Hating Christmas (Holiday Series)

by Carol Rose

  “Holly,” he said, his eyes filled with gentle concern. “I—I don’t know—I’m surprised—“

  She smiled at him and shook her head. “Nothing. I’m not asking anything. This has been the most wonderful Christmas of my life. Perfect, really. I know that having really hot sex with you—“

  “Really hot sex.”

  “—doesn’t give me any rights and it doesn’t mean any more than just that,” she finished. She’d done a lot of thinking when she was upstairs putting on her mother’s snow boots. She loved him and that meant she wanted the best for him, that was why she’d called Mac. But loving Levi didn’t mean he owed her anything.

  Shaking her head, she gave him a smile. “This Christmas has been filled with great sex and wonderful laughter and…and you’ve even been nice to my mom.”

  She ripped off her glove and wiped at her suddenly-moist eyes. “I know we’ve both been worried about our parents’ marrying so quickly, but you came here and you really saw my mom. Saw her for the nice person she is. That means a lot. You know your dad is safe with her and…and I think maybe she’s okay with him.”

  Levi put his gloved hand on her shoulder. “Holly.”

  “Don’t you understand? Understand that I’ve gotten a lot from you already?” She brushed at her face again. Holly smiled at him through her tears. “Hey, you’ve entrusted your safety to me, sledding down this dangerous hill. Not many men would do that with a woman they just met.”

  “Holly.” His face looked troubled.

  ***

  “Here,” her mom shoved some potatoes and carrots toward Holly. “Chop these up for the soup.”

  “Where’s Michael? Is that him I hear in the living room?” She glanced at her mom.

  “Yes, he’s watching some of the bowl games on television.” Audrey smirked. “Of course, he told me that the fire needed to be cleaned up and restarted, but I’m guessing the football game is the real reason he has to be in there.”

  Audrey added some spices to the kettle of water. “At least, I think it’s a bowl game. Do they start this quickly after Christmas? I never know.”

  “I have no idea, either.” Holly positioned several carrots together and began chopping them. Her declaration of love had certainly seemed to take Levi by surprise. She found herself hoping it wouldn’t make the last few days of their Christmas visit awkward.

  She didn’t want that and she’d even hesitated to tell him about her feelings because of that—that and she wanted more mind-boggling sex with him. If she was being honest with herself.

  “Where’s Levi? In watching football with his dad?” She scooped up the chopped carrots and dumped them in the pan.

  Her mom looked up at her, saying after moment. “I believe he’s upstairs packing.”

  “Packing?” Holly put down her knife, her heart suddenly beating more rapidly. “Why? I thought he was flying out in a couple of days, like me.”

  Her mother looked back at the chopping board as she began cutting up a potato. “Apparently, something came up and he has to get back to California right away. Some kind of business deal.”

  “Oh.” It was over then, their winter idyll of playing in the snow and kissing at the bottom of the stairs. She knew it had to come, but the reality hit her harder than she expected.

  Drawing a potato towards her, Holly began mechanically chopping.

  “Sweetheart.” Her mom reached out and put her hand on Holly’s arm. “I know you’re an adult—and Levi’s business is no business of mine—but be careful how involved you get.”

  Holly looked at her mom.

  “You think there’s something between Levi and I?”

  “Oh, honey.” Her mother began chopping again. “Of course there’s something between you, two. I have no idea what, but I know he’s a heck of a good looking man—“

  “Mother!” Did they leave some telltale evidence? Oh, God, had her mother heard her crying out in pleasure?

  “—and you’re a very nice-looking woman. Nothing surprising about the two of you finding each other attractive.”

  “I don’t know what you think you’re picking up—“

  Her mom looked up at her steadily. “I’m not stupid, sweetie. You’ve got the hots for him—“

  “Mom!”

  “—and he seems just as interested in you.” Audrey went back to chopping.

  Looking down at the pile of chopped potatoes in front of her, she didn’t know what to say.

  Her mom scooped her chopped vegetables into the pot. “Before you plan a future with a man, you need to have some specific conversations.”

