The boy nodded happily.
‘After that I’m going back to Sydney and then to Byron Bay for my holiday, okay?’
‘Yeah, that’s cool,’ the boy said and he grinned at his father.
For a terrible moment Erin wondered if there was a conspiracy in place, but before she could ask another question the nursing sister arrived and it was time to organise Joey’s checkout.
CHAPTER EIGHT
HOW INSANE WAS this?
She was going back to Warrapinya, to the one place in the world she’d sworn she would never revisit.
The first time she’d seen these sun-baked plains she’d been an ecstatic new bride, bursting with hope and romantic dreams. She’d burned from head to toe every time she’d looked at her gorgeous husband, had gone weak at the knees whenever they had touched.
Well, if she was honest, she hadn’t really changed in that respect. The big difference was that back then they’d touched at every opportunity.
Whereas now…
Now, sitting in Luke’s small plane, heading west, Erin’s eyes misted suddenly and her throat felt as if she’d swallowed a small mountain.
How naïve she’d been when she’d married Luke. She’d had such a romanticised idea of what it would be like to live in the Australian Outback. Such a dewy-eyed picture—a cosy farmhouse kitchen filled with shelves of colourful homemade preserves, sprigged eiderdowns on beds in lavender-scented rooms, fresh, pure country air filling her lungs as she hung linen on an outdoor clothes-line.
Those things were possible at Warrapinya, but somehow they hadn’t seemed quite so alluring once she’d been there, confronted with loneliness and the feeling of not belonging.
No one in the Outback was very interested in costume jewellery—so even her career choice had seemed frivolous and out of place.
She’d tried extra hard to prove to everyone that she could cope. She would be as capable as any Outback woman. She’d always been very well organised, so she’d been sure she’d soon get the hang of managing the homestead and being a cattleman’s wife.
Problem was, in the Outback there was so much she couldn’t organise. Life there was so dependent on nature. The vagaries of the weather and the land and the cattle ruled everything.
And the distances were so vast. Erin had never got used to that.
After Joey was born she’d been a nervous new mother. She’d wanted to be able to run to a drugstore every time her baby had a sniffle. At home in New York there was a drugstore on every block.
She had been terribly homesick. She had missed her mother and Angie so much.
And Joey had been a difficult baby—he never just ate and slept. And he’d cried so much. He’d had no routine. Erin had always been tired and on edge.
She had hoped when she married Luke that his easygoing attitude would rub off on her but it hadn’t. When Luke had shrugged away her concerns about Joey or made a joke of them, she’d just got tenser. It had been so disappointing that Luke hadn’t understood what a big deal those worries had been for her.
She’d become neurotic. She realised that now. Maybe there’d been some post-natal depression involved too. She’d had a million books on baby health and she’d begun to think that Joey had symptoms for just about everything. It had been just awful to be eternally worried about her baby. She’d needed other women to chat to. She’d needed reassurance. Reassurance she could trust—from other women who’d had babies.
She’d befriended Gracie, an Aboriginal woman who lived on the property and was married to Nails. But Gracie had never been blessed with children, so there were limits to how much she could help.
Luke had kept trying to jolly her out of her worries. He’d still thought just about everything could be fixed with a cuddle. But she’d been past jollying.
She had been playing tragedy to his comedy.
And then Luke had seemed to spend more and more time away from the homestead and Erin had begun to think that he preferred working with his cattle to being at home with her.
Eventually it had all got too much for her. She hadn’t been able to cope with the isolation and the fears about Joey as well as the loss of Luke’s love.
In the end she’d decided she had no choice. It would be better for all of them—for herself, for Luke and for Joey—if she left.
‘It won’t be long before we’re landing,’ Luke called over his shoulder. ‘If you keep your eyes peeled to the right you’ll see the trees along the creek and then the homestead.’
Swiping at her eyes, she looked out and was surprised that, in spite of her gloomy memories, she felt quite nostalgic when she saw the wandering blue-green line of huge shady paperbark trees that marked the creek. Next she saw windmills set on tall metal scaffolds and then the faded red tin roof of the low, sprawling homestead, surrounded by paddocks of dull yellow grass dotted with cattle.
