Demons in My Driveway

by R. L. Naquin

  Despite my attempt at subtlety and quiet, the vampire waved his hand at me, dismissing my concerns. “I only need a moment to readjust. I’m not some kid off the streets, you know. I’m the patriarch of all vampires.”

  He murmured something to Talia, and she ran into the house. She reemerged carrying a small jar of Vicks VapoRub. “Thank you, darling,” he said. He unscrewed the lid, then dabbed a little of the eucalyptus-scented ointment across his upper lip. After a deep breath, he smiled, and his fangs retracted. “There, you see? Good as new.”

  I’d read somewhere—or maybe I’d seen it on television—that cops and coroners sometimes used the same method to mask odors at especially gruesome crime scenes. It could all be bullshit, of course. Television was responsible for teaching me all sorts of things that were wrong.

  Papa Dino pulled himself from the rocking chair and strode across the porch to us.

  Riley grabbed my arm and pulled me a few steps back, and I didn’t resist. I had to admit, up to that point I’d enjoyed vampire movies and novels, and had always thought the idea of vampires was hot. But faced with the real deal, the idea of having my throat ripped out and my blood drained far outweighed any vague sexual fantasy I might have had. In fact, I kind of resented the loss of that particular fantasy.

  He stopped, realizing I was backpedaling to maintain the size of the gap between us. “I apologize for my...lapse in character,” he said. “I assure you, princess, I’m fine now. I had a four-egg omelet and a side of breakfast potatoes less than an hour ago. I’m not really hungry, and I haven’t had human blood in at least a century.”

  As reassuring as that was meant to be, it didn’t help much.

  Wait. Princess? Is he kidding me?

  I tilted my chin in an effort to appear brave. “Why don’t you explain what just happened so I can figure out whether I want to trust you?”

  Dino frowned and looked at Talia. She shrugged.

  He scratched the massive patch of dark hair spilling from his open shirt. “How is it you don’t know about this, doll? I thought you were the Aegis everyone was talking about.”

  Yesterday, this had been a sore spot. Today, it didn’t bother me a bit. I wasn’t sure what had changed, but I no longer felt insecure for my lack of knowledge. I didn’t need to know everything. I had people around me all the time—people who never left me in the dark for long. I wasn’t isolated in the woods somewhere, dependent solely on myself. I had a team.

  And then I realized what was up with the impromptu gathering last night. Maurice had brought everyone around to remind me of the vast knowledge and skills I had access to in the loyal friends who loved me.

  Mom had needed to know everything she could, because she’d been alone.

  I was never alone.

  My friends willingly offered themselves as a library, an army and an endless supply of positive energy to refill my tapped emotional resources.

  Because that was the other reason Maurice had sent for them. I’d let my empathic walls degrade while living in cramped quarters. Much of my energy had leaked out, leaving me raw, testy and on edge. Maurice had brought all those people here to refill my energy with love and laughter.

  I went inside myself to check my protective walls and found I was right.

  My energy had been refreshed and brightened. No wonder I wasn’t on the verge of snapping anymore.

  Maurice, you sly dog. I’m going to build you the biggest walk-in closet you’ve ever seen.

  I smiled at the vampire. “Listen, Dino. Papa. Papa Dino. If you say you’ve got this hunger thing managed, I’m okay with that. Talia is vouching for you.” I looked at Talia to confirm this and she gave a nod. “So, how about we skip it for now and go straight to working out this portal thing.”

  The vampire pulled out a silver case from his shirt pocket, flipped it open and took out a cigarette. When he snapped the case shut, I saw a cross engraved on the lid, and made a mental note to ask somebody about the cross thing later. Because, seriously.

  Dino flicked his thumb over his index finger, and held the resulting flame to the cigarette between his lips, then blew on his fingertip to put out the light. He took a drag and blew out a series of smoke rings. “Talia has kept me up on the portals to the demon world opening for no apparent reason.” He flicked ashes over the railing into my flowerbed. “Now it appears someone’s broken through and has access to my world. This is the only one they’ve opened from my world. I can close it, but that won’t help us solve the mystery of where the portals are coming from.”

