Undaunted Spirit

by Jane Peart

  Listening, Mindy’s heart traveled back across the years and miles to the first Christmas she could remember. Her parents had taken her to a Christmas service much like this one. She remembered the trip in the wagon, the wheels and horses hooves making sharp crunching sounds on the thin crust of the snow. The smell of cedar and candle wax pungent in the warmth of the church. She recalled sitting in her father’s lap, conscious of the new crimson velvet dress she was wearing. The memory was so real she could almost feel his coat lapels against her cheek as she leaned her head on his broad shoulders during the choir’s rendering of “Away in a Manger.” As a child, Mindy had felt sad at the words “no crib for his head,” imagining “the Little Lord Jesus, asleep in the hay.” Even at that early age she had been sensitive to others’ pain.

  Christmas always brought back nostalgic memories, and this Christmas was no exception. As she watched the younger children take their places to sing “O Little Town of Bethlehem,” she felt deeply moved. So caught up in the moment, she hardly noticed a kind of stirring at the end of her pew. Suddenly, she caught a whiff of a familiar cologne and turned her head to see who had just sat down beside her.

  “Surprised?” Wade whispered.

  Surprised and thrilled. Yes! but she was still hurt and angry that he had gone so abruptly without telling her, leaving her wondering about their relationship, what it had meant, or if it had meant anything. Even while Mindy tried to maintain her composure, joy surged through her. Wade slipped his hand over hers and pressed it. Dizzy with excitement, Mindy looked away and stared straight ahead, afraid her overflowing emotions would show. Everything around her seemed to become blurred, the shiny ornaments on the Christmas tree, the candles. All she was conscious of was Wade’s presence and her own soaring happiness.

  The party that followed was mainly for the youngsters. Frank Owensby, the blacksmith, a huge, genial man, played Santa Claus to the delight of the children and the hilarity of the adults. Presents and bags of hard candy were handed out. Punch and cakes and pies of many kinds were in abundant supply for refreshment.

  With so much chatter and confusion, shrieks from the children, laughter from the adults, there wasn’t a chance for Mindy and Wade to talk. She was filled with curiosity about where he had been and why he had left and came back so unexpectedly. She thought she had successfully overcome her disappointment and had gotten over her heartache at his seeming indifference. But now she was trembling with gladness that he was here. There would be time later to talk, to ask questions, to find the answers to the questions she’d asked herself over and over about Wade Carrigan. But underneath, she was not really sure she would get them.

  Everything around her was seen as through a haze of happiness. She spoke to people she knew but could not call them by name. She accepted holiday wishes and gave them but could not remember what she had said. Through the clusters of chattering folks, she saw Taylor’s tall figure moving toward her.

  With a pang of dismay, she recalled how they had spoken earlier, of the dances he had requested and promises she had made. He was smiling widely as he approached. His eyes were focused on Mindy; he didn’t seem to see Wade standing at a little distance behind her.

  “Never saw you look so pretty, Miss Mindy. I been waiting all evenin’ to tell you so.”

  “Thank you, Taylor.” Mindy darted a quick look over her shoulder to check if Wade could overhear them.

  “Dr. MacAvey checked my arm today. See, I can lift and move it just fine.” He demonstrated. “So I’m looking forward to our dances. Can I get you some punch while they’re tuning up?”

  “Sorry, old boy.” Wade stepped up alongside Mindy. “All Miss McClaren’s dances are taken.”

  Taylor’s face flushed a deep red. He glanced from Wade to Mindy then back to Wade. He looked confused. “I’m Taylor Bradford. Sheriff Bradford. Don’t think I’ve had the pleasure.” Wade stuck out his hand. “Wade Carrigan. No title, just Wade.” There was subtle sarcasm underneath the smooth voice. “Miss McClaren came with me and is leaving with me. In fact, we were just about to go, weren’t we?” he smiled complacently. “Afraid the party’s over, Sheriff.”

  Mindy started to say something. Wade was being deliberately condescending, making fun of Taylor. It was rude and unkind, but she didn’t have a chance to amend it. Wade had taken her arm and was propelling her away from Taylor toward the door.

