by Lee Quail
He begged me the entire trip but I wouldn’t give in. We stopped at the Waterkloof Security Checkpoint and I think he realised what was about to happen as we drove towards the helicopters.
“You’re kidding me,” he said, smiling from ear to ear.
“I got special permission today from the Brig. I’m taking you on a night flight.”
“This is awesome!”
The Oryx stood proud, elegant and shining in the moonlight like the animal after which it was named. A twenty-ton mechanical beast lit up by a huge, towering floodlight.
While Shane stood to one side I did a pre-flight check and once inside I put his helmet on for him and then did mine.
I felt his excitement. Felt his pangs of fear. I checked all the instruments and finally said, “Let’s get this show on the road.”
The engine whistled while the rotor’s blades slowly turned. The chopper danced as the updraft came in from the rotor. I pressed another button and the Oryx tilted to face the ground and we were airborne.
He didn’t say much as we flew over Centurion and Pretoria and her main highways, but I could tell he was in awe of the ride. From the air, colours merge and blend and vistas morph into each other, everything is surreal. When we landed, some fifteen minutes later, he sighed with relief and I laughed.
When his laughter died I knew this was the time.
“That was awesome, thank you,” he said, unbuckling his safety belt.
“I’m glad you enjoyed it, detective.” I removed my helmet and then his and placed my hand on his thigh, leaned over and kissed him gently. A kiss that became a breathless expression of how I felt about him. This time our passion was centred on our inner beings. Our souls. The stuff that defines us.
With closed eyes, our mouths and hands sought touch, acknowledging every part of our bodies. In the surrounding darkness, the stars gave us light, and the light shone down on us as if in approval. Our bodies moved slowly pressed tightly against each other in a slow, dancing frottage as we undressed each other. Our lips, hands and skin sought moments of blissful desire and soon Shane had my cock in his mouth, eating from tip to base, and back up to my hungry lips. Our lips opened delicately to each other. Tongues clicked. A nuclear voltage passed between us. The fullness of passion and the emptiness of need seemed like two sides of the same coin. We silently danced to the tune of our desire for each other and make no mistake, our desire for each other was palpable, strong and determined. We were both so hungry, like two forces merging together to create a new one.
We lay on top of each other for what seemed like eternity, rubbing into each other’s skin. The sensation left us breathless as our sexual passion fought to merge. I lifted myself over Shane’s head and allowed his tongue access to the most discreet part of me. I had prepared for this. I wanted and needed it. He stretched my butt apart and sent his tongue in like a World War Two German tank turret. I was so ready. I craved. I offered.
I belonged to Shane and only Shane.
His thrusts were gentle and kind, and with each thrust I knew this was right. Love is all about give and take. The other night Shane had allowed me to take. It was my turn to give.
I readied myself with my fingers, lay on my back and rested my legs on his shoulders and he eased himself in. “Come inside me,” I whispered, and the dynamite exploded. No more hiding. For the first time in my life I allowed a man to take and fill me. Releasing my animal instinct and the dissolution of my boundaries at the same time allowed me the freedom I needed to move on.
Shane
That helicopter ride was by the far the best thing that had ever happened to me. Thinking about that night, now, a year down the road, still gives me goose bumps and a hard-on. My heart leaped when he said he loved me and it was like everything that had happened in my life, every road I had taken, every friend I had met, including Joe, every gift I had received, every moment spent with Raw and Edward, all of this had led me towards this incredible moment with this incredible man. I didn’t want to spend another day without him.
We made love afterwards. True love. No lust or groping for each other’s cock. Our naked torso’s pressed so tight I could feel his blood racing through his veins and into mine. His breathing became mine, His lips, kissing every inch of my body, burned through my skin. Never have I known such joy. No need for blowjobs. No need for lust. Our bodies danced, our cocks throbbed against each other and coming together heightened the pleasure and love I felt for him.
I didn’t want the night to end. I didn’t want the stars to fade on our love. Making love to Greg was all I wanted to do that night, the whole night. But, as all good things must pass, the hours passed too. We dressed and returned to his house and for the first time I used my key to open the door.
It felt like home.
This was home.
I had arrived.
Every day with Gregory was an exercise in love and friendship I had never before had the pleasure of knowing.
***
The following morning my first appointment was with Superintendent Moswai. I called him Sup for short. I had been relegated to the mundane privilege of pen pushing during the last few months after my stabbing incident, and honestly, I was more than bored with it.
He stood at the window clenching his fist. A huge, man with a face like a balloon and stomach that stood out a mile. His face taught with anxiety.
He didn’t say a word when I came into his office.
“Good to see you too, Sup,” I said in my warmest sarcastic voice.
“Sit down, detective.”
I could only wonder why he was in such a bad mood.
After a moment he said, “Let me tell you right from the get go, and I mean this. You are not, I repeat, NOT, in any way, to interfere in our investigation into your attack. Is that clear?”
He had an internal instinct unbeaten by any other I knew. My intention, of course, was to find Joe and bring him in.
