Hating Christmas (Holiday Series)

by Carol Rose

  Levi threw her a startled look, his words going soft. “Really? Your dad died during the holidays? I knew Audrey was a widow, but that’s all I knew. He actually died at Christmas?”

  She took a deep breath. “Yes. Yes, he did.”

  Suddenly, he understood why she didn’t enjoy the season any more than he did.

  Her smile was crooked. “Kind of puts all this ridiculous mistletoe and excessive shopping into a different perspective.”

  “How old were you?” He didn’t know why his words were quieter. There was certainly no need to worry about anyone overhearing their conversation. The timing of Holly’s father’s death certainly wouldn’t be a surprise for Audrey, even if their parents could hear their conversation from the kitchen.

  “I was nine, at the time,” Holly responded, her gaze level.

  He wasn’t a huggy, touch-y person typically, but Levi felt an overpowering urge to reach over and draw her close.

  “I’d guess that would put a damper on the holiday silliness.” He looked toward the kitchen door. “It doesn’t seem to have turned your mother off Christmas.”

  “No, it doesn’t.” She followed his glance. “I don’t get it, either, but my mother seems to have thrown herself even more into the insanity surrounding these holidays.”

  “Probably trying to ‘be normal’ and make it up to you,” he guessed.

  The glance she threw him was surprised.

  Shrugging, he said, “That’s probably how I would have felt---you know, make it easier for the kid even if I didn’t like the holiday myself?”

  “Maybe.” She looked down at her hands in her lap. “Nothing could do that, though. I was a child and everyone was all happy and partying while my dad was dying. It didn’t make any sense. I didn’t understand that sometimes people die. I’m not sure I still get it. I mean I know we all die, but it doesn’t really make sense to me, if you get what I mean.”

  “I know. What did your dad die of?” It was a personal question, Levi knew, but sitting here by the fire with her seemed intimate somehow.

  “Cancer. A rare form of lung cancer. Even though he’d never smoked in his life, he died of lung cancer.” Holly grimaced at him. “Try explaining that to your nine year-old friends. To any of your friends, actually, regardless of how old you are. It doesn’t make a lot of sense.”

  He shook his head. “How did you get through it?”

  Releasing another big sigh, she said, “I have a really great mom—her Christmas hysteria aside—and we just learned to go on living…but to her sadness, I never lost my aversion to the holidays.”

  Getting up again, to poke at the logs in the fireplace, his mind shot through a montage of all the great times with his dad.

  “Geez,” he said sitting back down in the chair across from her, “you missed out on having a dad. That’s sad. No one to play ball with you or give you piggy back rides.”

  Holly laughed softly. “Well, I did get some of that stuff before he got sick. Piggy back rides and a few seasons of softball…my mother still tells of my father’s amusement and dismay when I sat down in the outfield during a game.”

  Levi gave a bark of laughter. “That must have been funny.”

  “In my defense, it was a night game and I was only five.”

  “My dad would have lost it, if I’d have done that,” he admitted, realizing that his change of subject had only tightened the pull between him and Holly.

  He felt even more attracted to her and he couldn’t help remembering that heated kiss in the snow. Hell, they had two great kisses in the snow. Made him wonder what kissing her in a warmer locale would be like.

  What she was trying to do with Mac Toledo and her African documentary was wrong, but that didn’t mean he could deny his own attraction to her or his thoughts of sneaking into her bedroom that night.

  He shouldn’t be here. Shouldn’t have to imagine her breathing as she slept just down the hall from him. Shouldn’t have to listen to her laugh, that got him itchy, and shouldn’t have to think of her as a sweet, grieving nine year-old.

  Damn the entire Christmas season.

  * * * * * * * * *

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  Audrey bustled into the kitchen and Levi straightened from where he’d been looking out the window, waiting for the others to get ready for the Christmas party his father insisted would be fun.

  Wearing a red party dress, she carried a down coat over her arm.

