Her Lord and Protector (formerly titled On Silent Wings)

by Pam Roller

  “Lady Drayton,” he said as if testing the words. His brow creased slightly as he turned her palms up. “Your hands are damp.”

  Katherine gazed at her husband and smiled, unwilling to allow her tension to show. Whatever happened, she would do her wifely part.

  “Are you nervous about tonight?”

  She was nervous about the rest of her life with this man. His cool statement that he couldn’t love her warred with his hot kisses, but which could she ever believe?

  She smiled a little shyly, and nodded. As she thought about his mouth on hers, however, a restlessness stirred within. Her dreams came back to her in full force and she shivered with anticipation and ran her tongue across her lips.

  Watching her, Alex’s eyes grew intense. His long fingers played over hers across the table. “Have you a chill?” His voice was teasing, for he knew exactly what she was thinking, could surely see it in her eyes.

  She smiled, wider this time, as did he.

  Alex rose and stood next to her chair. “Perhaps I can help to warm you, my lady. If you please, I shall accompany you to our bed.”

  Oh, mercy. Here it was. She nibbled at her bottom lip.

  He pulled her up to him and wrapped her in his arms. She could feel a low sound in his chest, perhaps a chuckle. “Your heart is pounding. ’Tis all right. I will be gentle.”

  She was surrounded by him, his scent, his warmth. He simply stood and held her for a time, caressing her back and head, until her heart began to pound not with nerves, but with desire. A sensation grew deep within her that made her mouth open slightly and her breath quicken.

  He cradled her head. “My wife.” He met her mouth with a long, slow kiss that tasted of wine, his tongue moving in languorous strokes in her mouth.

  He kept his mouth sealed on hers as he lifted her and carried her to the bed, and lowered her to it. For long moments he lay beside her, teasing her lips and tongue with his, and then kissed her cheeks, her eyes, her forehead.

  Sitting up, he removed his boots, an intimate act to her because of what it would lead to. And she wanted it, wanted to be with him. Her hand caressed the smooth velvet of his black waistcoat as he half tossed the boots toward the wall and then turned to her.

  As they had dismissed Millie for the night two hours before, Katherine still had on her wedding dress, and the full, billowing monteau skirt spread over the bed. The numerous bunches and points along the skirt and waist along with the minipuffed sleeves along the arms gave Alex pause.

  “You are wearing armor,” he mused, running his gaze over the yards and layers of white beribboned material and the hard, flat stomacher over her middle. “They do not make this easy on a man, do they?”

  Laughing silently, Katherine began unfastening the stomacher. Alex joined in, and soon they had removed it.

  “There went your shield,” he said, tossing it over his shoulder. He fingered the tiny satin buttons that fastened her bodice together. “Now for the breastplate.”

  A moment later, her bodice loosened, Katherine’s lacy petticoat was revealed. Feeling suddenly shy, she closed her eyes as Alex moved his lips over her breasts.

  “So sweet,” he sighed, and then kissed her mouth again.

  He helped her to her feet, and she stood on trembling legs as the dress puddled to the floor. Kneeling, he reached under her petticoat and slid his hands up her legs, then removed each white silk stocking. The erotic pressure of his fingers on her thighs nearly made her knees buckle, but she anchored her hands on his broad shoulders until she had lifted each foot for him to slide the stockings off.

  He rose then, his hands moving leisurely up her legs and hips and waist. Kissing her neck and shoulders, he skimmed his fingers over the sleeves of the petticoat until it joined the clothing on the floor.

  Alex stepped back. At his slow, encompassing gaze up her body, she almost spun toward the opposite wall to hide herself. But then, she looked into his eyes, sultry and dark blue with want, and all at once, every bit of her anxiety vanished.

  “You are more beautiful than I ever imagined,” he breathed.

  She felt beautiful under his gaze. And bold, now. Approaching him, she placed her hands on his black velvet vest and spread it until it fell from his shoulders. Then, she tugged his long linen shirt from his breeches.