  “Come along, Mindy.” He placed a hand on her waist in an obvious gesture of possession. “Good night, Sheriff.”

  Outside in the frosty starlight, Mindy remonstrated, “Wade, you didn’t need to be so—”

  “What? Proprietary? That young man was about to steal you away. I couldn’t allow that. Especially since, like one of the three wise men, ‘I’ve traveled plains and mountains, fields and fountains’ to reach you, to spend Christmas with you.”

  Just then a group of people came by, calling out “Merry Christmas” to Mindy, and she returned the wishes. She still felt bad about the exchange between Wade and Taylor. She would make it up to Taylor later. Now, all she could think of was being with Wade.

  He captured her hand in his, and they walked in the starlight slowly back to the boarding house. Somehow, all the things she wanted to ask seemed unimportant. Her heart was bubbling with happiness. Fool that she was, it seemed all that mattered.

  “I have a present for you.” Wade said, tucking her hand through his arms tight to his side, “but it isn’t wrapped. I’ll give it to you in the morning.”

  You’re my present, Mindy thought, but didn’t say it.

  “We’ll spend the day together,” Wade announced as though sure she would have no plans of her own. Even if she had, Mindy knew she would have broken them.

  At the door, Wade pulled a piece of mistletoe out of his jacket pocket. “I snitched this out of the decorations,” he chuckled. He leaned down and tucked it into her hair. Then he put his hand on her cheek, tilted her face up, and kissed her.

  “Merry Christmas, little lady.”

  Somewhere in her dazzled mind, Mindy told herself the Christmas she had almost dreaded had turned out to be the happiest of her life. In her room, Mindy sat in front of her dressing table and removed the mistletoe from her hair. She looked at it for a minute, then realized it was artificial. Of course, where could live mistletoe be found in Coarse Gold? Her next thought chilled her a little: were Wade’s words and his kisses also make-believe?

  Chapter 18

  On Christmas morning, Mindy woke early and went to the special nativity service. Since Wade had made such a point of spending the day together, she wanted to be free to do whatever he had planned without foregoing her customary practice of church attendance.

  She did not expect Wade to be at church. To her surprise, however, Taylor was.

  She still felt uncomfortable about the way Wade had treated Taylor and determined to put things right with him after the service. Following the closing hymn, the congregation gathered outside to exchange Christmas greetings. Mindy waved and called to Taylor.

  At first he seemed reluctant, but when she took a few steps toward him, he came quickly over to her.

  “Merry Christmas, Taylor. Wasn’t it a lovely service?” He nodded but did not offer anything else. There was nothing to do but to plunge right in to the embarrassing incident at the party. “Taylor, I really apologize about last night.”

  Taylor looked away, directing his gaze over Mindy’s head as though scouting to see if his nemesis was anywhere nearby. Mindy rushed on, “I didn’t forget about our dances, it’s just that Wade is an old friend, and we hadn’t seen each other in a while and—”

  “I didn’t know you had any old friends in Coarse Gold,” Taylor interrupted. “You only been here a few months.”

  Mindy was taken aback. Taylor was sharper than she had given him credit for.

  “That’s true. What I meant was he’s been gone and seeing him so unexpectedly . . . well, I was surprised and—”

  “No need to explain
, Miss Mindy,” Taylor said, twisting his hat in both hands.

  “But I didn’t want you to misunderstand.”

  “I don’t.”

  “Well, then, just to be sure I—”

  At that moment, Dr. MacAvey hailed Taylor and ambled up to join them. Immediately the subject was changed.

  Anxious that Wade might already be at Mrs. Busby’s waiting for her, Mindy wished them both a Merry Christmas, excused herself, and hurried back to the boarding house.

  To her disappointment he wasn’t there. Hours passed, and he still didn’t come. Where was he? He had said they would spend the day together. It was not until late Christmas afternoon after she had been watching for him for hours from her bedroom window, that he finally appeared.

