advice all the way home. An hour later she had just gotten out of the tub, when the doorbell rang. She wrapped herself in a terry-cloth robe, wound a towel around her wet hair and peered through the peephole. Todd was standing on the doorstep, his expression subdued.
“Can you give me one good reason to open this door?” she said, though there wasn’t much anger behind the taunt.
“I love you.”
Her remaining irritation slid away. “Not bad,” she said, swinging open the door. “What’ll you do for an encore?”
He pulled her into his arms and slanted his mouth across hers. His tongue teased. His rough hands slid inside her robe and caressed her breasts, his thumbs rubbing the nipples until they hardened into sensitive buds. Liz melted. Her knees went limp and she clung to him.
“Don’t ever walk out on me again,” he pleaded, his voice hoarse and urgent. “Please.”
“I’m sorry. It was a cowardly thing to do. I should have stayed so we could talk it out. Can we do it now?”
“Not right now, Liz. I want to take you away. I want to go someplace where it’s just the two of us, someplace where we can concentrate on us.”
Ann’s comments echoed through her mind. “Does this sudden desire to get away have to do with what you said earlier about our needs getting all twisted up with Kevin’s?”
“Partly. Mostly, though, there are things I want you to know about me, things I haven’t been able to tell you before.”
“And we need to go away for you to be able to do that?” she said, puzzled.
Todd’s mouth curved into a rueful expression. “Maybe I just want you to be someplace where you can’t run away so easily.”
“There’s nothing you can say that would be so awful that I’d run from you.”
“I’d like to believe that, Liz. God knows I need to believe that.”
“You can,” she said, increasingly concerned by his odd mood. “I love you. I’m scared, especially knowing that there is some secret between us, but that doesn’t mean I intend to run from my feelings or from yours.”
“Wait before you say that. Wait until you know everything.”
“We’re all going away next week.”
“That’s just it, we’re all going.”
“Don’t you think we’ll be able to find time alone?”
“I suppose.”
“Todd, we’ll make the time. That’s a promise.”
He held her then, the embrace surprisingly desperate. The renewed certainty that there were emotions plaguing Todd that threatened their happiness scared her to death. Suddenly the entire holiday season, which she’d been anticipating with such excitement, seemed threatening. Would they still be together beyond the New Year?
Chapter 14
Liz’s growing despair almost ruined the holidays for her. She was terrified to let herself feel too much for fear it was all going to be snatched away from her again. She wrapped presents for Todd and Kevin and went to parties with her coworkers and Todd’s friends with a vague but no less disquieting sense that it was all for the last time. Her mood communicated itself to Todd and he grew increasingly quiet.
In the already tense atmosphere, it wasn’t surprising that they got into frequent quarrels over inconsequential things. The bickering escalated into a full-scale battle when she asked about inviting his family to spend Christmas Day with them. She knew they lived in Boca Raton, but very little else.
“Wouldn’t they like to be here on Christmas morning? They could drive down on Christmas Eve. There’s plenty of room for them.”
“No.”
“Todd, it’s Christmas. Families should be together.”
“Not mine.”
“Tell me why.”
“It’s none of your damned business why. The point is I don’t want them here. Now stop bugging me about it.” He stalked out of the house, slamming the door behind him.
Furious and hurt, she turned around to see Kevin standing on the terrace, his whole body shaking. “Is Dad leaving?”
Liz was shocked by the panic in his eyes, the absolute terror that radiated from him. “You mean for good?”
He nodded, still trembling. She knelt down and gathered him close. “Oh, sweetheart, of course not. I just upset him. That’s all. He’ll be back.”
“When he and Mom fought, she didn’t come back.”
“This is very different.”
“You asked him about my grandparents, didn’t you?” he said.
“Yes.” She wondered at his oddly accusing tone.
“You shouldn’t have done that. He doesn’t like them. They came here once and he yelled at them. They didn’t ever come back.”
Liz sighed. Another secret. Would they never end? Could they survive them?
Despite her doubts and fears, on Christmas Eve she gave herself a stern lecture on wasting the moment. She determinedly allowed herself to indulge in the luxury of being part of a family again. She set out to make the night special. If it was going to end, it would be with only the best of memories.
After a dinner in a favorite neighborhood restaurant, they drove to see the gigantic Christmas tree in Bayfront Park. Kevin could hardly contain himself. He’d been convinced that no tree could possibly be bigger than theirs. They followed that with a visit to a house near Todd’s that put on an annual display of holiday scenes complete with animated figures and enough lights to dazzle children of all ages. Kevin was enchanted. Liz felt her own spirits rise.
The transformation was almost complete by the time they went to a midnight service. Stars glittered brightly. The air, though hardly wintry, had turned brisk enough for sweaters and jackets. At the church they were surrounded by people she had come to know or at least recognize over the past few months of being at Todd’s. With the Nativity acted out in front of the candlelit altar, she found herself slowly responding to the carols and the joyous atmosphere. She left the service with a renewed sense of hope.
