The Doctor's Surprise Bride

by Fiona McArthur

  Jack might look at her with horror and say she didn’t cry, but inside she’d been weeping rivers of tears for two beautiful people and their baby daughter who’d had the shortest time together. But they had had time together—Amelia had waited to meet her parents before she’d left, and Mary and Mick would learn to treasure those few owlish looks from their daughter before she’d closed her eyes for ever.

  Eliza turned and entered the hospital. Rhonda would finish her shift in an hour and Eliza had just enough time to go home, shower and feed the animals before she needed to come back for the day.

  On the drive home she passed the spot where the unknown woman had driven off the edge of the ravine, and she wondered how they both were. How tragically ironic that those two had survived such a horrific accident and yet Mary’s baby had died from a natural birth. Eliza wondered what God’s grand plan had in store for that other baby girl.

  It must be something amazing to spare her against such odds. And what special mission had Amelia accomplished during her few minutes of life?

  Now the tears started to fall and Eliza pulled in under the moon gate and parked her car in front of Dulcie’s house. Her head fell down on the edge of the steering-wheel and great racking sobs tore from her chest and she sobbed as if she would never stop.

  After a few minutes she raised her head and realised that Roxy was howling outside the car door. Eliza drew a deep breath and turned the handle to let her in. The dog stood up on her hind legs and buried her wet nose under Eliza’s armpit.

  ‘Yes, you can lick me,’ Eliza said, and then she climbed out of the car and hugged the warm body of the dog. She stood up and the sun shone in her eyes and Poco the donkey brayed for attention.

  One of the roosters crowed and Eliza headed for the pens. She may as well do all this in these clothes, at least it would be easier to climb the fence with her trousers on.

  By seven a.m. Eliza was back at the hospital and a shattered Rhonda went home.

  Eliza carried the breakfast tray into Mary’s room and to her surprise she found Mick was gone.

  Mary looked up, saw Eliza and held open her arms.

  ‘Thank you for everything, you wonderful, wonderful woman,’ she said in a broken voice. Eliza almost dropped the tray in her hurry to return the hug.

  ‘I’m so sorry, Mary. Amelia is so perfect and beautiful but here so short a time. We’re all devastated.’

  ‘I know. I thank God every minute that she was born here, with my friends around me, and not somewhere cold and distant where I didn’t know the staff and where they might have whisked her away to die away from me. I’m just sorry you had to carry the burden on your own, Eliza. I know you have.

  ‘Poor Jack is distraught—it must be like losing my sister and his son all over again. But maybe part of Amelia’s gift will be the healing of Jack now that he has allowed himself to grieve for his own child along with mine.’

  She shrugged painfully and closed her eyes as the grief overwhelmed her again.

  Eliza couldn’t believe that Mary could still think of others through her own pain. She wasn’t sure that Jack was worth it, the way he’d just treated her. She brushed her own tears away and raised her chin. ‘Where’s Mick?’

  ‘He’s gone home to shower and have breakfast. He’s angry at fate and he’s angry at me because he says I was too accepting, but that’s a man’s way. They hit out when they see our strength because they know they are nowhere near as strong. Strong women frighten them.’

  Eliza saw the wisdom in Mary’s quiet words and it was as if a light shone brightly out of the darkness. Now was not the time to sort this out, but later things would change. That concept would explain so many things in her life.

  ‘You are right, Mary,’ she said resolutely, and there was something in Eliza’s voice that made Mary look at her. Strength passed between them and then they both looked at the tiny cot in the corner. Without a word Eliza brought Mary’s daughter to her for a kiss.

  ‘I’ll go home this afternoon,’ Mary said. ‘The visitors can come here instead of home and before dark we’ll say goodbye to Amelia and leave her with you.’

  Eliza nodded and the day started.

  Mary showered and pushed her breakfast around her plate, and all the time Amelia stayed in the room with her mother.

  ‘These are sad days for the hospital, Eliza. First that terrible accident and now Matron’s baby.’ Dulcie Gardner’s blue eyes were even paler with tears.

