Book Three_A Codependent Love Story

by Paloma Meir

  “I quit Zelda. I can’t go back to Bucharest,” Astrid said as she walked away, waving goodbye to all.

  “Now you’ve upset, Astrid,” Zelda yelled at Danny, who like myself had not spoken.

  “Hi Serge,” she turned my way surprising me with the breathy sigh in her voice. Her anger with Danny washed away for a moment.

  “Hi Zelda,” a prepubescent voice squeaked from my throat.

  “Marco, watch them,” her eyes back on Danny, the anger back in her voice. I heard heavy footsteps come up from behind us, “Marco is my bodyguard, so don’t try anything.” A breathy smile back at me, and she was gone, running to the main house yelling out apologies to Astrid with Louisa crying and clinging to her chest.

  “I’m the caretaker. I don’t know why she said that. I’m Marco. What’s going on here?”

  I almost fell to the grassy ground with laughter, convulsions filled my body as I took in the size and stature of Marco. He stood well over six feet tall, a bronzed tattooed man the size of a bull.

  ”Hi Marco, I’m Danny, Louisa’s father,” he held out his hand to him, “This is Serge.”

  “What’s up with the train hate?” I tried to get a hold of my laughter as Danny looked my way with an embarrassed shake of the head.

  “They spent a couple months traveling across Europe on trains. Something happened in Bucharest. They don’t like to talk about it,” Marco shrugged and with that his intimidating exterior faded into familiar beach culture friendliness.

  “Danny, there are only two reasons that you could have come here for,” Zelda stomped back alone her arms crossed, her voice bellowing like an actress trying to reach the back row.

  “One would be to apologize. Apology accepted, please go. Two would be to take my Louisa away. I am perfectly capable of traveling without Astrid,” she stopped and stood but did not lower her voice. “Louisa’s birth certificate still lists Paolo as her father.” She paused and exhaled a deep sigh as she looked at me.

  “You have no rights to her. I will take Louisa to the mountains of the Maldives, and you’ll never see us again if you don’t leave right now.” The tense posture back in place, she stared at Danny in a stern way.

  “Good try. Zelda. I appreciate a good alliteration, but the Maldives are flat, no mountains.” My voice freed itself, and I took a confident step her way.

  “I was using it as a literary device,” She looked downwards, her large dark eyes peeking up in a flirtatious way that had not been a part of her before.

  “That’s what I like best about you. You make things up as you go along, creative thinking.” Another manly step towards her.

  “Are you mad at me?”

  “I could never be mad at you, mush,” I whispered closing the space between us with an additional solid step.

  “Sorry to break up this love reunion,” said a clearly irritated and confused, but not a rabidly jealous Danny, “But we have to talk.”

  “Serge, are you in love with me?”

  Why yes I am, deeply and forever in love with you, from the beginning of time, to the end of time, I did not say. That was not my line and would have been unfair.

  “That would be a pain, Zelda,” I repeated my words from the day so long ago at The Tar Pits, “I’m not in love with you,” I put my lips against her ear taking her hand in mine, “I just want to fuck you hard, but I know that won’t happen, so don’t worry.”

  “I don’t mind when you say that...” she squeezed my hand.

  “Zelda, I’m not here to take Louisa. I want to be a part of her life. I’m not taking anyone anywhere,” Danny’s voice echoed as if far away.

  “I’ll think about it. I have something to show, Serge. We’ll be right back.” She linked her arm through mine and led me to the storage shed.

  “Serge... I’ve wanted to give this to you... I should have sent it... I didn’t know if I would ever see you again...” She dug through a plastic bin I had helped her carry down from the large stacks of bins because she would not let go of my hand, “I’m sorry Serge.” She lifted out a long cashmere scarf with embroidered silver stripes.

  My heart grew beyond the cage of my chest as she wrapped the shawl around my neck. She put her hands on my cheeks as we had stood like so many other times in our life. She had not forgotten.

  “No apologies, Zelda,” I put my hands around her waist, my palm in the small of her back, pulling her closer, “We have to talk... Danny...” Her lips landed upon mine with a kiss.

  “Zelda...” I took a breath, wanting to talk to her.

  “I know, Serge...” A peck on my lips, a fire in her eyes, “He’s here, you brought him here... I understand. You think he should be in Louisa’s life... Always thinking of others, but now is our time.”

  “Zelda, he brought me to you...” I shocked myself by saying, the implication of what it meant, clear.

  “What?” Her head jerked backwards, “I suppose that’s the least of what he could have done, for all the things he said. He cut our game short, Serge.”

  “We have to talk about...”

  “Serge,” a stern look passed over her face, ”I do understand, whether he brought you here, or you brought him here. He is here to be in Louisa’s life. I understand, and I will make the rules.”

  I tried to speak, but she shushed me.

  “And now you will kiss me.”

  “You miss the game, Zelda?” I would not be with her long. I decided our time would be spent her way.