  He made no apology for tardiness. “Your Christmas present,” he said handing her a small carved rosewood box. The coolness with which Mindy had intended to treat him vanished when she opened it. Inside wrapped in satin cloth was a beautiful necklace. On a twisted gold chain hung a heart pendant centered with a brilliant ruby surrounded by tiny diamonds. He gave it to her with deliberate casualness as if to take away any special significance for such an obviously expensive gift.

  According to Mindy’s traditional upbringing, a lady never accepted jewelry unless engaged to the giver. Such a gift would represent the serious intentions of the gentleman. In her heart, she knew Wade had no such intentions. Still, she wanted to keep it, whatever the motive or its meaning.

  For the next few days, Mindy tried to ignore her doubts about Wade. He was charm itself, and she did not want to break the magic spell he cast in which she basked.

  She longed for Wade to express his feelings. Until he did she could not declare her own. There was every indication that he enjoyed her company and thought her interesting and attractive. Secretly, Mindy hoped for more.

  On New Year’s Eve, they joined the party at Mrs. Busby’s, agreeing it would be less boisterous than any of the ones taking place at the Palace or at the various saloons in town. In order to offset the number of toasts lifted to the close of one year and the beginning of another, Mrs. Busby had provided a bountiful midnight supper. But in spite of her effort to ring the New Year in with a modicum of decorum, the crowd seemed bent on welcoming the start of a new decade with their own brand of celebration.

  Wade and Mindy were surrounded by uninhibited merry-makers. Around them noise swirled, loud voices calling good wishes nearly drowned the music that the band kept valiantly playing. Some celebrants tried to dance. But as the crowd grew every few minutes with people spilling out from the other places on Main Street, to Mrs. Busby’s, it was almost impossible. When midnight finally struck, Wade shouted over the tooting of whistles and blowing of paper horns, “Let’s get out of here so I can wish you a proper Happy New Year.”

  He took Mindy by the arm and they made their way through the press of bodies toward the front door and out into the street. The change from the overheated house to the January night was sudden, and Mindy shivered. Wade immediately wrapped her in his arms and, heedless of people passing by, kissed her. A chorus of cheers went up among the onlookers, which brought Mindy back to the reality with a jolt. Quickly she pulled back.

  “Wade!” she admonished, conscious that they were surrounded by a circle of laughing bystanders, all of whom began to applaud.

  She glanced around embarrassed and stepped away from him, but Wade caught her arm and swung her back. He put one arm around her waist, laughing, “Just wishing you a Happy New Year, Miss McClaren.”

  But Mindy didn’t appreciate being kissed in front of a bunch of leering spectators. She gave him a scathing look and turned on her heel and started walking away. Her intention was to leave him standing there alone. Then she suddenly remembered she lived at Mrs. Busby’s. So where could she go to show her disapproval? She stopped short. Wade was right behind her.

  “Ah, come on. If I don’t care if the whole world sees me kissing you, why should you?” He was amused at her discomfort.

  “I just don’t like being made a spectacle of on the street.”

  “Don’t worry. They’ve all had too much to drink. In the morning they’ll not even remember what they saw. That is, unless you print it in banner headlines in the Gazette.” He seemed to think this hilarious and laughed.

  “I don’t think that’s funny,” she said coldly.

  Wade raised his eyebrow. “Lost your sense of humor, Miss McClaren?”

  Mindy realized she might be making a mountain out of a mole hill. Wade was probably right. In the height of festivity, who would recall or even care the next day?

  He came over to her, took her by the hand, and pulled her into the shadows cast by the porch railings of Mrs. Busby’s boarding house. There he enclosed her very gently in an embrace and kissed her again. This time it was no ordinary kiss or one given in jest. It had a demanding possessiveness to which she involuntarily responded.

  She could have drawn away and let him know she had not forgiven him for the impulsive first kiss, but she didn’t. She couldn’t. Not with the thrill that filled her whole being.

  This was a lover’s kiss. Wade must really love her..