  ‘Yes, Dulcie. But comfort is found in strange places. Like me minding your house for you. I went home so upset this morning I cried, and do you know who gave me comfort? Your dog, Roxy. She was so wonderful and I realised how lucky I was to be in that place at that time.’

  ‘I’m glad, my dear.’ And indeed she did look brighter to think that her dog had helped.

  ‘How do I stop her licking me, though?’ Eliza asked as she helped Dulcie put on her shoes.

  Dulcie nodded. ‘She does have a busy tongue. Just say, “Yucky,” and she’ll step back.’

  When they both smiled, they stopped and looked at each other, and Eliza thought of the strength of women. A man would think they were callous but they were carrying the pain of loss yet moving on.

  ‘Did they ever find out who that poor young woman was?’ Dulcie asked.

  ‘Not yet. Or who she was visiting. She’s not off the critical list, yet but the baby is doing well.’ Eliza finished tidying the room.

  Eliza heard Dulcie talking to herself as she left. ‘That’s a blessing, then. Poor little mite.’

  True to his word Jack didn’t come in, even to see Mary before she left, though he phoned her.

  Donna came in for the night shift an hour early and shooed Eliza home.

  ‘You’ve done a mammoth job, and everyone knows it. The hospital thanks you, Eliza.’

  ‘Donna! Thank you. Rhonda was wonderful, too. And thank you for coming in early. I must admit I’m shattered and will be glad when Friday comes and I can have days off. This has been the week from hell.’

  Donna nodded vehement agreement. ‘Jack’s feeling it too. I’ve never known him to take more than a day off before.’

  Eliza did not want to talk about Jack. ‘More fool him, then. Goodnight, Donna.’

  At home, Eliza watered the animals and then wandered down to the creek, where the steady trickle of water splashed over pink and yellow pebbles in the creek bed.

  No other sounds intruded except birds, cracking twigs from Roxy hunting in the undergrowth and the evening wind in the tops of the trees. The sun was still red-ringed with smoke. It hung low in the sky, but the heat from the day was still in the air. There was a deeper swimming hole at a bend in the creek where if she stripped off her clothes she’d be able to sit or lie in the water and get cool.

  Eliza glanced around and, of course, there was no one in sight. She shrugged out of her clothes. Soon she was lying on her elbows with the cold water swirling around her, draining the tension from her body and washing away the hurtful things that Jack had said.

  Mary’s words came back to her and Eliza wondered if she truly had such strength, maybe that was why men in her past had come for healing and then left. It made sense.

  Perhaps even her mother leaving her father, because she had been strong enough to do so, made sense. And her own father, leaning on her, retreating from society because he didn’t need them while he had Eliza, using her strength because he couldn’t go on without it. She felt the weight of failure she’d carried with her drifting away down the creek.

  Her mother leaving hadn’t been Eliza’s fault. The fact that her mother had been able to walk away from her daughter showed enormous strength, and maybe one day Eliza would find her and ask why.

  Eliza stood up from the water and waded back to the bank. She might be strong but she was bone tired and needed to sleep.

  The next morning Eliza took an apple down to the gate and Poco obligingly moved away. She’d been too tired to remember that yesterday. E
liza grinned at the grey-nosed donkey. ‘I’ve got your secret now, haven’t I, old son?’

  On the drive into the hospital the day promised to be a little cooler. In fact, Eliza wondered if there were rainclouds gathering on the horizon again.

  Considering the past week, the day was uneventful and again Jack didn’t show up. Eliza had a few minor outpatients, which she managed on her own, and anyone she was worried about she consulted Armidale’s outpatient clinic before sending them home.

  After work she drove out to Mary and Mick’s house and spent half an hour with them. She left a cooked chicken and bread rolls from the shop in case Mary didn’t feel like cooking, but refused Mary’s offer to join them. She judged them best visited in short bursts.

  The rest of the week followed the same pattern and Eliza didn’t try to vary it. She was too thankful for the brief window of relief from Jack.

