Daniel was in a cheerful conversation with a green haired girl, Cláudio was hugging Lucia, Vagner was lying in couch complaining he was hungry and my sunshine... It’s better to not talk about her.
I have to forget her!
The good side of the party is that at least someone did very well.
Cláudio is with Lucia and that makes me happy enough for me not to want to jump from a building.
Leaving drama aside and trying to look like I had slept well, I greeted everyone with a forced smile:
– Good morning!
– Finally, dork! – Cláudio complained with a fake smile. He wanted to cheer me up, I know that.
– Flea-ridden dog! – I answered forcing a smile.
– Let’s have some coffee? – Lu asked avoiding the famous and long discussion about dorks and flea-ridden dogs.
– Now that she is dating the dog, she is more snob – I’ve joked to Vagner that laughed.
– Let’s say that my boyfriend is perfect. – Lu laughed, winked an eye, and Cláudio opened a big smile.
We were going to the bakery to have breakfast when Lu noticed that Lena wouldn’t move.
– Aren’t you going, Lena? – asked Lu, suspicious.
– Ah! Yes, I am... – she answered standing up. – But I wanted to talk to Cintra before... Can I? – she asked looking at me in a weird way.
My stomach was turning around when I heard that voice and the night before came to my mind again.
Party Day
I was walking from one side to another in the residence’s living room waiting for Lena to come down. Daniel and Vagner had already come down with their dates while I and Cláudio were waiting anxiously.
Course that Cláudio’s anxiety wouldn’t compare to mine: while he was sitting looking at the watch, I was in agony walking from one side to another.
The watch was showing 8:20PM when Lu finally came down with a beautiful black dress that put a naughty smile in Cláudios face.
I saw the two kissing, and, right after, Cláudio said something like ‘I see you in the bakery’ but I didn’t pay attention because I was looking at the watch again.
My tie was beginning to bother me when I heard the noise of someone coming downstairs. And there was my sunshine. More beautiful than ever with her long dark blue dress, a well done bun in her hair, and a light makeup that made her look even more elegant.
My admiration increased and my heart beat fast when she stopped in front of me smiling. The biggest and most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen.
The eyes would shine tirelessly and I didn’t say a word, just looking at her in awe with such beauty.
– Aren’t you going to say anything? – she asked me still smiling.
– You are... You are amazing! Divine! – I paid her a compliment while making my brain work again.
She blushed lightly and smiled embarrassed.
– Thank you! You look very handsome as well – she answered turning even more red.
I think the little part of my brain that was working stopped for good that moment. Helena Menezes had just said I was handsome. A great step for someone who has listened to her yelling for four years.
I must have taken some minutes to get back to normal after Lena complimented me but she waited patiently.
– Are you alright? – she asked smiling.
– I’m great – I answered feeling silly. – This is for you! – I handled her the rose I had bought her.
– Thank you! – she thanked after smelling the rose and smiling.
– Shall we go? – I asked offered her the arm once again.
And there we were, going to our last chance to be happy together.
The ballroom was wonderful. The band was playing marvelously well.
It was not so hard finding our friends in the middle of so many people, after all Daniel’s date had green hair.
We didn’t sit by Vagner that was already devouring food.
– Do you want something? Beer? Juice? Water? – I asked kindly.
– I am good – she answered before starting to talk with Lu about the ballroom.
– What do you intend to do? – asked Cláudio who was sitting in front of me.
– Do about what? – I asked without understanding.
She pointed at my muse with his head. I felt upset because there were only a couple more hours to have her with a ring on the finger or I’d be obligated to forget her forever.
– I am doing nothing. I'll let it roll – I answered thinking in how stupid I was for not planning anything.
I was so happy for having Lena with me without fighting that I didn’t even think of what to do to gain her heart. I was just being myself. No tricks and no plans to make her see that we could be happy together. At least that is what I believe.
She was finally getting to know the real Igor Cintra from whom she always ran from. I hope that is enough for she to tell me a ‘yes’ by the end of the night.
I pressed the ring box that was in my coat’s pocket and I saw that the girls were looking intensely to the dance floor.
– It’s time to have fun – I told Cláudio. – Shall we dance? – I asked Lena taking the chance that a live music was playing and she wouldn’t say no.
I think she didn’t think twice before throwing her purse in the table and grabbing my hand, pulling me to the center of the ballroom.
I could only see Cláudio smiling happily at me, and the next moment Lena was dancing in front of me.
She was dancing so perfectly that if something changed, it would ruin it. Her body’s rhythmic and seductive moves were inebriating me. Standing there watching her dance was temptation.
I got scared when I felt my sunshine’s little hands pulling me by the waist and her lips getting closer to my ear with difficulty.
– Dance with me, Igor! – she asked.
Her mouth was so close to my ear that I felt goosebumps all over my body. Her hands in my hips, forcing a movement, it was making me dizzy.
