Knocking Boots (Sexy Standalone)

by Willow Winters

  I want to say something to her, but I’m not sure if I’ll say the right thing. I don’t want to cause tension for her or upset her. I already feel like I owe her and Abbi. I should’ve been there. Chris would still be alive if I hadn’t fucked up.

  “Mom and Dad are at the doctor, getting Dad’s knee looked at. They’ll be back later to help out,” she says.

  “Haley—”

  She picks up her purse, and turns to look at me. “What?”

  “Just…” I can almost see the ghost of her dead husband, haunting the space between us. “Don’t you think you should slow down a little? You’ve gone out on two dates already since I’ve been home. I’ve barely seen you.”

  “You’re telling me how to live my life. You were the one that brought Chris home in the first place,” she says, her mouth curving down like she’s tasting something bitter even though her eyes glass over. She swallows thickly and looks away.

  She’s hurting, and I regret bringing it up.

  “Haley…” I say, setting my glass of juice on the counter.

  She shifts her stance, ready to leave, and glares at me.

  “Do me a favor? Watch Abbi, and stay out of my business while you do it. Can you do that?”

  My voice catches in my throat. I don’t like the way she’s talking to me, but another part of me is fine with her anger. I deserve it. I brought those two together and then failed to bring him back home to her. This is the most we’ve ever talked about it. I feel useless. I don’t have the words to say how I feel; I certainly don’t have the ones she wants to hear. I take a deep breath, hold it for a second before letting it go.

  “Yeah, alright,” I say, waving her off.

  She heads off, oblivious to the bye mommy! that Abbi lets out. I hear the click of her heels and then the door slams.

  I curse beneath my breath, and turn back to Abbi. She smiles at me, milk running down her chin.

  I push two pieces of bread into the toaster and think back to how they met. I brought Chris Goode home for the holiday after Haley’s graduation. We’d gotten real close and he didn’t have any family of his own. He and Haley hit it off right away, got engaged on his next trip home.

  I couldn’t be mad. Chris had a backbone of steel, but he melted whenever Haley was around. Watching them together… well, it made me hopeful for the future. Made me think of Vi, honestly.

  Chris became the team leader of my SEALs unit, right after they married. Then we were shipped off to Syria, to quell the civilian violence. We did our jobs, saw plenty of bloodshed.

  Hell, I personally wrought plenty of it, as the unit’s designated sniper. But we got through it.

  One morning it was my turn to go through routine psychological testing, care of the U.S. Navy. While I was sitting in a cramped tent and talking to the shrink about how he thought I may not be fit to continue, my squad was lighting up a tactical view point in downtown Damascus.

  The operation went sideways, and an RPG ended the entire thing. Without an experienced sniper to look down over the scene, my squad had no chance. They were dead before anyone even knew what was happening.

  The toast pops up, waking me from my thoughts. I grab it and eat it over the sink, keeping an eye on Abbi. I’ve never discussed the details of Chris’ death with Haley, not once. I wasn’t there. I should’ve kept my mouth shut to that fucking shrink. I’m fine. I’m as good as I’m gonna be, doing the shit we did. I don’t know what they expect from me.

  I wanted to tell her. I’ve wanted to tell her so many times, but she never asked.

  Not even as she stood at his funeral, sobbing uncontrollably and demanding to know why God would take her husband so soon. The more emotional she got, the more distant I became.

  I went back to the SEALs, went back on active duty, but my heart wasn’t in it. After a couple of close calls, my new unit commander had me declared unfit.

  So now I’m eating toast and watching Abbi push her cereal around with her fingers, spoon forgotten.

  “Hey,” I say. “What should we do this morning? Play a game? Watch TV?” I ask her to get my mind on something else.

  I take her shoes off, and put them on the right way, lacing them up.

  She looks thoughtful for a moment, then gleeful. “Cookie!”

  She pronounces it cooo-kieee, but I understand her well enough.

  “Cookie?” I ask.

  “Cookie store!” she announces, throwing her arms in the air.