  “Oh! Levi! You startled me.” She smiled, going to the refrigerator to remove a platter of decorated cookies.

  “You have a warm coat.” He nodded toward the one she carried.

  “Yes. As you can see, it’s blowing up cold out there.” Audrey put the platter on the table. “Your dad keeps saying I need a better coat for our evenings out.”

  Her laugh was indulgent. “Like we go to a lot of parties. This is fine for going to a restaurant for supper occasionally and our friends certainly don’t care what I wear when we go somewhere to play cards. Besides, I wouldn’t want one of those mink things he keeps talking about. Think about the little animals that died for those coats.”

  Levi couldn’t help smiling. “I can see where Holly gets her awareness of social issues.”

  His step-mother shrugged into her long down coat, shaking her head. “Holly’s much more socially-conscious than me, I’m afraid. I just couldn’t wear those pelts on my back and not think of the little animals who grew the fur.”

  “Your down coat looks warm and you’re right, it does look cold out there.” It struck him at that moment that his dad’s last wife, Rebecca, wouldn’t have been caught dead in something that made her look so dowdy.

  Audrey smiled at him again. “Come on in here by the fire while you wait. We wouldn’t want you to start the evening chilly. You can enjoy the Christmas tree, too.”

  Following her into the living room, Levi considered that he might have been wrong about his father’s marriage. What kind of golddigger got upset when a man bought her a cruise for Christmas and didn’t see the need for an evening coat?

  He hated being wrong almost as much as he didn’t like Christmas hoopla, but a man needed to own up to his errors. Maybe Audrey was everything his dad said. Holly still disliked their marriage and Levi registered that he liked him and Holly working together toward a goal. It made them a team and he liked the connection, even if the issue of Mac and the documentary still stood squarely between them. Hell, he’d like to be more connected with Holly.

  ***

  Christmas Eve stayed cloudy with light snow falling as Holly followed her mother down the steps into the VFW hall, where the annual Social Club met. It seemed odd to have a party scheduled so close to Christmas when people usually spent time last minute preparations for their big celebrations or visited with their families—not always a happy experience, Holly knew—but the Social Club members were of the older generation. Most didn’t have youngsters in the area, her mother had explained. In this era of divided and scattered families, it gave the members a place to celebrate.

  Holly tried to overlook the cheesy plastic decorations on the club door and focus on her mother’s enjoyment. She had to admit that she and Levi hadn’t made much progress toward breaking up their parents’ mistaken marriage and that she had a disquieting mix of feelings about it now. Michael might have been a nasty surprise to her and the marriage may have happened so fast it couldn’t have been thought out, but she couldn’t deny that he seemed to have genuine affection for her mother.

  If only she could believe that this wouldn’t end badly. There were bound to be disquieting discoveries when her mother and Michael hadn’t seen one another since high school. He could be a weirdo or a swinger or something. She made a mental note that she should Google him.

  The VFW hall occupied the basement of a local bar and while the room was moderately warm after the chilly outside, it had a battered wood floor that looked like it had seen better days and dark corners where blankets were thrown over oddly-sh
aped piles of what could only be storage. In addition to the tables of food, smaller tables were set out for playing cards, eating and resting—presumably—between turns on the dance floor.

  Her mother bore a platter of beautifully-decorated cookies, crossing the party room to place them alongside other plates of goodies on the long tables to the side.

  Thank goodness her mom had reminded her about the Social Club party before she packed for this trip. Looking around, Holly could see this was the event of the season for some partiers. Most were dressed to the nines.

  The hall held a biggish dance floor off to the side. The smaller tables were already filling up quickly, but Holly headed to the coat racks first. Hanging her coat, she soon became aware of Levi beside her, having followed behind her to the racks with his dad. He stood next to her, putting his expensive cashmere overcoat on the hanger next to hers.

  “Nice dress.” He gave her a sideways glance. “Very retro. Very nineteen-fifties.”

