Home On the Station/Noah & Kate/Daniel & Lily/Luke & Erin

by Barbara Hannay

  Joey mustn’t guess how she was feeling. Damn it, she was so mixed up she didn’t really know how she was feeling.

  At bedtime Joey said, ‘I wish you could come to Warrapinya, Mommy.’

  ‘You don’t need me there,’ she said quickly. ‘You’re going to have a great time with your dad.’

  ‘But why can’t you come too? Dad would let you come, wouldn’t he?’

  ‘That’s not what we’ve arranged, Joey. And I have business here in Sydney that will keep me busy.’

  Joey pouted and punched his pillow. ‘I don’t get it.’

  ‘What don’t you get?’

  ‘Why you don’t like Dad.’ He looked up at her with pleading eyes. ‘He’s the greatest. Why can’t you like him, Mommy?’

  ‘It’s—it’s complicated.’ Erin bit her lip. ‘Luke’s a good man, Joey. A—a very nice man.’

  The boy waited and his dubious scowl told her she was doing a lousy job of explaining. But how could she destroy his innocence by telling him that love wasn’t always enough? She tried again. ‘When a mommy and a daddy decide they don’t want to be married any more, it means they—they don’t want to spend too much time together.’

  ‘But why? Don’t you like that mushy stuff—like kissing and going to bed together?’

  ‘Joey!’ Erin couldn’t hide her shock. ‘Where did you hear that kind of talk?’

  The boy shrugged. ‘Kids talk about married stuff sometimes.’ Then he looked at her eagerly. ‘If you don’t want Dad to kiss you, maybe you could just tell him and then he’d say that’s okay, and you could come with us anyhow.’

  Thrilled with his brilliant idea, Joey launched out of bed. ‘Why don’t we go and tell him?’

  ‘No!’ Erin shrieked.

  ‘Well, I can tell him for you.’

  ‘No.’ Grabbing his arm, she shepherded him back beneath the bedclothes. ‘Sweetheart, you don’t understand. Your dad wouldn’t enjoy having me back at Warrapinya.’

  ‘Bet he would. Have you asked him?’

  ‘I’m not going to, Joey. Don’t keep on about it. It’s just not going to happen.’ With her fingertips, she stroked the pink curve of his ear. ‘This is a “boys only” adventure, just for you and your dad,’ she said.

  In the morning Joey was so excited he leapt out of bed the minute the wake-up call rang through, and while Erin was still fumbling sleepily with the coffee-maker, he dressed, without help, in record time.

  Everything happened in a flash—the business of breakfast, of cleaning teeth and checking for stray socks and Joey’s Game Boy under his bed, of zipping his suitcase and setting it near the door.

  In no time Joey was ready and Erin was opening the door to Luke.

  Her heart did a kind of somersault when she saw him, and she wished that it wouldn’t. She didn’t want to feel anything for Luke. It would spoil everything if she got silly.

  ‘There’s no point in my coming to the airport,’ she said, keeping her gaze no higher than his broad shoulder. ‘I’ll say goodbye here.’

  She knelt beside Joey and gave him a hug and a kiss and then another hug. Joey clung to her and she could feel his little body trembling with excitement and just a little fear. ‘Daddy’s going to take good care of you,’ she whispered. Then she said more brightly, ‘You can call me when you get to Warrapinya. I’ll expect to hear all about your adventures.’

  The boy nodded against her shoulder and she gave him one more kiss, a final hug.

  ‘I love you,’ she whispered and then she stood. Her eyes met Luke’s and she felt another flash, another unwanted leap of excitement. She forced a smile. ‘I packed a photo album in with Joey’s things. It’s for you. I had copies made of all the best ones. Of Joey. You know. All the milestones.’

  ‘Thanks.’ His voice sounded rough around the edges.

  ‘You’d better get going,’ she said, keeping her chin bravely high.

  ‘Indeed.’ With two fingers he snagged Joey’s suitcase.

  Erin opened the door. ‘Have a great trip now.’

  The man and the boy passed through the doorway.

  ‘Bye, Mom.’

  ‘Bye, Joey-boy.’ Erin swallowed to push away the sharp lump in her throat.