  A piece of cereal goes flying from her hand, landing on the floor with a plop. I grab a paper towel and wipe off her hands before kneeling to get the cereal off the floor.

  “Cookie store,” I say thoughtfully. “Do you mean Sweet Treats?”

  “Yeaaah!” she says, doing a happy dance in her seat. “Tweet! Tweet!”

  “Alright,” I say, unable to resist her charm. “Let’s go to the cookie store.”

  I pick her up, find my keys, and head out.

  Abbi is surprisingly light in my arms. She’s bubbly and talkative as we walk the six blocks to the bakery. I can’t understand most of what she’s saying, but I let her chatter away as we go.

  As far as company goes, Abbi is proving pretty good. We walk slowly, not in any hurry. I make sure to point out the buildings as we pass them.

  “That’s the post office,” I say. “And that’s the church…”

  We make it to the bakery in no time and with her still smiling. The front door chimes as I open it. There’s a big display case and a counter with a cash register on it, but no one is up front. It’s quiet.

  “Down!” Abbi says, wiggling.

  I let her climb down, looking at the display. I walk over to admire the frosted cupcakes and seemingly endless cookies, crouching to see a carefully iced birthday cake. It’s got huge frosting balloons all over, and it says Happy 8th Birthday Henry!

  “Can I help you?” a soft voice comes through and makes my heart stutter.

  I straighten, and look right at Violet. She stares back at me for a long second, equally surprised. She looks so damn beautiful. Her long hair is pulled back, making the soft curves of her face stand out even more.

  My heart pauses as I take her in. She’s got an apron wrapped around her narrow waist, making her body look extra curvy. What the hell? Is she working here?

  “Vi,” I say with a hint of confusion. “What are you doing here? Are you working for Mr. Mealey?” He’s had this place all my life.

  She scowls. “It’s my place now.”

  I raise my brows. “You made all of this?”

  She stares at me for a minute as if she’s not sure if she even wants to answer me, and it pisses me off. She can run away, she can shut me out, but I’m not going anywhere. I want her, and I’m not gonna stop until I have her.

  She spots Abbi, who has come over to cling to my leg. I can see the confusion ripple through Vi. I have the feeling that she’s trying to figure out how the hell Abbi got stuck with me.

  “Hi there,” Vi says to Abbi with a much softer voice than what she gave me. She walks around the display to kneel in front of Abbi.

  “Cookie Lady,” Abbi says to her, and then looks to me for reassurance.

  “Cookie Lady is super nice,” I say. “Right, Cookie Lady?”

  “Right,” Vi says, looking at me uncertainly. When she turns to Abbi, though, she’s all smiles. “How about you and I go around the counter and pick out a cookie?”

  “Yeah!” Abbi says, grinning. “Cookie!”

  Vi stands up and takes Abbi by the hand. They walk to the back of the display case, where Abbi picks out three cookies. They’re huge, easily as big as my hand.

  “Would you wrap up two of them, so we can take them home?” I say to Vi.

  “Yeah,” she says easily, not smiling at me but then giving Abbi a grin.

  I look at Abbi. “I don’t think your mom will be excited about you having three cookies at once, buddy.”

  Abbi comes around the counter, happy. She’s busy eating her coo
kie of choice, chocolate chip and M&Ms.

  I pick Abbi up and sit her down on the only bench available.

  Vi smiles again, and goes to wrap up the other cookies. I pull out my wallet and toss two twenties on the counter.

  “Just one,” Vi says matter-of-factly, pushing the other twenty across the counter. “Cookies are only one fifty apiece.”

  “So keep the change,” I say, shrugging.

  She narrows her eyes and shakes her head, not moving to touch the other twenty as she rings up the sale.

  “Okay, how about this? I talk to you for five minutes, and you keep the rest of the money as services rendered,” I say, holding her gaze

  Vi gives me a suspicious look, but picks up the money and puts it in the till.