  “Levi and I don’t have a future, Mom.” Holly dried her hands on a nearby kitchen towel. “I don’t know what you think you’ve felt between us, but we’re not even dating. You even knew he was leaving. He didn’t say anything to me.”

  And they’d spent hours together, sledding down the hill…before she’d confessed her love to him. And now he was leaving. Well, that told her how he felt about her statement.

  “You said he had some business.” Her stomach was in a knot, but she tried to act normal.

  “Yes. He told his dad that one of his actors was offered a big movie deal or something.”

  Mac. This was probably Mac.

  Holly said, “Well…I’ll go up and tell him it was nice meeting him.”

  “Honey….” Her mother looked at her with concern.

  “Don’t worry, Mom,” she said, the smile she sent her mother feeling tight. “I’m okay.”

  And she was, Holly reflected as she left the kitchen. She and Levi had connected and had a wonderful Christmas here in the middle of all this snow. It was the last thing she expected when she flew here, and their first few run-ins had certainly not been auspicious.

  But she couldn’t regret meeting Levi—

  That moment locked in his arms at the bottom of the hill…. It all flashed through her head in a montage, like the end of some sappy romantic movie. His laughter. The way he’d pulled her to him in the hot tub that night, the way he’d had her calling out for Jesus when they lay naked in her bed later that night.

  His kisses, oh, his kisses.

  Holly wiped a tear from her cheek as she started up the stair.

  He’d really given her a wonderful gift. He was okay with her mother and his father and he’d made her feel more beautiful than ever in her life.

  She loved him and she needed him to know she was okay.

  * * * * * * * * *

  CHAPTER TEN

  Levi zipped his toiletry case closed, wondering again how to break the news to Holly. She’d said she loved him, but he didn’t think she’d still feel the same when she found out about Mac. He had no idea how to resolve that situation. It must be hard, making small documentaries. All the big names and big money in Hollywood had probably passed her projects by a hundred times. No wonder she’d dug in her heels when she got Mac on her line.

  Damn the good-looking idiot for signing a contract without Levi. She was the one who’d get hurt in this. This wasn’t going to end well and he was pretty sure Holly would end up with the fuzzy end of the lollipop, as Marilyn Monroe had said.

  Damn this situation and damn that he had to be the vulture she always called him. Going over to the old-fashioned chest of drawers, Levi glanced through the empty drawers, checking that he had everything.

  Behind him, his bedroom door opened and he turned quickly to see Holly close the door behind her. She leaned back on it, a tremulous smile on her face. “I hear you’re leaving tonight.”

  Levi looked at her a moment before putting the toiletry case in his bag, lying open on the bed. Struggling to find anything functional to say, he cleared his throat. “Yes. I have a situation I have to deal with immediately.”

  He hated this.

  “About a client?” She didn’t straighten from the door.

  “Yes.” Levi felt stiff, as if he’d been dipped in wet concrete. He didn’t like lying to her and this felt like lying.


  Holly stepped forward, her smile seeming to brighten. “It’s okay, Levi.”

  He glanced over quickly.

  “It’s okay,” she said again. “I knew this was a fling with us, even with what I said to you earlier. It’s really okay.”

  “I guess so….” Levi struggled to know what to say. A fling? This had been a fling for her? He wanted to strip her naked and show her just what a fling this was. He’d never felt anything like this for any other woman.

  But he had to put a knife into her back and that reality kept him standing beside the bed.

  Holly tilted her copper-colored head to the side. “Yes. Levi, I’m glad to have met you, to have made love with you. Everything.”

  She wandered a little further into the room, stopping to rest her hand on a small rocker before she looked up at him.

  “You don’t—hate me for leaving? For not asking for your number. Not making promises to stay in touch?” He couldn’t help asking her.

  She shook her head. “No, not really.”

  Levi struggled suddenly with annoyance that he was of so little importance to her. How many man had she told she loved them?