Ten minutes later, Luke was deftly landing his twin engined Aero Commander.
There was a cheer squad waiting at the edge of the airstrip. Three little blond-headed, cheeky-faced boys in jeans, checked shirts and cowboy hats were leaping and waving and five Golden Labrador puppies bounced at their feet.
When Joey emerged from the plane a great deal of shouting and peals of laughter burst from the Manning cousins. Almost immediately Joey scooped up one of the puppies and squealed with delight as it licked his face, bump on the forehead and all.
‘The doctors took pictures of inside my head,’ he told the boys, full of self-importance.
‘Did they find a brain?’ the eldest cousin joked and all the boys, including Joey, fell about laughing.
‘Now, come on, hurry, Mommy,’ cried Joey. ‘I’ve got so much to show you. Wait till you see Cassie. She’s the puppies’ mother and she lets a kitten drink her milk along with her own babies.’
‘Oh, my, I can hardly wait,’ Erin said.
‘Hold your horses, Joey,’ Luke called as the boys began to charge off.
The little herd of eager boys and puppies stopped and turned.
‘You can’t rush off madly the minute you hit this place,’ Luke said. ‘You’ve only just got out of hospital. Don’t forget, you’ve had a nasty accident and you gave us all a fright. Your mother and I both had to give up other things we wanted to do just to make sure you were okay, and so far you’ve got off scot-free. By rights, you should have been in trouble for disobeying orders.’
Chastened, Joey nodded solemnly and the other boys stood by him, looking suitably subdued.
‘No running,’ said Luke. ‘You’ve got to take things quietly.’
Erin couldn’t help admiring Luke’s cool command. He had a definite talent for fatherhood. There were times when she was too soft with Joey and she could have done with some of that back-up.
But if Luke had been cool and in charge with Joey, he was tense as he walked beside her across the stretch of lawn to the homestead. Or perhaps it was she who was suddenly tense as they approached the house. Or was it both of them?
They reached the base of the front steps and her insides twisted as she pictured once again the awful memory of the day she left. She saw again the flowers from Luke’s bouquet strewn across these timber steps like fallen bodies on a battlefield: fluffy stems of golden wattle, long tubular petals of crimson grevillea, a tangle of dainty purple wildflowers…
Pressing her hand against the sudden ache in her chest, she glanced up and saw a flash of wild emotion in Luke’s face.
She wanted to say something, not an apology exactly, but an acknowledgement of the pain she’d caused him, the pain they’d both suffered. But the right words wouldn’t come.
And then a woman with corn-coloured hair and a beaming smile came running along the veranda, wiping floury hands on an apron. ‘Hello, there,’ she called and without any dimming of her smile she held out her hands. ‘You must be Erin. I’m Jenny Manning and I’ve been dying to meet you.’
To Erin’s surprise, Jenny hugged her and kissed her, as if they were cousins
too.
‘Oh, no, I’ve put flour on you,’ Jenny said, noticing a white smudge on Erin’s smart navy shirt.
‘It doesn’t matter.’
‘Keith’s still out at the mustering camp,’ Jenny told Luke, and Erin assumed she was referring to her husband, who managed Warrapinya these days. No doubt Jenny was a perfect Outback woman who coped exceptionally well with her husband’s frequent absences.
‘Can you show Erin to her room?’ Jenny asked Luke. It’s made up and ready. I’ll take care of the boys.’
With a stern-faced dip of his head, Luke indicated that Erin should come with him down the veranda, but then he strode ahead of her with her small overnight bag and Joey’s duffel bag flung over one shoulder and she was forced to follow. Like an obedient dog, she thought, watching his stiff back.
Everything at Warrapinya was familiar and yet different. The sweep of timber-planked verandas with French doors opening on to them were just as she remembered, but the house had been given a coat of white paint and looked fresh and clean. It had always been a cool and comfortable home in a careless kind of way, but now big tubs of ferns had been set along the verandas making it extra shady and inviting.