  I saw the wisdom in that. As much as I wanted the portal—and this weird Jersey Shore/Frank Sinatra hybrid of a vampire—gone from my property, I was afraid of what might come next if we didn’t figure it out. “Talia told you about the aswangs?”

  He nodded. “I don’t expect we’ll see that happening this time.”

  Riley folded his arms. “How can you be sure of that?”

  Dino eyed Riley with a mixture of surprise and disdain. “The aswangs of my world all settled in one village, and they never venture out of it. They are given no blood. Without it, they’re dull creatures capable of only the most basic, simple lives.” He took a drag. “You’re safe, reaper.”

  Riley didn’t look convinced. “Just the same, I’ve already called the local O.G.R.E.s to help keep an eye on this thing.”

  Dino frowned in annoyance. “If it helps you sleep, friend. Do what you have to do.” He flicked his cigarette over the railing and it popped out of existence before landing.

  Neat trick. I wouldn’t have to stab him with a wooden stake for setting my shrubs on fire.

  Talia hooked her arm through Papa Dino’s. “Let’s take this inside, in the meantime. We have much to discuss.”

  “I’d rather wait until reinforcements get here to guard the portals,” I said.

  Talia flicked her wrist, and the portal to her world closed in on itself. “There. Mine’s gone. If a crazed aswang comes through Papa’s door, it’ll combust in the sun. Nothing’s coming through there in daylight, I guarantee.”

  I exchanged looks with my team. Darius, still standing near the portal, nodded and stepped closer to it, clasping a hand over the other wrist, feet apart, in the stance of bodyguards the world over.

  Without a word—which always surprised me on the rare occasion that it happened—Kam followed his lead, and placed herself on the other side of the portal, same stance, looking official in her ridiculous camouflage.

  Sunlight or not, my people didn’t leave things to chance. And they had my back.

  Which was why the last of the three, Riley, came inside. As much as we needed eyes on that portal, nobody was going to leave me alone with the queen of the demons and the vampfather. Plus, Mom and Sara were in there.

  If this all went wrong, I had to hope that an otherwise ordinary guy with the ability to snatch souls out of people’s chests could handle the powerful creatures I’d invited into my home.

  No sooner did I have our visiting monster royalty settled than Maurice came out of the pantry, arms filled with extra plates I recognized as coming from Sara’s house. Maurice had taken to treating Sara’s kitchen—twenty miles away—as an extension to mine, since he was able to travel from my closets to hers in an instant.

  Maurice hummed while he worked to set the table, oblivious to the four sets of eyes watching him from the living room. Riley cleared his throat, and Maurice looked up.

  His eyes widened. “Oh. Hello.” He set the plates down. “I’ll make more coffee.”

  I felt the nervous energy wafting off of him as much as I read it from his jerky movements. I’d have warned him if I could have, but nobody ever warned me before crazy dropped in my lap. In fact, that sort of thing tended to happen most days around here, so the sun coming up was probably warning enough.

  Which reminded me. Mom had been at the window when we went outside, but she’d disappeared before we came back in. I shook my head.

  She wondered how I’d managed
to stay alive for so long.

  I wondered how she ever managed to get anything accomplished.

  I took a deep breath and exhaled. “Do either of you know what the point of all this is? Why go to the trouble of opening portals? Why switch from demon to vampire?”

  Dino relaxed into the couch cushions and stretched his arms across the back of the sofa. His shirt gaped open farther. “I’d say the why at the bottom of everything is that someone wants you dead.”

  “You and the rest of the Aegises.” Talia crossed her legs. “Someone wants to break the Covenant. I thought we’d established that.”

  I frowned. “Yes, but why? And why go to such an elaborate scheme to do it?”

  Dino chuckled. “From what I’ve heard, you’ve outlasted a number of other elaborate schemes, and so have the few Aegises who are left. The only ones remaining are either extremely tough or extremely lucky.”

  “So, what do we do? Assume an aswang is coming out of there at nightfall, magically hypnotized into tearing out my throat?”