  Moving faster now, his breath quickening, Alex tore at the broad folds of his cravat until it floated to the floor in a heap of rich lace. He dragged his long white shirt over his head.

  Katherine had never been naked in front of a man before, but right now, watching how the candlelight shone golden on his naked torso, she had no sense of awkwardness. Enjoying watching him, she lay down on the bed and stretched her arms lazily behind her head.

  Alex froze, mouth open, his fingers tangled in the fabric laces of his fashionable black petticoat breeches, bought just this afternoon for the wedding. “Oh.” The word was a bare sound. He swallowed, then licked his lips. “I pictured you like this. The day I couldn’t find the marriage contract.”

  She arched one brow.

  “Pay no mind.” Without another word, he jerked the laces free. The voluminous breeches fell to his feet.

  Katherine’s breath left her. He was magnificent. Her gaze meandered down his chest and flat stomach until it stopped at his hips. With a dismayed gasp, she jerked to a sitting position.

  He couldn’t be serious.

  “When you can speak, you will have to tell me why you look so taken aback,” Alex said, concern filling his face. “Have you never seen a man, Katherine?”

  Katherine nibbled at her lip and nodded her head. She had accidentally walked in on a couple at Whitehall one evening, and none other than the Duke of Buckingham had leaped up from the red velvet couch, his stiff penis bobbing like an actor taking a bow. Katherine had fled the room in appall, barely registering the Marchioness of Mansfield tugging down her skirt.

  She had seen a man, but never did she consider that they could vary so greatly in size.

  Alex sat down beside her and brushed a warm, moist feather of a kiss on her cheek. “There’s no need to be afraid. There will be some pain, but it will pass.”

  She was still for a moment, regarding him doubtfully. Then, she lifted the thin coverlet that was folded at the foot of the bed. Shaking it loose, she wrapped it around herself and rose.

  “Katherine?” Alex stood with her, questioning, but she put up a hand for him to wait.

  She walked to the table where sat paper and pen, and stood for a moment, tapping the end of the quill on her lips. How to broach the subject? Finally, she dipped the quill into the ink.

  With somber expression she handed him the paper.

  Alex looked at it and shook his head. “What’s this?” He read her words again. “‘You need a larger wife.’“ Understanding dawned on his face. His lips spread, then widened into a grin.

  All at once, he threw back his head and roared with laughter.

  He thought she was joking. Katherine folded her arms and drummed her bare foot on the floor. All the same, she was aware that this was the first time she had heard him laugh like this, a deep, thunderous sound that filled the room and in no time had her smiling. Still, the whole idea of this coupling seemed impossible.

  “Need a larger...oh, now there’s a good one, Katherine,” he said, and fell back onto the bed holding his stomach.

  Katherine began to sit on the bed to await his composure, but Alex, still chortling, pulled her down against him.

  She buried her face in the soft part of his neck and tried to plan a way out of this. How could she convince him it wouldn’t work? While she thought about it, she noted how clean and smooth was his neck, how carefully he had shaved for her. She tasted him with the tip of her tongue. Slightly salty, fragrant, and very pleasant. She squirmed against him.

  His laughter tapered off to a breathy moan as he rolled her onto her back and pulled the coverlet from her body.

  Her eyes widened and her thighs clenched. Too l
ate.

  “Wait and see,” he whispered, caressing her cheek. “‘Twill fit, love. Wait and see.”

  She gave a dubious nod and opened her legs a bit, squeezed her eyes shut, and waited for him to mount her. Perhaps it would be over soon.

  When nothing happened, she opened her eyes long enough to see what he was doing. Most likely preparing himself with his hand, as she had caught her father’s stable boy doing one day in the corner of a stall.

  Alex was doing nothing but watching her, and the amused smirk on his lips irritated her to the point that she grasped his head and pulled his mouth down onto hers.

  He groaned softly and parted her lips with his tongue, exploring her mouth with slow, sure strokes. One of his hands found her breasts, and he tweaked and pulled at her nipple until she writhed in pleasure. After a while he moved to take her other nipple into his mouth, lapping at it with quick flicks of his tongue. It was then that his fingers slid down her stomach and found her hot center.