  Luke was watching her closely and she realised with a pang that no matter how hard she tried to deny it she was going to miss him, too. The little light inside her would go out when he left.

  And then he set down the suitcase. ‘I’d better say goodbye, too.’

  Before she had time to understand what was happening, his hands were at her waist and he was kissing her.

  Within seconds she was trembling beneath the unexpected warmth of his lips.

  Over the past five years she had tried so hard to forget what Luke’s kiss was like, had tried to block from her mind the physical desire she’d always felt for him. But she’d been fooling herself. One touch of Luke’s lips on her and her skin was aflame. Longing burst inside her like a flower coming into bloom.

  ‘No!’ Joey’s voice shouted beside them. ‘No, Dad, stop it. Mommy doesn’t want you to kiss her. She told me.’

  With a sharp groan, Luke lifted his head. His arms released her as quickly as he’d embraced her and he stepped away.

  Stunned, flushed and breathless, Erin sagged against the door frame.

  ‘Are you all right, Mommy?’ Joey looked worried and he touched her hand.

  She took a quick breath and nodded, then squeezed his fingers to reassure him. ‘Yes, sweetheart, of course I’m okay. I’m fine.’

  Her eyes sought Luke’s, but he was already bending to retrieve the suitcase. When he straightened, she saw that his face was flushed and his eyes were burning beneath stern brows. He stood very stiffly and gave her a curt nod, and then turned to the boy. ‘Are you ready, Joey?’

  ‘Yeah, sure. I’ve been ready for ages.’

  ‘Then we’d better be on our way.’

  Now they were heading down the hall and Joey flashed Erin one last searching glance over his shoulder.

  She waved and smiled fiercely to show him she was fine.

  ‘I don’t know why Mom doesn’t want you to kiss her, do you, Dad?’ she heard Joey ask, and she knew that Luke said something in reply but she couldn’t hear his answer.

  It must have been flippant because, as she watched, Joey laughed and then he gave a little skip and he took his father’s hand and then they turned the corner and disappeared.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  LUKE STARED OUT through the passenger jet’s porthole and sighed. Beside him Joey was absorbed in a colouring book, but Luke couldn’t stop thinking about Erin. And that kiss.

  Why the blue blazes had he kissed her?

  Oh, come on, man. As if you don’t know.

  He might as well admit the truth. He’d been fantasising about kissing her ever since he’d seen her asleep yesterday. Maybe he’d been thinking about it since he’d seen her at Sydney Airport, but yesterday in bed she’d looked so lovely and soft and warm, and the thin silk strap of her yellow nightie had slipped off her shoulder, and he’d burned with the need to touch her.

  How could he help it? His head was stuffed to overflowing with memories of her. In bed. In bed with him.

  But what was truly blowing his mind now was the knowledge that Erin had wanted the kiss as much as he had. From the instant he’d taken her into his arms he’d sensed it. And then he’d felt the warm eagerness of her lips opening beneath his, her willingness as she’d looped her arms around his neck and as she’d melted into him. Oh, man, she’d felt good.

  But then Joey had started yelling that Erin didn’t want to be kissed. The boy was wrong.

  He hadn’t a clue.

  Even so, Luke regretted the kiss. In his head, he regretted it. His heart was another matter, but that didn’t count.

  What counted was the unpalatable truth. The kiss had been another mistake. He and Erin were no longer husband and wife and nothing was going to change, so there was no point in even thinking abo
ut it.

  It was a good thing, a very good thing, that he and Erin were going to be separated by hundreds of kilometres for almost two months.

  As soon as Luke left with Joey an awful feeling of emptiness invaded Erin. An aching loneliness. She turned back into her hotel room feeling lost and abandoned, as if she’d been set aside, discarded.

  How could she bear it? Letting Joey go had broken her heart. He’d looked so tiny and vulnerable as he’d disappeared down the corridor, hand in hand with Luke.

  And Luke. What on earth was she to make of him? Why had he kissed her?

  If he’d wanted to remind her of the passion that had once been front, back and centre of their lives, he’d been successful. But why? He’d looked so upset afterwards, as if he’d known he’d made an impulsive mistake. Again.

  She was sick with confusion.