  “Fine. Five minutes,” she says, pushing the small white bag of cookies across the counter to me and crossing her arms. She doesn’t know it, but that bite in her voice and the way her breasts are pushed up only make me want her more. If she’s thinking she can send me away with this cold shoulder she’s given me, she’s wrong. Dead fucking wrong.

  “I want to say…” I clear my throat and try to think of the right words. “I want to apologize,” I say, looking down at my hands. “For leaving you.” I look back up and into her eyes. She’s trying to hide it, but I know she’s still hurting.

  “What about for leaving me to the wolves?” she asks, arms crossed.

  “I’m sorry, Vi.”

  “I told you not to call me that.”

  I frown as I consider her. I don’t like it.

  She might be upset with me, but I know I can make this right. She’s my Vi. She’ll always be mine. She can be mad at me for now, but that’s not changing.

  I take a deep breath and decide to just talk and open up to her. Maybe if I start, she’ll follow my lead. And I want her to know. I want to be able to confide in her like I used to. “I feel really out of place here,” I say. “Civilian life isn’t what I remember it to be. But I look at you, and I think—”

  The door chimes and I pause my thought; we both turn to see Mr. White, Slade’s father. He looks the same as ever, a tall man in a dark suit with greying hair. He shoots me and Abbi a disdainful look, then turns to Vi. I clench my jaw.

  “Good morning, Violet,” he says, ignoring me. “I came in to get that tray of croissants for the bank.” He walks up to the counter. “Big meeting, you know.”

  “Oh, of course,” Vi says, darting a nervous look at me. “Let me grab it for you.”

  She ducks into the back, leaving me alone with Mr. White. I glance at him, but he pointedly stares at the display case.

  I guess he knows who I am, then. It’s a small town and we’ve met before, but I haven’t seen him since I’ve been back. I haven’t seen much of anyone.

  Vi comes back with the tray of fresh croissants wrapped up in plastic wrap and sets it on the counter.

  “Thanks for your order,” she says nervously.

  “Not at all, my dear. By the way, how was your date with Slade on Saturday?” Her brows shoot up, and he chuckles. “Slade keeps me in the loop on everything. I just thought I’d ask how it went.”

  “I, uh…” she stammers. She looks at me, blushing, and then back to Mr. White. “Good?”

  “Oh good,” he says, glancing at the croissants. “I think you and Slade make a nice couple. Especially considering the fact that Slade doesn’t care about your past, apparently…”

  Her past? Is that fucker referring to me?

  I bite my tongue and wait for Vi to say something or give me a look so I know I can take over.

  “It was just fine,” she says, as though there was nothing wrong with that statement.

  My hands curl into fists and I start to take a step forward, but before I can do anything about what Mr. White just said, Abbi announces that she’s done eating.

  “All done!” she says, waving her sticky, chocolate-covered hands at me. “Allllll done.”

  Thank fuck she reminded me she was here. I’m on edge with anger and doing my best to contain it. I look back at Mr. White and see him for the man he’s always been. If Abbi wasn’t here, I’d slam my fist into his jaw.

  I look back at Vi and she’s not showing any concern.

  I huff out a breath and walk over to pick Abbi up. It’s definitely time for us to go. I turn toward the door.

  “Wait!” Vi calls as I get to the front door.

  I turn back, and she’s holding the white paper bag with my extra cookies in it. “Don’t forget these.”

  I trudge over and take them from her, not making eye contact. I’m pissed, and if I’m not careful, my anger will splash over onto Vi.

  I’m pushing my way out with Abbi in my arms when I hear Vi’s parting words.

  “See you later?” she says as though it’s a question.

  It might be in my imagination, but I think it sounds hopeful. I straighten up and look back at her. She’s not pissed, and she’s asking to see me again.

  “For that five minutes I owe you,” she tacks on quickly. I look past her and see Mr. White looking pissed as hell.

  I give her a small grin. “I’ll swing by again.”

  Chapter 46

  Violet

  I’ve never felt so uncomfortable in my entire life. My cheeks burn, and the back of my neck feels like it’s on fire.

