400 Boys and 50 More

by Marc Laidlaw

  A light rain began to fall as the Queen and her chastened cabinet adjourned. She was wrapped in water-resistant robes of state and her sedan chair readied; and then off they went on the public road, fortunately little traveled at such an hour.

  The Kingdom was a perfect square and their destination lay in the northwesternmost corner. No need was there to consult a map, for in its superficial aspect, Spectralia exactly corresponded with the familiar demesnes of Binderwood. The true measure of the Ghost Kingdom extended into spiritual depths. It was a land of mysteries, carefully papered over, only to be peeled away through an unending series of Initiations. Tobianus had been granted six of these. Certain citizens had three times that number. The Royal Terrors claimed their Queen had bestowed them with three and thirty Initiations, all in the course of empowering them to look after her affairs.

  Any (purely hypothetical) outsider, following on their heels in the dark, damp night, would see only the common byways marked on any map. But for the citizens of Spectralia, the path was illuminated by numberless Evocations. They passed the Dire Domicile, from whence an evil light leaked out, known as the source of the Luminous Scourge, which had stricken children and kine alike and was avoided by all, despite the good-natured widow who appeared to inhabit the place. Then followed the Cavernous Extant, a pitted pasture riddled with tunnels and subterrene architecture built by a race of serpent men widely hoped (but not proven) to be extinct. Beyond was a copse that must never be crossed—the Copse Uncrossed, they called it, simply because the Queen found the name amusing and none dared question her wisdom, any more than they dared cross the copse. They skirted it discreetly.

  At last they arrived at the Cot of Concatenation, and here the Courier was privately pleased to see that word of mouth and gossip had yet to supplant the Ghost Penny Post. Not a single member of the household was expecting the arrival of the Spectral Lady and her retinue. All the Cot’s inhabitants were forcibly roused, that the Weaver could be put to work. There was some consternation due to the hour and the Weaver’s advanced age; outnumbered by the presence of so many loyal subjects, however, the complainers gained no foothold with their sleepily mutinous mutterings.

  The Weaver’s frailty was a threat to the Spectral Crown’s continued existence, but it appeared both she and the Kingdom would survive another night. Her stalwart grandson, the Cotter himself, volunteered to feed the flame and boil up vapors enough to power the steam-stoked Loom, but the Queen insisted that tonight they would rely on older methods. As the Weaver sorted strands of wool, all those assembled stated their names and status in service to Spectralia. For each citizen, a thread of yarn was drawn. A tally was made also of the unrepresented citizenry, for not every subject was free to leave their home and join the Court in darkness, much as the Queen might have wished it. While the Weaver sorted, the Queen busied herself with her combing-cards, punching holes into the rectangles of thick cardstock in the patterns she had devised to represent both the open-eyed will of the Kingdom and the actions of blind fate. She handed the cards to the Weaver. The old woman fit the boards into her Loom, then set to weaving. It was slow and quiet work as the shuttle wove, and Tobianus dozed and woke several times while the Cotter made tea and offered it about with oatcakes. The Ghost Queen never nodded. Her bright red eyes watched enrapt as the blind fingers danced; as she studied the weave that gradually emerged, her expression grew solemn and skeptical. At last they reached the end of what the cards had written and the strands of wool were severed. The Queen took the length of cloth and laid it across her knees, studying the pattern writ in textiles.

  “Weaver, your job is done.”

  “Oh, aye, Your Majesty!”

  “Hm . . . We chose no strand for the Inspector, and yet his presence is everywhere in this. With regard to the Kingdom, only a few of us are specifically addressed in these Motivations, our Courier chief among them.”

  “Yes, my Queen,” said Tobianus.

  “Tomorrow, along with your regular mail, you are to carry one letter of the Ghost Penny Post. You will receive it first but deliver it last, and deliver it only to Us. Understood?”

  “Yes, my Queen.”

  “The Royal Terrors shall see you have it before your departure. You will make no effort to hide it from the Inspector, but you will not permit him to touch it until your regular route is done. London’s hand in this is clear: as an agent of the competing post, this letter is for him alone to deliver. Tobianus, We will leave you to determine your own course. Your facility with the dice is almost the rival of Our own.”

