Legacy of Mercy

by Lynn Austin

  “No! Don’t send Derk away! Tell them to let him in, Oma. Tell Mother I want to see him.” I try to climb out of bed, but Oma stops me.

  “Don’t excite yourself. Stay still.” I don’t have the strength to get up no matter how much I want to.

  “I’ll fetch him,” the judge says. “If you want to see him, I’ll make sure you see him.”

  Derk looks as though he was dragged behind the train all the way here, his hair rumpled, his clothes wrinkled and disheveled. He comes straight to my bedside, ignoring everyone else in the room, including my outraged mother, who hurries in behind him. “Anneke, are you all right?” Derk asks. “No, of course you aren’t! What a stupid question! I found out you were sick last evening when I went to see Tante Geesje and learned she was here in Chicago with you. I’ve been so busy at the seminary that I didn’t even know Tante Geesje was gone until your uncle came to feed her cat. He told me you might be dying, so I dropped everything and got on the first train I could find. I’ve been praying for you all the way here, Anneke. Please tell me that my prayers are being answered, and that you’re getting better.”

  “I am getting better. I’m not going to die. But it may take a few more months for me to recover my strength.”

  “Thank God! Thank God!” He sinks down on the empty chair, his body limp with relief. I press my fist against my chest to ease the pain in my pounding heart. My carefully stowed box has burst open again, and the contents are pouring out.

  The judge moves to Derk’s side, offering his hand. “I don’t believe we’ve officially met, young man. I’m James Blackwell.”

  Derk springs to his feet. “Derk Vander Veen. How do you do, sir?”

  “Judge Blackwell is my father,” I tell Derk. “I found him, thanks to you. Remember the crate you helped me dig out of that horrible storage room? It had Mama’s diary inside, and it told the whole story of how they fell in love and got married. I never would have learned the truth if you hadn’t helped me, Derk.”

  “I’m so glad. And I’m very pleased to meet you, sir.”

  “I think you should go now,” Mother tells Derk. “Anna has had quite enough excitement for one day. She needs to rest.”

  “I’m sorry if I’ve upset anyone, Mrs. Nicholson, but I needed to see Anneke and—”

  “I want you to know that it’s highly improper for you to barge into Anna’s bedroom this way, young man. You aren’t a blood relative. Even Anna’s fiancé knows enough to stay away.”

  Derk stares at her in disbelief. “You mean to tell me that William hasn’t come to see her? I don’t care how improper it is! He should be here by her side if he loves her!”

  “Love compels us to leap the very highest hurdles, doesn’t it?” the judge asks. He and Derk look at each other, and I see an understanding pass between them. “My dear,” the judge adds, turning to me, “I believe I once advised you to move heaven and earth if you need to, remember?”

  “Yes, but …” I can’t tell him the reason why I must marry William. Not with my mother in the room. She is showing Derk the door.

  “Where are you staying?” the judge asks Derk.

  “Nowhere. I-I mean, I just got here from the train station.”

  “Come with me, Derk. I’m sure we can find an empty bedroom for you at my house. We’ll visit Anna again tomorrow, after she’s rested.”

  “I’ll be praying for you,” Derk says before he goes. He walks backward all the way to the door, as if reluctant to let me out of his sight, and nearly collides with the doorframe. Oma leaves with them, and I settle back against the pillows again. But my heart continues to race with joy, even after Derk is gone.

  Mother smooths my blankets back into place and refills my water glass. “Wasn’t he one of the workers at the Hotel Ottawa? Or am I mistaken?”

  “Derk did work there for the summer, but he’s also a seminary student. Remember?”

  “I don’t understand what he’s doing here.”

  How can I explain that he’s in love with me, and I’m in love with him? Love and marriage don’t mean the same things in Mother’s world as they do in Derk’s. To her, marriage is a social institution, arranged for mutual convenience. Affection often grows over time, but it isn’t a requirement. Judge Blackwell knows the perils of marrying outside one’s social class better than anyone. He can explain to Derk the tremendous pressure my parents will exert in order to keep him out of my life. But for now, my mother is waiting for my reply.