  If she had expected a declaration of love from Wade, Mindy was sadly mistaken. When, two days later Wade left again without telling her what she longed to hear, Mindy was crushed but not shocked. She realized she had to take Wade as he was or not at all. It was up to her to curtail her expectations of the relationship.

  For a girl of her pride and independence, Mindy thought, Wade Carrigan held an irresistible fascination. But she could control it she told herself firmly. She had only herself to blame if she let him break her heart.

  To mend the ache Wade’s going had left, Mindy once again threw herself into her work at the newspaper. She took on more and more of the routine assignments that used to be Byron’s. She covered the weekly town council meetings, the court house news, as well as the gatherings of the Women’s Temperance Union and the literary society teas. All were dutifully and accurately written up and printed in the Gazette.

  Mindy was becoming well-known in the community and enjoying a limited respect. The women of the town, who might have looked upon her with some suspicion at first for holding such an unusual job, now regarded her with admiration. Men who might have dismissed her with male superiority now held her in high opinion. Mindy knew much of this was due to Byron’s outspoken praise for her as a reporter. She valued and was grateful for that even if that endorsement was verbalized in the watering holes of the town. At least his voice was given attention and Mindy was the recipient of good will.

  With Wade gone and evidently out of the way, Taylor renewed his quiet pursuit. He was always polite, almost courtly. From his long residency in Coarse Gold, he knew which social events would occur and would ask to accompany her even before the notice was printed in the Gazette. Since Byron usually assigned her to cover such things, Mindy welcomed Taylor’s escort. For such a small town, Coarse Gold had an active social schedule. Almost weekly Taylor arrived to take her to church bazaars, performances of the local elocution club, school plays, pie auctions, and other gatherings where the attendance of the town sheriff and the lady editor gave the occasion an added touch.

  Taylor was a gentle giant, as many big men are, and had a solid character and high standards of behavior. He was always gentlemanly and never took the slightest liberty. Mindy really was very fond of him, but she did not want to encourage Taylor in any romantic possibilities to their friendship. Perhaps in different circumstances she might have been attracted to the likable lawman. He had all the qualities most women admired: he was honest, kind, responsible. He loved children, as she had seen often, and would be a fine father. But since meeting Wade, no other man could take his place in her foolish heart.

  Mindy continued to enjoy her job, even though it sometimes took surprising forms. One day, a grizzly-bearded miner of uncertain age, still dressed in grubby overalls, plaid shirt, worn boots, and battered f
elt hat, came into the newspaper office. He looked around, then spotted Mindy at her desk and ambled over to her. He doffed his hat and stood for a minute, nervously fingering his soil-stained brim, before he spoke, “Afternoon, miss.”

  “Can I do something for you?” she asked, wondering what in the world that might be. He held a rolled up newspaper in one hand and rather diffidently held it out to her. “This here’s a Sacramento paper I come by, and in it I seen there’s a whole long piece of . . . I dunno ’zactly what you’d call it, but ads.” Under his wild beard, his face turned red. “There’s quite a few—here see for yerself.”

  Gingerly, Mindy took the tom-edged paper. It was folded to a section headed PERSONALS. She read the first two on the list.

  Struck it rich but lonely. Looking for a woman of sweet disposition to share the rewards with me. Please reply with qualifications to be a congenial companion to well proportioned gentleman, 28 years of age, five-foot- eight of good reputation and health. Will build house to suit lady’s taste.

  The second was a similar mixture of self praise and humility.

  Mindy looked up into the anxious face of the man standing at her desk. As kindly as she could she said, “I’m sorry. We don’t carry this type of advertising.”

  “Yes, ma’am, I knowed that, but I jest thought I might place one of these in that there paper.” He twisted his hat and glanced uneasily over his shoulder. He lowered his voice. “You see, I’m sort of like that feller in the first one. My mine done real good—but like the Good Book sez, it ain’t good for man to live alone. I been out here a long time, miss, and all the ladies I knew back home has all got married since I left. But I could offer a lot to the right kind of young lady, and I jes’ thought this might be a good way to find one.”