And there was a wonderfully boy-friendly construction in one corner—a cubby style tent made from old sheets, quilts, a couple of broom handles and clothes pegs.
Wherever she looked memories lurked, ready to ambush her. So many memories. Bliss and pain. Especially when Luke stopped outside a familiar door and she caught a glimpse of a double bed covered with a quilt in a patchwork of pink, white and blue.
‘No.’ Her voice was a shaky whisper. ‘I can’t have this room.’
It had been their room. She’d bought that quilt for their bed before she left America. At the time she’d joked that she couldn’t live in a house on a prairie without an American quilt.
She and Luke had shared that bed. Oh, heaven, how they’d shared it.
‘This is where I told Jenny to put you. She’s got it all ready for you,’ Luke said gruffly. ‘Most of your things are still in the wardrobe.’
‘But isn’t this your room?’
A bitter smile twisted his mouth. ‘You don’t think I kept using it after you left, do you?’
Erin struggled to breathe. ‘I—I—don’t know what I thought. But I’d prefer another room if that’s possible.’
He set her bag beside the bed.
‘There’s nothing wrong with this one.’
How could he be so insensitive? ‘So this is a form of discipline, is it? You won’t sleep here, but you expect me to. Why? Because I’m the guilty party?’
A bitter light glittered in his eyes. ‘I shifted to another room for purely practical reasons, Erin. A double bed is useful for guests. My parents, for example. They use this room when they come out here. I didn’t expect you to have so many hang-ups about where you sleep.’
‘Hang-ups?’ Suddenly she wanted to hit him. ‘Give me a break, Luke. I’m just trying to be—’
She broke off, remembering the fuss she’d made about Luke’s spare room in Townsville.
‘Let’s drop it, shall we?’ she said, sounding hopelessly defeated. ‘I only enquired if there was another option. This room will be fine.’
Luke was already halfway out the door. ‘Do you think you’ll be able to find your way about the place if I leave you now to stow Joey’s things away?’
‘Yes, of course. Where does Joey sleep?’
‘On the closed-in veranda with the other boys.’
‘He’d love that.’
She could imagine Joey’s excitement when he’d discovered he would be sharing that long, dormitory-style bedroom with three other boys. It would be like having a sleep-over party every night. How different from their compact apartment in New York and the urban life he shared with her—just the two of them.
Joey would love everything about this place—boys, horses, puppies…his dad…and, because it was winter, he didn’t even have the heat to contend with.
The fear that had gnawed at her since she began this venture resurfaced with a vengeance. Would Joey ever want to come home again? Wouldn’t he be lonely with only her for company?
And then she thought…if she and Luke had stayed together, Joey would almost certainly have a brother or sister by now.
But what a useless, unhelpful thought that was.
Luke charged through the house like a storm trooper.
He was a fool. A first-class fool. He’d been crazy to invite Erin here.
But he hadn’t been able to resist the temptation. His burning attraction for her had never died. She was still The One. He wanted her more than any woman he’d ever known.
After he’d kissed her in Sydney, after he’d held her at the hospital, all he could think of was how much he needed to keep her in his arms. In his life.
What a hypocrite he was. All the while he was telling Erin off for making a fuss about the bed, he’d been thinking of nothing but grabbing her. He’d wanted to dive into that bed with her and not surface for a week.
These next two days would be hell. He would go mad to see her here, in the home where he’d thought they’d been happy.
Two days. A rueful little laugh broke from Luke. These two days would be fitting punishment for his foolishness.
The bedroom Luke and Erin had shared was on a corner of the house with windows looking out over paddocks on one side and back to the small cluster of station workers’ cottages on the other.
Leaning her elbows on one of the sills, Erin looked out at one of the cottages and saw her old friend Gracie, framed by a window, setting a kettle on the stove.
When she’d lived at Warrapinya she’d been very fond of the shy Aboriginal woman despite the wide gap in their ages and the even wider gap between their cultures.