  “I would like it for a few days.” She softened in my arms, and I kissed her for a very long time.

  We released our held hands as we walked through the front door of her home. Danny sat on the floor, Louisa asleep in his lap. He didn’t notice us at first, so entranced he was with his daughter’s hair, running his fingers through it. Zelda whispered to him as she gently lifted Louisa off his lap and carried her upstairs.

  I sat down on the washed out white denim sofa, sank into more than sat down. Comfort was a way of life for her, a life I would never share with her. I didn’t think about that while I stared off at the staircase and waited for her to come back down.

  I felt Danny watching me, observing me, as I would feel for the whole of my time on the island with them. I ignored it because there were more interesting things to focus on, like the way Zelda’s long and delicate hand held the banister as she walked slowly down the stairs. She sat down beside me and curled her long legs underneath her. I breathed in her musky floral scent, no more roses for her.

  “I don’t know where to start.” She didn’t waste time, as if this meeting between them was a burden she wanted out of the way, “The phrase “fuck bag of orifices” rings through my mind all the time. I don’t know which was worse, you wanting to do that to me, or you thinking that it would work, as if I hadn’t gained any life skills in all these years. I won’t go back to that proverbial alley with you Danny.”

  Fuck bag of orifices rang through my head too Zelda. I stood up because I knew Danny must die, “Not telling me the words was the best decision you ever made...” and I would be the one to end his life.

  She reached up and pulled me back down to the sofa forcefully, “Serge, you’re making this take longer than it should. Don’t you want to be with me? I’m fine, Serge... I’m not as fragile as you think,” I sat back down, but kept my eye on Danny.

  “I think we should talk alone.”

  “Serge, said I could say anything to him. He stays here with me.,” she put her head on my shoulder, and the anger inside of me floated away.

  “Saying I’m sorry would never be enough,” Danny shook his head as if he were our father, his eyes not meeting mine only Zelda’s, “I lost my mind. I’ll spend the rest of my life here with you and Louisa or anywhere you want, however you want it making it all right again. I’m here to be a part of Louisa’s life. I’m her father. You’re her mother. I’ll do whatever you want to make it work.”

  “How long are you here for?” I was glad she asked because obvi
ous questions were not something I could form in my thoughts.

  “Serge, goes back Wednesday morning. I’m staying Zelda. I’m not going back.”

  “I don’t want you to go home. I don’t want the game to end.” She turned to me and said.

  “That’s all the time we have.”

  “Does it have to be that way?” I kissed her to silence, the question that should not be asked.

  “Enough of this middle school puppy love. We need to talk,” Danny's voice boomed into our world of two, reminding me but not her, why we were not meant to be.

  “It’s really more high school,” I was lost in her eyes, her very presence.

  “Serge, it’s more casual than that,” her head moved closer to mine, her mouth slightly open, ready for a kiss.

  “This is the only thing I’m going to ask of you, Zelda. Please don’t do this in front of me. It’s hard.”

  “Fair enough,” we adjusted our positions, not an easy task because the sofa we were sitting on felt like a marshmallow, “Hotel living isn’t what you think it would be. You should look for a house nearby if living here is really your plan.”

  “My only plan was to bring Serge to you. No more plans.”

  Her head snapped his way, surprised. I sensed she had no idea what was going on. I didn’t have much of an idea either.

  “People aren’t objects to give, but thank you.” She leaned forward and spoke in an uncharacteristically serious way, “I have a plan. You’re here for Louisa? On one hand, I’m happy that you came here to be with her. It should always have been that way. On the other hand, you have a darkness in you. I don’t want you to control Louisa. She’s not me.”

  Danny opened his mouth perhaps to defend himself, but she held up her hand to stop him.

  “Here’s what we’ll do. You take Louisa, Astrid and Marco back to the hotel with you and leave Serge here with me. Astrid and Marco will keep an eye on you. Louisa will sleep in Astrid’s room. I’m warning you Danny. Marco is the leader of a very violent gang here on the North Shore. I wouldn’t like to be you, if you got out of line.” I flicked her nose gently, the charm of her tall tales took my mind off the implausibility of all of it, “We’ll come and spend the days with you at the hotel. Okay?”

  “I only have one room,” Danny dumbly said, both of us unused to Zelda taking control.

  “Parenting is about solutions. Get two more rooms.” She took my hand and pulled me up off the sofa.

  “Come with me, Serge. I want to show you my home... We have to find Astrid, too... tell her the plan, and have her get Louisa’s things together.”

  “This is the kitchen, such a mess when we moved in...” She opened the swinging door to a stark white fully equipped very modern kitchen with every amenity. Funny for someone who had made it her life’s work to never cook beyond a few sickeningly sweet baked goods.

  “This is the laundry room...” She carried on dragging me through her home with pride explaining all the upgrades and remodeling she had done in the previous six months.

  I didn’t say much as we walked through her home beyond “good job” and “cozy." Danny trailed behind us asking technical questions, talking about her smart decisions in maximizing the space, the quality of amenities. Zelda ignored him completely.

