“Okay, okay. We’ll see how to do when you try to return the ball to me.” I walk across to the opposite side of the courts. The plan is to make my serves and returns as simple as possible to give him a better chance to hit them back to me. I cherish the sound of the ball bouncing against the court before my serve. I toss the ball up, hit it across the court, and wait for Walter to hit it back.
The ball goes to him perfectly. It bounces once. Walter rears his arm backward, but I already know the ball won’t make it to me. His stance changes completely as if he is on a baseball field about to hit what was just pitched to him. The ball flies high over the fence and lands in the grass of the park behind us.
I laugh hard at the shock on Walter’s face. “This isn’t baseball, Walter,” I tell him through my giggles. “Like this.” I turn my body perpendicular to the net and swing, my arm crossing my body until my racquet was over my shoulder once I completed the follow-through. “Here, we’ll practice this way, so I don’t lose all my balls so quickly.”
Walter laughs. I stand in front of the net, still on my side, and throw the ball to him so it’ll bounce once first. His swing is much better this time. He’s more focused on what he’s doing, concentrating hard on doing it correctly. The ball goes wide of me, but I’m able to move and hit it back to him. Thanks to Coach Spell working on my volleys, I’m having no trouble doing this.
His swings aren’t always perfect, but I’d be surprised if they were. For thirty minutes, we do this until I’m confident we can rally with me farther back on the court. The only possible drawback from this experience is that Walter likes to talk during it. When I come to play, there’s never any talking unless it’s during practice and even then, not always.
“Who taught you to play?” he asks.
“My dad. We played all the time together. Sometimes, it felt like he was my coach instead of my actual coach.” Dad isn’t here playing with me now though. Walter is. Should I feel guilty? Is Walter trying to take his place? Should I be angry with him for doing so? Honestly, I think Walter was trying to find a way to connect with me and he only had three options. Math, which I do fine in. Books, and all I read are romances so that could be awkward. Or tennis, the perfect, most preferable opening.
As if he’s reading my mind, Walter hesitates with his swing, causing the green, fuzzy ball to bounce right past him. “I didn’t know that. Is it okay that I’m playing with you now?”
“Yeah. Trying starting this time.”
He bounces the ball and then swings as if it was hit to him rather than serving. We’re not tackling that issue today.
“You know, I was married before I met your mom.”
“You were?” I ask, surprised.
“Yep. I even had a daughter.”
His words shock and confuse me so much that I just stare at him. What does that mean? Where are they now?
“I don’t understand.” I don’t know why he’s telling me this either.
“I need a break. Come on.” He’s breathing kind of heavy, and I worry that he pushed himself too much. Wordlessly, I follow him off the courts and to a nearby bench, the one Cameron and Keelan usually sit on. Walter takes a few deep, long breaths before he speaks again. “My wife died during childbirth and my daughter died shortly after she was born.” I can’t stop staring at him, my eyes wide with disbelief. He continues slowly, taking his time to tell me his story.
“It happened during my late twenties, so it’s been awhile. I wasn’t sure I would ever be happy again, if I would fall in love and have a family.” He swallows hard. “Then I met your mom. I fell in love with her and fell in love with the idea of you.”
“What do you mean?” I interrupt.
“Well, we hadn’t met yet, but your mom talked about you a lot. I’ve always wanted a family, and with your mom, I would get one. Before I met you, I knew practically everything there was to know because of her. She warned me that you might not be so welcoming. She knew you were struggling with the divorce and how your dad was behaving.”
Absentmindedly, I narrow my eyes. “No wonder you never seemed surprised by me or my outbursts. You expected them.”
He laughs. “Pretty much.”
“How come you didn’t get angry with me, like Mom?”
“You were hurting,” he says with a shrug. “Hope that you would come around helped too. I can’t say I know what your dad is thinking, why he’s being like this, what you should do about it, or anything like that. All I want is for you and your mom to be happy, Haley. I don’t want to be your dad, or your friend, but if you’d let me, I’d love to be here if you need me. I’d love to be your stepdad, to be a part of your family.”
