Radio Silence

by Alyssa Cole

  “So you didn’t find anything on them?” I thought he’d have said something to his siblings, but the long look he’d given me in the kitchen had been disquieting. “Did you see my baseball bat, maybe?”

  “Nope, there was no bat. That’s the thing,” he said, and then ran a hand through his hair in agitation. “Their pockets were empty. They’d been turned out. I didn’t touch their stuff, and I didn’t see you do it either.”

  I looked at him blankly, my mind teetering on understanding but not quite able to surmount the fear of acknowledging what his words meant.

  “There was a set of footprints there that didn’t belong to either of us,” he continued, and the words sent an icy shiver of fear down my spine. I jumped to my feet, heartbeat thudding in my ears as all the terrible possibilities spiraled out in front of me. If people had found the bodies, they could find us. I remembered how quiet it had been outside the house earlier that morning. Anyone could have been hiding in that silence, watching and waiting to attack. I suddenly understood the tactics of the armadillo; I wished I could curl into the safety of myself until any threat passed. But nowhere was safe, and I had more than myself to worry about.

  Gabriel went on, stepping closer to me as he spoke. “After I buried the bodies, I followed the new set of prints for a while, and they tapered off into some thick underbrush. They didn’t seem to come toward the house.” I picked up his unspoken worry. But they could have already walked in our footsteps so as not to create a new trail. He sighed deeply. “I tried to erase the trail that leads back here, though, using some tree branches. That’s what took me so long. Anyway, whoever made those footprints took everything those men had. If there was any evidence of contact with my parents, it’s long gone.”

  He took another step, one that left him close enough that I could feel his presence as much as I could see it. He eclipsed the lightbulb, the lean musculature of his body silhouetted from behind. I should have felt caged in by him, given my panic, but I felt sheltered instead. The tightness in my chest eased just the slightest bit as I leaned closer to his warmth, seeking comfort. He leaned in, too, and I realized he needed the same from me.

  “Thanks for doing so much to protect us. I’m sorry you didn’t find anything, Gabriel.” I wasn’t good at this being gentle and reassuring shit. I wished there was something I could do to take away the pain of his parents’ disappearance, or to repay him for all that he’d done.

  “I’m not sorry,” he said. “That means there’s still hope. I’m more worried about whoever was prowling around the bodies. I don’t think they’ll come this way, especially since they know we have a gun and we’ve killed, but it’s still a problem.”

  “Jesus,” I whispered, clenching my hands convulsively as the bubble of safety around our cabin started to burst. “What are we going to do if someone shows up here?” I wondered if we would have to leave, dreading another trek into the brutal winter landscape. Pinpricks of panic beat a tattoo over my scalp and neck as I realized we had nowhere to go.

  “I’ll handle them. We’ll handle them,” Gabriel said in that deep, reassuring tone. I shouldn’t have been comforted by mere words, but there was something about his confidence that made it hard to resist. A small smile that I knew was for my benefit played on his lips. “I don’t think the risk is much higher than it’s been since this whole shitstorm started. There was always a chance of someone trying to get in. We’ll just need to be extra vigilant.”

  His fingers clasped my elbow in reassurance, and I felt just a bit of my sense of stability and safety return. He seemed reticent, as if he wanted to say something else.

  “What?” I prodded, placing my hand lightly on his chest out of some innate need to comfort him through touch, as he had me.

  His body was rigid with tension beneath his shirt; I looked down to see that his free hand was unconsciously balled into a fist. A sudden burst of tenderness for him bloomed within me at the sight of it. How had he managed to seem so cool during dinner with the weight of his own small world on his shoulders? How was he assuaging my fears while surely battling so many of his own?

  “Do you think I should let John and Maggie know why I went out there?” he asked. “You were right. Chances are those guys had nothing to do with my parents. But I feel horrible keeping it from them. I’d want to know.”

