Unapologetic (A Novel)

by Pamela Ann

  “You’re crazy,” I whispered with an unwavering smile.

  “We’ve already established that long ago,” he cheekily responded before he took hold of my other hand and gestured toward my ensemble. “But look at you—wowzah. Is Kyle on his way over? ’Cause if I were in his shoes, I wouldn’t fucking let you out of my sight.”

  “Guess it’s a good thing he’s not like you. You’ve already covered the stalker in my life; I don’t need another one.” Sliding out of his loosened grip, I searched for my keys before lodging it into the keyhole and unlocking it.

  “Oh, yeah? I’m a stalker now?” He cackled as we stepped into my apartment with him trailing behind me before I felt his strong arms secure around my body. “Come here,” he roughly commanded, the playfulness in his tone gone as he pulled me toward him before slamming my body against his muscular, chiseled chest. “Missed me?” he asked gruffly as he nibbled on my earlobe.

  “A little?” My body shuddered as his tongue zoned in on spots that were highly sensitive. I could feel my scarce lace thong soaking.

  “Only a little?” He laughed before he smacked my bottom cheek then palmed it, beginning to massage it in soothing, circular motions. “You’re going to get it tonight. I’m not going to hold back this time.”

  Oh, fuck me now. How did he accomplish to make me into this hapless woman in one heart fucking beat? It was his specialty.

  Biting my bottom lip, I enticingly gazed at him through my lashes. “Is that a threat?”

  “It’s a promise.” He unceremoniously pushed me against the wall with his hot breath on my lips. “Don’t be coy. I know you. You want me, but you won’t openly admit it.” The wet tip of his tongue grazed the bottom of my lip, tasting me, those lethal libidinous eyes held me in a trance. “How often do you touch yourself while talking to me? Your voice changes, and I can easily detect the soft hitches and the stifled moans.” He cupped my drenched pussy before hastily pushing the scrap of thread aside to probe farther into me. With the use of his middle finger, he parted my slit, gliding his soaked digit in my essence, leaving me panting against him. “Do you touch yourself like this, my Cara? Do you imagine it’s my cock rubbing your pussy? Tell me … Tell me what you want.”

  Rendered speechless, my pulse accelerated to another pitch. Profuse with embarrassment, I wondered why he hadn’t said a damn thing before? Each night it became a ritual because his voice sent me back to that night he unapologetically ravished me. I had lusted for him before, sure. But this time, my carnal appetite demanded more. It was like a terrifying mountain of fire that he alone could satiate and extinguish. His lovemaking was unmatched, and I was addicted to it.

  Previously I had denied the notion, but as I stood there, defenseless against his ministrations, it became blatantly obvious that my body couldn’t resist him. Like it was designed to do as he pleased, obey his orders, his commands, and at his mercy. Never did it decline his wishes. Not once. And it didn’t plan to in the near future.

  “Tell me what you want, my Cara,” he demanded in the most compelling manner, before I felt that notorious digit impale me deeply, threateningly, with one purpose in mind.

  I groaned in frustration, knowing he enjoyed prolonging my agony. “You know what I think.” My lips quivered when I felt him thrust his hips against mine, his hardened member fully aroused.

  Thinking about where that engorged cock would soon be made my mouth water. I could feel its strength, its glorious steely power ready to rule and conquer my body.

  “I think about you, lost in me, within me, fucking me with that thick dick of yours. I dream about the way you stretch me as you glide within my wet walls, giving me sweet pain, the greatest pleasure I’ve ever known. It’s pure bliss to feel your muscular, sinewy body on top of me, taking charge of what’s yours.”

  He groaned as his forehead met mine, breathing against my lips. “Is this body really mine, Cara?”

  For the time being.

  Cupping his cheek, I sought his lips. “For now … it’s yours to take … for as long as you want.”

  “Christ, Cara, I can’t get enough of you. Every waking moment and in my dreams, it’s you I think about.”

  My heart ached with his confession. “Show me. Show me how much you want me.”