  Holly glanced down at her magenta pink, full-skirted party dress and said smugly, “Thanks. That’s what I was going for.”

  “Leaves a lot to the imagination…and yet not.” He looked at her in a way that made her feel warm before he turned away.

  Holly had taken one glance in the mirror when she’d tried the dress on at the store and had known it was hers. Levi’s comment was accurate. The snug bodice showed off her curves and had a jewel-neck with short, fitted sleeves. This was a conservative group, for the most part, and the only skin her dress revealed was her arms and bare legs below the knee. It had a little fifties Mad Men thing going and looked as hip as the women on that cable show.

  “You look pretty good yourself,” she murmured to Levi as they drifted through the tables toward the dance floor.

  A full band of older guys was set up in the corner and they were playing a mix of Christmas songs and old standards. Mixed in with a few eighties ballads were some seventies standards and the occasional song from the fifties and sixties.

  “Thanks.” Levi pulled down his jacket sleeve and bowed slightly. “Care to dance?”

  “Certainly.” She tucked her slim Tory Burch evening purse in the palm of her left hand and let him spin her onto the dance floor.

  He danced well, which didn’t surprise her.

  Across the room, she could see her mother and step-father greeting a group of friends, chattering away as if they hadn’t seen them for weeks.

  “I liked that kiss.”

  Her attention jerked away from the group of old folks, Holly looked up into Levi’s face. His gaze felt intent and she wasn’t sure where to look.

  “Mmmm. I’m glad,” she said finally. “You’ll never be a sledding champ, but you kiss pretty good.”

  His shoulders shook with laughter. “Of the two, I think I prefer the latter.”

  He danced like a man who loved women. She registered the thought as Levi moved against her easily. You couldn’t be sure about a thing like that these days, but that kiss had confirmed her very strong impression. He was as good to look at as he was to kiss. He held her firmly, pulling her close. Her fingers lightly resting on his broad shoulder, she tried not to think of how much she’d enjoyed kissing him, too. The jacket beneath her fingers looked to have been expensive and well-made and she tried to think about how much money he’d spent on it.

  Vulture. A really well-built, attractive vulture, but still out for what he could get with no conscience or regard for the good of man-kind. She needed to keep reminding herself of that fact.

  With his hand warm on her back and their bodies close, Holly reflected that it was a real pity she disliked Levi so much. Well, she didn’t dislike him actually, but she disliked that he was so focused on Mac Toledo’s success—and his own income—that he couldn’t see the importance of her project. He was so hot…so attractive that when she didn’t want to beat him at sledding or wrestle out of him his agreement to let Mac Do her film, she found herself thinking about seeing him naked.

  Drawing in a breath, Holly made herself think of hungry children.

  Across the room, she could see her mother and Michael sitting at a table with several friends in the better-lit eating area.

  “Do you know what’s happening in Zambia?” Her question was abrupt.

  Levi cocked an eyebrow at her sudden question since they’d been dancing in silence, just the sound of the music and their breath between them. “Only what I’ve seen on the news.”

  “People are starving there.”

  “I imagine they are. According to the news reports, the situation in most of Africa isn’t good.”

  The dance floor held a few other couples, shuffling to the rhythm with hush-hush sounds. She felt his dark gaze on her face, almost as if he touched her. Holly breathed in the clean smell of him and tried to disconnect from the feel of his hand on her ribcage.

  “The HIV crisis is massive. It’s hardest to see the sick children.” Holly tried not to be so aware of the brush of his thigh against hers; the way he held her close and smelled so good.

  “I imagine so.”

  “That’s why this film is so important. Why we can’t let people forget the terrible conditions there.”

  “Mmmm. True. Why do you think I don’t care?”

  She looked up to meet his gaze. “They need food and medicine.”

  “I know. They have many needs in Zambia. You’re very passionate about this, aren’t you?” He tilted his head a little as if to see her better in the shadowy light.

  “Yes.” Holly couldn’t keep the husky note out of her voice.

