Broken

by Willow Rose

  I took William by the hand and we walked very fast towards the docks. Then we began the search from an end. We took the first boat at the closest dock. First we listened to hear if there was any knocking. Nothing. Then we called for her.

  "Luyu. Luyu!"

  I looked at William. "Does it look like it could be this boat?" I asked.

  He shook his head. "I don't think so."

  "There is nothing here you recognize? Look at it carefully," I said and pointed at the deck of the boat.

  He shook his head again.

  "Okay. Let’s try the next one," I said and walked towards the next boat that was tied to the dock. This was a big one. Two stories. I sighed. Then I decided we had to get on board of it if we were to check it all out. I looked at William. "Do you have any idea if it was a sailboat or a speedboat?" I asked.

  "No."

  "Okay," I said. "Then we'll just have to check each and every one that is big enough to have rooms and cabins you could hide a child in. I grabbed William by the waist and lifted him up onto the deck. Then I climbed the boat as well. It was so big it hardly moved by our weight.

  We called her name again. Then we listened. I looked around and told William to do the same. "Search the boat for small rooms and things you might recognize from your dream."

  So we did. I went upstairs, William went downstairs. I searched all rooms and cabinets. If they were locked I knocked on them and called her name. But it was a small hope that she would even hear us. She could after all have dropped unconscious from starvation or even worse, thirst.

  "Luyu, Luyuuu," I heard William call with his small voice. It was shaking slightly. I could tell he was worried.

  I stared around me, looked desperately behind things to find small closets and cabinets. Then I ran downstairs and helped William search there as well. There were so many places on this one boat that she could be. And there were hundreds of boats just like this one. How were we supposed to find her? Would we make it in time? She had been alone for two days at least. Did she have access to food? To water? It had been hot both days. Eighty-eight degrees. The sun shone bright at every boat down here. It would be insanely hot in a small room like that with no air conditioning. She could easily have lost consciousness. Maybe we were even too late? She had to be very dehydrated. Humans couldn't live long without anything to drink in heat like this in a small closed room with no air. Especially a little skinny five-year-old girl.

  "We have to try the next boat," William said and started walking across the deck. I grabbed him and placed him back on the dock.

  We ran to the next boat and jumped its deck. Again we called and searched and searched and called and listened to hear if she would try to contact us in any way. A small knock, a moan, anything. But we found nothing on this boat either. Nor the next or the next. We searched at least fifty boats without any results. We became frantic, even hysterical in our search and fight against the cruelest of all opponents; time.

  We searched high and low; we searched sailboats with wooden decks, speedboats with white leather seats. We searched big boats, small boats even some we knew had no sleeping cabins. But for all we knew she could be in a small closet. Anything and everything was searched, still there was nothing. No sign, no traces of Luyu.

  A couple of hours later William started crying. I took him in my arms and held him tight. "How are we going to find her, Far?" He asked. "There are so many boats. So many rooms. Do you think she is dead?"

  "No I don't," I said. "I think she might be very sick from dehydration, because she hasn't had anything to drink in a long time and that might be why we can't hear her knock and call. But I do believe we will find her ... alive."

  William wiped his eyes. I helped him with my hand. "We will find her," I said. "We can't give up now."

  I got up and glanced out on the ocean. Two boats anchored in the middle of the water caught my eye. Two big speedboats.

  "Can't the police help us?" he asked sobbing.

  I nodded still with my eyes fixated on the two boats. "We'll probably have to call them. It's just a little hard to explain how we know that she is in one of these boats," I said while I spotted a man on one of the boats. Then another came appeared on the deck. He looked like he was working, like a handyman that didn't belong there. So one of the boats had people on it, what looked like workers. They were drinking beers on the deck probably to celebrate the end of the work day. The other seemed empty. "Say what was it you said about the voices?" I asked.

  "What do you mean?" William asked.

  "You said something about voices. That Luyu could hear voices. Men who were talking. Am I wrong?"

