“You guys gave Mom the money for me to go to college, didn’t you?”
It was an accusation, not a question.
“It was the money that would have been Mac’s. Now it’s yours.”
“I don’t want it.” Eric straightened up and lifted his chin defiantly. “I didn’t want to go before and when we couldn’t afford it, maybe Mom would have given up.”
Jake snorted. “Don’t believe that for a minute. Your mom doesn’t have a lot of ‘give up’ in her.”
“I’m not my dad. He liked school. And I’m not as smart as him.”
“You don’t know that.”
The kid swallowed hard and his Adam’s apple bobbed like a cork on a fishing line. “Yeah, I do. And I don’t want to go to college just to flunk out.”
“Are you flunking in high school?” Jake asked quietly, keeping his voice even in an attempt to calm the kid down a little.
“No, but—”
“So what makes you think you’d flunk out of college?”
He scowled. “I just don’t want you guys deciding what I do with my life.”
Jake pushed off the bench and took a step toward the boy. “We’re not trying to do that,” he said. “We’re only trying to give you the opportunity to make choices for yourself. To do what Mac would have wanted.”
“My father’s dead.” Eric pushed his hair out of his eyes and Jake noticed the sheen of tears glinting in them. “I’m not him.”
“Aw, hell, Eric.” Jake blew out a breath and took a step closer. “Nobody thinks that. We just want—”
“I’m not smart like him,” Eric said. “I can’t be him. I can’t be what you guys want me to be.”
Before Jake could say anything else, Eric ran past him, grabbed his ten-speed and raced down the driveway and out onto the road.
“Perfect,” he muttered thickly as he stood alone in the barn. He was doing a hell of a job here in Coleville. Not only had he started up an affair with Mac’s old girlfriend, but he’d found a way to alienate Mac’s son.
He slapped one hand to his chest and rubbed it as if he could actually physically massage away the pain that seemed to always be with him.
It probably would have been better for everyone involved, he thought, if he’d just never come back home at all.
Ten
When Jake’s motorcycle pulled up in front of her house, the deep, throaty rumble of the engine did some amazing things to Donna’s body.
She felt the quickening of her pulse. Her heartbeat skittered and her breath shortened in anticipation. Pulling back the edge of the white lace curtains, she stared out the window at him as he swung one long leg over the back of the bike, pulled off his helmet and set it down on the black leather seat. He took off the sunglasses he wore even at night, hooked them in the pocket of his black T-shirt, and started for the house.
“Oh, boy.” Donna swallowed hard and told herself to get a grip. He wasn’t here on a date. He’d only come because she’d called him after Eric came home. Her son had been upset and hadn’t wanted to talk to her about whatever it was that was bothering him.
She’d called Jake as soon as Eric left to spend another night at his friend Jason’s house. Irritating to admit that she needed help figuring out what was wrong with Eric, but if anyone would know, it would be the man who’d spent most of the day with him. And it hadn’t taken Jake more than fifteen minutes to get here. His long legs made short work of the flower-lined walkway and in just a few seconds, he was ringing the doorbell.
Opening the door, she stood there for a long minute, just looking at him. Probably not a good idea to have him here when she was alone. Her mom was out on another date with her boyfriend and with Eric gone, too…there’d be no one around to put a damper on Donna’s already blazing internal fires.
“Do I get to come inside?” he finally asked.
“Sorry. Sorry. Yes, come in, Jake.” She opened the screen door and took a deep gulp of air as he walked past her into the living room. His scent crowded her mind, pushing rational thought out what had to be a hole in her head.
Closing the door behind him, she leaned back against it and looked up at him as he turned to face her.
“Where’s your mom?”
“On a date.”
He grinned. “No kidding? Good for her.” He glanced around. “Eric?”
“At Jason’s house.”
His grin faded as he walked up close. “In that case, I’m glad you called.”
He touched her and she felt a shiver of expectation slide down her spine. Valiantly she fought for control. “I didn’t call you so we could—” she waved one hand “—you know.”