  I thought of Maggie’s complaint about Gabriel not telling her anything. “I don’t know. You have to make that decision, but think about how you’d feel if you were in their shoes. You didn’t find anything, so I don’t know if it’s worth worrying them, but whatever you decide, you should be honest with them from this point forward. You absolutely need to tell them that we have to be more wary.”

  “That’s what I thought,” he said. “I just hope I’m making the right decisions. It really was dumb of me to go out there on my own. They were right to be pissed at me.”

  “I was pissed, too,” I said. The newborn tenderness throbbed painfully in my chest at the admission. I splayed my hand on his chest, feeling the play of muscles beneath my palm. “I told you not to go alone. I would’ve gone with you. There was someone else out there! They could have had weapons—they could have hurt you—and no one would have been there to help because you were too stubborn to confide in anyone. You can’t do something like that again, Gabriel.”

  I only stopped my tirade because I needed to take in air. Anger, desire, fear and confusion were wreaking havoc on my emotions. I didn’t know whether I wanted to hug him for trying to protect us all or hit him for putting himself into so much danger—danger that had seemed abstract until the enormity of what could have happened to him played out in my mind.

  “Why would you have gone with me?” he asked quietly, his fingers slipping from their light grip on my elbow to encircle my forearm. I thought it was a trick of the dim lighting, but his hooded eyes seemed warmer as they gazed into mine, like spun honey. I wondered if he tasted of honey as well, and a spark of anticipation flared low in my belly.

  “Because you should have had someone to watch your back out there,” I said. My words came out low and husky, as if they’d been filtered through the confusing ache for Gabriel that was filling that hollow in my chest. “John is still recovering, and Maggie would need at least one of her brothers to stay with her.”

  “Even though I was a total jerk to you, you were still going to volunteer to be the person who got my back?”

  He was smiling now, and it was different from the affectionate grin I’d seen him give his siblings. This one was mischievous, sensual. Not the cat who got the cream, but one who just noticed that the milkman had left the door to his truck open. Something hot and heady welled up in me, something that needed more than a smile or a stray caress. He took a step forward, and I stood my ground. The mere millimeters of space left between us seemed to be filled with charged particles that released little bursts of pleasure as they ricocheted off me.

  “Well, when you put it that way, I sound pretty dumb,” I admitted. “What can I say? You give one hell of a massage.”

  He laughed. My hand was still against his chest, and the sensation of his mirth vibrated up my arm, quickening my breath. My body was receptive to his every motion, and for a brief moment I knew what the fly felt as the spider slowly approached from across the web. The moment was both drawn out and moving far too fast.

  “Seriously, though, you saved my life,” I said, hoping he couldn’t hear the hitch in my breathing that his proximity caused. “Isn’t there some Korean adage that says if someone saves your life, it belongs to them? I owe you.”

  “That’s a Chinese proverb, not Korean, smart-ass,” he said, his fingertips feathering over the bare skin of my forearm. “And I think the actual phrase is ‘If you save someone’s life, you’re responsible for it.’ But your version means less work for me, among other things, so I’m willing to roll with it. You are saying that you belong to me now, right?”

  It was hard to focus on his words with the pleasa
nt friction he was creating providing such a distraction, but even without paying attention I sensed that something had shifted between us. The air around us seemed to throb with energy synced to my rising pulse. Gabriel reached out with his free hand and traced a finger down my temple and the curve of my neck, leaving a tingle in its wake.

  “That’s not exactly what I meant,” I said, my breath catching as he pulled me flush against him. Lean and hard, Gabriel pressed all up the front of me—I don’t know what I’d expected when I’d come down to the cellar, but it hadn’t been this. Not in my wildest imagination could I have imagined this flirty, brazenly sexual side of Gabriel’s personality, or that it would be directed at me. I couldn’t possibly have conjured how feeling each delineated ab muscle flex against my stomach as he spoke would start a sharp, sweet ache at my core. I’d never been happier to have such a limited imagination.