  “Why, thank you, Your Majesty!”

  “The remainder of you shall spend the day in ordinary pursuits. At midnight, we will all reconvene at the Specter’s Seat. Tomorrow night will be as taxing as this one, We suspect. Therefore return to your homes and sleep. We release you now—all but the Terrors, of course.”

  The party dispersed into the spongy, silent night, plashing through puddles, the risen moon a grinning lookout playfully dodging clouds.

  As Tobianus picked his way back to the post office, he tried to slip free of his conviction that for Spectralia, all was about to be forever altered. But his Queen would surely say that change was the eternal nature of things. Change, chance, and choice. This was the very essence of the matter addressed by Concatenation.

  He had a shiversome moment when he felt sure he spied a shadow skulking in the lane beyond the post office, then a flare of light from the front door of the inn picked out the silhouette of a man just entering. Recognizing the figure of Floss the innkeeper, his worries eased somewhat.

  Madame Eglentine pleaded with him fruitlessly for favors as he passed her paddock and went in through the rear of the post office. He lit a lamp and stoked a very small fire in the very small stove, just enough to take off the chill. Then, settling down with a cup of cold, watery tea, he sat on the end of his rather lumpy bed, reached between his feet, and fished about until his fingers found a small box on the floor. From this he took a tattered notebook, its pages filled with columns of numbers and corresponding text. Beneath the book of tables lay a rattling half-dozen multifaceted dice. From the end of the bed, he could lean forward onto a wobbly secretary, bracing it with his elbows. He pulled the lantern closer and rolled two dice clattering across the deal surface, warped and ringed with the pale ghosts of wet saucer bottoms.

  Totaled up, the pips amounted to 21.

  Tobianus opened the book of correspondences, leafed to the section that looked most fitting to his situation (“Friend or Foe: When Faced With a Stranger, Some Affinities”), and ran a finger down to 21:

  Bold and yet invisible, the ghosts that guard Spectralia urge substantiation. Be thou therefore like a ghost, aflit by day, and yet substantial in full dark.

  Toby planted his elbows more firmly on the desk that he might hold his head in place. From the Courier, for much of the remaining night, there issued a series of low, perplexed moans.

  * * *

  Hewell was roused by roosters, having slept only fitfully, his dreams riddled with the weird scenes he had witnessed. His boots were still wet and he was grateful he had brought a spare coat, easy to find by touch in the dim gray light as it was one of his few remaining dry garments. Downstairs, he found Floss and his wife already about. She scowled at his muddy footwear, then muttered something about parties that thought so little of their responsibility that they felt at liberty to “run about at all hours,” speaking as if for her husband’s benefit but clearly concerned with the habits of their lodger. Hewell paid a perhaps unconvincing amount of attention to his breakfast of stout and cheese, then, with boots still damp, fled into the puddled street, escaping just as the inevitable quarrel broke out behind him.

  Toby looked wan with exhaustion, but Hewell refrained from inquiring as to how he had slept. The lad spent some time sorting the mail, brewing tea, readying the morning’s deliveries, and sleepily answering Hewell’s questions, although queries and responses sounded similarly stilted. As it hap
pened, they both awaited the arrival of a dispatch whose eventual discovery proved something of an anticlimax. Mr. Merricott announced the official start of business, discovering as he opened the door that an envelope had been shoved under it. “Unstamped and unaddressed. What are we to make of this?”

  Toby plucked the letter from Merricott’s fingers and secured it in his courier’s pouch. “I’ll bring it along, sir, and see if anyone recognizes it. Mr. Hewell, if you’re ready, we can look to borrow an extra mount, but often I go on foot if there’s no great urgency.”

  “The day being fairer than the night, I have no objection to a leisurely tour.”