Who said dreams can’t come true? I thought it would be best to stop admiring her and enjoying the night. I was praying that it wouldn’t be the first and last but – if it were – I’d better enjoy it.
I smiled at the brunette and started dancing with her, trying at all costs not to lose the little contact we had.
As soon as I stopped feeling Helena’s hands in my waist, my body seemed to ask for that with every fiber in my being and I grabbed her delicate hands, still dancing.
I spun her once, making her dress float lightly and some loose strings of her hair were thrown in the air.
– You dance well – she said smiling when her body started to beg for some drink.
– You don’t dance... You float, sunshine... You rock! – I complimented hugging her by the waist while we got back to the table.
As soon as Lena threw herself in the chair, I looked at her amused. She was all sweat, her hair starting to come apart, her makeup starting to fade but she was still divine to me.
– I’ll grab some drinks. What do you want? – I asked while she was straightening up my coat in the chair where she was sitting.
– You can bring me whatever you want – she said softly.
I grabbed us some juice and came back to the table. I didn’t want to get drunk in the best night of my life.
– Wow, that was fast! – she said surprised when I was back.
– I am fast – I joked sitting by her side.
We were chatting, or better, we were trying to, for we had to scream to be heard. We danced until we couldn’t do it anymore and came back to the table again. It didn’t take long and the others joined us.
The conversation was lively when the lights dimmed in the room. Daniel’s watch beeped saying it was four in the morning. We were in the last moments of the party and I hadn’t noticed.
Lights gradually dimmed and the live sound that was playing switched to something calm and relaxing. A slow song was all I needed to close the party. T
he great doubt was if the woman in front of me would accept that.
When I was going to ask for Cláudio’s opinion, I noticed there were only me and Lena at the table.
She was looking at nowhere, thoughtful. I thought it’d be better to take a chance:
– Do you wanna dance? – I asked once more that night.
But now it was something more. It were our last moments together before she’d take the decision that would change our lives.
She took my hand and we were walking side by side, hand in hand to the center of the ballroom. We were both absorbed in our own thoughts.
I think we were both thinking in the end of the party some minutes from now.
I turned her and laid her hands on my neck, to next pull her closer while putting my arms in her waist. My eyes didn’t want to stop looking at her eyes.
Her body was close to mine, swinging by the music. Her eyes invading mine, trying to be sure of what to do.
This was the first time I had Lena so close by her own free will. The other times it were stolen kisses in the hallways but nothing compared to seeing those gorgeous eyes so close.
My admiration didn’t last long, for Lena soon broke the visual contact we had and, to my amazement, she leaned her head in my chest some seconds later.
All attracted me to her. her body, her eyes, her voice, her smell. Her hair close to my nose inebriating me with that wonderful smell.
Her body so close to mine leaving me dizzy, her fingers massaging my neck were driving me crazy.
I couldn’t hold it and I said what had been stuck in my throat for so long:
– I love you! – I whispered in her ear with a rough and raspy voice.
At the same moment she lifted her face and stared me intensely. Her eyes looked like magnets.
Involuntarily, I felt my face get closer to hers. I don’t know if she noticed or not but she wouldn’t move and would only stare at me. I was afraid she would move away when she felt the tip of my nose touching hers.
A wonderful sensation took over my body and, leaning my head slightly to the side, I got even closer.
When I felt her breath close to mine and noticing the few inches that were putting us apart, I was taken oven by a well being sensation.
This would be the first time I’d kiss her with no fear of being slapped right after. I would be the first time she’d correspond... It’d be our first kiss! Who knows, the first of many?
I felt her arms tighten my neck even more and my hands pulled her even closer, if that was possible.
The best feeling I had in life was when I finally broke the small distance that was separating us, joining my lips to hers.
Those lips I’ve wanted so much, lips I’ve dreamed so much, and they were finally glued to mine.
Only those that have really kissed their loved ones know what I’m talking about: this intense feeling of pleasure, of seeing the world stop and only the two of you remaining.
I touched my tongue slightly in her lips asking permission to explore her mouth. A permission that was soon allowed.
Her mouth was even better than her lips. The sweet taste, her taste was invading my mouth. Her tongue was moving in the same rhythm as mine. Our bodies fitted together as if they belonged to each other.
We stayed there kissing for a while. During the kiss, time seemed to stop and seconds became hours, the best hours of my life. But as soon as my lungs begged for air, I had to move away from heaven and feel the seconds pass quickly.
All in me wanted to go back to feel her again,and take her lips once again but – when we were about to kiss – a voice echoed through the room announcing the party was ending.
It was then we noticed there were only a few people left in the room. Music had stopped a while ago, some people were already removing speakers from stage, and Cláudio and Lucia were waiting for us sitting at the table.
I looked at Lena’s eyes again before moving away from her completely. The wonderful feeling of being by her side had gone, leaving me empty inside. I wanted my body next to hers anyway.
I took her hand and we joined the other couple.
– We’d better go home. – It was the only thing Cláudio said before we grabbed our stuff and went to the student’s residence again.