  “That’s too bad,” he said. “Because although I’ve been trying to resist it, the idea of my own personal Arden is pretty appealing right now.”

  “Well, I guess I’m willing to roll with it, too,” I said. Unable to fight the momentum of our encounter, and not even wanting to, I tipped up toward him on my toes just as he angled his head and swooped down, his lips crashing into mine. “Ouch. You need to work on your technique, Dr. Seong,” I said, but I was smiling.

  “Sorry,” he muttered and pressed his lips to mine, soft as a whisper, as if trying to balance out our first attempt. His lips were firm and smooth, and when they moved over mine I let out a whimper that would have been embarrassing if there had been room for any sensation other than desire.

  Gabriel smiled against my mouth. He pulled me into his arms and deepened the kiss, his tongue gently flicking across my lips until I granted him entrance. He tasted of the stew we’d eaten for dinner, warm and savory and spicy. I had guessed he would be skilled with his tongue, and he proved my guess right. He guided the kiss from tender and exploratory to deep and all-consuming with a finesse I’d never experienced before, and I had kissed a lot of toads. I followed his lead without hesitation. Kissing had always seemed like a warm-up with other guys, but with Gabriel it felt like a main event. A thrill welled up in me at each stroke of his tongue, and when he nipped at my bottom lip, it sent a bolt of electric pleasure straight to my core.

  My hand was still pressed against his chest and I clutched at him, gathering his shirt in my fist so I could pull him down and bring his seeking mouth closer to mine. My other hand slid into his thick hair. I dragged my fingertips down the smooth skin of his neck, and he groaned into my mouth. I lost track of everything but our kiss, of his hands moving over my body.

  His kiss was spurred by a hunger that matched my own, an outpouring of desire fueled not only by lust, but by a mutual helplessness. I didn’t know what had caused the world as I knew it to shut down, but I knew that pressed against me was a man whose voice made me tremble, even when I wanted to punch him. I knew that the strong arms gathering me close belonged to someone who wanted to protect me, and those he loved.

  My neck started to ache from holding my awkward stance for so long. I threw both arms about his neck in an effort to bring him down to my level, but he pulled away from me.

  “Shit, did I hurt your back?” he asked, his voice husky with desire and concern as he ran his hands soothingly over my back and shoulders.

  “Do I get another massage if I say yes?” I asked, reaching up to pull at him again. He was too far away now, and my senses craved the heat and the taste of him, the feel of his body against mine.

  He gripped my hips through my sweatshirt and lifted me. I wrapped my legs around his waist without hesitation, and his hands slid down to cup my ass. I could feel the delicious pressure of him pulsing against me, the thin material of my leggings sliding over his jeans. He rocked against me, just a little, and an eddy of pleasure swirled through me, thrilling me from head to toe.

  “That’s better,” he whispered harshly as he kissed his way down my jaw to the sensitive spot under my ear. I tried to swallow the soft moans he was pulling out of me, but he heard them anyway. I felt his twitch of excitement at the juncture where I was pressed against him. I moved my hips forward, adding more pressure, gasping as his erection slid against my sensitive nub once and then again, fueling a delicious heat that spread from my belly to my breasts.

  “You have no idea how hard it was for me to apply that balm yesterday. You kept making the sexiest noises.” He tugged my head back by the braids, locking it in place. The motion was gentle, but I could feel the constrained eagerness in the movement, and something dark and hot inside me responded. The desire for him to touch me pulsed at my core in a mad rhythm.

  He pressed butterfly kisses along my jaw before moving his mouth down to my neck. His teeth grazed my skin, and I bucked against him, arching my back to better expose myself to his soft lips and to press myself more firmly against the hard length of him. He nipped and sucked at the hollow of my neck, his tongue twirling over my collarbone. Pleasure effervesced through me, spreading from my extremities and moving inward, meeting with a clenching ache in my channel. His teasing was driving me crazy and he didn’t seem as if he was going to stop anytime soon; Gabriel was a thorough man.