  “I told you, the aswangs of my world are simple, and they’re all confined in one village.” Dino’s demeanor hardened, and his voice was stern.

  I leaned forward. “I’m sure Talia would have told you what happened with her aswangs was impossible too.”

  He glanced at her and she confirmed with a short nod. “Plus,” she said, “there’s the additional question of how in the Balorian hells somebody managed to open our portals in the first place.”

  I rubbed the back of my neck, thinking hard. “I don’t understand why they stopped opening demon portals and switched to vampires. When you mentioned the werewolf people, you made it sound like they were next. Like there was some strange order to all this. But it seems totally random to me.”

  Talia shook her head. “No. Not random at all.” She pointed one taloned finger toward the ceiling and made a large circle with her arms. “This is my world. It’s the outer ring. My world is the easiest to access, which is why I have so many rules. The demon world is the barrier between the human world and the others.”

  “Except the djinn, of course,” Papa Dino said. “Their world is separate.”

  “Sort of off to the side.” She rotated her finger. “When portals are opened too many times, too close together in my world, it stops spinning and locks into place. When my world is open, it’s possible for someone to access the next world in.”

  Papa rolled up the pressed sleeves of his dress shirt. “That’s my world. And if someone continues to open up mine, the vampire world will lock in place and we’ll likely see the world spinning on the other side of mine open up.”

  “The werefolk,” Riley said. “They’re next in line?”

  Talia dropped her hands in her lap. “Yes. My world protects the rest, but Papa’s is the second line of defense, and someone’s already broken into it.”

  I swallowed hard. “I don’t really want to know this, but zombies come next after werewolves, don’t they.”

  Papa Dino’s expression looked sad. “I’m afraid so, doll. Ultimately, all the other worlds are in place to keep the zombies and the humans apart.”

  Maurice came in with a tray of coffee and homemade chocolate-almond biscotti. “I’m sorry to interrupt.” He poured coffee into each cup. “Has anyone thought to check with the other rulers? If only a ruler or a fully charged djinn can open a portal, maybe someone should contact the djinn world.”

  “I like how you think, my friend.” Dino stirred four spoons of sugar into his cup. “Unfortunately, Talia and I are the only ones friendly with each other.” He winked at her and she ignored him. “The others sort of keep to themselves, if you know what I mean. We can give it a whirl, but no promises.”

  Talia sipped her black, unsweetened coffee. “You’re right. If the plan—whatever that is—fails with the vampires, they’re likely to move on to the lycans. Maybe we can get ahead of the game and get word through. I can only try.”

  I hesitated, afraid to ask my next question. “What about...the zombies? Shouldn’t you warn their king, or whatever?”

  The vampire and the demon shifted in their seats and avoided eye contact with me. “If we can’t stop this before they come to the zombies, it’s over.”

  Riley had been dunking his biscotti in his coffee. He set it down on the saucer without taking a bite. “What do you mean it’s over?”

  Talia’s foot tapped on the carpet. “As far as anyone knows, there is no ruler for the zombie world. They mill around in there with no purpose, mindless and empty. If a portal to their world opens, they’ll follow the scent of humanity into this world.”

  I steadied my shaking hand and set down my cup. “Then what happens?”

  Talia’s jaw clenched. “The human world will be completely destroyed.”

  Chapter Nine

  A person might think the queen of demons and the father of vampires would be light on the chitchat. That person would be wrong. After hitting us with the dire warning of impending doom for all humanity, Talia seemed unconcerned. In fact, she and Papa Dino were more interested in playing catch-up with each other than with the task at hand.

  Their lack of concern and further info was killing me.

  Papa waved an elegant hand in the air as he told her about a recent altercation between his second-in-command and a warthog. “And that’s why we no longer keep jelly donuts in the break room at the knitting factory.”

  Talia threw her head back and they laughed together, as if it were the funniest story ever.

  I found the idea of a warthog wandering into a knitting factory run by vampires who eat jelly donuts to be absolutely absurd, and the fact that the vampire world’s deputy happened to be there was highly suspect.