“I had no intention of interfering, Sup,” I lied.
“Good. And If I hear even a whisper to that effect, I’ll have your badge.”
“Understood, Sup.”
“Your latest medical has been handed in. We’re putting you back in the field. No more desk work for you. Before you start, I want you to take a week off. You’re going to need all the rest you can get with Christmas coming up, detective.”
“That’s awesome! Now I understand why you laid down the law about Joe. Thank you, Sup. I appreciate that. May I ask if there is any progress on my case?”
“None whatsoever. It’s as if this Joe has fallen off the face of the earth.”
“Who is working the case?”
“Van Dyk. And he hasn’t come up with anything.”
Van Dyk was a damned cop but Joe had given him the slip. He had given all of us the slip.
“What’s the next step?”
“Listen to me carefully, Shane. What you do in your time off is none of my business.”
My brain clicked over. Of course, my time was my business alone.
“Go home, detective. Get some rest.”
***
Gregory had that dismal look on his face like a dying flower. Not happy that Joe had not been apprehended. He urged me to rethink, suggesting that we were busy with an unstable, cranky, violent, disturbed man. Yes, he said cranky. Cranky and dangerous. Unrelenting and insecure.
I didn’t waste time in moving in with Gregory. I left the house in the good hands of Shane and Raw. Beryl would still live in her flatlet,* she was comfortable with the arrangement.
We made a wall template. He helped me find phone numbers of every friend with whom Joe had bonded. I had to begin somewhere. He couldn’t run and hide forever. Even spiders must crawl out of their webs.
“He left his laptop,” A MacAir. Silver. Expensive.
“Brown Coney,” Gregory smiled wide.
We contacted Captain Brown Coney, an air force IT specialist, to break into Joe’s laptop and he happily obliged.
A week later, Coney returned with the laptop. He had succeeded in breaking his password and we hastily checked his social media accounts. What surprised us was Joe never used his Facebook account. He had no friends, no favourite places, and no favourite music. It was dead blank.
“He’s somewhere. He’s dangerous and he’s somewhere.” Gregory said, popping bubble wrap.
“We’ve been through his most endearing contacts. I’m trying to think of someone he’d trust enough to help him. Never went to gym. He didn’t need to.”
“He said he has several husbands. Has Beryl shown that image where he’s kissing some guy to the cops?”
“I’m not sure,” I answered.
Beryl told us later she had not shown the image to the cops. I immediately sent Sup the image and asked him to help identify him.
He sent the details two hours later.
The man’s name was George Blakely. Married. Two children. Currently filing for divorce. Lived in Bloemfontein. He had two numbers, one personal and one for business. He was an interior designer.
At last, we had something to go on. He didn’t answer his personal phone, but I was able to get him on his business number. His voice was slightly nasal and breathy. After introducing myself he asked, “How can I help you, detective?”
“I’m trying to locate a missing person, his name is Joseph Adam Douglass and we believe you may have some information that could lead us to him.”
“Is he in some kind of trouble?”
“Actually, yes. He’s wanted for attempted murder.”
“Attempted murder? Are you sure you have the right Joseph?”
“Absolutely sure. I have a photograph of you and him together.”
“Jesus, nothing’s sacred in this world anymore. Listen, if what you are saying is true, I know where he is, but I can’t talk right now. May I contact you on this number?”
“Yes, anytime. Before you hang up, George, let me know by a series of yes or no answers to the questions I have. Just plain old yes or no.”
“Sure.”
“Is he there with you right now?”
“Yes.”
“Is he in hearing distance of this call?”
“Yes.”
“Will he be there for while?”
“No.”
“So he’s going out?”
“Yes.”
“I want you to listen very carefully. The man is dangerous and you need to get away from him. If he has any suspicion that you’re talking to us, he’ll get dangerous. Make up some excuse to leave wherever you are and get out. Can you do that for me?”
“Yes.”
“I suppose he’ll be back home tonight?”
“Yes.”
“You are not to go home until we contact you to tell you it’s safe. Okay? Yes or no.”
“Yes.”
“We’ll be sending officials there to apprehend him. Do not in any way tell him.”
“Yes. I mean no. I won’t say anything.”
“Don’t be scared. Just tell him you need to do something in town or go and see a client. Whatever you do you need to get out.”
“Yes. I understand.”
“Good. You’ll be hearing from us soon.”
I ended the call.
“Got him!”
Gregory showed a thumbs up and I called Sup immediately. Sup would get hold of the Bloemfontein Murder and Robbery Squad and let them make the arrest.
We waited several hours before Sup contacted me. “He got away. Somehow, he must have known something was going down and he fled. Bloemfontein is working on the case. They’ve brought this George in for questioning. I’ll let you know what happens.”
*Flatlet = meaning small apartment
Gregory
Sergeant Ellen Mojani, General Miyani’s personal assistant called me the moment I got in the following morning. I must have looked a mess; Shane and I only got to bed at two in the morning. Miyani wanted to see me with regards to an urgent matter. Once again, I found myself seated opposite him, staring down my nose at his face. He was a short man.