Tears well up in my eyes. Why in the world do I want to cry? For fear of the tears escaping, I simply nod. I can give Walter that. I really want to. Walter’s lips stretch into a smile so large, I wonder if he’s going to run out of room on his face.
He hugs me, whispering, “Thank you, Haley.”
“Thank you, too.”
Dad never called.
I haven’t reached out to him either. I don’t know if I want to, so I’ve done nothing. The air is getting colder with each day, which is a pain in my butt. We’ve had a lot of homework this week and except during school, I haven’t seen Keelan much. I have way too much time on my hands. Reading and homework is all I’ve done this week.
Sighing, I roll over and grab my phone. It’s 11:30 on Thursday night and I can’t sleep. Keelan might still be awake.
Me: Awake?
Keelan: Yep. Playing a video game with Cam. What’s up?
My thumbs hover over the keyboard. Things have been really good with Keelan, especially the kissing, which sounds really nice right now. Would he come get me and sneak me into his house for a little while? He didn’t have practice today, so he might not be too tired.
Me: Can’t sleep. Don’t you want to see me?
Keelan: I always want to see you.
My body automatically heats up. Before I can ask him, he sends another text.
Keelan: It’s too cold and windy for the water tower tonight. Want to come here instead?
Me: Yes.
Keelan: All right. Be there in a minute.
I clamber off my bed to first lock the door to my bedroom, and then quickly pull my shirt off and shimmy out of my shorts. No way am I going over there in my pajamas. Or, at least, not those. Instead, a pair of sweatpants and my hoodie will do. I debate over a bra or a sports bra. Bra would make me look better, but sports bra would be more comfy.
Sports bra.
I’m already going for comfort with everything else.
By the time I’ve run a brush through my hair and have brushed my teeth again, my phone dings with a text from Keelan. He’s here. I slip on my flip-flops, ease the window open, and quietly climb outside. A shiver racks my body immediately. Dang, it’s cold out here. I run to Keelan’s car, knowing it’s going to be warm and cozy in there. His heat is blasting, just like I thought it would be.
“Hey, Hales.” His smile is the best thing I’ve seen all week, even though I see it frequently.
“Hey. Thanks for coming to get me.”
“I should thank you for wanting me to,” he replies as he backs out of the driveway, turning his lights on once we’re on the road. “How come you couldn’t sleep?”
“I think I just wanted to see you.”
“And now here you are with me.”
He parks in his driveway, turning off the engine, and we quietly leave the car and enter the house. I hold my breath until we’re in his room. This is so out of character for me. Sneaking out to kiss a boy, letting him talk me into doing illegal things, and wanting to do all those things? Not me. At least, it wasn’t me last year. Who knows if the change in me is due to the divorce, my out-of-reach father, or Keelan? Keelan is the best part, and I want to enjoy him as much as possible.
I take a deep breath when his door closes behind us and the lock clicks into place. My feet slide out of
my flip-flops and I climb onto Keelan’s bed, wasting no time slipping underneath the sheets. The bed dips almost immediately as Keelan gets in after me. Shirtless, I might add.
“You’re comfortable here,” he whispers, even though he probably doesn’t need to. His parents’ TV is loud enough, it’s not like anyone could hear us if we speak normally.
“What are you talking about?” I ask with a frown.
“Here, in my bed.”
“Oh.” Yeah, I guess I am. It’s feels warm and safe. We’re lying on our sides facing one another. Keelan grabs my hips to tug me closer to him, so both our heads are on the same pillow.
“Are you doing okay, Hales?”
“Yeah, why?”
“Because you don’t usually have trouble sleeping and you haven’t said much about your dad bailing on you again.”
That isn’t why I came here. I don’t want to talk about that. I don’t want to talk about anything at all. I wiggle a little closer until there’s a breath of space between us. “I want to kiss you,” I whisper.