  I heard his pants drop to the floor as I panted for his touch. Then I felt him bunch the scrap of my thong before yanking it out of the way. The fat mushroom head of his member grazed my abdomen as he watched me, primal and ready to dominate his prey.

  “Beg for my cock, babe.”

  Nearing the end of my patience, I groaned in protest. “God, River, just fuck me already! Fuck me good, hard. Fuck me like you mean it.”

  “Okay, sheesh,” he managed to chuckle before those hungered lips lit me on fire and those large hands lifted me against the wall, lining his cock against my entrance.

  He pummeled his length so hard I was almost out of breath. He filled me with every inch of him, breaking through the tightest of my barriers as I clung to him like my life depended on it.

  “Tightest cunt I’ve ever fucked,” he grunted out as he ploughed me harder, thrusting in deeper as I moaned against his lips.

  A few more strokes, and I shattered with my release. He, however, had just begun.

  Not before long, he was carrying me before he positioned me on the wing of the couch with my bottom in the air, situated righty to perfectly angle against his sex. Before I could utter another word, I felt his palm slap my pussy. The impact made me groan in excitement, whetting my appetite for more. He then gently cupped it as if to soothe it, but when he felt my juiced drip glazing his hand, he hissed my name out.

  “I’m going to fuck you all night until it’s time for me to leave, I promise you.” I could feel his breath hitting my sensitive mound, and before I realized what he was doing, his hot tongue dipped into my core, gliding it from front to back, flicking and licking both entrances until I cried out for him to end my torment.

  Granting me a short reprieve, he wrapped his knuckle around the ends of my dress then forcefully yanked it, bending my yielding body as he ground his dick into my wet canal.

  “Grip your pussy around my cock,” he demanded with urgency. “God damn, baby. Yes, just like that. Harder. Choke it. Grip it harder.”

  I did as he asked, using what little strength I had to make him come. And just when I thought I couldn’t bear it any longer, he warned me what he was about to do before I felt the thick ropes of his orgasm filling me, his cock throbbing as he made small thrusts, milking his member until he emptied every drop inside of me.

  “Did I hurt you?” he huffed out before he slowly pulled out of me then planted a soft kiss on each of my ass cheeks.

  A faint smile formed on my lips before I shut my eyes. “No, but if you don’t take me to bed, I might do you some harm.”

  He chuckled before granting me my wish, plucking me out of peculiar position and taking me to bed. Sighing with utmost delight, I felt him tread toward the bathroom before he brought me a warm wet towelette and gently cleaned my nether region.

  “Thank you,” I murmured as my face dipped onto the pillow.

  I felt his lips against my forehead before he whispered, “Don’t ever thank me for taking care of you, baby.” He then slid into bed, gathering me in his arms. my face resting against his chest.

  “Can I ask you something?” he murmured over my head as he gently and aimlessly stroked my hair.

  “Hmmm?” I garbled, trying to stay awake.

  “I heard Kells’ joke around with Anton and how he was ‘technically’ a virgin.”

  Even in my state, I had to snicker as I wondered what River might have thought when he had heard it. It was an inside joke.

  “Oh, that. Well, he’s not a virgin, per say. He’s had sex with women before, but never with a guy. He’s holding out. I don’t know why. To clear any confusion, he was in denial and didn’t come out until a few years ago.”

  “Ah, that explains it.”
He laughed before pulling me closer to his body.

  “Can I sleep now?” Shutting my eyes, I had never felt so sated in my life. Intense orgasms were the best medicine to put one to sleep, guaranteed.

  “Really?” He blew out a breath before grabbing his phone on the side table. “I gotta jet out in six hours, babe. I was hoping to stay up late with you. But never mind me; you go get some beauty rest.”

  He was being slightly incredulous. “Gee, thanks, you have yourself to blame for taking all the energy out of me.”

  “You’re welcome, my beautiful love. I hope you don’t mind if I take you while you’re sleeping. I intend to do it, anyway, but thought I’d give you a heads-up.”

  “What’s the point? It’s not like you haven’t done it before.” He did as he pleased with my body, with or without permission. The moment he took my virginity after a prolonged wait for me to be ready, he had been unstoppable. Therefore, this admission didn’t surprise me at all.