  "No. That's right. She could hear voices. But they couldn't hear her. They were too far away," William said.

  "Distant voices," I mumbled and walked closer to the end of the dock so I could better see. The two boats rocked in the water. The men in the other boat laughed and drank their beers. They were wearing heavy tool belts with screwdrivers, pliers, wire cutters and strippers, electrical test meters, electrical tape and wire connecters. They had to be electricians. Just like Michael. They had to be working on the two boats anchored in the water. They were done on the first boat and now they worked on the second one but still held the keys to the other. That's how he could have hidden her there. The two boats were just far enough apart for them to be unable to hear her. But not so far away that she couldn't hear them. It had to be the one, I thought. It just had to be.

  "Far. Your eyes are glowing again," William said.

  I stared at him, then lifted my head and looked at the sky. Sunset. The sun was getting ready to set! That's why I was seeing better. That's how I was able to see the details and tools in their belts. I searched around us and spotted a public restroom not far away. The tickling sensation was back in my fingers as I took William's hand in mine. He gasped when he saw the claws.

  "Don't be afraid, William. I am about to show you a secret. Something that no one knows about me, not even mom. You can never tell anyone, okay?" I asked while I felt my face start to change. Out came the pointy ears and my hands were now covered in black glossy fur. William stared at me in disbelief.

  "Just trust me, okay? Can you do that?" I asked.

  He hesitated. Then he nodded carefully.

  "What's happening to you, Far?"

  "I'm ... I'm changing, son. I do that every night. I transform into something different."

  "What is it?" He reached out and touched my face gently with a child's curiosity.

  "It's a jaguar, buddy. I become a black jaguar."

  "Cool!" he exclaimed.

  I chuckled. Only a child would react in such a way. "But now I have to go to the bathroom and leave all my clothes," I said. "I don't want anyone to see me. It has to stay a secret. When I come out I will have fully changed into the jaguar, okay? Don't be afraid."

  "I won't. But what about Luyu?"

  "I will swim out to get her. It's the only way. Jaguars are excellent swimmers. But I want you to stay right here, okay? Keep an eye on me. I will call Sarah and have her come here to get you home. I saw a payphone by the restrooms and I think I can make it before I change completely. If anything goes wrong. Anything at all then go to the parking lot where the taxis are. Jump into a taxi and have them take you home, alright? Here," I said and handed him my credit card. "Use this to get you home. Give this to the driver. I will not be able to speak to you once I am the jaguar. Nor will I be able to show myself to anyone. So you have to do this alone. Do you think you can do that?"

  "Of course I can. But you must hurry up now, Far, your face is already all different. You have to hurry."

  I kissed him on the forehead before I stormed to the payphone. Sarah took much too long to pick up. I could hardly hold on to the phone with my paws. I was about to run out of time.

  "I need you to come to the marina by the Bridge of Lions. William is there on the dock and he needs to be taken home. I have no time to explain," I said.

  Then I
hung up and ran to the restroom and found a booth big enough to fit me even as a jaguar. I ripped off my clothes and threw them on the floor just in time for the change to be completed. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror just as I started to walk out the restroom. I could only hope that I wouldn't scare William or Luyu when they saw me.

  When I came outside the sun had set completely. William was waiting for me right where I had asked him to. He gasped again when he saw me. Then he looked at me carefully, like was he trying to figure out whether to fear me or pet me. I walked slowly closer. My eyes caught his and he smiled by the recognition. He inhaled.

  "Wow, Far. That is so cool," he exclaimed.

  Cautiously he planted the palm of his hand in the fur on my back. His voice was shaking. "Wow. Wow, Far," he kept repeating.

  I glanced at him one last time before I jumped into the water.