Many times, when Joey had been restless, the two women had taken turns to pace the veranda with him and then, after they’d got him to sleep, they’d often had a cuppa and a chat.
Impulsively, Erin waved to her old friend now.
Gracie saw her and her face split into a beaming grin as she waved back. Suddenly she ducked and appeared again holding something out to Erin. It looked like a coffee pot. Gracie leaned out of her window. ‘Can you come over for a visit?’ she called.
Why not? Erin decided. No one would miss her if she paid her old friend a very quick visit.
‘Lord love us, Missus Erin!’ Gracie’s smile was huge as she greeted Erin at her door. ‘It’s so good to see you. Come in. Come on in.’
Gracie’s hair was completely grey now and she looked much older than Erin remembered.
‘Sit down,’ she said, her dark eyes shining with delight. ‘I was hoping I might see you. I even brewed some coffee.’ Gracie pointed to the American coffee pot Erin had left behind. ‘Every now and then I make coffee for Nails and me—just like you showed me.’
‘Wonderful. I’d love a cup of coffee.’
Gracie poured coffee into mugs with great care. ‘You know, Nails and I talk about you a lot. We remember how kind you were to us.’
‘As I remember, it was the other way round.’
Gracie grinned. ‘That Joey of yours is growing fast. He’s a fine boy. Going to be as big as the Boss one day.’
‘Do you think so?’
‘I can tell by the size of his feet.’
‘Like a puppy?’
The two women laughed together.
‘Tell me what you’ve been doing,’ said Erin.
They were starting their second cup of coffee when the thud of a boot on the kitchen step startled them. It was followed by a large masculine shape filling the doorway.
Luke.
The sense of peace Erin had felt in Gracie’s kitchen disintegrated.
‘Excuse me for barging in, Gracie,’ Luke said and then he frowned sharply as he switched his attention to Erin. ‘Everyone’s been looking for you.’ He sounded more than a little angry and there was an unsettling wildness in his eyes.
‘You didn’t turn up for afternoon tea and we’ve been combing the homestead. Joey’s in a panic. He thinks you’ve left us.’
‘Oh, goodness.’ Erin leapt to her feet. ‘I’m so sorry. I didn’t realise you were expecting me for afternoon tea. Gracie and I got talking and we lost track of time.’
Luke took a deep breath as if he was deliberately trying to calm down, and Erin was more than a little shocked to realise that he and Joey had both been so worried by her disappearance.
‘Gracie, can I use your phone?’ he said. ‘I’ll let Jenny know. She can put Joey’s mind at rest.’
‘Sure, Boss.’
Luke lifted the receiver and snapped a short message. ‘I’ve found her, Jen. She’s at Gracie’s. Tell Joey we’re coming.’
‘Poor Joey,’ murmured Erin. Was his panic a foretaste of how he would be when she had to leave? She took Gracie’s hands. ‘Thanks for the coffee. I’m so glad we were able to catch up. It’s been just lovely to talk to you again.’
‘Before you go, I’ve got something for you.’ Gracie crossed to the dresser and picked up a flat parcel wrapped in bright red tissue paper. ‘Something special.’
‘A present for me?’ Erin’s eyes widened in surprise.
‘When we knew you were coming back I started making it for you. It’s got your name on it.’
Mystified, Erin unwrapped the gift and, to her astonishment, discovered a hand towel, snowy white with green crocheted edging and her name carefully embroidered in one corner.
‘You did all this last night?’
Gracie giggled. ‘No, Missus. Started it a month back, doing it at night. It took me a week.’
A month ago? Erin frowned and sent a questioning glance Luke’s way, but he was staring at the gift with the same kind of surprise she felt. How could Gracie have known she was coming to Warrapinya?
‘What’s the matter?’ Now Gracie looked worried too. ‘Did I spell your name wrong?’
‘No, no,’ Erin reassured her. ‘It’s perfect. It’s a lovely gift. Thank you so much, Gracie. I’m just amazed that you started it a month ago. We only decided yesterday that I would come back with Joey for a couple of days.’
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