  “Haven’t you ever wanted to make other films?” he ask. “More commercial projects? I’ve seen several of your films. The documentary you made a few years back on Asian women and their children? Very impressive. You do good work. A little humor runs through the serious subjects. It’s very well done. Haven’t you ever thought about shifting your focus some?”

  “Of course, I have. There are just a lot of things that need to be brought to light.” She knew she let some of her impatience with his question seep into the words. “It can’t always be Saturday night at the movies. There are serious issues in this world.”

  “Sure there are, but we also need time to relax and have fun. To sled and get beat by beautiful, sexy women.” It was a low comment.

  She looked up at him and Levi smiled at her, so near that she could have reached up and kissed him right then. Holly looked away, struggling not to succumb to her urge. Making out with her mother’s new husband’s son on the dance floor was not a good idea…even if it sounded really good at that moment.

  They were here for a different purpose than to succumb to a mistletoe moment. Not only were they supposedly both committed to breaking up their parents’ foolish marriage, they also lived very different lives.

  Suddenly, Holly saw her mother bustling over to them. Back in the café section of the room beyond her mom, she could see several people standing around a dark-haired gentleman that she remembered having seen going into the house next to her mom’s.

  “Steve’s not feeling well.” Audrey announced when she arrived in front of them, looking concerned. “You know, Margery’s husband? They’re our neighbors. Steve had a heart attack last year and we’re going with them to the hospital. He’s feeling some tightness in his chest and Margery’s a wreck with worry. You and Levi go on home and we’ll be there whenever we can.”

  “Okay.” Having moved out of Levi’s embrace when her mother came up to them, Holly reached out to place an arm around her mom. “You’re sure you don’t need us to come along?”

  “No, darling.” Her mom smiled at her reassuringly. “It’s almost Christmas. Most people are celebrating with their families. Hopefully the ER won’t be too busy and this will be nothing. But with Steve’s history, we can’t ignore his chest pains. We’re just going along to be with Margery. I hope we’ll be home by midnight or so.”

  “That’s a good idea.” Levi stood next to them. “Do they have
family they want called?”

  “No, Steve said he didn’t want anyone in their family to worry about this, in case it’s nothing.”

  “If there was ever a season for a heart attack, Mom, this is it,” Holly added. “Holiday stress.”

  “Hush, sweetie.” Her mother said, giving Levi a key ring before patting his arm. “Here are the keys to your dad’s car. Just put it in the garage.”

  Holly couldn’t help saying in a teasing tone, “I don’t know, mom. Maybe you’d better give them to me. I mean, with his record at driving in the snow….”

  ***

  In the shelter of the fenced back yard, Holly pushed back the hot tub cover and climbed up to step down into its steamy water. She shook her robe off her shoulders quickly in the chilly air and dropped it on the pavement near the steps, sinking into the warm water.

  The ride back from the VFW Hall had been absent of any traffic mishaps. Successful, but quiet. Not feeling like teasing Levi anymore about his bumping into her with his rent car, she couldn’t seem to find anything to say. Her mind kept returning to his body brushing hers on the dance floor as they danced. Riding home alone with him seemed intimate. After her mom and Michael had left with their friends, she’d danced several more songs with Levi, but they hadn’t said much then either.

  She just kept thinking about that kiss and the way his lips had been warm and mobile beneath hers.

  Holly drew a deep breath as she sank back in the hot tub now, blowing out a little puff in the frosty air. Sitting on the acrylic seat, she swiveled around to start the bubbles. The water started swirling around her, pulsing against her back and arms as she leaned against the tub, letting her head fall back against rim. Snow piled around the small deck surrounding the hot tub and she huddled under the water to keep the cold air away.

  Eyes closed, she saw no reason not to let herself think about schtupping Levi. Alone in the water, she fantasized about pinning him to the floor and kissing him for all she was worth. Images of his hard body, tight buns and thick thighs flooded her brain. Not to mention his laugh. The man had a wicked laugh.