  I can’t imagine Mr. White didn’t know exactly what he was doing bringing up the fact that I was on a date with Slade in front of Hunter. I wish he’d just leave. I’m not even really listening to him.

  I just want to know what Hunter was going to say. I shouldn’t be hanging on to every word coming out of his gorgeous mouth, but I am. I’m ashamed that I seem to be falling for his charm again, but I can’t help it.

  When I look at him, I see the boy I fell in love with and the way he says my name … it all comes back to me.

  I giggled at him as he took my hand in his and led me through the back path of the woods to the creek. It was our favorite place to hide away and get lost in each other’s kisses and innocent touches.

  We’d been together almost three months and it finally felt like… like it was real. Like it wasn’t going to end any minute now.

  A wide smile made his handsome face even more attractive as he ducked under the thick branch of a tree.

  I lowered my head and kept up, walking as fast as I could across the uneven dirt floor littered with sticks and random stones.

  “Why are you in such a rush tonight?” I asked him with humor as he pulled on my hand.

  He looked back at me, moving the branches out of my way.

  “You’ll see, Vi.”

  His face was so happy, and my heart seemed to melt.

  It was the first time he called me Vi. The tone of his voice was so easy and full of warmth. It was as if in that moment, I was his. His Vi.

  “Come on,” he said, tugging once again. I hadn’t realized I’d stopped.

  He led me through the opening to a small clearing by the creek and I looked all around for whatever it was he was anxious to see.

  He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled my back into his hard chest. I remember his hot breath on my neck sending goosebumps down my arms as he lowered his head and whispered into my ear.

  “Look up.”

  I did in an instant, letting my head rest against his broad shoulder.

  Above us were so many bright white stars, lighting up the dark night. Shooting stars. My eyes widened, and my lips parted. It was so beautiful. The sky was littered with bright lights and streaks of wonder.

  “It’s the aurora borealis,” he said quietly. I wrapped my arms on top of his, loving how his body warmed me in the chill of the night. “I thought you’d like it.”

  I kept my eyes focused on the stars, but I was mesmerized by the sincerity in his voice and the comfort of his touch. “I love it.”

  Mr. White clears his throat, snapping me out of the sweet memory and back to this bullshit reality. Time has changed
everything.

  I can’t look at him as the front door closes and Hunter walks out with his little niece in his arms.

  I feel so guilty. I don’t even know what for! I’m not seeing either Hunter or Slade.

  I turn around and start cleaning the marble cutting board. There’s a bit of icing on it left over from the cookies that needs to be scraped off before it hardens.

  “Can I get you anything else while you’re in here?” I ask.

  I don’t turn around. I’m focused on the mess I’ve made, and just trying to clean it up. I feel like I’ve had enough of Mr. White and enough of these games.

  I need him though. I need that fucking loan. I have too much credit card debt and I’ve been denied so many times it’s not funny. He’s my last hope. I fucking hate it.

  “You know it doesn’t look good on my family name for you to be talking to that young man,” Mr. White says, in a lowered voice that forces me to turn around and stare him down.

  “I’m sorry?”

  I give him a look that lets him know I’m pissed off. I may feel bad about how everything’s progressing, and the fact that I’m just not into Slade like I probably should be.

  But I am not going to let him accuse me of anything. Or talk down about Hunter.

  “Slade’s a good man, isn’t he?” he asks me.

  I grab the small towel on the counter and wipe down my hands. My brows are pinched and no matter how hard I try, I can’t soften them. My breath is caught in my chest. I feel stuck.

  “He is,” I answer simply.

  There’s certainly nothing wrong with him. Even if there was, I’m not going to be rude.

  “He deserves a good woman.” My skin prickles with insecurity as I stare back at Mr. White. “I understand you and Mr. Graves had a little thing going on a few years ago, but Slade assured me that it was just a mistake.”

  My heart hammers in my chest. How the hell did I fall into this conversation? It’s been years since anyone has had the nerve to bring that up to me. Let alone a grown man.