Wings of Creation

by Brenda Cooper

  27

  CHELO: THE KEEPERS

  Early morning light brightened our window frame for the second time since Alicia and Bryan had disappeared. I wrapped my blanket closer around Caro’s slender shoulders and looked across at Liam, who had Jherrel tucked in with him. They refused to sleep on their own. As hard as we pretended it wasn’t so, the kids knew something was wrong. Trapped in this room, Liam and I couldn’t talk about it.

  Across from me, Liam stirred gently, wiping the hair off Jherrel’s face and looking over at us.

  It would be time for the ceremony soon. I should look forward to it. I’d felt disconnected yesterday, had floated through the greeting of the day as if I were a wraith. Caro lifted her face, her eyes still closed, snuggling tighter against my chest. I had to keep a good face for her.

  “It’s time,” Caro whispered.

  As if she’d heard Caro, Kala’s drum sounded three times outside the door, too loud.

  “Be right there,” I called. I kissed Caro on the top of her head, and wished for more quiet snuggle time with the kids. “Did you hear?” I asked Liam.

  He grunted, but I could already hear him moving.

  In a few moments we had both children up and both adults at least sitting up in bed. The kids headed for the bathroom together. Liam watched them go, then stared at the door.

  Kala would stand outside patiently until we opened it.

  I slid over next to Liam, taking his hand. I tried to pitch my voice below the kids’ excellent hearing. “Surely we’ll hear from someone today. Seeyan, at least.”

  “I hope so.”

  He looked so lost I kissed him thoroughly, something I didn’t do nearly often enough anymore. It took a moment before he responded, and then he might have been starved. We broke up as the kids came out of the bathroom, and separated out to help each of them dress, him with Caro and me with Jherrel.

  As I was tugging pants onto Jherrel, he asked, “Will we see Mommy Kayleen today?”

  He smelled like sleep and a little like Liam. I helped him stand up. “I don’t know.”

  He glanced at Caro. “What about Aunt Alicia?”

  Caro stood behind Liam as he sat on the bed. She looked up from dragging a brush through his hair. “I can’t find her.”

  She was looking? In the nets? Why hadn’t I worried about that before? Liam squeezed my hand and knelt down by her, giving her his most serious look. “Caro, maybe you shouldn’t look for her. Trust Alicia to find us when she needs to. Her and Bryan.”

  “I like looking.”

  I filed that away to talk to Mohami about. I wanted to talk to Joseph so bad I swallowed past a lump in my throat, and the effort to make myself smile almost cracked my cheeks.

  As I pulled a blue shirt down over Jherrel’s head, I noticed how being in real sunshine had lightened his hair and tinged it with soft red streaks. I’d stacked my own pants and shirt at the bottom of the bed; simple black leggings and a bright blue and sunshine-yellow shirt that screamed tourist. Kala had brought it yesterday, saying it was a hopeful shirt.

  “Okay,” I called to Kala. “We’re ready.”

  When the door opened, it admitted Mohami. “Shouldn’t you be getting ready?” I asked, blunter than usual. “I mean, the ceremony . . .”

  The old Keeper had wrapped himself in his serenity even tighter than usual. He ignored my question, and smiled warmly. “Good morning, all of you. Please follow me.”

  The light in the windows suggested it must be close to time for the first flight. I didn’t want to miss it. I needed the calm. I wanted the morning ceremony in every day of my life, forever.

  Caro led us after him, her steps measured and swift.

  He didn’t take us out to the garden, but instead, he entered the room he’d first met us in, and stood to the side. I walked in right behind Caro, and saw her intake of breath before I drew in my own, nearly overwhelmed with the fullness of wings that met us. Tsawo and Angeline nearly filled the small space, even with their wings swept back. Nothing in here had been made for fliers, so they stood slightly bent forward to keep their wings off the ground. Tsawo’s pale face seemed dark next to Angeline’s wings, and his wings shone ebony, the light in here accentuating the black tones, barely drawing out the deep purple. His dark eyes caught mine, and for a moment he looked sorry for me.

  “What happened?” I asked.