  He kissed the top of my head before whispering how much he loved me. “Sleep well, my beautiful Cara.”

  I wasn’t his, yet what was the point in arguing? My body was exhausted, and my eyes could barely stay open. Besides, I loved waking up to him taking temporary bliss between my thighs.

  And I woke up several times as he raged into my body, taking it harder as he chased his guttural pleasure, fucking me until he screamed my name. Then, right before he left, I recalled him whispering into my ear that he would see me soon and declared how much I owned him and his heart.

  Gradually, I began to gain consciousness. The throb in my pussy became more apparent as I reminded myself how this came about. In the midst of reaching for my phone on the side table, I was confused to find a basket. Then my eyes diverted to a note that rested against it.

  Morning Sleeping Beauty! Thought you might need some complimentary ‘after good sex kit.’ =) I had Joe run to CVS before picking me up. I’ll call you when I land.

  Love you,

  R

  “Cocky bastard.” I laughed at his audacity before my eyes caught sight of the largest bottle of Aleve, ice packs, and other items he deemed necessary for me to recover from his tumultuous onslaught. The man had a charming sense of humor. I always loved that about him.

  Just as my mind began to drift away, my phone beeped, indicating a message received. It was a message from Kyle.

  Thanks for dining with me last night. When can I see you next?

  Here lay the conundrum. I couldn’t have both, and as much as I wanted River, Kyle represented a clean slate, a new relationship without the past hanging overhead. A very distinguished difference I had to account for.

  Life was short, and I was going to start living it.

  Que sera, sera.

  Chapter Fifteen

  It had been a week since Addison gave me a call and announced that I got a small part in the movie I had twice auditioned for. I hadn’t minded that it was an Indie film, all I cared about that I was given the opportunity to act and I will give with everything in me. As long as I could do what I was passionate about, that’s all that mattered.

  So here I was, just recently landing in Vancouver before I was whisked off to where the location was set. After being introduced to the assistant that would be helping me, Ginny showed me to the trailer that was assigned for me. Makeup was due in ten minutes so I had that stretch of time to gather my bearings before planting myself to be beautified for the set. Setting my sights on the pasties and refreshments gathered on the table, I was surprised to find a beautiful floral arrangement. My very favorite kind. Plucking the white envelope, I had an inkling to whom it had come from.

  I’m so proud of you. Have fun on set.

  Love you forever and ever,

  River

  A loud sigh passed my lips as I stared at the sight before me. River had been courting me, sending gifts and little mementos to win my heart again. I had confronted him few days ago about what it all meant, but he easily denied it. He insisted that it was his way of loving me.

  When he inquired about Kyle and the progress of my relationship with him, I never denied him any information. It was a subtle way of proving that sex didn’t mean we were in exclusivity. Regardless, River remained unmoved.

  I had a week of shooting before I was jobless again. Clover wouldn’t shoot for another month and a half, so I had a lot of time on my hands. For the time being, I lavished on being out on location and doing what I wanted the most in the world—acting.

  //

  A week later, three hours after I landed, I had Kells pounding on my door with my dinner in hand. Anton then soon came to catch up with the ins and outs of our lives. Nothing seemed to change on theirs, except of Kells’ thriving relationship with Phoenix. I had never seen her happier. She had that glow about her, the one they pointed out as “the honeymoon” glow.

  “Gee, guys, thanks for the food and all but can we resume the reunion tomorrow since I’m crazy tired?” Rest and sleep were quite scarce since my work kept me awake, reading and rereading my lines, making sure I got it right. I had an obsessive personality, one that came out in full-force once I began acting.

  Anton chewed on his steak before giving me a considering look. “You can cover those dark circles in a flash, you’re coming out with us tonight. And heck it’s Friday night. It’s illegal to stay home when you’re under twenty-five.”

  “Please?” Kells chimed in. “I know you’ve been working hard all week but Phoenix has this thing tonight and I promised to drag you both with me.”

  Oh, damn. Sometimes it was hard to resist friends when they became persistent. In a way, I could make this into my advantage.