“Then do it,” he says with a grin.
I rest my hands on his chest, my fingers splayed. His dark skin is warm and my hands stand out against it. Weightlifting and football sure are paying off. He’s fit and just barely defined because of how lean he is. If he put on more muscle, I’d be able to see and feel a clear six-pack. Keelan chuckles, drawing my eyes up to his again. Right. Kissing him is what I’m supposed to be doing.
His grip tightens on my hips the second before my lips touch his. He rolls onto his back, pulling me with him. I pause at the new position.
“Okay?”
Am I? I almost feel powerful towering over him like this. I like that I am over him instead of the other way around. There’s something different about it than when I was over here the other day and he was on top of me. “Okay,” I confirm, leaning down to kiss him again.
Our kisses start slow. Our tongues slide against one another in a caress’ strokes that are like a slow burn of a building fire. Tentatively, I start trailing my fingertips over his chest. Up, down, left, right, anywhere and everywhere that’s still safe. But then, Keelan moves his hands from my hips to underneath my shirt. My stomach tenses as he touches bare skin.
Keelan leans his head back into the pillow, away from me. “You’re not wearing a shirt?” he rasps.
“I’m wearing a hoodie.”
“I got that, but there’s no shirt.”
I giggle as quietly as possible. “Yes, I know.”
His gulp sounds loud to me. “This okay then?”
When I hesitate, he begins to slide his hands back down as if he’s going to remove them. I shake my head. “It’s okay.”
To prove my point, I begin to kiss him again. Kissing Keelan might just be my favorite thing in the world. He’s always so earnest, so sensual. At first, he simply glides his knuckles from my waist to my hips. Safe areas. Sometimes, he spreads his fingers out over my lower back. I almost wish I were wearing a shirt because it’s starting to get too hot. Heat begins to spread to unsafe areas. Places I’m not sure how to handle, if I even wanted to. It’s too foreign, too scary, and has too many consequences, both positive and negative.
Keelan’s tongue starts to move with more force, purpose, and need. His mouth leaves mine to place open kisses on my jaw. How can something feel as good as this does? My knees squeeze his hips when he gets to that spot on my neck that threatens to undo all my self-control. Suddenly, I become aware of everything. It’s like he is setting off all my senses.
His mouth is on my neck, one hand is next to my right breast while the other is grasping my left breast, and I can very much feel Keelan underneath me. How did he manage to get me so lost that he was about to slip a hand underneath my sports bra? I pull away, his hands falling away as I sit upright. We are both panting harshly. Even though I can hear the TV, it sounds like we’re breathing too loud.
“I...” the words die. I swallow and try again. “I’m not...” God, it felt unbelievably good, but the moment I realized it, it also felt uncomfortable. How can I feel two extremes at once? Instinct seems to be the only reason I pulled away.
“I’m sorry, Hales. I shouldn’t have.”
“I’m not ready for that yet,” I whisper.
Keelan nods. “Okay. How about we lie here for a while before I need to take you home?”
“I’m sorry,” I say as I move to lie next to him.
He chuckles. “You shouldn’t be. I’d rather you tell me than for me to do something you don’t really want to do.”
He has a point. We lie quietly for a few minutes. “Can I stay here and you take me home early in the morning?”
“Yeah.” He sets an alarm on his phone and soon, we’ve fallen asleep.
My body jolts awake, my upper body popping up like a springboard, at the loud, piercing sound of an air horn. Haley has a similar reaction and we freeze when we see not only my parents, but her mom too, all standing in my room. My first thought is how did they get in? I locked my door, or at least I thought I did.
Before I can form any words, Haley blurts out, “It’s all my fault!”
“Hales!” I snap at her. She shouldn’t have to take the blame.
“Well, it is. I couldn’t sleep and begged him to come get me. It’s all my fault.”
“I don’t care,” Mrs. Rita says with a measured tone. “Get your things and let’s go. I’m already going to be late for work.”