  On Friday night, Eliza arrived home and it was still light. What should she do? It seemed like for ever since she’d had two days off work and she didn’t know how to fill the time.

  She could go to see Jack but more than likely such a visit would open her up for more pain.

  A visit to Jack might help him, not herself, and it was time she nurtured herself without saving others.

  She deserved it.

  She was worth it.

  ‘I’m worth it.’ It felt good just to say that out loud.

  She would stay home with the animals and potter. She would lie in the sun with a book and doze in the afternoon and renew her spirit. Her soul needed it and from now on she would look after herself.

  Eliza waited for Jack to do his morning round on Monday and she remembered the first day she’d waited for him.

  It felt so long ago. Since then she’d seen so many sides of him.

  He had a caring side with all his patients, like Dulcie, waiting with the sick woman and worrying about her pets.

  She’d seen the strong and efficient side, with the unknown woman and her emergency Caesarean. Not many doctors would have handled that situation so calmly.

  Then there was his humorous side, his puns and sense of the ridiculous that could make her laugh.

  But his tortured side was too deep. too hurtful, and he made her cry. She didn’t need that.

  Regardless of how much her emotions were involved, she wasn’t going to sacrifice herself on the altar of Jack’s needs.

  The tiny flicker of hope that had whispered he might someday come to her as a whole man was gone. It had disappeared into the sunrise with his car last Monday.

  Now she could hear his voice rise to greet someone outside and then his footsteps echoed down the corridor. Eliza waited at the nurses’ station with a neutral expression on her face.

  Jack had no idea where the last week had gone. He’d been to see Mary and Mick at least once each day but otherwise his phone hadn’t rung and he hadn’t left his house.

  It was time to put all the grief behind him and move on—which meant he had to return to work!

  And face Eliza.

  This would be the hardest part.

  He knew that he’d been unfair to her. And not just because he’d left the whole responsibility of the hospital with her. He’d been cruel and unjustified in his lashing out. Although he couldn’t remember exactly what he’d said on the morning of Amelia’s birth, he knew he’d dumped his grief and pain and uselessness on the one person he shouldn’t have. Why were people always hardest on the ones they loved?

  The incredible night he’d spent with Eliza in his arms felt like a distant dream, and he’d failed her when he’d known how fragile she was with giving her heart. He just hoped she’d forgive him.

  Jack rounded the corner. There she was! Five feet nothing and terrifyingly efficient. In fact—plain terrifying. She made him feel things he’d vowed never to feel again and unlike Lydia she didn’t need him to look after her. He probably had nothing to offer her that she couldn’t get for herself. If she ever forgave him.

  Her hair swung around her cheekbones as she glanced away and then back at him, and he couldn’t tell if she was still angry because she didn’t meet his eyes.

  CHAPTER TEN

  ‘HELLO, Eliza,’ Jack said.

  Jack looked older and drawn, and Eliza fought the impulse to pull his head down on her chest and tell him it would be all right.

  He didn’t want her and even if he did, he’d be another millstone around her neck because he couldn’t free himself from his past. He’d have to wake up to himself without her.

  She’d been there. Loving emotionally scarred men who couldn’t return unconditional love, and the cost was too high. She wasn’t going back.

  ‘Good morning, Doctor.’ She didn’t give him time to comment on her formality. ‘Dulcie is coming along well. She managed to dress herself completely this morning, though we still need to work on her step-climbing.’

  ‘Excellent. How are you coping with the animals?’

  ‘Fine.’ She picked up her pace and smiled at her patient as she rounded the corner into Dulcie’s room. Jack could do nothing but follow.

  ‘Matron tells me you are improving every day, Dulcie,’ he said.

  ‘I think so. What I want to know is how well am I going to get, Dr Jack? I’m eager to get home and I did well on my first visit. I’m too young for this invalid stuff.’

  Jack nodded in sympathy. ‘I’ll speak to the occupational therapist today and see if there are any improvements we could make in your house to make it safer. I know she thinks you’re progressing well.’