  Once the laughter tapered off, I cleared my throat and tried to steer things back to current events. “So, let me ask you something. Can either of you tell me what exactly is in the Covenant? I’ve been told different things that don’t appear to mesh with each other. The Hidden governments say a breakdown of their system will break the Covenant. But they also say that it breaks if all the Aegises are dead.”

  Talia scratched an eyebrow with the talon of her pinky. “Well, that’s hard to say.”

  Papa Dino nodded. “The Covenant was written a long time ago. Nobody alive today was there.” He scratched his chin in thought. “In fact, I’d guess the Covenant didn’t have a thing to do with your Hidden government, considering they’re only about four hundred years old and the Covenant was forged when the first Hidden was born.”

  I frowned. “That doesn’t make any sense.” I wasn’t sure whether to be furious at how egotistical the Board and its foreign counterparts were or sad that they all seemed to believe their own lies. “Why would the government think they had anything to do with a document that predates them?”

  Talia smiled and bit into a cookie. “Why indeed? Seems to me, it’s easier for a government to control people if they’re afraid of their fate without it.” She snickered and waved her biscotti at Papa Dino. “Just like the time I sent you that delivery of marzipan tarot demons. Remember?”

  Papa Dino choked on a sip of coffee. Riley patted the vampire on the back until the coughing turned to chuckles. “You were a naughty one when we were younger, Talia. It took me three days to reorganize the night watch after you did that. And nobody could find matching shoes for weeks.”

  I stared at the two of them, wondering if they’d lost their minds. Not a damn thing they said made sense, though, admittedly, I was getting it all out of context. Which also made them rude as hell.

  I took a deep breath. One more try at getting them back on task before I gave up entirely. “So, you’re saying you don’t really know what’s in the Covenant either, but it has nothing to do with the Hidden governments?”

  Talia turned her head, a smile still on her face, and looked at me as if she’d forgotten I was sitting there. “Yes, that’s what we’re saying. I do believe, however, that it has plenty to do with you. Or rath
er, all the Aegises. When the last Aegis dies, the Covenant is broken. That part isn’t made up.”

  “As far as we know.” Papa brushed a crumb from his suit. “It’s not like we were there.”

  I sighed. “As far as you know. Great. Do you know of anyone who was there?”

  Talia shrugged one elegant shoulder. “Maybe the First Hidden. But she’s a rumor. I for one think she’s got to be dead by now.”

  Papa nodded. “I agree. Long gone.”

  They each sipped their coffee, unconcerned with offering further information. I forced myself to smile and be polite, despite wanting to grab the two and bang their heads together. “Could you tell me about the First Hidden?”

  Talia cocked her head to the side. “Nobody really knows. Some say the First was a great dragon made of stone and fire. My mother used to say it was a giant tortoise the size of a house.”

  Papa stared at the demon queen as if she’d lost her mind. “I don’t know where people get such crazy notions. The First Hidden was an enormous bird.” He smiled, flashing pointed teeth. “A bird so big your tortoise wouldn’t stand a chance.”

  * * *

  That was the last of the useful—if cryptic—information I got out of the two of them. When the coffee and biscotti were gone, the queen of the demons and the father of vampires went home through their portals with a promise to return if they had any new information.

  They’d been practically useless.

  Mom, it turned out, had grabbed Sara to keep her away from Talia and bolted out the back door to make sure Andrew and Daniel didn’t wander into the middle of things. I had to admit, that was smart thinking. If things had gone wrong and Riley and I smelled too good to keep the vampire docile, I would have wanted everyone else safe.

  Maybe I walked myself into constant danger, but I’d preferred not to risk my friends.

  The portals hadn’t been closed for long when the O.G.R.E. squad showed up. Lionel sported a brand new, equally handsome face since our last encounter. The skin seemed to fit better than the last one had. Even though the Board helped him legally acquire his skins, he weirded me out so bad I had to force myself to shake his hand when he offered it. Dude had been shopping for a new face at the morgue. So gross.