  Opening the French doors that led to the balcony, she stepped into sunshine and drew a deep breath of fresh air, and then another. The sky was a beautiful clean blue, as if it had been thoroughly washed, rinsed with fabric softener and hung out to dry—a gorgeous day for flying.

  Oh, help. She felt a swift clutch of panic at the thought of Joey in that tiny plane with Luke, flying all the way north across Queensland. It was such a long journey for a small plane.

  Be safe, little man. She would never forgive Luke if he let anything—

  No, it was silly to even think of it.

  She needed to shut off thoughts of Joey and Luke. They would be gone for almost two months and she would drive herself crazy if she worried the whole time. She had to make an effort now to put them out of her mind.

  This was going to be her time—time for her business, for networking, for revitalising her creativity by indulging in sightseeing trips, visits to art galleries and fashion houses. Down-under designers had a unique view of the world and she wanted to broaden her own perspective.

  And then, after she’d spent some time in Sydney and Melbourne, she was going to rent a little cottage at the seaside. Over the Internet she’d found just the thing at Byron Bay and it was going to be her special treat to herself. She was planning to relax completely and to dabble in whatever creative whim took her fancy—jewellery design, a little landscape painting perhaps and maybe some collage using objects she found beachcombing.

  With her hands resting on the sun-warmed balustrade she let her head fall back. Morning sunlight streamed over her face. She steadied her breathing and fixed her mind on the pleasing image of a smooth white beach and a gentle sun, a shimmering sea, cheerful little waves lapping and a solitary cloud floating…floating…

  In the bedroom behind her, her cellphone rang.

  She jumped. And her first thought was of Joey. Was there a problem? Was he missing her already? Perhaps the call was from Luke. Joey was in tears and Luke didn’t think he could cope.

  Oh, how silly she was. As she dashed back into the bedroom she scolded herself. Snap out of it. Joey’s safe with his father. Get used to it.

  But her hand was trembling as she snatched her cellphone from the nightstand. Primed to hear Luke’s voice, she asked nervously, ‘Hello?’

  ‘Hey, sis.’

  ‘Angie? Is that you?’

  ‘You got another sister you never told me about?’

  Erin was almost smiling as she sank on to the edge of the bed. ‘Oh, Angie, it’s so good to hear your voice. But what time is it there? Shouldn’t you be asleep?’

  ‘Ed was called out to a fire and I couldn’t get back to sleep, so I thought I’d call you. Are you okay? You sound upset.’

  ‘I am a bit. But it’s only because Joey’s just left for the airport. He went off with Luke five minutes ago.’ She pressed a hand to her mouth.

  ‘You’re missing him already.’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Oh, Erin, I wish I could hug you.’

  The sisterly concern in Angie’s voice was almost the undoing of Erin. It took every ounce of her will-power not to burst into tears.

  ‘Does Luke understand how hard this vacation is going to be for you?’ Angie asked. ‘Did you tell him you’ve never been separated from Joey?’

  ‘Luke’s been separated from Joey for five years, so I couldn’t exactly make a fuss.’

  ‘Well, yeah. I guess there’s that.’

  ‘And I don’t want Luke to think I’m turning Joey into a momma’s boy. He’s already alluded to that.’

  ‘Ouch. Not fair.’ Angie let out a noisy, sympathetic sigh. ‘So how is the cowboy?’

  ‘He’s—he’s well.’

  ‘Erin, you know I wasn’t enquiring about his health. How’s his attitude?’

  ‘He’s—’ Erin hesitated. What could she say about Luke? ‘He’s very good with Joey. And Joey is wrapped up in him, of course.’

  ‘That’s a relief. How has he treated you, Erin? Has he been civil? He hasn’t given you a hard time, has he?’

  ‘No, he’s been—fine.’

  ‘Fine? What’s that supposed to mean? Give me details, woman.’

  ‘He’s—he’s been reasonable and cooperative and he’s agreed to my terms. I suppose you could say he hasn’t put a foot wrong.’ The placement of Luke’s lips was another matter, but no way was she going to tell Angie about that kiss. ‘How’s Ed?’

  ‘Ed’s just dandy. Now, back to Luke. Is he still a hunk?’

  ‘Oh, Angie, why ask?’

  ‘I’m curious.’

