“You mean before this?”
“Umm.”
“It wasn’t nearly as interesting.”
“Tell me anyway.”
“I was reading.” She described the biography. “The writer is excellent and the man it’s about is someone I think you’d really admire. You ought to read it, when I’m finished. It’s fascinating.”
She felt Todd’s arms stiffen at once. Twisting, she scanned his face. “What’s wrong?”
He sighed heavily and released her. “I suppose now is as good a time as any to tell you.”
Cold without his arms around her, she reached for a blanket. Her heart thudded ominously. “Tell me what?”
“I can’t read the book, Liz,” he said bluntly. “I can’t read any book. At least not easily. I’m dyslexic. Ann’s done a little work with me over the last couple of months and coupled with what I’ve managed to do myself, I’m a little better, but it will always be a struggle.”
She saw the uncertainty written all over his face, the fear that his announcement was going to change something between them. That vulnerability broke her heart. At the same time, she felt betrayed. He’d kept something so basic about himself from her, something that would have told her so much about him and about his protectiveness of Kevin. The fact that he hadn’t trusted her with his secret hurt. Worse, she realized now that Ann had known. That only compounded her feeling that for all the love he’d professed, Todd hadn’t loved her enough.
“Why didn’t you feel you could tell me?” she asked, her heart aching.
“I was afraid it would change things. When you and I met, I was still in a lot of pain over Sarah’s rejection. I was convinced that she’d turned away from Kevin and from me because we were less than perfect. I know it sounds crazy, especially after the way she’s been acting lately, but that’s the way I felt at the time. I couldn’t bear the thought of losing you the same way.”
“But you told Ann.”
“I didn’t tell her, at least not willingly. She guessed that very first day we went down there.”
That didn’t make her feel any better. “My God, I must have been blind,” she said pulling away and going to get a robe. When she was covered, she sat huddled in a chair and went over all the signs she’d missed before.
“That’s why you never helped Kevin with his homework,” she said. “Why you got so angry that night he asked you to look at his math. Those were word problems.”
He nodded.
“And that’s why you never looked at your mail when I was around. That’s why Hank was usually the one who went over the terms of your contracts, rather than the other way around. It never made sense before that you were in charge, that you made the business decisions, but he worked on the contracts. He knows, too.”
“Don’t say it like he’s part of some conspiracy. We grew up together. He’s always known. I’m not sure I’d have gotten through high school without Hank. In his way, he coached me through it as best he could.”
Liz felt numb. “I want to go home,” she said. “I have a lot of thinking to do.”
Todd’s expression hardened. “I knew this would happen. It’s the reason I didn’t tell you sooner. I knew you’d walk away from me.”
She shook her head. “I’m not walking away because you’re dyslexic, Todd. That’s something you couldn’t help. I admire the way you’ve overcome it, the way you’ve gone on to make a success of yourself despite the difficulties. I’m leaving because I can’t stay in a relationship without trust. It just won’t work. I’m going home.”
With the same stoic expression she’d seen all too often on Kevin’s face, Todd nodded and left her alone to pack. No protests. No pleas. Just calm acceptance, as if he’d known all along what her decision would be.
In a daze, she called the airlines, made a reservation for the next flight back to Miami and packed her bags. She was getting ready to call for a bellboy, when there was a knock on the door.
“Liz, it’s Hank. Can we talk?”
Reluctantly, she opened the door. “I’m running late. I have a cab waiting.”
“If you’re determined to go, I’ll drive you. We can talk on the way.”
“I don’t think so. I’m not sure I can bear to listen to a lengthy defense of what Todd has done. Whatever you want to say, say it here.”
“Dammit, what exactly has he done? He hasn’t lied or cheated or betrayed you. Not really. He’s acted human. He held back a part of himself that was less than perfect because he was afraid it would change the way you felt about him. Now you’re proving him right. You’re leaving. I thought you were different. We both did.”
“Dammit, I told him I’m not going because he has difficulty reading. I’m going because he didn’t trust me enough to tell me.”
“If every person you’d ever really loved had abandoned you and you were convinced that they’d all done it because you couldn’t live up to their expectations, would you openly admit it to the next person who came along? Especially when you could manage to cover up the flaw? Is what Todd did any different from a woman who wears makeup to disguise a birthmark for fear that it will scare off a potential suitor? Is that a lie? Or what about the woman who wears a certain style of clothes not because they’re stylish but because they hide a flaw in her figure. Sure, sooner or later the truth comes out. If the relationship grows the man sees the birthmark or the heavy thighs or the small bust, but by then he’s also gotten to know the person inside that flawed body.”
“But if the man was so superficial that the birthmark or thighs or the size of the bustline would have scared him away, is that the sort of man she should want?”
“Liz, in the beginning most relationship are superficial. They’re based on all sorts of preconceived notions of what we expect true beauty or intelligence or sensitivity to be. There are very few of us who don’t try to minimize our flaws and emphasize our good qualities, when we meet people for the first time. Hell, when you go on a job interview, your resumé covers all the successes. You don’t spend a hell of a lot of time discussing the classes you almost failed or the fact that four days out of five you couldn’t afford to dress in the suit you chose for the interview.”