  Walking up the stairs, she told us about the long wait for the ornately carved banister she had ordered from Bali, and how it had been locked in customs for weeks. A story Danny found funny, and he told his own story about sinks for his house in Malibu that had also been stuck in customs. Zelda shook her head and let out an exasperated sigh as if she were bored with his input. I didn’t mind him so much.

  She shouted out packing instructions to Astrid as we walked down the long and very wide hallway. The house was like a dreamscape where the farther you went, the larger it became. I didn’t listen to her very specific instructions. I was distracted by the row of rosewood-framed drawings along the wall. She had framed the stick figure sketches I had sent her while she was in Paris, and they had been colored in, I assumed by the lack of respect for the actual lines by Louisa. Danny followed my eye line to the wall and the breath of pain from him was audible.

  I wanted to apologize, but he straightened his posture and I suppose his mindset as I looked to him. He nodded his head in a way that was stronger than any words he could have uttered. All of this, the standing in the hall with me by her side and not him, the depth of it on his broad shoulders.

  “Danny, could you run downstairs and let Marco know of our plans? Thanks,” she grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room with a hard slam of the door before he could answer.

  “Why does he follow us around?” her arms were around me and her lips were on mine before I could summon an answer.

  I lifted my head to take in her boundless beauty, the sensuous pout of her lips to see the framed drawing I had sent her of the two of us as children on the round bamboo table by her bed. Everywhere, I was in her life. “Let’s go Zelda,” I got up off the bed.

  “Okay,” she replied with a quizzical look in her eyes.

  …

  Zelda pulled me into the shop while Danny was at the front desk arranging for the additional rooms. She murmured in her excited way my outfit was a failure and asked why Danny and I were wearing matching ones. I didn’t really answer, more making small jokes.

  “Serge, this shirt is perfect...” She held up a grey polo, “Try it on...”

  “I’m good Zelda, I like this t-shirt,” I pointed to my lime green t-shirt that prominently displayed the garish hotel logo, “Cozy, soft... I’m only here for a couple of days. No need for a new wardrobe.”

  “Hey, there you are… Louisa, Astrid and Marco are out by the pool. The rooms are taken care of, set up,” Danny shambled into the store. Zelda looked as if I had slapped her. “Shopping, good idea, one t-shirt and a pair of shorts won’t last the week bro.” He looked through a rack as Zelda continued to stare at me.

  “Serge...” she whispered loudly, “What’s wrong? You’ve barely said anything to me. Why do you keep saying you’re leaving? Do you not want to be with me?”

  “Zelda… Shhhh.” I glanced Danny’s way wanting to assure our privacy, which by this point with all of us laid bare was ridiculous but still a human impulse.

  “Hey Zelda, what do you think of this?” he held up a black t-shirt with a surf logo on the sleeve.

  “You always get too hot in black shirts,” she distractedly said to him, “Serge talk to me,” she whispered to me in a lower voice.

  “Yeah you’re right,” he grabbed the same t-shirt in washed out blue and picked up a pair of matching blue board shorts, ‘What about these, Zelda?” he held them up high for her to see.

  “They’re elastic waist. That always annoys you. Find a pair with a Velcro closure, you’ll be more comfortable.” She took my arm and led me to the far end of the small tourist shop.

  “Did Danny hit his head? Is he okay? Why does he keep asking me about things he doesn’t like?” She asked with a confused shake of her head, “I don’t understand... Serge... More importantly… why are you acting like this?”

  “He wants you to remember that you know him,” I took her hands in mine and forced a smile, “I’m overwhelmed by your beauty. I don’t know if I’ve ever told you before, but you’re very attractive Zelda.”

  “Well of course, I know him... foolish,” she laughed a little, but her eyes remained suspicious, “You think I’m beautiful? I’m not surprised,” she squeezed my hands, “Everything is okay?”

  “I’m just a little jet-lagged, woke up too early... time change,” I kissed the tip of her nose and checked on Danny to make sure he wasn’t looking our way, “Feeling better now? I’ll give the constant attention you crave, don’t worry about that.”

  “I crave it from you,” she smiled believing my words I didn’t understand. I needed to take a nap, get my head together, “Let’s go to the pool,”

  …

  I woke up on the lounge
under the cabana after how long of a nap I don’t know. “I’ve been waiting for you to wake-up for so long, Serge. I’m so hungry. Shall we go to the snack shop and get some sweets?”

  “Good idea, let me flag down the barmaid,” Danny said.

  “No thanks,” Zelda responded with a roll of the eyes. The idea of Danny being a supreme annoyance to her caused me to laugh.

  I held out my hand to her to help her out of the chaise. She stood up beside me, probably a little close for Danny’s liking.

  “Hey Serge,” he called out to me, “She’s good on water.” He held up a bottle from the half dozen that I had ordered earlier as a joke.