  Katherine gasped, and turned to jelly. Every bit of doubt and anxiety vanished under his deft hands.

  No one had ever told her what it was like to be loved by a man, how he could do things to her that made her quiver and sigh in ecstasy. How his very nearness and warmth, the slide of his naked skin on hers, could bring her to paradise.

  There was more, though, something wild inside her that cried out for release. She clutched him, her entire body alive with the all-consuming sensation of his mouth moving over the most intimate and sensitive parts of her. His hands caressed her like feathers, then gently squeezed her flesh until she didn’t even know where she was anymore.

  Sweet heaven, how could he know exactly where to stroke her with his tongue and hands until she thought she would faint away?

  Emboldened, she explored him, touching, tasting his golden skin, nuzzling the tickling hair on his chest. She listened to his soft sighs and whispers of endearment, kissed the rippling, candle-shadowed muscles of his arms and back. Her hand lowering, she found him and glided her fingers along his hard shaft.

  She found her power there, her ability to make him gasp and moan and call out her name, to render him unable to move.

  She delighted in him.

  That deep aching within her longed for release, and instinctively she pulled at his shoulders until he moved on top of her. His body was a warm heavy blanket over her, delightfully weighing her down onto the feather mattress.

  “My beloved,” Alex whispered, and spread her legs with his.

  Beloved. The word burned through her intense pleasure. He might not love her with his heart, but he adored her with his body.

  He pushed himself into her.

  Katherine stiffened with the sudden, sharp pain. Stop, she cried out in her mind, and tried to move out from beneath him.

  He had frozen, was watching her. “There, love, there, ’tis all right. The pain will leave you. Shhh, now, ’tis all right.”

  He kissed the tears from her eyes, then remained poised above her, waiting, his face a mask of concentrated control.

  After a moment the pain did subside, and Katherine relaxed. He shifted within her. She gasped at the sensation.

  He began to move slowly, rhythmically, watching her all the while until he closed his eyes, and Katherine marveled that her body could cause him such pleasure.

  At the same time she noticed that his hips did indeed fit between her thighs perfectly, and that he filled her without hurting her. She lifted her legs and wrapped them around him.

  Alex drew in a ragged breath, and grunted his pleasure.

  Now that the pain had subsided, Katherine found that he was reaching a pleasurable spot deep within her that she never knew existed.

  Until now. And he was moving much too slowly. She squirmed to lift her hips.

  “Yes.” It was a guttural sound. He drove in deeper, his thrusts becoming more rapid and powerful, his muscular body hard and hot and tense.

  Katherine spiraled upwards. Her breath came shallower, faster. After a time her entire body began to stiffen as if she approached the brink of learning some wondrous secret.

  She reached it, gasping, arching her neck. What on earth was happening?

  And then, that damnable cough broke through her throat and severed whatever pleasure might lay beyond the edge.

  A second later, Alex’s body stiffened. With a primal cry, he throbbed his release deep within her womb.

  Katherine turned her head and covered her face with her hand. She didn’t know whether to cry in humiliation or pound on Alex’s back with frustrated whacks.

  He lay still for a time, breathing hard, and then raised his head and gave her gentle kisses on her cheek while he smoothed her tangled hair. “I am sorry. I should have waited.” He slid off her and pulled her into his arms. “But I couldn’t. Katherine, ’twas the strangest feeling. You coughed, and you just...gripped and pulled at me somehow.” He smiled sheepishly. “Not that I want you coughing every time I make love to you, but I tell you that it sent me straight over the top.”

  Katherine gave a silent, sardonic laugh and closed her eyes. At least she had found a use for her affliction.

  “How do you feel?” he asked.

  Good. Wonderful. But incomplete. She opened her eyes, wondering how to put in written words the not-quite-there frustration that screamed within her right now, but she didn’t understand it enough to describe it. So she simply shrugged and nodded.

  “Hmmm.” He slid his hand between her legs and touched her on her sensitive little nub.