  “Word surfaced yesterday that Jenna and her sister, Ming, Dianne, and Paloma are being offered in trade for you and Joseph.”

  I froze. It took a moment for my brain to figure it out. Five for two. Paloma, who was the weakest of any of us. At least they hadn’t caught Alicia. My brother might be stupid enough to trade himself for her. Liam came close to me and curled his free arm around me, the other holding Jherrel.

  “Who?” Liam said.

  “The Port Authority.”

  “Not the Wingmakers?” I pressed.

  “Assume they are the same. The powers on your home world are greedy.”

  I’d never been there. But Marcus, Jenna, Tiala, and Induan had come from there. “I don’t think everyone on Silver’s Home is bad.”

  “Nor is everyone here enlightened,” Mohami said quietly.

  No kidding. “Did they mention Caro or Jherrel?”

  Tsawo shook his head. “But there’s more. This morning, I heard that Bryan had been seen at the festival.”

  He didn’t look surprised. So he knew they were gone. “And Alicia?”

  He grimaced. “I’ve heard nothing. But she’s probably invisible anyway.”

  Liam spoke up from behind me. “When did you hear about Bryan?”

  “On our way over.”

  “How’s Joseph?” I asked. “And Kayleen? Does she know about Paloma?”

  Tsawo shrugged. “They told me about Alicia and Bryan.”

  So they were okay, wherever they were. Kayleen must be worried sick about Paloma. Small chance anything about this place except maybe the Keepers would value the old woman for herself. So all she had going was that she might be traded for one of us.

  I was worth a world, had started a war, and now two women who had almost been mothers to me had been kidnapped to make me give myself up. Although I suspected whoever had done this would underestimate them both. Neither Jenna nor Paloma would want me or Joseph to give in.

  I looked at Mohami. “They took our children for this same thing, once. We have to keep them safe.”

  He nodded. “Of course.”

  “And everyone else.” I looked to Angeline and Tsawo. “Who knows we’re here? How many of you? I thought it was just Seeyan.” And we hadn’t hidden. There were hundreds of people here, maybe thousands, who’d seen us.

  Caro, who had been sitting quietly at Mohami’s feet, must have finally figured out what Tsawo had said. “Why do they want to trade for you, Mommy? What do they want?”

  I sat down on the floor and pulled her into my lap. “They want your uncle Joseph to stop helping the fliers.”

  Caro looked up at Tsawo, a very serious look on her face. “I can help you. I can do whatever Joseph can do. He told me so.”

  Mohami seemed to be lost for words. I had to struggle not to clutch her tight to me, and maybe scare her. “Someday, sweetie. But not yet. You have to grow up first. You can help by learning and by staying safe.”

  “No! I can do things now. You just don’t believe me.”

  Actually I did. Not that she could redesign the fliers, but that she already had some of the eerie power of her uncle Joseph? Maybe so. But she was still a baby. The look on her face said she was scared.

  We’d never given them any stability at all. What kind of parents were we?

  Mohami pulled my attention back out of my navel. “You are fairly safe here. Most of the seekers have been on-planet for longer than you. But there will be new seekers coming in a few days. A bigger worry is that Bryan and Alicia know where you are.”

  “I know.”

  “We will work on a new place for you
to go. In the meantime, go to the ceremony. It’s just starting, and you won’t draw too much attention there. We’ve also added a few eyes to watch over you.”

  I didn’t want to go now. But I doubted we were safe anywhere. Liam and I had sworn not to raise the children in the dark of a cave long ago, and I still meant it. I glanced behind me to see a mask of worry on Liam’s face. But he stood up and swung Jherrel onto his shoulders, nodding once at Tsawo and saying, “Thank you.”

  I turned to Angeline, who had said nothing, and I told her, “Please keep an eye out for Alicia. I won’t be able to do it from here.” Although I couldn’t have explained a reason if asked, it felt more right to ask her than Tsawo, even though he had been Alicia’s teacher.