“Then you think that what Todd did was okay?”
“I think it was human. Has he ever told you the way his parents treated him? Did he ever explain how his brilliant father, a man at the top of the legal profession, turned his back on him once he’d decided Todd would never be able to get through law school?”
“That’s why he doesn’t see his parents?” she said in a shaky voice.
“Yes. They gave up on him, too. Imagine what that does to a kid in his teens when he’s already struggling with just growing up. Then his wife walks out, too. Probably not for the same reason, but it’s another rejection just the same. Is it any wonder he’s cautious with the truth? Just promise me you’ll try to see it from his point of view. The man’s nuts about you.”
“You’re a good friend, Hank. I’m glad he’s always had you to make up for the losses, to stand by him. He told me what you did for him in school.”
Hank feigned shock, allowing a tiny flicker of amusement to spark in his eyes. “He didn’t. He promised he would never tell about that date I arranged for him.”
Liz laughed. “Still can’t admit it, can you?”
“Admit what?”
“That you’re a terrific guy.”
“I know that. I thought you wanted me to tell you what happened on the date.”
“Get out of here, Hank.”
“On my way.”
At the door he stopped and looked back. “You’ll never find a finer man, Liz. And I doubt if there will ever be one who’ll love you more.”
She sighed. “I know that. I’m just not sure it’s enough.”
All the way to the airport, she thought about what Hank had said. She recalled the look in Todd’s eyes when he’d told her the truth, that mixture of hope and anxiety. And then she remembered
the despair when she’d done exactly as he’d anticipated and turned away from him. The horrible lump in her throat seemed to grow larger with each mile she put between her and Todd.
“Turn the cab around,” she finally told the driver.
“You forget something? You’ll never make your flight, if we go back.”
“I almost forgot the most important thing of all,” she said. “And if I don’t go back, I may lose it forever.”
He shrugged, obviously used to impulsive, scatterbrained tourists. “It’s your nickel on the meter, lady.”
When she got back to the hotel, she made sure that Todd was out of the room before going back. Once inside, she showered and changed into the green gown he’d given her for Christmas. She was just putting the finishing touches on her hair when she heard the door to the room open.
Todd came in and sank down into the chair in front of the fireplace. She’d never seen him look quite so sad, so utterly defeated. Knowing that she was responsible made her heart ache.
Taking a deep breath, she put a smile on her face and stepped into the room. When Todd looked up and saw her, his shock registered in his eyes.
“I thought you’d left,” he said cautiously.
“I had. I came back.”
“Why?”
“It’s New Year’s Eve and I had this date I didn’t want to miss.”
“Anyone I know?”
“I’m not sure. He’s tall, handsome, incredibly sexy and quite possibly the nicest man I’ve ever known.”
“Sounds like a helluva guy. What happens after tonight? Do you have any plans?”
“That’s up to my date.”
Todd didn’t even attempt to hide the anguish she’d put him through. Not even the teasing lightened his mood. “Liz, I can’t take you walking out on me again. If you don’t plan to stay, go now.”
“Like I said, what happens next is up to you.”
She saw the heat flare in his eyes, the first hint of hope. “You could start by taking off the dress,” he suggested.
She allowed herself a slight chuckle. “Oh, no, you don’t. I just put it on.”
He stood up and came closer. He ran one finger along the low-cut neckline, leaving a trail of fire across her skin. “There’s not much to it,” he observed. “How much trouble could it be to take it off, then put it back on again? I’ll even help.”
“What a guy!”
He reached around her and worked the zipper down. The slow rasp sent shivers along the curve of her spine. “I love you,” he whispered, kissing the hollow at the base of her neck. “I missed you.”
“I was only gone for an hour or so.”
“But it could have been a lifetime.”
“I’d have come to my senses sooner or later.”
“What made you change your mind?”
“Something Hank said.”
“Hank came to talk to you about me? What did he say?”
“He said I’d never meet a finer man.”
“Probably true,” he teased immodestly.
“He said no one would ever love me more.”
“Definitely true.”
“He also mentioned something about a date he arranged for you.”
“He what?”
“That, of course, was the clincher. Hank Riley is not going to direct your social life.”
“Does that mean you’re going to take me out of circulation?”
“I suppose I’ll have to.”
“Quite a sacrifice you’re willing to make.”
“Keep it in mind, when you’re taking out the trash. That should even things up rather nicely.”
He sighed. “I can’t believe New Year’s Eve is actually working out the way I’d planned. You’re here. You’re wearing the dress I’d imagined you in.” He glanced down at the pool of green satin at her feet. “Well, almost wearing it, anyway. It seems like there was something else.”
“Something else?”
“The ring. There’s supposed to be a ring.”
“An engagement ring? You actually have an engagement ring?”
“I have a wedding ring, too, but Hank’s holding on to that. I didn’t want to lose it before the wedding. Thank goodness he didn’t mention that while he was trying to be persuasive.”