  “Derk is a good friend, Mother. He always will be. Where he comes from, friends visit each other when they’re sick—and ministers come to comfort the sick and pray with them. Derk will be a minister when he graduates this spring.”

  “I hope that’s all there is to it. We don’t want any more scandals now, do we?”

  “Has … has William asked to see me?”

  “Of course not. It wouldn’t be proper.”

  “Even though we’ll be married soon? Surely one quick visit wouldn’t hurt.”

  “I’m sorry to tell you this, Anna, but Dr. Paulson says the wedding must be postponed. He thinks it may take at least six months for you to fully regain your strength.”

  I don’t know why, but the news brings enormous relief. “What about William’s mother? And his sister? Have they asked to visit?”

  “Anna, dear. I don’t think you realize how ill you’ve been. They knew you wouldn’t want to be seen in such a dire condition. I did give you the notes they sent, didn’t I?”

  “Yes. It was kind of them to send their wishes.” There had been no note from William.

  “Now, I think you’ve had enough excitement for one evening. Good night, dear.”

  Mother kisses my forehead and turns out the light, leaving me alone to sleep. I find myself wishing once again that my father’s finances weren’t in jeopardy. If it weren’t for the specter of bankruptcy, I would gladly take Judge Blackwell’s advice and move heaven and earth to be with Derk.

  Chapter 30

  Geesje

  Holland, Michigan

  There is an inch of snow on the ground in Holland and more is falling from the sky when we arrive home from Chicago, but my little house is warm inside. My friends and neighbors have taken good care of it for me while I’ve been gone. It’s late in the afternoon and already growing dark, so I light a lamp in the front room. Cornelia picks up my cat, who is letting us know just how upset he was to be left alone all week. “I’m going to miss Anneke very much,” I say, “but it’s so good to be home again, isn’t it, Cornelia?”

  “Ya,” she says with a sigh. “The city is too big and noisy and dirty. And I don’t think I could ever get used to living in such a huge house.” Indeed, Mrs. Dunlap gave us each our own bedroom to use, but Cornelia slept in mine all week, too nervous to sleep alone in a strange room.

  Derk follows us inside, carrying our bags. “I hope you won’t be in trouble for missing two days of classes,” I say as he sets them down. He answers with a shrug, but I can tell he’s worried. This morning he came to Anneke’s house with Judge Blackwell for another brief visit with her, and I convinced him it would be best if we all bought train tickets and returned to Holland together. On the train ride home, I asked him what he and the judge talked about last evening. “He wanted to know all about me,” Derk said. “He asked me hundreds of questions—where I grew up, what my life has been like, why I decided to be a minister. I like the judge a lot. He’s wealthy and smart and high-class but very down-to-earth. I’m glad he’ll be part of Anneke’s life.”

  “I’m glad, too. My Christina once loved him.”

  “I have just enough time to run over to the seminary and talk to my professor,” Derk tells me now. “Arie is going to give me a ride. I need to explain why I left town in such a hurry and had to miss an exam. I’m going to ask if I can still take the test and maybe do extra work over the Christmas holiday to make up for it.” I keep my coat on and follow Derk outside so I can speak with Arie before he leaves. I haven’t had a
chance to ask him about Cornelia’s grandfather. The cold, wet snow seeps through the soles of my shoes as we stand together near my hitching post. Flakes of snow dust the shoulders of my son’s dark, wool coat, and I reach up to brush them off.

  “Arie, did anyone hear from Dominie Den Herder while I was gone?”

  “He came into the shop yesterday morning to tell me he’ll be leaving town soon. He said he might have found a new job. He was looking for Cornelia, so I told him she went to Chicago with you, and that you were coming home today.”

  “Did he say where he’d been all this time?”

  “I didn’t ask. He said the new job is in Kalamazoo, so I assume that’s where he went. He thanked me for letting him work in the print shop and asked if I would write him a reference.”

  “Oh dear. It sounds like he’s going to rip Cornelia away from us and run from his problems again.”

  “I know he’s been unhappy. He does good work, but his heart isn’t in it.”