  “Okay.” Zipping his suitcase, he realized his irritation didn’t make a lot of sense. He should have been relieved.

  Holly said, “Hey, you have a lot of irons in the fire. You have a life and we didn’t make promises to each other. You might even have a girlfriend with flexible views on monogamy. We didn’t ask each other if we were dating other people.”

  “I’m not.” The words were clipped as he lifted the suitcase off the bed and set it on the floor with a snap. “Dating anyone else.”

  It was a stupid thing to say. She’d just let him off the hook and he should have run with it. Looking at her standing there, a bright curl against her cheek, and all Levi wanted to do was kiss her silly and pull her down to make love on the bedspread of her mother’s guest bedroom. He knew he couldn’t. She was being cool and adult about this and he needed to be, too.

  They were back to business and business meant he had to sue her to get Mac released from her contract. The thought made him sick to his stomach.

  He knew he had more resources, knew he could crush her. Knew that doing his job meant that he would crush her. “Holly, I hate this--”

  The words were out of his mouth before he realized it. The sensation was new for Levi. He normally thought before he spoke, keeping his cool in every situation.

  But dammit, she’d said she loved him and he thought—he knew—she meant more to him than a casual fling.

  He looked up. “Are you? Dating someone?”

  She shook her head, suddenly sniffling back tears he hadn’t seen before. “No, but that doesn’t mean I feel like you owe me anything. Levi, that’s why I came up here. I wanted to give you my permission to leave, not that you need it or anything. I just wanted to say it’s okay to move forward.”

  “What?”

  “To leave. I never asked for promises from you. I never offered any. It’s all right.” Her smile seemed to brighten. “Do what you have to do. You have a business to get back to and I have to get on with my work.”

  He felt his gaze narrow on her face. “Why are you trying to make this so easy for me? After what you said this morning. You called me a vulture. You know you and I are at odds.”

  “Well,” she swallowed hard before saying, “that was before. Before I got to know you. Because of what I said this morning, Levi, I need you to know…. You may not realize it, but you’ve added a lot to my life, just in these few days.”

  He stared at her.

  Putting up her hand, she said, “Don’t worry. I know that this thing between you and I has been, has been wonderful, but it was just a holiday fling for you—for us both at first. That night in the hot tub was…wonderful, and all the other times, too. I’ve had a wonderful Christmas holiday.”

  She laughed. “I would never have thought I’d say that, but this has been wonderful with you. Not just the sex, but we laughed together and schemed together and you didn’t act like my feelings about this season were stupid.”

  Levi swallowed. He’d loved all those things, too. The bickering and their shared dislike of all the Christmas hoop-la. In so many ways, Holly fit him….and here she was, not throwing a hissy because he hadn’t asked for her number. Hadn’t made her promises.

  Even though she said she loved him.

  With a sudden clarity, he realized he wanted all that with her and more, but the whole Mac thing weighed too heavily.

  And here he’d been planning to sneak away in the night with barely a “see you” before running off.

  “Don’t you know? You’ve been…amazing. Not just sexually, although that’s mind-blowing.” She crinkled her nose at him then. “I can’t get upset because you’re leaving. I just wanted to say, well, you’ve added a lot to my life. You came here as determined as me to end our parents’ marriage, but even though you hated your last step-mother and she screwed your dad over, you—you came to realize in these few days, that my mother is different. She’s pretty terrific.”

  “She is, but—“

  “Given the whole bad step-mother thing you had before, it’s amazing you’re giving her a chance.” Holly smiled again. “You and I came here to split them up. That was what we both needed. To end this whole reconciled teenagers thing they have going, and then you realized my mom’s not so bad, just like I realized your dad’s not so bad.”

  “But Holly….”

  “And they’ll neither one be happy if one of their kids hate each other.” She looked up at him. “Actually—and I’ll deny this if you tell anyone—but I haven’t hated this Christmas. It’s been—it’s actually been pretty great.”