Chapter IV
I shook my head to push away the memories of last night when I heard Menezes calling me again.
– Are you alright, Cintra? – she asked looking confused at me.
I didn’t know if I broke the promise and talked to her or if I’d turn and go away.
If I talked, it could be possible that she hated me for breaking a promise and not honor my word. On the other side, she might only want to say she is sorry for shattering my heart.
I looked to both sides and everyone was out; there was only the two of us in the room. I gulped, and with my heart broken I answered:
– I’m sorry, Menezes but I promised not to talk to you again. It was a mistake saying good morning to you. That won’t repeat. Excuse me – I asked leaving the living room with no courage to look back.
It was no surprise to me when I felt something wetting my face. I noticed a discrete tear was there.
I wiped it quickly, and joined the others for breakfast.
When I came to the table everyone stopped talking.
– Are you back talking to her? – Daniel asked, at last.
– I gave her my word that if she didn’t want me, we would never talk again. And I intend to fulfill my promise – I answered sitting down.
– You’re so stubborn. After all she... – Lu started.
– I didn’t say anything. He won’t listen – Helena interfered, arriving and sitting by her friend.
– But... – Lu started speaking again.
– Later, Lu – demanded the brunette starting to serve herself and looking very annoyed.
Lucia snorted angrily but said nothing more during the whole breakfast.
– See you later. – I heard Lu saying to Cláudio before pulling her friend out of the establishment.
– Now that they are out, can you tell us what happened? – Cláudio asked.
– She wanted to complain because I greeted her today in the morning and I said it wouldn’t happen again – I answered trying to close the subject.
– Did she want to complain about it? Are you sure? What exactly did she say? – Cláudio wanted to know.
– She said nothing but I know it was it. And if you don’t mind, I don’t wanna hear about Helena Menezes ever again. I need to erase her from my mind – I hit back annoyed and standing up to leave.
I saw the girls talking at a distance: an angry Lucia and a too calm Helena.
I spent the whole day isolating myself from everyone so no one would bring up last night’s issue. I went to bed late so I wouldn’t find the boys awake and I woke up early for the same reason. I was the first to be in class.
After some minutes, the others started to arrive and Vagner sat with me.
– Why didn’t you wait for us? – he asked.
– I wanted to think a little – I answered already ready to get up in case he mentioned Helena.
– Oh! – he said in a silly way before the Professor entered the room.
I was trying everything to pay attention to class but a small paper plane landed on my desk distracting me.
I really need to talk to you. Can we meet at lunchtime?
H.M.
The note was not very clear, and just by the signature I started to get discouraged because as soon as I finished reading it, one of the worst memories of my life came to my mind.
Previous night...
I couldn’t help myself in happiness. That kiss had been the best in my life. I offered her the arm and, without noticing, we were already going home.
Cláudio was a bit further in front grabbing Lu, who seemed a little way too happy due to drinking much.
Me and Lena? We were going side by side, thoughtful. I couldn’t stop thinking
what would the next minutes be like.
I was very excited.
I was going to ask her to be my girlfriend for the last time in my life. If she answered no, I simply wouldn’t be able to look at her; if she answered yes, this would be the most special moment of my memories.
As soon as we arrived to the residence, to the living room to be more precise, Lena seemed to be immersed in thoughts and I in restlessness.
– Good night – said Cláudio helping Lu to go up. – I hope you think well of what to do, Lena – he completed and I saw her lower her head.
After the two went up, we were alone in the living room and we sat in the couch in front of the TV that was turned off.
– I think that... – I started but Lena didn’t let me continue.
– Last night was wonderful, as yesterday also. You are not what I thought you’d be – she said kindly.
– And how am I? – I asked curious. It seemed like everything was going smoothly.
– You’re funny, sympathetic, smart... – she said while my smile and hope were growing.
– That means that... – I started happy.
It was all turning out fine... Finally, we’d be very well... Together!
– It means I liked being your friend a lot, Igor. But only friend! – she explained looking to the floor.
I don’t need to say that I started feeling a tightness in my chest. That horrible sensation of feeling aimless had took over me.
– Is this your final word? – I asked while feeling my heart would not have the strength to keep beating.
– It is! – Lena answered looking at the TV.
I wanted someone to come up screaming saying they’d got me. That had to be a bad taste prank but unfortunately, it wasn’t.
My world collapsed. That confirmation took away my dreams and hopes of one day being happy by her side.
I would have to live without having her at least fighting me.
I would have to keep on with my life without her. Would that really be possible to live without the muse of my dreams?
I know that men don’t cry but tears were clouding my eyes letting it show to the woman in front of me, now a stranger, how much that had jolted me.
I don’t know where I found the strength to get up of the couch. I walked slowly to the stairs. I knew I could fall at any time. Those were being the worst minutes of my life until then. I was leaving to never come back, I was leaving without her by my side.
My Last Chance Page 4