  Chapter 37

  It was a long swim, longer than any I had tried before as a jaguar. I wasn't sure I was even able to do it without taking any breaks. They were at least two hundred yards out there I figured. Where my strength came from that night in the warm dark water, I don't know, but it was hardly human. Maybe it came from thinking about Luyu alone out there on this boat desperately waiting for help, not knowing if she would ever see the day of light or those she loved again. Starved, thirsty, weak from banging and yelling. Maybe it was just part of the supernatural strength I had received with the fountain that was now in my blood. Maybe it was a combination. It didn't matter. What matters was that I managed to raise all that strength inside of me, a combination of fury, anger, worry and determination. Willpower. I was not going to let her die out there on that boat.

  Halfway there I turned my head to see if William was still all right back at the dock and I saw him standing there looking all of a sudden very grown up. I hated having to leave him there in that place all alone and I worried that something would happen to him while I was gone, but there was no turning back now. Sarah was on her way and I had to keep swimming forward toward that empty boat. I had to save Luyu.

  Soon I spotted the electricians who had been working on the second boat starting to leave it. They climbed down the back and into a small dinghy. Laughing and chatting they started the small engine attached and motored back towards the marina. I dove under the surface and kept swimming as they passed me. I wondered how Michael had been able to keep Luyu out there for this long without them noticing it. He had to have brought her there at night. I shivered by the thought of him forcing Luyu out on the boat. What could he possibly have told her?

  I swam faster, driven by the thought of Michael and what he had done to his own family. It was a combination of anger and guilt. I could have prevented this. If only I had not persuaded Aiyana to stay with me in the swamps that night. If I had protected her, if I hadn't let her go in the first place ten years ago. But it really wasn't my choice was it? She had chosen to marry this man. But maybe ... maybe if I had fought harder for her. The anger grew inside of me. The regret was eating me up. Those choices that were so important early in our lives, why didn't we make them more carefully? Well I could hardly have known that it would have gone so bad with me and Heather and with Aiyana and Michael. How could I? I suddenly understood Wyanet's statement ten years ago when she told me to listen to my heart. The heart always knew what was best, she said. But it wasn't too late, I thought as I came closer to the boat. I could still make up for all this and make new choices for myself. And this time I knew what it was going to be.

  Panting with exhaustion I threw the upper part of my body on the small landing behind the boat. Slowly I managed to pull myself out of the water. My entire body was aching, my wounds were hurting badly and I had to lie on the deck to catch my breath again.

  A sound caught my attention and made me stand on my feet again. It wasn't like a loud sound, more a steady, rhythmic banging. It was knocking! I forgot about my hurting leg and fatigue. I was filled with new hope. The boat was big, much bigger than it seemed from a distance. It was more of a yacht.

  I started searching. There were many rooms and cabinets. I began my search downstairs, went inside the lower deck, trying to listen and find the small knocking sound. I searched the first room with the bar and leather sofas and dining room table that seated ten people. There was a kitchen in the back with many closets and cabinets. I opened them by lashing my paw at them or using my snout. Pots, pans, tablecloths, but no Luyu. I listened again. The knocking was weak still but at least it was there. She had to be alive. I found a bathroom bigger than my own at the house. More closets to open, but still nothing. I found a bedroom with carpets and closets and a king-size bed. Sparkling beautiful dresses like the ones Heather used to wear, but no Luyu. I ran outside on the balcony and then jumped to the upper level. More rooms with beds and closets, more tables to sit at and enjoy the view, but still no Luyu. I stopped and listened again. The knocking was closer now. She had to be here on the upper deck somewhere. I ran desperately through all the rooms again and searched everywhere that could be without light and had wooden panels and floors.

  Still nothing. I was frantic now, on the verge of panicking. I scratched the nice surfaces with my claws not caring about leaving any trace of me being there. I knocked over small tables and lamps with my body, I searched high and low and everywhere I could, but I could not find Luyu.

  Weary and almost hysterical I sat down and tried to think. I used to sail as a child. Not speedboats and yachts like this, but sailboats. We used to go on long vacations to Sweden in our family boat. Those were some of the best times of my life. I had the most wonderful memories from those trips. What was it I used to do? I used to hide from my mother so she couldn't find me. I was an expert at finding small spots to hide on our boat. When you are small you can hide in very small places. So small that grown people would never even think of looking for you there.