  “I haven’t hated it, either.” His throat felt clogged. Levi swallowed and stared at her. He needed to get a grip, needed to get the hell out of here. She was beautiful, naked or clothed, but he had to remember everything he’d been working so hard for.

  Holly took a few steps toward him, reaching up to kiss him quickly on his mouth. “Have a great trip home, Levi.”

  ***

  Dropping his carry-on into the plastic seats facing the tarmac, Levi fished his phone out of his pocket. Slipping away from his father’s and Audrey’s ought to have been a relief, but his feelings for Holly had complicated everything.

  Hell, he’d struggled not to grab her when she reached up to kiss him. Grab her and press hot kisses on her lips. The woman knew they were locked in a war, she and he, and she knew that as far as resources, he was Goliath to her David.

  Sitting there on the chilly plastic seat, he realized that he couldn’t go through with it. No matter what it cost him, he couldn’t trash Holly and her documentary with Mac. Damn, he didn’t know how it happened, but he’d fallen for her, too.

  Love. He loved her. He couldn’t do this, go on as if it was business as usual.

  His options flicked through his mind. Screwing Holly over wasn’t a choice for him, but he had to do something with this situation. He had some responsibility to Mac, having been the guy’s agent for four years.

  Staring out into the blackness on the other side of the airport window, he knew what he had to do. He’d call Mac and tell him the news, but after that he’d bow out. With this kind of offer on the table—even with the complication of Mac’s signed contract with Holly—he’d be able to find another agent easily. Hell, if it came to it, Levi would make a few calls for him.

  It was clear to him, though, that he was out. He couldn’t live with himself if he counseled Mac to sue Holly.

  Levi flicked through the Contacts list in his phone and pressed the screen when Mac’s name rolled up.

  Holly had sent him off without a hint of her initial hostility. If he hadn’t had a realistic view of himself, he’d have thought he screwed her into compliance. But Holly didn’t work that way. He realized just then how much respect he had for the woman. He had to give it to her, tell him of her love had been ballsy.
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  Dammit, he couldn’t help Mac sue her. She wasn’t just another deal that had to be handled.

  For a moment, Levi let himself remember how he’d felt handling Holly, kissing her and driving into her soft body.

  He drew in a deep breath and then blew it out, pushing his finger against the number on his phone. After a few rings, it picked up.

  “Hey! Levi, man, how are you doing?”

  Mac sounded upbeat and unconcerned. Levi wasn’t unconcerned, but he felt a lot better knowing he wasn’t going to take part in messing up Holly’s plans.

  The concourse was empty of other travelers, clearly no one wanting to travel on the day after Christmas. Levi shifted in his plastic chair.

  “Mac, I got a call about the Voyager project.” Levi tried to stop himself from grinning. No matter how the mess with Mac played out, he was going to get to kiss Holly again—at least he hoped so. “Mac, you got the gig, man. They want you to be ready to shoot in May of next year.”

  “Wow! Really? The Voyager film? I didn’t even know you were working that one. OMG! That’ll be the blockbuster of the year—whenever it comes out. Have they said?”

  Wincing at the sudden shouting in his ear, Levi got up from the airport chair and walked absently to the window. He pretty much had the place to himself. “No. It’s too soon to schedule a release.”

  Outside the window, a large jet was being de-iced.

  “Good grief,” Mac said, lapsing into his Midwestern-speak. “I can’t believe it. Wait till I call my mom. She’ll go nuts.”

  “Congratulations,” Levi offered. “The director is looking forward to working with you.”

  “Wait—you said we’re shooting in May?”

  He could hear Mac take a drink of something.

  “Yes, is that a problem? The warrior movie isn’t supposed to start until later in the year. I don’t think we’ve got a conflict.” He knew it was a problem. Holly’s documentary was scheduled to film then.

  It occurred to him then that he knew some pretty powerful people in Hollywood. Maybe if he called in a butt-load of favors, he could get the people in charge of the Voyager film to make some sort of scheduling adjustment for Holly’s documentary. If nothing else, he could foot the bill for any expenses she might have in the scheduling change.