  They embarked on a route that somewhat recalled Hewell’s dank trek of the night before, except that they stopped at almost every door. The citizens of Binderwood appeared to be great correspondents, in keeping with current trends that Hewell was used to hearing pronounced “worrisome.” People no longer went visiting; so ran the complaints. They sat in their homes, both consuming and composing endless floods of correspondence. The art of conversation was a thing of the past! It was letters people wanted now and nothing else would do. They poured their meager monies into paper, ink, and postage. The post office, as Merricott had noted, benefitted thereby; stationers were in Heaven; but still somehow it was a curse on society. Nor was it only youth who were afflicted. Grown women—even men!—devoted themselves to the frivolous pastime. The fact that Victoria’s royal visage bedizened the humble Penny Black confirmed all conspiratorial fears that the monarchy was behind this epistolary threat to civilization.

  “What can be done about it?” the worried critics of postal trends demanded of Hewell.

  “Probably nothing,” was his usual response, and he was content with that. Still, in pursuit of his employment, nothing was not an official option. And he was quite busy after all, keeping up with a certain long-legged fly named Toby.

  Near noon, they walked the drive to Pellapon Hall, and Hewell noted Toby darting nervous, expectant glances at a certain curtained window of the upper floor. Above the second-story windows were several widely spaced portals, each matched to a roof peak.

  “Perfect for concealing madwomen,” Hewell quipped.

  “Why ever would you say that, sir?” asked a suddenly pale Toby.

  “Never mind, lad. Novels are the staid diversion of an older generation that I fear will find no grip among your excitable peers.”

  As they mounted the lichen-colored steps, the front door opened. The Pellapon twins stood there, hands outstretched for Toby’s delivery, but a tall and almost skeletal form rushed from the dimness, took Hewell by the shoulder, and compelled him deep into the house. Other than the two investigators the parlor was empty, and the detective shut the door behind them to ensure it remained that way.

  “Hewell, we have much to discuss,” said Deakins with grim authority, speaking in a hoarse whisper. “I have made several discoveries and am on the verge of greater. I looked for you at the inn last night, but you were—”

  “Out, yes, I often cannot sleep in unfamiliar quarters, and so I walk about to exhaust myself. Had I known you sought me, I would have come to visit.”

  “I was hardly here myself. Strange goings-on. Furtive meetings. And much of it centered on this very house.” He clenched Hewell’s elbow and drew him in closer. “Tell me, sir—what have you discovered? If we put our clues together, the truth cannot elude us both.”

  “Nothing has come my way, I’m afraid,” said Hewell. “With careful study of the postal procedures I have found a few discrepancies, easily corrected. Of course, my investigation is not complete, but—”

  “I on the other hand have found what I believe to be a forger’s den,” said Deakins urgently, and stabbed a bony finger at the threadbare carpet beneath their feet. “In the cellar, sir. A small press suitable for printing currency. The plates are hidden away, but they cannot hide the stains of colored ink.”

  “Perhaps there is a more innocent explanation. A small press may also be used to print festive broadsides for childish amusement.”

  “This is no game, Hewell. In the woods, I have seen figures consorting. Figures of a decidedly weird aspect.”

  “Surely you do not believe there is some . . . supernatural explanation?”

  “The diabolic specter that attacked our carriage—”

  “Mr. Deakins, I took you for a man of methodical detection. I would be disappointed to learn that you look to intangible—”

  Deakins stopped him with a hand to his chest. “I am a man of tremendous imagination—that is my chief instrument, sir! However, my evidence is most substantial. Look here.”

  From his inner pocket, he produced a crumpled sheet of paper, a letter writ in fine script with violet ink. It trembled between his fingers, but he would not let it loose despite the difficulty this afforded Hewell as he tried his best to read its fevered passages, succeeding only in snatches.

  . . . a party of four shall advance north from the Serpent’s Lair . . . at the dungeon’s threshold, await instructions, for the winding stair is certainly entrapped . . . regarding encounters at the Green Monkey’s Tomb, take three cups of jade tea and consult the Augury of Night . . .

  “Poetry?” Hewell ventured.

  “Poetry? It is conspiracy! A cabal within this very house. Unbeknownst to Lord Pellapon, but dependent on his oblivious nature.”