“Okay,” he said, rubbing the palm of his hand up and down her arm in long, slow, sensuous strokes. “Then why?”
“I need to know what’s upsetting Eric,” she blurted, hating that she had to go to someone else—even Jake—to find out what was wrong with her son.
His hand on her arm stopped. “I think the idea of college is scaring him.”
“He’s only a sophomore in high school.”
“Yeah, well, like his mom, I guess he thinks ahead.”
She blew out a breath and sighed, letting her head fall back to the door behind her. “I don’t want him to be scared. I want him to be excited, knowing he can go to whatever school he wants to now.”
“He’s afraid of failing,” Jake told her.
“Why? He’s so smart.”
“That’s probably our fault,” he admitted, pulling her to him, wrapping his arms around her. “We’ve all told him how smart Mac was—and now, I think Eric’s feeling pressure to be just like his father.”
“Oh, man…” Donna slid her arms around his waist and rested her head on his chest. Just hearing the steady beat of his heart soothed her as much as having him hold her excited every cell in her body.
He rubbed her back with his big, strong hands and Donna closed her eyes, relishing the sensation even as she said, “I just want him to be happy.”
“And he knows that,” Jake assured her, voice dropping to a whisper of sound that seemed to seep right into her bones. “He’s just confused and—hell, Donna. He’s fourteen years old. That’s a rough age for a boy, anyway. He’s gonna be okay.”
He would, she knew it. Felt it. But that didn’t stop her mother’s radar from blipping into life the minute she sensed something was wrong.
“Thanks,” she said, tipping her head back to look up at him. Her gaze dropped from his eyes, to his mouth and back up again. “I guess I needed to hear that.”
“Happy to help.” A slow smile curved his mouth and his hands moved down her back to cup her behind in a strong grip. “Anything else I can say…or do?”
She really shouldn’t.
She knew darn well that making love with Jake again was just adding fuel to an already impossibly huge fire. But with his hands on her body, she simply couldn’t send him away. She needed to feel him inside her again. Needed to lose herself, if only for a few hours.
“There might be one or two things,” she said, going up on her toes to slant her mouth across his.
One kiss. Two. Three. Then a quick slide of her tongue over his lips. Her insides lit up and hunger roared to life within.
Hands on her behind, he pulled her tightly to him, letting her feel his erection, hard against her abdomen. “I’ve missed you,” he whispered just before his mouth covered hers in a kiss designed to steal what was left of her breath.
Groaning, Donna gave herself up to the conflagration blasting through her system. Every inch of her body was on fire. His big hands rubbed and kneaded her flesh and even through the fabric of her jeans, she felt the hot imprint of each of his fingers.
Her core hummed and tingled.
Her breath shattered in her lungs.
He took her mouth with a fierce determination. His tongue entwined with hers in a dance of need so ripe, so raw, she couldn’t think beyond the next caress, the next taste of him.
&nbs
p; “Your room,” he growled when he pulled his mouth free of hers. “Now.”
“Now,” she agreed and slipped out of his grasp, grabbing hold of one of his hands as she moved, dragging him across the tidy living room to the long hallway beyond. Up the flight of stairs, she turned left on the landing, hearing Jake’s hurried footsteps as if they were another heartbeat, urging her to go faster, faster.
Once inside her room, he slammed her bedroom door shut, turned to her and grabbed at the hem of her T-shirt. “You’re wearing too many clothes.”
“Right.” She helped him, fingers fumbling with snaps and zippers.
While she stripped down to her bra and lace panties, Jake kicked off his boots and tore at his own clothes until he was naked and reaching for her.
Her breath strangled in her chest as she watched him approach. His body, so hard, so muscled, so ready. She wanted him like she’d never wanted anything in her life before. And a part of her wondered as he picked her up and dropped her onto the mattress, why her need for him only seemed to grow.