  “Arie, we have to do something to keep Dominie Den Herder from moving away. He has been at such a loss after giving up his calling as a minister, and I’ve been wondering if it might help him find himself again if our pastor invited him to be more involved at church.”

  “He hasn’t shown much interest.”

  “I know. We should have made sure he was more involved right from the beginning, so he would have a chance to use his God-given gifts… . Listen, I know I’m probably meddling where I shouldn’t, but will you do me a favor? Will you talk to our pastor and ask him to invite the dominie to preach at one of our Dutch-speaking services?”

  “Preach?” Arie looks skeptical. “Why would you want someone as stern and opinionated as Marinus to preach? Who knows what he would say.”

  “I know the idea seems unwise considering how judgmental he can be. But whenever I pray for him, I’m always reminded of the calling he gave up and how he must surely be grieving that loss. Maybe it would help him—and Cornelia, too—if he could recover that important piece of his past.”

  “I understand what you’re saying, Moeder, but … well, I suppose we could see what the pastor thinks.”

  “I’ve had it in mind for some time to ask him to give Marinus a chance to preach, even if there isn’t a paid position for him in our church. But I’m sorry to say that I let my own disagreements with him get in the way of my instincts. Besides, I think the suggestion would be better received if it came from a man. And you’re still on the consistory, aren’t you?”

  “Ya.”

  “You’ll need to talk to the pastor about it soon, before Marinus and Cornelia move away.”

  “I’ll go with you,” Derk tells Arie. He has been listening to us all this time. “We can go right now.”

  “Don’t you need to talk to your professor about your absence?” I ask.

  “This is more important. Arie and I know Dominie Den Herder the best because he has been living with me and working for Arie.”

  “Bless you both. Let’s hope this will be just what the dominie needs to convince him to stay.” I watch Arie and Derk leave, praying that returning to the pulpit will help Marinus heal, just as grieving in the cemetery has helped Cornelia.

  A few minutes after they leave, a friend from church comes to my door with a warm meal for Cornelia and me. “Your son told me you were coming home today, and I knew you probably didn’t have much food in the house after being gone all week.”

  “You’re right about that,” I say, laughing. “Thank you so much.”

  “How is your granddaughter? Everyone at church has been praying for her.”

  “God heard your prayers. She’s doing much better, which is why we decided to come home. The doctor says she’s out of danger.”

  “I’m so glad.”

  I’m sitting at my kitchen table eating my friend’s stew with Cornelia when her grandfather comes to my back door. My stomach does a nervous little flip when I see him, but I hurry to the door to invite him in. “It looks like it’s still snowing, Dominie. Please come in out of the cold and have some dinner with us. Have you eaten?”

  “No, thank you. I can’t stay. I would like to speak with Cornelia.”

  “Why not sit down and join us? We just started eating.” I know what he is going to tell her, and I’m regretting my decision not to warn her about what’s coming. She has grown so much this past week while we’ve been away, learning about prayer and God’s sovereignty over life and death. If he tells Cornelia they’re moving, I fear he will destroy everything. I fill a bowl with stew for him and set it on the table along with a spoon, then pull out a chair and gesture to it. “Please, Dominie. I would like to ask for your help with something as long as you’re here.” He finally sits down and shrugs off his coat, leaving it on the back of his chair. His food remains untouched. I plunge in, hoping to at least distract him from any thoughts about moving away.

  “Cornelia and I have had a lot of time to talk while we were in Chicago, and I’ve come to a decision but I will need your help. I would like to contact the church officials in the Netherlands and get justice for Cornelia. The man who abused her needs to be held accountable for what he did.”

  “She refused to name him.”

  “I know. But we’ve talked about it, and now she is willing. Can you help me contact the appropriate officials?”

  “Why can’t you just let it remain in the past?”

  His indifference infuriates me. I struggle to speak calmly and not raise my voice. “Because Cornelia deserves justice for what that man did to her. He abused a vulnerable child in a horrific way. And the church needs to make sure it never happens to another young girl. We would be in the wrong if we looked the other way or swept it under the rug. The letter would carry more weight if it came from you instead of from me, since it was your church and your granddaughter. But whether you help me or not, I’m determined to see this through.”