  “I tried to be quiet.” I rolled my head away from his hand to free my hair from his grip and leaned in close to his ear. “But you felt so damn good that I couldn’t help myself. Much like right now.”

  I licked at the strong line of his neck, savoring the slightly salty flavor of his skin and wondering what the rest of him tasted like. My mouth latched on to the juncture of his neck and shoulder and lingered there when I felt his enthusiastic response growing against me. His fingers flexed against my ass, and I knew he was restraining himself. There was something hot and urgent building inside me, though, and I needed him to release it.

  I sucked harder.

  “Kiss me again,” he ordered in a ragged voice and I did, reveling in the slide of his lips against mine, the warmth of his mouth as we learned each other’s rhythms. I could feel his heart beating rapidly when I pressed my hard nipples against his chest and kissed him deeper, wanting to explore every facet of him.

  “Gabriel!” Maggie’s voice sounded from the doorway to the cellar.

  I nearly jumped off him in my surprise, but he held on, giving me a lingering kiss as he lowered me to the floor. My body slid against his during my descent, the contact making me want to clamber back up.

  “What’s up, Mag?” he answered in a calm tone, as if he hadn’t just almost gotten me off with kisses alone. His eyes were on me but his expression was unreadable.

  “Let me know what the supplies are looking like so I can plan tomorrow’s dinner. I can plan dinner for us, right?”

  While I was happy that Maggie was testing her new boundaries with her brother, she had very inopportune timing. My body thrummed with desire. I wanted more. I needed to taste him again. But then the logic synapses in my brain, which had temporarily been deadened by Gabriel’s drugging kisses, started sparking again.

  What was I doing? I couldn’t get hot and heavy with John’s temperamental older brother. Kissing him had felt so right, but starting a thing with someone I may be stuck with indefinitely during a possible apocalypse was probably not the best idea.

  “Of course you can,” he called up to her, and ran a hand through his wavy hair to push the disheveled strands back into place. The sound of her walking away seemed exceptionally loud, even though I hadn’t heard anything of her approach. “I should finish this up,” he said to me. “One of the cons of appointing yourself Fearless Leader is you have to make good on your promises.”

  “Only if you’re good at what you do,” I said, my breathy voice making me feel like a fool. I was still a little light-headed from our activities and decided my energies would best be channeled doing something to help the household. Focusing on mundane tasks seemed like a good way stop thinking about Gabriel’s hands tugging me against him. “I’m going to g
o see what I can do to help upstairs.”

  He picked up his pen and notebook and turned back to his inventory. I’d expected at least a “see you later.” None seemed forthcoming, so I made my way to the stairs.

  He waited until I reached the bottom step to call out my name. I planned to keep walking—instead I stopped and turned as if compelled. His back was to me, but he spoke in that sure, authoritative voice that sent a tremor straight through me.

  “It’s really not a good idea for us to get involved, and we probably shouldn’t let something like this happen again,” he said baldly. Although I’d just thought the same thing, his words still stung.

  He turned his head to me then, and even in the dim light I could see that desire burned in his eyes. Desire for me. My skin tingled under his gaze. It was as if he’d left behind some trace of himself with his fingers, lips and tongue and now he could caress me with just a look.

  “Good ideas be damned. Next time, if you want there to be a next time, I’m not stopping until I make you scream.”

  Something deep within me tightened at the thought of him driving into me.

  “I’m holding you to that, Dr. Seong,” I said, starting up the steps before I did something stupid like rip his clothes off. “But keep in mind that I might make you scream first.”

  His voice drifted up the stairs after me. “That wouldn’t surprise me at all.”

  Chapter Nine

  The next few days passed at a maddeningly slow pace. We received no news from the outside world, there was no update on the elder Seongs’ whereabouts and there was very little work to do in a house with four restless people running from their own thoughts.