  The beautiful, pale flier blinked her wide blue eyes at me and nodded her head, keeping her silence for whatever reason. Joseph had told me about her daughter, the wingless young woman born of fliers, and so I added, “And I hope that Paula stays safe.”

  A small smile emerged from the pale pink line of her lips and she spoke softly. “May we all be safe.”

  Tsawo gave her a look that might have withered someone else, but she had an inner strength greater than his outward bravado, and I felt the steel in her even while Tsawo frowned. He turned back to me. “If my sister says so, we will watch for your sister.”

  At least I’d played that right. I bowed a little to him. “Thank you. If you see him, tell Joseph not to look for Alicia. Tell him to keep doing his work.”

  And then Mohami’s hand was on my arm, and behind me, just through the doorway, I glimpsed Kala and stern Samuel. I needed to talk with him. How do you explain someone like Alicia to a holy young man?

  We headed for the morning ceremony way too fast for the calm of the walk to descend upon us.

  We didn’t join the circle this time, but instead Kala led us to the top of the hill, looking down just as the first flight drew our eyes to the sun. Three other Keepers took seats nearby, watching behind and beside us. I kept my eyes on the ceremony, hoping for peace even close to the look on our watchers’ faces. From up here, the fliers burst into the sunshine at our eye level, the wings and the ribbons and beads in their hair reflecting as points of light. Kala was next to me. I touched her arm. “How do they fly without being blinded?”

  “They close their eyes.”

  That was impossible. They flew too close to each other. But Kala whispered, ‘They understand the wind on their wings, and all the concepts of space between objects. The ones who fly here are our best, and they practice every day. It makes them almost one being.”

  I left my own eyes open and watched them, marveling. Perhaps we had created something better than the original humans. At home, where the people had struggled to stay pure and untainted by genetics, I had never seen such unity. “Is it engineered into them?” I asked.

  Her voice sounded slightly disapproving of my question. “I believe it is training and engineering. Fliers with no sense of the air around them die.”

  “How—”

  Caro put her index finger in front of her lip and frowned at me. She was right. I sat still and watched, the first flight, the second, the swooping, the moving off of the fliers. Even from this distance, I felt the raw need for the fliers’ return, and the pull of the mandala gardens below me. I couldn’t participate from here, but as the chant started, it buoyed me and I closed my eyes, imagining peace.

  28

  JOSEPH: MAKING AS WELL AS WE CAN

  Kayleen’s sobs woke me. She stretched out a foot away from me, Marcus on her far side, all of us on the hard floor with our heads pillowed on the edges of the black chair. Kayleen and I and even the very air smelled like sweat and exhaustion. The light glowed softly, making Kayleen appear part shadow, part girl. I touched her shoulder. “What’s wrong?”

  For answer, she curled tighter into a ball, drawing her knees up near her chin. Marcus moaned and flopped to his side, facing us, his eyes opening for just a second before nearly rolling back into his head, showing more white than green and gold before he went back down under. I’d let him exhaust himself. I should have been better help to him, but watching even a sim die had been hard. Strange growths had started on her organs, filled her belly, and she’d thinned around them. Her heart had been unable to take the strain of movement. The sim had stopped and lain still until she could no longer breathe.

  After, we’d passed out.

  It didn’t matter that it had been only bits of information and not Paula. If we failed, it would be the real fliers we tried our magic on. There were ways and ways and ways to fail—in these steps, in the time when we made the nanotechnology and modified biological agents and put those things—too small to see, but real—into the living, breathing beings. Things we failed at, and didn’t recognize as failures, might kill someone three or thirty years from now.

  When Marcus drove us to start rebuilding right after the failure, the energy I’d fed him had been wild with hunger and fury and unfocused with exhaustion. Dirty energy, when he deserved better.

  He wasn’t going to be able to help me with Kayleen. I slid beside her, curling my slightly longer body around her so she was nearly folded inside, and stroking her back like Chelo used to do for me, running my fingers up along her spine and massaging the hard knotted muscles in the back of her neck. Her unruly hair had tangled even more than usual, and twice my hands caught in it so hard the pull must have hurt her, although she didn’t react except to arch her head back to give me room to free my fingers.