  “Haven’t you meddled enough in our lives? Are you going to reach into the past, now, to interfere?”

  “You told me you came here so Cornelia could have a new start. That doesn’t happen by simply changing addresses. She needs to grieve for what she has lost before she can start all over again.”

  The dominie rises to his feet and reaches for his coat. “I’ve come to tell you to pack all your things, Cornelia. I may have found a new job in Kalamazoo.”

  “No! You can’t do that!” Cornelia throws her spoon across the room. He manages to duck in time, but it hits the wall behind him and falls to the floor with a clatter. “Why are you doing this to me? I don’t want to move away! I won’t go!” The news has taken her completely by surprise, and I know I’m to blame for not warning her. I rise and stand behind her chair with my hands on her shoulders to keep her from leaping up and running away.

  “I’m glad you found work, Dominie, but Cornelia can have a home here with me for as long as she likes.”

  “She belongs with me. I’m her grandfather.”

  “Does it matter to you what Cornelia wants? She’s a grown woman now. Shouldn’t she be allowed to make her own decisions?”

  “And I don’t want to move,” Cornelia says. “I like it here. And I like working at the store.”

  “They still let you work there after you stole that baby? The gossip was all over town!”

  “The fuss didn’t last long, Dominie. Cornelia apologized to Mrs. Visscher, and the incident was forgiven and forgotten. That’s the way love and grace work. Please let Cornelia stay and—”

  “Why are you trying to break our family apart? You’ve been turning Cornelia against me from the very start.”

  “That’s not true, Dominie. I’ve been trying to bring the two of you back together. It would be my wish that you both stay. Won’t you please sit down and talk about this with her? She deserves to hear a little more about how and why you’ve made your decision.”

  “No arguments,” he says. “My mind is made up.”

  “No!” Cornelia wails. “If you
love me at all, please let me stay!” Tears roll down her thin cheeks. He doesn’t reply. I long to unleash my tongue and tell this proud, stubborn man exactly what I think of him and his selfish decision. But my guilty conscience reminds me that when I spoke my mind a week ago, it led to this current mess. I pray for wisdom, and the only recourse I see is to swallow my pride and apologize.

  “Dominie, I’m very sorry if anything I’ve said or done has influenced your decision to move away. I had no right to speak so unkindly to you last week. I need to ask your forgiveness.”

  “It won’t change my mind.”

  In spite of my efforts to hold her down, Cornelia pushes back her chair and stands, her thin body rigid with anger. “I hate you! First you took my baby away from me and now you want to take me away from Tante Geesje! I won’t go with you! I’d sooner die!” She is about to run, but I pull her into my arms to stop her. She leans against my shoulder, sobbing.

  “I’ve heard enough,” the dominie says.

  “Please don’t walk out that door.” My voice is shaking. “You can’t keep running from your problems. Remember what happened to Jonah when he tried to run from God? I believe God brought you to Holland for a reason. You need to listen to what the people He has put in your life are trying to tell you.”

  “I’m not the one who keeps running from God! First my wife, then my son, now Cornelia! The Bible is very clear about what’s right and what’s wrong. There are laws to be obeyed, rules for the correct way to live. No one in my family has wanted to listen!” He storms out the back door, slamming it behind him.

  “Let’s finish our dinner,” I tell Cornelia after I soothe her tears. “Everything will work out. You’ll see.”

  She sits down but pushes her plate away. “I’m not hungry.”

  “Don’t go back to that dark place where you lived when you arrived here,” I tell her. “You’ve worked so hard to move into the light these past few months. Trust God, Cornelia, and keep believing that He is able to work out all of the details of your life.” She doesn’t reply. She is chewing her nails again and nervously biting the skin around them. Naming her losses and grieving them has helped her move forward, and I believe it will help Marinus, too. That’s why I’m so determined to get him back into the pulpit. But his final words before he left just now puzzle me. I sit down at the table again and take a few more bites of stew, even though I have lost my appetite.