  ‘He—he looks much the same.’

  Angie didn’t respond immediately and in the uncomfortable silence Erin silently cursed her sister’s uncanny ability to tune in to her secret thoughts—because right at this moment Erin’s thoughts couldn’t let go of how hunky, how exactly right Luke looked.

  She couldn’t help it. There was a part of her that would always be in love with the way Luke Manning looked. In many perplexing ways she still felt so essentially connected to the man that the five years of separation made no difference.

  Seeing Luke again had awoken all the feelings she’d desperately tried to bury. Just being in his company had almost blinded her to their problems. In the past twenty-four hours there’d been dangerous moments when she’d wondered, she’d almost wished…

  No.

  No, no, no. She was simply feeling vulnerable today after saying goodbye to Joey. ‘The weather here’s just gorgeous,’ she said.

  ‘Erin, it’s your sister you’re talking to. When you start delivering weather reports on an international call I know you’re stalling. Come on, what was it like to see Luke again after all this time? I bet there’s still a spark.’

  ‘There were no sparks,’ Erin snapped.

  ‘Okay, okay. No need to bite my head off. But don’t be surprised if romance is in the air. You have Venus in your sign this month.’

  ‘Oh, Angie, give up.’

  Another silence. ‘So what’s the problem, honey?’

  ‘I told you, I’m missing Joey. But don’t worry, I’ll get over that in a day or two.’ Erin wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. ‘I’m moving into another hotel that’s even closer to everything I want to see and I’ve planned a bunch of interesting things to do here in Sydney.’

  ‘Sounds good,’ Angie said gently. ‘Just promise me one thing.’

  ‘What’s that?’

  ‘Don’t fall in love with another Australian.’

  A startled, hiccuping laugh burst from Erin. ‘I promise, I swear. There’s no chance of making that mistake again.’

  ‘Yeah, there’s only one Aussie for you.’

  ‘Angelina! That’s a totally pathetic thing to say.’

  ‘Sorry. I won’t utter another word on the subject. I guess I’d better end this call anyhow.’

  ‘Okay. Thanks for calling. Give my love to Mamma and to Ed.’

  ‘Sure. Ciao, Erin.’

  ‘Ciao.’

  Erin hung up, thinking of home. She thought about her mother, Lucia Lancantore Reilly, a silver-haired dark-eyed woman who was still so beautifu
l at sixty that men of all ages turned in the street to take a second look. But, as far as Erin knew, her mother had never let another man into her life, after her husband.

  Did Mamma ever miss their charming, handsome, raconteur father? Fifteen years ago Peter Reilly had returned to Ireland when his brother had died. He’d stayed on to help run the family farm for a bit, but he’d loved it so much he’d wanted to stay, and although he’d begged Lucia to join him she’d stubbornly refused to leave Manhattan.

  But if her mother had regrets she’d never shared them. Lucia had always shrugged Erin’s questions aside as silly or annoying, claiming that the answers were nobody’s business but hers.

  Lucia claimed she was perfectly happy with her job as a doctor’s receptionist, her church around the corner and her bridge club friends with whom she went to the movies on Saturdays and walked in Central Park between six and seven each weekday morning.

  But are you really happy, Mamma?

  ‘I knew you wouldn’t last in Australia,’ her mother had said when Erin had returned from her marriage, brokenhearted. ‘You’re too much like me. You can’t change.’

  Why hadn’t Erin seen that for herself?

  The answer, of course, was Luke Manning. On a fine summer’s day in New York she’d taken one look at him and she’d discovered the astonishing, illogical, life-changing power of love. Not mushy love, but the real thing. Knowledge too deep for words. An overwhelming force that defied logic.

  She could remember every detail of the fateful day she met Luke. Thinking about it now, she could see it all.

  She’d been in Times Square on a bright summer’s day, mid-morning, on her way to a meeting with Angie and an important new client. As she’d crossed Seventh Avenue she’d been annoyed to find the pavement completely blocked by a crowd gathered around some guy wearing little more than a cowboy hat and strumming a guitar.

  Erin had needed to press on and she’d taken a quick step backwards to bypass a cluster of grinning tourists. And she’d bumped into someone close behind her—someone hard and muscly.