“My head seems to be spinning here. What exactly did you have in mind for tonight?”
“Just the proposal. I figured we’d have to wait for the wedding.”
“I’m glad you realized that. It takes time to plan a wedding.”
“Oh, it’s all planned. I just couldn’t figure out how to get you to the church without telling you what I was up to.”
“You were incredibly confident, weren’t you?”
“Not for a minute, sweetheart. I’ve been praying since the day we met.”
Epilogue
The late afternoon sunlight streaming in the nursery window cast a golden shadow over the room he and Hank had added to the house barely in the nick of time. Fascinated, Todd stood in the doorway feeling his chest constrict in awe at the sight of Liz seated in the old-fashioned rocker, breast bared as their baby suckled, one tiny hand resting on the creamy mound.
“How are my two girls today?” he asked softly, not wanting to disturb the age-old serenity of the intimate moment between mother and child, but needing to feel a part of it.
Liz lifted her head and smiled. The radiance of that smile lit the room, welcoming him. “Why not come and see for yourself. Your daughter is a greedy little thing. She must have gotten it from you.”
“I’d trade places with her in a minute,” he said in a choked voice. His eyes met Liz’s and caught the smoldering heat that always set him on fire.
They had been married more than a year now and that sharp pang of desire hadn’t diminished. If anything, the intensity of his feelings had grown, almost overwhelming him at times. His life was fuller, richer than he’d ever imagined possible.
As he watched, Liz put the baby over her shoulder, patted her back, then held her up for him to take. Amy smelled of talcum powder and felt a little bit like heaven in his arms. He wondered if he’d ever taken the time to enjoy Kevin as much when he was an infant and Sarah had still been there to care for him. Probably not. It was only after she’d gone that he’d grown truly close to his son.
“Maybe she’ll actually nap long enough for me to get a decent dinner on the table,” Liz said hopefully, fastening her blouse.
“I can think of better ways to spend the time,” he said, holding the baby in the crook of his arm and grinning suggestively at his wife.
“Kevin will be home from baseball practice in twenty minutes.”
“Clock-watcher,” he chided.
“It’s a good thing one of us is.”
“There’s still time for a shower.”
“Only if you take it alone.”
“Surely there’s something we can manage in twenty minutes.”
She came to stand beside him as he put the baby into her crib. Her arm looped around his waist and she leaned against him, soft and warm and desirable. “We can stand here and admire our handiwork.”
He felt a familiar silly grin of satisfaction slip into place. “We did do a good job, didn’t we? Amy is quite possibly the most beautiful baby ever born. She will no doubt grow up to be Miss America.” He brushed a light, hopeful kiss across Liz’s lips. “Want to see if we can do it again?”
“Oh, beautiful or not, I think one baby in diapers at a time is quite enough, thank you very much. Why don’t we go into the kitchen and try to get your mind on other things.”
“My mind has rarely been on other things since I met you.”
“And here I thought Hank was the one with the overactive libido.”
“Speaking of Hank, we had a meeting today. We had to make some decisions about the jobs we have lined up. We decided he’d take the one down in the Keys. He’ll be down there for the next few months until the mall is complete.”
“Is he g
oing to commute?”
“Not if he can help it. It’s pretty far down. He’d even be better off in Key West, if he has to commute from someplace. He’s looking for a house or condo to rent for four or five months. Unfortunately, it’s the height of the tourist season, so he’s not having a lot of luck. Everything’s either booked or outrageously expensive.”
He caught a sudden gleam of mischief in Liz’s eyes. “I recognize that look. What are you thinking?”
“What about Ann’s place?”
“What about it?”
“It’s only a few miles from the mall. He could stay there. A couple of the kids could double up for a short time.”
“Hank hates kids.”
Liz grinned. “So he says.”
Todd began to understand the perverse scheme that was forming in his wife’s devious mind. “Ann’s far too independent, far too opinionated,” he noted with a glimmer of satisfaction. “She’d drive him crazy. They fought all through the wedding rehearsal.”
“Exactly.”
“I love it. Think she’ll go along with it, though? She called him a chauvinistic jerk at the reception.”
“All we have to do is explain how lonely he is, how desperate for a place to stay. Ann has never turned down a stray in her life, especially one in need of reforming.”
Todd’s laughter boomed through the house. The baby whimpered. He fought to control his delighted reaction to the prospect of Hank Riley and Ann Davies in close proximity.
“I give ’em twenty-four hours.”
Liz shook her head solemnly, though her eyes flashed with amusement. “I’m betting on a lifetime.”
Keep reading for an except for Sherryl Woods’s Sand Castle Bay, available from Harlequin MIRA.
1
The television in Emily Castle’s Aspen, Colorado, hotel room was tuned to the Weather Channel, where there was minute-by-minute coverage of the hurricane aiming directly at North Carolina’s coast, the place that had been like a second home to her. Childhood summers there had been slow and lazy and sweet. The beach town her grandmother called home was where she’d ultimately experienced her first heartache, yet despite those painful memories and despite everything she had on her plate at the moment, it was where she needed to be.
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