Getting Kevin to bed was the toughest task of the night. He no longer believed in Santa Claus, but that didn’t prevent him from wanting to lurk about in the living room just in case the old guy showed up. When he’d finally been convinced that leaving cookies and milk on the coffee table would be incentive enough for Santa or whatever elves were delivering the presents, he went to bed. Todd and Liz spent the next two hours assembling the train set under the tree.
Drinking eggnog and arguing over the arrangement of the village prolonged the process.
“I’m the developer. I know all about land use,” Todd grumbled.
“I want the church next to the train station,” Liz insisted.
“Have you ever been to a train station? They’re always in the worst part of town.”
“All the more reason ours should have something beautiful nearby.” She grinned. “Besides, they both need an electrical connection and we only have one.”
Todd groaned. “So much for urban planning.”
On Christmas morning Kevin was up by five-thirty. Todd sent him straight back to bed again, but by six, he’d given up. Half asleep, he and Liz sat on the sofa and watched as Kevin’s excitement mounted with each present. Hugs were doled out with enthusiastic frequency. Squeals of delight mingled with the sound of the train whistle and cars racing across the tile floor. It had been years since Liz had heard so much noise at that hour of the morning. The nostalgia choked her. The reality made her feel complete.
Kevin had done his own Christmas shopping. He had found lace-edged handkerchiefs embroidered with her monogram. He was practically bouncing up and down on the sofa, as she opened them. “See,” he enthused, “they’re just like the ones you always have in school.”
“They’re lovely. The perfect present.”
“Now mine,” Todd said, handing her a large box.
When she ripped away the paper, she saw the name of an exclusive boutique in Mayfair, an elegant collection of shops in the heart of Coconut Grove.
“Todd,” she protested, her fingers caressing the embossed gold foil label. Even the label was probably fourteen-karat gold, she thought nervously.
“Don’t say a word until you’ve opened it. It’s something I wanted you to have and I won’t take no for an answer.”
Inside, amidst layers of tissue paper, she found the most beautiful dress she’d ever seen. Ankle-length green satin, it was draped to leave one shoulder bare. The single strap was held together with a rhinestone clasp. At least she hoped those were only rhinestones glittering up at her. It was elegant, sexy and totally impractical for a schoolteacher.
“Wow!” Kevin said.
“You said it,” she said in an awed whisper.
“Put it on,” Kevin said. “I want to see.”
She shook her head. “I can’t. Todd, it’s lovely, but I’ll never…”
“You will,” he said adamantly. “Remember we have a date in Maine for New Year’s Eve and that’s the dress I want you to wear.”
Although Liz had worried about the extravagance, the trip to Maine was exactly the vacation they all needed. With snow on the ground, a huge fireplace in the lodge and nothing to do all day but enjoy the spectacular scenery, ski a little or simply sit back and read all the books she’d put aside during the fall school term, Liz was in heaven.
On New Year’s Eve afternoon she was almost finished with a Pulitzer Prize-winning biography, when Todd came back from taking Kevin to town for a new pair of ski boots to replace the ones he’d outgrown. He leaned down to kiss her.
“Umm, nice,” she observed, “but your nose is cold.�
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“So’s the rest of me. Care to warm me up?”
“It’s the middle of the afternoon and your son is in the next room.”
“No, he’s not. Hank and his date took him for the rest of the day.”
“What a wonderful friend,” she noted.
“I thought you’d think so.”
“Sometimes I wonder if we’d ever have a moment alone, if it weren’t for Hank.”
“I think we owe it to him to make his sacrifice worthwhile,” he said, pulling her into his arms. His hands were already sliding under her sweater to caress and tease.
“Absolutely,” she concurred, fumbling with the zipper on his jacket.
It took far more time to disrobe in the icy climate, but the loss of time was more than compensated for with the heightened sense of anticipation. As layers were peeled away and kisses stolen, the sweet tension mounted in Liz. Even before Todd had her clothes off and cast aside, he had teased her to a shattering climax.
“Not fair,” she murmured, clinging to him and seeking the masculine nipples that were buried in swirls of dark blond hair that matted his chest.
“You didn’t enjoy that?” he said, groaning himself as her tongue teased the hard little bud.
“I wanted you with me, inside me.”
“It doesn’t always have to be that way. Sometimes I just want to give you pleasure. I want you to take everything I can offer you and let me watch as you reach the crest.”
“Then let me do the same,” she said, drawing him down in front of the fire, her hands already at work, stroking the supple muscles that spanned his chest, the flat plane of his belly with its tiny, sensitive indentation. Her tongue flicked in and out in a sensual rhythm that had Todd already breathing hard by the time she reached lower. At her sure, insistent touch, he moaned with pleasure.
“I see what you mean,” he said on a ragged sigh. “I want you with me.”
A slow smile spread across her face. “I’m right here,” she said and settled on him, riding him with wild abandon until they both reached a destination far beyond their dreams.
They were lying together on the rug in front of the fire, still bathed in the afterglow of lovemaking that grew more satisfying each time they were in each other’s arms, when Todd murmured, “What did you do today?”
Miss Liz's Passion Page 17