  I jumped back to the upper deck and started searching across the wood with my snout for a crack, a small handle. Suddenly I felt one. I grabbed it with my teeth and pulled the small golden ring. A storage room appeared. It was filled with ropes and lifejackets. I closed it and continued on. I searched across the wooden deck until I caught a scent. It was human. I found another small handle, another golden ring. I opened it but found only ropes. I searched again. The scent grew stronger. As I grabbed another small handle with my teeth and started pulling the hatch open I heard a noise from underneath. It was someone moaning, a weak weeping.

  It was her. It was Luyu.

  With all my strength powers I pulled the ring and opened the hatch. There, down in that dark hole with wooden walls around her, lay Luyu. The room was so small, so narrow that it was impossible for her to move much. I gasped when I saw her. She looked up at me with weary eyes caused by the dehydration. She wasn't afraid of me and I saw a fatigued smile on her lips as I reached down and grabbed her blouse between my teeth and pulled her up. She grabbed on to my neck with her hands as I lifted her out. Then she fell onto the deck with a soft groan.

  I had to move quickly now. I jumped downstairs to the kitchen and found a refrigerator. I opened it by pushing it with my snout, hoping it was not empty. Luckily it wasn't. I grabbed a bottle of water in my mouth and ran upstairs. Luyu had her eyes closed but was still breathing. I woke her by pushing her gently with my snout letting the water bottle fall onto the deck next to her. She opened her eyes and looked at me with a smile. I believe at that moment she knew perfectly well who I was. She touched my face gently and stroked me on the head. I pushed her again, urging her to get up and grab the bottle. Then she drank. She emptied the bottle and left it on the wooden deck. I pushed her again with my snout then turned my back at her.

  "What?" she mumbled with a faint voice. "You want me to jump on your back?"

  Smart girl, I thought as she with much difficulty climbed my back and held her arms tightly around my neck. Then I jumped with her, first downstairs, then into the water.

  I swam with her on my back
all the way. When we approached the dock in the marina I spotted William who was still waiting for me there, along with Sarah standing next to him. When he spotted me in the distance fighting in the water to keep Luyu's head above the surface he started yelling.

  "Luyu!!! You found her! Luyu!"

  I swam towards the shore next to all the docks while William ran on the wooden dock next to me yelling and crying for Luyu. Sarah came trotting after him in a much slower pace staring at me with a mixture of disbelief and marvel. I climbed onto the shore still with Luyu on my back and then I collapsed. William threw himself at Luyu and held her tight in a long hug. Then they laughed. The sound of their laughter made me rise to my feet again. I was hurting, limping and sore all over but none of that mattered at that very moment. Luyu was safe.

  Sarah had stopped a few feet away but dared slowly to come closer. She helped Luyu get on her feet, and then stared at me with great wonder.

  I snarled at them and urged them to leave me there. To go home and take care of Luyu. They understood immediately. Luyu held on to William while they walked. Before they left me Sarah turned and looked at me with a gentle smile.

  "See you at home, doctor," she said.

  Chapter 38

  I never made it to the swamps that night even if everything inside of me craved it, even if I longed for the hunt. Hard as it was to ignore the nature of my instincts, I managed this time to stay in the nearby area. I hunted small animals, like armadillos, turtles and rabbits and caught a bunch of fish. I was terrified of being seen and it took hours for me to find enough food to satisfy my hunger, but eventually I succeeded and as the sun started to rise I turned towards home.

  Sitting in the yard as I waited to transform back I suddenly realized that I wasn't alone. Aiyana in her spotted fur sneaked up behind me and sat next to me. She had been out too, I was pleased to see. That meant she was feeling better. She turned her head and rubbed her face into mine. I closed my eyes and enjoyed it.