  At that moment, the door swung open and Lord Pellapon himself looked in. “Gentlemen! There you are. Mr. Hewell, I trust your investigations proceed apace. The postal courier dawdles in the hall. It is most unseemly. I will lose Tilly over such irregularities. Mr. Deakins, you mentioned developments?”

  “Not as such yet, no,” Deakins said to Pellapon. “We have some increasingly tangible suppositions at the moment. But soon, very soon, I believe we shall have concrete results to lay before you, Hewell and I.”

  “Glad to hear it, very glad.”

  “We shall meet later, to confer,” the detective said quietly to Hewell. “I expect to have more proof by tonight, and perhaps the culprits themselves in hand. I may need your assistance. For now, betray nothing and trust no one. We will play the hand we’re dealt, and play it as two fellows well versed in bluffing.”

  “You have my full confidence and you will receive whatever cooperation you need,” Hewell assured him, although he had seen no evidence whatsoever that Deakins understood even the basic principles of bluffing.

  Toby waited at the bottom of the steps, visibly anxious not to fall behind with their deliveries. Hewell’s agitation suddenly became a match for the boy’s, a nervous nausea rising from the pit of his belly as if his heart were one of the dozen leeches in Dr. Merryweather’s celebrated Tempest Prognosticator, desperately throwing itself toward the minuscule hammer that sounded a warning bell. He dispelled much of the slimy dread by walking vigorously, so that by the end of the hornbeam drive he was feeling less oppressed; but the sense of an oncoming storm was still with him.

  “Are you unwell, sir?” Toby inquired.

  “Well enough, lad. Let’s get this over with.”

  * * *

  The Ghost Queen rose later than she had intended, given the importance of the day. The Terrors had left word of their successful delivery, so the first piece was in place. But Spectralia remained in grave danger and she must not lower her guard until the emergency had passed. She was still not entirely sure of its nature.

  Although she had read the Concatenated Motivations to her subjects in a voice of supreme confidence and authority, in truth the compiled results of the Weaver’s carding were exceedingly vague and she had taken numerous liberties in her interpretation, erring always on the side of offering reassurance. The tabulations could only be precise in addressing dilemmas that admitted to bifurcation. “Shall I respond to my suitor? Yes or No? Which fork of this road should I take? Right or Left? Should I climb to the attic or descend to the cellar?” With dice, and especially her ivory Ptolemaic of twenty facets, she could select from a
much wider set of possible paths. But she had not yet discovered a foolproof way to reduce all life’s questions to such a rubric. The card technique she had devised—based on the work of Jacques “Digesting Duck” Vaucanson, coupled with her own method of mechanical compilation—allowed another approach to analysis, but it was still more suited to fabricated situations than to the tangled weft and warp presented by reality.

  Fortunately, she had founded Spectralia with a poet’s sensibility, which she leaned upon in times of uncertainty. Even when a course could be determined by rolling dice, the path beyond the first few steps must be elaborated if not improvised—spelled out and developed in detail. In this, her muse had served her well.

  Each day began with an hour of historiography, the fabric of Spectralia spun in careful script in the pages of her minuscule books. When the work of word-spinning and world-weaving was done, the Terrors took the volume to be thread-bound and placed alongside the myriad others that made up an ongoing illuminated history of the Kingdom. Ordinarily she would then spend the rest of the morning deciding the fates of her subjects—all those who acknowledged her dominion within the square borders of Spectralia—but today contained more urgent business. It had rained in the night and the woods would be ideal for a harvest. She called the Terrors to equip an expedition.

  The day was brisk; the wind from the sea made her shrink into her wraps. The wheels of her conveyance juddered unpleasantly over every twist of root or rocky stub. Deep in the shade of the Pellapon Woods, they pushed her to and fro until she spied the purple caps and yellow veil of the ghost mushroom, growing in a fairy circle at the base of a blasted oak. The caps stained her gloves as she gathered three of the dozen or so that grew in the mold, and then the Terrors wheeled her back to her alchemical lab. Belladonna berries and other elements waited in tincture, but it was the ghost caps that exerted the key influence and she prized them for their freshness. In a mortar she made a grainy purple paste thinned with spirits and various liquors, then blended this with the other tinctures.