Then she stopped thinking and concentrated on feeling. Reaching for him, she frowned when he avoided her hands and bent to drop a kiss onto her flat belly. Shivering, Donna sucked in air and whispered his name.
Moonlight fell through the windows of her childhood room, laying slices of silvery light across the bed and the polished hardwood floors. It dazzled across Jake, shining in his eyes, gleaming on his tanned, muscled skin. The rich, sweet scent of night-blooming jasmine perfumed the air.
He glanced up at her as he moved slowly down her body, lips and tongue trailing a line of fire over her skin. At the edge of her panties, he slipped his fingers beneath the elastic band and tugged, pulling them down, down.
Donna hissed in a breath and waited, watching him as he smoothed his fingers over the heart of her. Testing her slick heat, he stroked her as she whimpered and began to move restively on the old quilt covering her bed.
“Shh…” he whispered, the sound rumbling against her skin. “I just want a taste…”
Donna took another breath and held it as he knelt between her legs, scooped his hands beneath her bottom and lifted her high off the mattress. She curled her fingers into the fabric of the quilt beneath her and held on as she watched Jake lower his head to her body.
She couldn’t look away. Couldn’t tear her gaze from him as he slicked his tongue over an incredibly sensitive bud of flesh. “Jake—”
He smiled and licked her again. His lips, his tongue, even his teeth worked at her heated flesh until she was a writhing mass of raw nerves. She twisted in his grip, but his strong hands held her in place. He tormented her by suckling at her, teased her with a flick of his tongue, breathed against her and coaxed the fires within into an inferno.
Donna’s grip on the quilt intensified as she rocked into his mouth, his wonderful, talented mouth. Her body tightened, spiraling into a coil as she sought completion. Higher and higher she climbed, nearing the end, nearing the searing climax that awaited, just out of reach.
Finally he pushed her over the edge and she called his name on a half-muffled scream as wave after wave of sensation poured through her. Her body rocked and tears pooled behind her eyes at the wonder of what was happening and still, the starbursts didn’t end.
He wouldn’t let them.
When he set her down on the mattress, her body was still a humming mass of near-electrical energy. She couldn’t catch her breath and a part of her didn’t care. Who needed air when you could have that?
Then Jake was levering himself over her, covering her with his solid weight and pressing her into the bed. She loved the feel of his body on top of hers. Loved the slide of their flesh moving together. Loved the dusting of dark, curly hairs on his broad chest and the feel of his strength against her soft body.
Oh, God.
She loved him.
Her eyes widened as he slid his body into hers. She looked up into his dark eyes and knew the simple truth of it all. She’d always loved Jake Lonergan.
She’d tried not to.
She’d loved Mac, too, in a different way.
But it was Jake who spoke to her soul.
Jake who made her come alive with a touch.
Jake who made her laugh one minute and enraged her in the next.
“Donna?” he asked, going completely still, his thick, hard length embedded deep inside her. “Are you all right?”
“Yes,” she lied smoothly, wrapping her arms around his neck. “Yes, I’m fine.”
“Good,” he said, smiling. “Because we’re not finished yet.”
“Make me feel everything, Jake,” she whispered, moving one hand to cup his cheek. “Fill me up so full that I can’t think.”
He frowned at her. “You’re sure you’re all right?”
Concern etched on his features, his eyes glittered as he tried to see inside her head. To figure out exactly what she was thinking. Donna couldn’t risk that. So she buried her thoughts and forced a smile to put him off his guard.
Rocking her hips against him, she watched him hiss in a breath and close his eyes tightly. “Don’t I feel fine?”
“Better than fine, babe,” he murmured, rolling over onto his back and taking her with him in one smooth, practiced move.
She straddled him, as she had that night in the grove. She felt his length fill her and Donna concentrated solely on that sensation. Solely on the feel of having him inside her. Reaching around behind her back, she unhooked her bra and swung it off, tossing it to the floor.
Jake reached up, covered her breasts with his big, tanned hands and squeezed her nipples. She looked deeply into his eyes as she moved on him, rocking her hips, swiveling, creating a friction that threatened to set them both on fire.