  Her cries shifted to little whimpers. My hands kept making circles on her back, as softly as possible, as if driven of their own accord. From here, with only her back and her dark hair, she could have been Alicia, except Alicia no longer cried near me. At least not visibly.

  Kayleen’s breathing calmed and became even. Just as I wondered if she had gone to sleep, she rolled over and whispered, “Thank you.”

  “What made you cry?”

  She shook her head, and for a moment I thought she’d fallen truly asleep rather than answer. Her voice came out very soft. “I’m floaty. I don’t know where I am all the time. Am I lost in the data watching a real girl die or am I in the real world watching an experiment fail? I mean, right now I know, but I didn’t know when I woke up.”

  I whispered. “Well, you’re here now. You’re with me.”

  “I know it wasn’t really Paula, but still it felt like she was here and we were making her. We killed her.”

  “I know. I felt it, too.”

  “I miss Paloma, and I’m too old to want my mom, but I do. It’s cold here.” She glanced briefly at Marcus and I hoped he was too far asleep to hear us, that he didn’t understand like I did that she meant he was cold. She’d told me that before, that he drove her and drove her.

  He had to, but she didn’t have any way of knowing why, hadn’t been exposed to much yet, not really. Besides, it was how he taught. No nonsense, no excuses. It was harder for her than for me, and I hadn’t been able to convince her to love him. “Jenna used to teach us that way,” I said. “She made us work for everything.”

  “She still does. They’re wearing me out.”

  I couldn’t argue with that. My own eyes would barely stay focused on her. She had turned onto her back and I reached over and stroked her cheek. “I want to go find them, too. I want everyone back together.” I glanced at Marcus, noting how steady and still his breath remained. Hopefully he wasn’t listening. “We have to get this done. Whether or not it has anything to do with the war, we have to help the fliers be free.”

  “What if we want to be free?”

  A good question, but I was saved from trying to answer it when the sharp trill of Sasha’s bark blasted through the door: a warning. Induan was no longer there to protect us, so we’d left the dog and a pail of water in the corridor.

  I sat up. “Marcus,” I hissed. “Get up. Someone’s outside.”

  He blinked and pushed himself up, then collapsed again. It took him t
hree tries to sit all the way up. When he did, he kept his hands on the ground, as if he needed them there to steady him. He’d never looked so weak. We hadn’t eaten, even though our stomachs had been mewling with emptiness, because we had been even more tired than we were starved. A mistake.

  I needed to take care of him. If I’d worked better with him, given him cleaner energy, he wouldn’t be so weak.

  Sasha barked again, a little calmer. Someone we knew, or someone who wasn’t actually coming closer to the door. We needed to find out.

  Marcus yawned and Kayleen sat up between us, and then I stood and stretched, looking down at them. “Ready?” Marcus had a hand to his head and looked like he might throw up, except he must be as empty as I was. “Are you okay?” I asked him.

  The door opened.

  Seeyan knelt outside, Sasha beside her with her nose on Seeyan’s leg. The woman looked up, and her eyes gave away that something was wrong.

  “Come in,” Marcus whispered.

  No. I had to take care of him. Whatever it was, none of us needed it on an empty stomach and shaking. “We need food. Now.”

  Marcus blinked at me. “Uh-huh. Okay.” When he stood up, he swayed. Before he could fall, Seeyan was beside him, supporting him. Good, because we probably couldn’t. Everything seemed bright and hot except my strength as Kayleen and I helped each other down the corridor, following Marcus on Seeyan’s arm. Seeyan didn’t look a whole lot better than we did. In spite of her own drawn, pale face and the slump of her shoulders, she settled the three of us and brought four cups of col and a plate of crackers and herb spread from the common kitchen. Then she had the common sense to let us empty the plate and most of our cups before she sat back and looked at Marcus. “How is it going?”

  He looked better for the food and drink and moved with more of his usual grace, although his eyes still looked colorless and flat. “Tough. We lost our first sim last night, and we couldn’t finish the second one before we crashed.”

  “You’ve run the pure math parts of the models?”