by Lee Quail
“I’m sorry, I can’t. I just can’t.”
Raw turned to Shane’s father holding onto his wife tightly. “Sir, would you like to say something?” Gordon Devin wore denim trousers, vellies* and a black, button up shirt. A strong man, with a healthy mop of silver-grey hair and strong, huge hands. He and his wife, Eleanor, stepped forward clutching each other. Eleanor resembled a little waif that only wanted to be seen and not heard. Her hair, caught in a bun, had streaks of blond in the mass of grey, and her blue eyes, saddened by the loss of her son, wept the tears only a mother can weep.
Gordon wiped her eyes with a tissue. “It’s okay, my love. It’s okay.” He turned to the grave and rested a hand on the tombstone. “Son, it’s not right that a child is taken before his parents. It’s not right. During this year your mother and me have asked so many questions. The answers don’t come, son. You were such a loving child, you cared for everything and everyone. We miss you and we love you. We’ll see you sooner than you think. Together we’ll hold hands again. It’s my wish that you guide these people gathered here. These wonderful people who lived you dearly.”
Edward turned to Gregory, dressed in a black suit and open white shirt. He stared blankly at the Shane’s grave, devouring the words inscribed on the tombstone.
“Dad.”
Gregory was far away. He didn’t hear Edward call his name. Edward touched his elbow. “Dad.”
Gregory shook his head as though just waking up.
“Dad, you want to say something?”
Gregory nodded and stepped forward.
He recited a poem from memory written for this moment. Edward held his hand tightly while he spoke in a soft, but worn voice.
“I love you, Shane.
And life hasn’t been the same.
Since you went away
I weep tears of love all day.
Only good men go to heaven;
It’s true.
At such an early age
You came to teach me a lesson
And
To write on my life’s page.
Shane… (His voice cracked and he paused.)
Shane, love of my life,
I miss you with all that is in me,
And I wish you were alive
On that we all agree.
You were my blessing,
My morning, noon and night.
You were my king
My darkness and my light.
Thing is
You still are.
I love you.
He knelt beside the grave and shed his heart. He spoke slowly because with every sentence his throat seemed to constrict with emotion. He looked up at the sky and spoke out loud.
“You’re listening, I know you are. I wish … I wish death wasn’t so final. I wish you could reach out to me and tell me how much you love me. I miss that. I scream at nights for that. I scream out of anger because I couldn’t save you. Everyone you knew has been touched by your compassion and vulnerability. Me, the most. You allowed me in and it was such an honour, because people like you are so rare. I promise I will never forget you. In the short time I knew you, you were everything to me. I know…” His voice cracked again and he paused. “I know now that you came into my life to teach me a lesson, and when that was done, you had to leave. It’s as if God sent you just for me. You were his angel on a mission to try save Joe and me. And so I tell you now, Shane, as God is my witness, thank you.” He paused again, took in a deep breath then continued. “Thank you. Thank you for honouring me with your love. I’ll see you again next year, and the year after, and the next. And when we meet again, in another place and time, you’ll still be my detective. The one I truly love.”
Edward’s sobbing was unstoppable as Raw held him close.
Gregory stood and wrapped a comforting arm around Edward and Eleanor while Raw stepped forward and placed a single wild flower on the tombstone with the words:
Do you think the moon cares?
I think the moon cares,
There’s no one here.
Just you and me and the moon.
I think I prefer it that way.
End
*Vellies = Meaning veld shoes
If you enjoyed RAW please consider reading Gideon, my dystopian science fiction thriller. Also read RAW (Round 1 in the RAW Instinct Series) All available on Amazon.
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RAW Deception Playlist
Haevn: The Other Side of the Sea.
Imagine Dragons: Thunder.
Adelle: Fire to the Rain,
Beyoncé: Halo.
Chester See: A life of Regrets
Luke Evans: Life is a Battlefield
Chester See: Who am I to Stand in Your Way?
Shane Ward: Stand by Me
Joey Niceforo: Solitaire
Joey Niceforo: Live Like Horses
Ricky Polidoro: Flying on my Own
Coldplay: Everglow
Dedication
For all our heroes, past, present and future.
And
For my amazing husband, Corneles, who has shown me the most extraordinary love these last five years.
To paraphrase Gregory’s last words to Shane:
You are my blessing,
My morning, noon and night.
You are my king,
My darkness and my light.
Thing is
You will always be.
I love you.