  Dulcie had questions that she’d had time to think about. ‘Am I at risk of having another stroke or will the blood-thinning medication I’m on now stop that?’

  ‘The tablets you’re on will certainly cut down the risk, and in a way you were lucky to have a mild stroke and warn us that you were in danger of a major stroke, which would be a lot harder to recover from.’

  Jack hesitated. ‘I’m hoping you’ll return to almost full strength in your right side within the next month and you should be home in less than a week if we get everything right.’

  Dulcie smiled with relief. ‘I can wait if the news is going to be that good. For a while there I thought I was gone. There are a few things I need to straighten up before I die.’

  ‘Well I’m hoping you’ll live a long and productive life, Dulcie, so don’t talk about dying yet.’

  They left Dulcie and did a quick check with the seniors and all the time Jack tried to start a personal conversation. Eliza was having none of it.

  ‘Well that’s it, thank you, Doctor. Have a good day.’ Eliza spun on her heel and walked back towards Dulcie. She could feel his eyes on her as she went, but it was better this way.

  ‘Eliza. Stop!’

  His voice was quiet but there was a note of command in it she’d never heard before. Despite herself, Eliza stopped.

  ‘Please, look at me.’

  She stared at the corridor in front of her for a moment and then her shoulders stiffened as she turned. She would not allow him to hurt her again.

  ‘Yes?’

  He took three steps and then he was right beside her and she could feel the heat coming from his body because he was close. Too close.

  ‘I need to apologise for the things I said after Amelia died.’ He looked down into her face and his dark eyes were shadowed with remembered grief.

  He was still thinking about himself, not her—or them. He needed to apologise for his own sake, not for hers or for what they had between them. ‘If that’s what you need to do, then go ahead.’

  He winced and Eliza sighed. It would be better to get this over quickly instead of being confrontational. ‘Forget I said that. I’m listening.’

  He stared at her for a moment as if to judge how receptive she was, and then gave a tiny shrug.

  ‘I was overwrought and to attack you was unforgivable. In my defence, the last few days had been especially emotional—not just with the present but with a lot of iss
ues I should have dealt with years ago. You have helped me with those too, Eliza, and I had no right to take my pain out on you. I am deeply sorry.’ He even looked the part. As apologies went, it was fairly impressive.

  Eliza could feel the tears prickling behind her eyes but she had too much at stake herself!

  ‘All right, Jack. I know what sort of week you’d had—because I had it, too. You hurt me but you woke me up as well. The big discovery is I am passing through here and we’d both do well to remember that.’

  Jack shook his head in denial. ‘There is more than that between us, but I guess we can start there.’ He held out his hand. ‘Friends?’

  Eliza shook her head. ‘No. I’m not interested. There is no start to any relationship between us. Julie is looking for my replacement now.’

  That night Jack tried to speak to Eliza at her house but she refused to open the door. She turned off the outside light and turned the television up so he couldn’t even talk to her through the wood.

  On Tuesday he called again and left a teacake and flowers on her step.

  When he called around on Wednesday night the flowers were dry and wilted and a dog dish sat where he’d rested the cake.

  On Thursday morning news came through that the police had identified the young woman from the crash. Two policemen from Armidale appeared at the hospital and asked for Dulcie Gardner.

  Eliza tried to contact Jack but he was on a call and out of range. She could only hold Dulcie’s hand as the news was broken to her and they both sat, stunned. The driver had been identified as Bronte Gardner, Dulcie’s daughter, and she was still in serious condition in a Sydney hospital.

  When the policemen left, Dulcie looked up at Eliza, pain and confusion and guilt dark in her eyes.

  Her voice cracked. ‘How could I not know my daughter was fighting for her life?’ She clutched at Eliza’s hand. ‘Go and see your mother, Eliza, before you end up with regrets it will be too late to do anything about.’

  Eliza nodded, because it was the only comfort she could give. ‘We’ll arrange for you to see Bronte as soon as possible, Dulcie.’