“The award ceremony at the United Nations in New York has been brought forward. Initially they give out the awards every January, this year they’ve decided to give them out at the beginning of December. The 3rd December to be exact.
Two weeks away.
“You’ll be flying to New York first class, while we, your minions, will tag along in an air force cargo plane. I need to know who you’ll be taking with you.”
Of course, the first person I mentioned was Shane. “And my son, Edward and his husband.”
“Husband?”
“Yes, General. His husband. Do you have a problem with that?”
“Personally, yes. Professionally, no. The air force does not discriminate.”
“But personally you do?”
“It’s not discrimination, Colonel. It’s a personal opinion. I believe marriage is an institution sanctioned by God between a man and a woman, not two men.”
“That is your belief, General. The world has changed. Love is love whether it is man on man or man on woman.”
“You believe what you want, Colonel. If my son were to be gay, I would probably send him for reversion therapy. If that didn’t work, I’d probably disown him.”
I could have squeezed the life out of Miyani with my bare hands right there and then. Breaking into a sweat in his cool, air-conditioned office, I glared at him.
“He’s not your son, General. Thank God for that.”
“Yes, I agree, you should thank God for that, Colonel. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a lot of work to do organising this trip.”
I stood and came to attention, even though my heart said this man didn’t deserve respect, my brain said to hell with that, you don’t have to respect the man. You must respect his rank.
Shane
“I saw pure hatred in his eyes, Shane,” Gregory said at supper. “And I just couldn’t compete with that.”
I had learned, whilst on this life journey, that it takes all kinds to make the world go round. People discriminate. Haters will hate. Religions will try and tear down any kind of rebellion. Politicians will seek out only those who support their ideology. General Miyani was part of a culture that viewed the world through blinkers. Uneducated and illogical. His fault entirely. Gay society wasn’t the problem. Miyani was the problem.
“I’m sorry, Shane, I wanted to tell him. I really did. I promised you I would.”
I gazed at Gregory thinking how I would have done the same thing. “You did nothing wrong, Greg. This Miyani sounds like a dick head.”
“He certainly showed that today. Are you angry?”
“I can never be angry with you. Miyani is so ignorant. Anyway I’ve been thinking. Why tell him at all? Why tell anyone at all?”
Gregory frowned. “I don’t understand. At the cottage you went on about how important it is to come out. Why this sudden turnabout?”
I reached for his hand across the table. “Because, my love, you don’t owe your peers anything. They can find out by opening their eyes and if they don’t like what they see, that’s their problem, not yours. It’s none of their business that we’re gay. The only business they should be having with you right now is planning for that award. Nothing more. Two weeks is cutting it fine.”
Gregory kissed my hand. “Thank you. Thank you.”
“I’ve done nothing to deserve your gratitude, Greg. I understand the fear you have lived with all these years. Live your life. Don’t worry about them. Don’t worry about anyone else, well, except me.”
Honestly, I thought I had shown Gregory that he is bigger than the sum of his private universe. It really was the other way around. If he hadn’t come into my life, I would still be of the belief that one needed a label. I’m gay. You’re straight. She’s pansexual. He’s metrosexual. None of us needs permission to be who we really are. Does a fish seek permission to be in water? Does a bee require permission to produce honey? Soc
iety casts a set of rules to protect itself against marauders and avatars that are seen to oppose the family unit, at the same time sidelining minority groups. Power.
My cell phone rang and I answered immediately without checking the caller. My blood drained from my face when I heard Joe’s voice.
“I should have killed you when I had the opportunity. As long as I’m around you’ll always be watching over your shoulder.”
I dropped the phone onto the table as though it had turned into a venomous snake. I couldn’t speak. Tongue heavy in my mouth. My skin crawled at the sound of him.
“What the fuck, Shane!” Gregory leaped up and, rushing to my side, grabbed me in a tight embrace. “What, Shane? Who was that? Joe?”
I nodded.
“What did he say? What did he say, babe?”
I couldn’t speak. I felt nauseous. I buried my face in his chest while my body trembled.
You might be thinking, what the fuck? Here’s this macho detective; one who has brought down many a gangster; one who has seen violence beyond anything you can imagine, now trembling from fear. What I have done in my life and the criminals I had apprehended can never compare to what Joe had done.
Gregory gave me a sleeping tablet and as I dozed off, I heard him speaking to someone on his cell phone and then fell into a deep sleep.
Gregory
I stopped eating when Shane received that call and I watched as his face turned pale. He dropped the phone and I knew right then that it was Joe and he had said something to make Shane tremble all over.
I had no idea what was happening in Shane’s mind. I could only imagine the sense of fear and foreboding that he carried. I hated seeing him like this because he didn’t deserve it and it moved me because I couldn’t do anything about it. I felt helpless.
I held him for at least an hour until he calmed down.
“What did he say?” I asked again.
“He said he should have killed me a long time ago, that as long as he’s out there I should always check behind me.”