  Katherine arched her back and sucked in breath in sudden, hot pleasure. She felt him against her leg, hardening again, and she wanted him inside her.

  “I thought so. I have not satisfied you,” he murmured, stroking her gently and kissing her neck. “I shall remedy that right away, my lovely wife.”

  And he did. Oh, yes, he did.

  ****

  Deep into the night, Alex raised himself on one elbow and gazed upon his slumbering beauty. She lay on her side facing him, hair loose and tousled, her face peaceful, her lips well-kissed. His wife.

  Bless her, Alex thought. Bless the fates—her father’s treachery, the fire, Rochester’s bootlicking deeds—for bringing Katherine into his arms. He searched deep within himself and found absolutely no regrets.

  “Thank you, dear Katherine,” he whispered, and gave her a gentle kiss on one smooth shoulder. “Thank you.”

  Chapter Twenty-two

  That afternoon, her heart pounding with hope and anxiety, Katherine paced the inn room while Millie stood watch at the window. Alex had gone for the doctor.

  Katherine paused every so often with tiny, shivering gasps, recalling last night and early this morning. Ah, what wonderful things Alex had done to her with the most virile part of him that she had at first feared would tear her up inside.

  But oh, even though her body ached in her most tender, secretive places, she wanted him again, right now. He’d done something to her that second time, and again a third, something that made her explode in hot pleasure and lose all sense of the world.

  “They’re here!” Millie turned from the window with a wide smile that showed all three gaps between her front teeth.

  A moment later, Alex and a tall, thin man wearing all black entered the room.

  When Alex came to stand by her side, his eyes hungry and possessive, Katherine’s tender nipples burned.

  Alex made introductions, and Katherine lowered a curtsy on her wobbly legs. He placed a hand on her elbow and, with a knowing sparkle and warmth that lit his eyes, helped her back up.

  The doctor set a large brown leather bag on the floor, then regarded her with kindly features and intelligent gaze. “You lost your voice by breathing in heated smoke, is that correct?”

  Katherine nodded.

  “And you have tried to speak since then?”

  Of course she had. She nodded again as impatience nipped at her.

  “The king’s physician pronounced her perm
anently mute,” Alex said. “And the Earl of Rochester had two other doctors examine her.”

  The doctor nodded slowly, his eyes on Katherine. “Yes. And they also found nothing?”

  Katherine hesitated, sensing hope seep away. Three doctors had concluded her condition as permanent, and one was the king’s own physician. Who would question an authority such as he?

  “No, nothing,” Alex answered for her.

  “Did they give recommendations despite their findings?” the doctor asked.

  At the writing table Katherine wrote, Said try to sing. Shout. They used leeches. Arsenic and bismuth. King’s touch. Disgust curled her lips at this last as she recalled His Majesty first stroking her throat like a lover, then slipping his hand into her bodice to squeeze her breast. Over her shoulder, she heard Alex’s grunt of displeasure.

  “Fools. How could they want you to sing and shout if you couldn’t even speak?” he asked.

  “And you mentioned a cough, Lord Drayton,” the doctor said.

  “She coughed a great deal when she arrived at my home, but it seems to have subsided somewhat.” Alex paused. “Except for last night.”

  Her head lowered, Katherine tried to hide the blush that burned her cheeks.

  “The clean country air has helped, I presume,” said the doctor, either ignoring or unaware of the implication of that statement. “And this cough began when?”

  The fire—smoke.

  “Ah. Do you see blood when you cough?”

  Katherine frowned and shook her head.

  “Good.” The doctor leaned down and snapped opened his bag. “I shall now examine you. Please take a seat.”

  Millie’s eyes shone as she looked from Alex to Katherine. “Come, m’lady, let’s get ye seated here,” she said. She pulled up a chair near the window.

  While Katherine sat, the doctor removed a strange contraption from his brown leather bag. It resembled a lantern, yet was attached with a long brass tube with a curved end. The tube narrowed until it was no more than the width of Katherine’s pinkie.