Haley scrambles over my legs to slip on her shoes. She gives me an apologetic smile before following her mom out of the room. We are in so much trouble. I’ve never truly gotten in trouble with my parents, so I’m not sure what kind of discipline to expect.
“I suggest you get ready for school before you’re late. We’ll discuss this when you get home.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Mom and Dad leave and I fall back onto my bed. There will be more of them talking than us discussing anything. I feel a soft buzzing and groan. My alarm was set to vibrate only and I didn’t feel it. No wonder I didn’t wake up. I turn it off and get out of bed before I give my parents another reason to be upset with me. I pass Cameron on the way to the shower. He shakes his head and laughs.
“Y’all need to learn to be responsibly sneaky.”
“Shut up,” I snap.
All that does is make him laugh.
Mom and Dad have left for work by the time I come downstairs. I grab a bagel and face Cam.
“How did they get into my room?”
“They have a key to all the doors apparently. Haley’s mom called, freaked out because her door was locked, and when they peeked into the window, she wasn’t in there. When Mom saw that your door was locked, she told her that Haley might be here. Her mom wanted to come over. She’s the one who brought the air horn.”
“How mad are they?” I ask as we begin to get our keys and book bags.
“Pissed. They barely talked to me before they left and I didn’t do anything.”
On the way to school, I debate with myself whether or not the punishment coming will be worth it. On one hand, of course, I was able to spend more time with Haley, even if the majority of it was while we were asleep. On the other hand, I’ve undoubtedly disappointed my parents. Even though I want to make them so proud of me and to be the best kid for them, I’ve been doing a shitty job lately. Then again, if they hadn’t been crazy with not wanting me to see Haley unless an adult was present, maybe she wouldn’t have wanted to sneak over.
Haley and Jess are standing near the entrance, talking. She seems nervous, which isn’t a good sign. She says goodbye to Jess once I approach them. I take her hand and we walk inside.
“What happened?” I ask as we head toward her class first.
“Grounded for a month. She’s taking my phone and the only time I’m allowed to have my car is to and from school. She’s taking the doorknob off my door completely, so I can’t lock it. She’s going way too far because I freaked her out by not being t
here this morning. What happened to your alarm? What did your parents say?”
I frown with guilt. “It was on vibrate and I didn’t feel it. My parents said we would talk tonight. I guess I’ll have to tell you about it tomorrow.”
Last night wasn’t worth it if I can’t talk to her whenever I want for a month! Next time I see her outside of school, I’ll be going to the wedding with her. That is, as long as my parents don’t take that away from me too.
“Sorry,” we both say, which causes us to laugh.
The warning bell rings, so I kiss her cheek and go to my own class. This next month is going to suck.
“We’ve been thinking about how we’re going to handle this all day. We’ve already let you know that we were worried about your behavior where Haley was concerned and you’ve disappointed us. I don’t want hear whatever excuse you have ready,” Dad tells me.
“Rita was worried to death when she called this morning,” Mom begins. “She didn’t know if something happened to Haley, if she was hurt or in harm’s way, and all because you two wanted to see each other.”
Dad takes a deep breath. “We’re taking the car. You’ll ride with Cam to and from school and practice. We’re taking your phone and video games as well. For precaution, we’ll be taking Cam’s keys before we go to bed, so you don’t talk him into seeing her or sneaking out.”
All I can do is nod. I’m not sure if speaking is allowed or will inflict more punishment. I feel bad. They’re disappointed in me and Cam won’t be able to sneak out and see Jess. No racing for who knows how long because they haven’t said when I’ll get my stuff back.
“Do you have anything to say?” Mom asks.
“I’m sorry.”
They nod, but Dad only says, “Get your keys, game system, and phone, and put them in our bedroom.”
“Yes, sir.” I stand and jog up the stairs. As I’m gathering my things, Cameron walks into my room and plops down onto my bed. “I’m sorry,” I tell him.
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