And when he couldn’t stand the torment any longer, he dropped one hand to the point where their bodies were joined. Using his fingertip, he stroked her as she moved on him, until her breath came in short, frantic bursts.
Donna leaned over him, taking a kiss, then another as she surrendered to the fire. He touched her again and she hurled herself into the blaze and this time, she took Jake with her. He called her name as together, they dropped off the edge of the world.
By the time Jake turned into the driveway at his grandfather’s ranch yard, it was just an hour or two before dawn. Already, the ink-black sky was lightening to a deep purple and he knew he should be exhausted.
He and Donna had spent hours loving each other in more ways than he could count. But instead of being tired, he felt more alive than he ever had before. And that had him worried.
Jake cut the engine so he wouldn’t wake the household and climbed off to push the bike into the barn. He stood in the dark, took off his helmet and set it carefully down on the workbench. Mind churning with too many thoughts to single out and identify, he pulled in a long breath and tried to ignore the sense of regret welling within.
“Late date?”
He spun around to face Sam, standing in the open doorway. “What the hell are you doing out here this early?”
Sam strolled into the barn and shrugged. “Jenny Fowler’s in labor.”
Jake blinked at him. “Little Jenny? Freckles? Braids?”
Sam laughed. “She’s twenty-five now. Still has the freckles, though the braids are long gone.”
“Man, we’re getting old,” Jake muttered.
“Which brings me back to my question,” Sam said. “What’s an old man like you doing crawling back in just before dawn?”
Jake stiffened. “Is that any of your business?”
“No. I’m asking anyway.”
“Back off, Sam.”
“Relax, Jake. I’m glad for you.” Wandering over to the small fridge Jeremiah kept in his barn, he opened the door and took out a bottle of cold water. Twisting the cap off, he took a long drink, recapped it and shrugged again. “You and Donna look good together.”
Yeah, they did. Which didn’t make things any easier, to Jake’s way of thinki
ng.
“We’re not together.”
“Is that right?” One dark eyebrow lifted into an arch.
“Not the way you mean.” Not the way he’d like them to be.
“Why not?” Sam asked, leaning back against the workbench and settling in for a nice chat.
“Don’t you have a baby to deliver?”
He waved one hand. “It’s her first. Pains are still fifteen minutes apart. Told her to get to the hospital because her husband’s having a nervous breakdown. But I’ve got plenty of time.”
“Great,” Jake muttered. Louder, he said, “Well I don’t. I’m tired. Going to bed.”
“Still running?”
Jake stopped cold, spun around and glared at his cousin. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You know just what it means, Jake. You ran from what you were feeling for Donna years ago and you’re still running.”
“Who’re you? Dear Abby?”
Sam laughed and idly tossed the water bottle from his left hand to his right hand and back again. “Not hardly. I just recognize the signs. Took me long enough to see that I was in love with Maggie. Almost lost her. Because I was too stupid and stubborn to admit the truth.”
“Which was?”
His smile faded and he set the water bottle down on the workbench. “The truth was, I figured I didn’t deserve to be happy. I was so busy feeling guilty over what I let happen to Mac, I didn’t see that my own life was flying past.”
“It wasn’t your fault.”
“Or yours.” Sam walked toward him and slapped one hand on his shoulder. “Hell, Jake, you’re the one who wanted to go in after him.”
Jake shook his head, old guilt burrowing deeper into his soul. For years, he’d let everyone think that he’d wanted to go in after Mac because he thought his cousin was in trouble. He’d never told anyone the simple, ugly truth. Now, though, he heard himself blurt it out.
“Not because I was worried about him, Sam. I wanted to go in after him because I didn’t want Mac breaking my record.”
Sam just watched him, keeping quiet, silently offering to listen if he wanted to talk. And finally, after all these long years, Jake felt the words bursting from him, as if they’d been dammed up for way too long.
Satisfying Lonergan's Honor Page 10