  Giving Anton a pointed look, I beamed at him. “I’ll go if you promise to come with me. I’ve enrolled us for boxing/mixed martial arts classes. We apparently start Monday.”

  His eyes buggered out, like the idea of exercising offended him. “You did what?”

  I couldn’t help laughing at his ghastly expression.

  “Don’t be a baby. I’m sure it’ll be fun. You’re doing it with Cara.” Kells gave him an encouraging look. “How bad can it be?”

  “Laugh now, but if I end up in the hospital, you two will be footing my bill.”

  We both agreed to his condition before we finished our meal.

  I took my time getting ready, and after a long hot shower, I took a half an hour nap. It felt as though I had just shut my eyes closed before my alarm shrill next to my ear.

  “The things I do for my friends,” I grumbled as I reluctantly slid off the bed and sleepily stared at my wardrobe. “Coffee. I need caffeine first.”

  Leaving my closet ajar, I marched toward my kitchen as my phone rang, flashing River’s name.

  “Hi,” I yawned before sliding a mug underneath my Keurig machine. “How’s it going?” Another yawn came out of my lips before I sighed at the sound of a dripping coffee.

  “Hello, sleepy head. Did I wake you, babe?”

  The sound of his voice soothed me.

  “Wish I was sleeping, but I’m making coffee. Have to go out and support my friend.”

  “You don’t have to if you’re too tired. I’m sure Phoenix will understand.” Of course River always ensured my wellbeing before anything.

  I appreciated his concern, but I had already given my word.

  “I’ll go for a bit, then I’m coming back home to hit the sack.”

  My coffee made, I stretched to grab the sugar container and took a spoonful into my drink. Taking a careful sip, I immediately felt the good work of caffeine kicking into my system.

  “Anyhow, as much as I love speaking to you, lover boy, I gotta go and get ready for the evening.”

  River groaned. “Call me when you can, yeah?”

  “I promise.”

  An hour later, my friends and I were in one of Hollywood’s hottest club where DJ Phoenix was playing. Her relationship with Phoenix blossomed. Scared as she might be, she was hopeful this might be the first real
relationship she had ever had.

  Kyle had been meaning to see me, but I couldn’t indulge him just yet since I had already given my word to Kells. Besides, he and I have been in constant communication. Soon, I promptly promised him.

  We had our own private lounge along with Rock, Manu, Mint, Carly, and Lauren. Kells seemed to be getting on with Phoenix’s friends, and I couldn’t help smiling as she broadened her wings as she let boyfriend into her life.

  Three shots in, I was happily floating in my buzz when Anton led me to the dance floor, ready to bring the house down with his dancing skills. We were in the midst of a popular dance song when Kells joined us before they began pointing at someone behind me.

  “Do you care for a dance, beautiful?” a deep voice boomed behind me, making me pause.

  I spun around to face the man. River. I almost lost shit upon seeing him as he madly grinned at me.

  “What! How?” Beaming from ear-to-ear, I had to squash down the notion of kissing him on the lips. As much as I ached to do so, I just couldn’t when my friends were in full-view. “You’re back!” My excitement hadn’t ebbed away, my eyes unable to get enough of him.

  “I am,” he stated as his eyes roved my face, longing and yearning to touch and kiss me.

  “We just spoke. You never said you were home,” I rambled, still shocked to see him right here, in the middle of the dance floor. “Don’t you have another two weeks to shoot?”

  He kept popping out in and out of my life while filming. Wouldn’t he get in trouble? I hoped not. As much as I was glad to see him, missing each other could wait. River was a passionate man and tended to be compulsive when his heart ruled over mind.

  “I’m leaving again tomorrow.” He tried to hide his smile, seeming a little embarrassed for his spontaneous actions. “It’s a crazy idea, and I’m hella tired, but I want to see you even for a day. It’s worth it. You’re worth it.”

  Damn. “You’re insane.”

  He looked amazingly delicious, too. The scruffy long hair look was really doing wonders to my libido. Hell, it was hard to control my urges around him. When would it end?