by Lauren Dane
He hoped Gideon realized how amazing Jules was. Sort of.
It was crowded, but not overly so. He was so proud of Mary, who’d taken her love of cooking and had made it into this. Into this little supper club idea everyone had laughed at until she had a nearly two-year wait list for people who wanted to join just to see what the fuss was about. She was a genius in the kitchen, his sister.
“This is amazing. I haven’t eaten this well in forever. Jules has been talking you up, and she wasn’t exaggerating.” Gideon winked at Mary, who blushed as she oversaw the delivery of the next course.
Jules put her head on Gideon’s shoulder with a smile. “I’m telling you, she’s magic.”
“Did Jules tell you guys we finally chose a cake flavor for the wedding?” Adrian sipped his wine and then his sister made an oooh sound from the end of the table.
Erin leaned over to look down to their end of the table. “You did? You didn’t say. You bogarted cake details from me? Where’s the love, Blue?” Blue was Erin’s nickname for Miles, and the boy blushed in response.
“Mum swore me to secrecy.”
Erin looked to Gillian as both women laughed.
“Shall we tell, Jules?” Gillian looked across the table to her friend.
Jules lit, all for Gillian. “Oh, all right. Go on. It’s your cake. And your day.”
Gideon put an arm around her shoulder and she leaned in to him. They were, Cal had to admit, beautiful together. Jules had an easy way with people she trusted. An open, bold personality, and she was that way with Gideon. It made sense; he was part of their extended group of friends from childhood. Gideon used to spend hours at Cal’s house in his room listening to music and talking about cars and girls.
He’d make her happy.
But would he make her as happy as Cal could? And did Cal want to know? Did he want this to be the new reality of Cal and Jules? This third person he had to mediate past?
Gillian nodded thoughtfully. “I think I’m going to keep it a surprise then. Just trust me that it’s going to be the best cake you ever had.”
“You’re a tease.” Erin laughed. “Once someone gets to know you, they get past that careful reserve and underneath you’re a vicious tease.”
Gillian laughed. “I have to be to keep up with you all.”
The food was delicious. His sister had outdone herself and he got up to tell her so. And also to leave behind the image of Gideon kissing Jules’s temple.
“I told you.” Mary said this as he snuck back into her kitchen.
“You didn’t bark at me to get out.”
“That’s because I wanted to say I told you so. Hello, that trumps everything else. Now that we know I was right, what are you going to do about it?”
“I can’t talk to you about this right now. I wanted to say you did an amazing job tonight.” He hugged his sister and she hugged him back.
“Fine, fine. Thank you. It’s going quite well. I tried some of these new local-sourced ingredients and that worked well, I thought. The space is really perfect. It’s so much easier for me to work in this kitchen than at home.”
“Relieved not to work the truck anymore?”
“I miss the truck and this summer I have a few jobs I think I can cater from it. It’ll be fun. But I don’t miss trying to find a place to park or dealing with all the city regulations and rules. The catering business is more stable for me. And more lucrative. That part is really nice.”
“I’m glad to hear it. Do you need help?”
“My staff is just fine, thank you. Now go on. It’s dessert time and Jules has outdone herself.”
He tried to peek but she pushed him from the kitchen without another word.
“You knew she was going to kick you out.” Jules grinned as he returned to the table.
“I did, but I had to push my limits. Plus I like to poke at her. It amuses me and keeps her from obsessing about how everything needs to be perfect.”
“You’re a good big brother.”
“I am. So tell me what dessert you made for tonight.”
Jules laughed and sat back in her chair to take a sip of wine. “Incorrigible. You’ll find out yourself in a few minutes. Be patient.”
“I’m not very patient; you know that about me.”
Gideon snorted. “Remember how you almost lost your thumb because you kept cutting the fuses on all those M-80s shorter because you hated to wait for them to blow?”
He and Gideon laughed at that one. His mother had nearly lost her shit when she came outside to discover Cal covered in black powder, Ryan and Gideon patting him with a broom to put out all the little smolders on his clothing.
Ryan apparently still found it hilarious. “You two got into a lot of trouble every damned summer. It was a boon to me, as Mom watched you two so carefully I got away with a lot more stuff.”
Cal looked down the table to his brother, still laughing. “You’re an asshole. You still do that.”
Ryan shrugged, unrepentant. “Hell yes. You’re still a troublemaker so as long as you continue, I keep flying under the radar.”
“It occurs to me that the two of you have a great capacity for troublemaking.” Jules leaned across Gideon, who kept his arm around her. It was an open, easy affection between them and it twisted through Cal’s gut.
“I don’t cut the fuses on my cherry bombs anymore.”
She laughed, reaching out to pat his arm. “That’s a start, baby.”
And then the dessert came out and he nearly fell to his knees with gratitude because it was his fucking favorite, a rustic apple cranberry tart. Complete with vanilla bean ice cream.
“You rock,” he said to her as he dug in and moaned.
“It’s his favorite,” Jules explained to Gideon.
“I can see why.” Gideon forked up a bite and sighed happily. “I can also see being involved with you is filled with plenty of awesome perks.” He kissed her quickly and she leaned into him.
Cal put his gaze back on his plate, but not before Adrian caught his attention and raised a brow.
Nothing like a secret crush everyone knew about.
He’d get used to it. Right?
9
Two weeks after that dinner at Delicious, Jules took the back door out after work. The street out front was still busy and she was so done with the day. Mary didn’t have any jobs that night and so she’d locked up, cleaned up and headed toward home.
Jules wanted a hot bath, a good book and maybe even a movie. She’d been up late several nights in the last two weeks and it was really beginning to catch up to her.
Smiling, she thought about the reasons why she’d been up late. She had a boyfriend. Like a real one. A man who brought her flowers and knew how she took her coffee. He was in her life but didn’t dominate it. He loved her friends and respected her business.
Gideon had shown up at her house with dinner and a bottle of wine and they’d eaten, played cards and fucked so loud if she had close neighbors they would have called the cops.
Things were very good.
“Hey, I’m glad I didn’t miss you.”
She turned to catch sight of Cal headed down the alley toward her.
“Hi, you. If you want a cup of coffee you’ll have to get it at my house. I’m closed for the day.”
She stepped close, knowing he’d hug her. But what happened was far more than a hug.
She saw the look on his face and worry sliced through her for just a brief moment as he pulled her to him and then he kissed her and she forgot everything.
He kissed her, pouring all his energy into it. The heat of his mouth against hers, the taste of him was shocking as he slid his tongue into her mouth.
Years. Years and years she’d wanted exactly this and it was better than she’d imagined. All her words skittered away. The scent of him filled her senses, his taste overwhelmed. He’d backed her against her doorway and kissed her like there was no tomorrow.
He nipped her bottom lip and she held on, h
er fingers in his hair. Somewhere she knew she needed to tell him to stop. This wasn’t okay. But it was . . . goddamn, it was everything she’d imagined and more.
He set her on fire and all the want she’d carried for him spilled between them and he feasted on it, feeding it back to her.
And when he stepped back, she gasped for breath and held a hand out, warding him because she was weak and nothing had prepared her for the reality of what he kissed like as a man.
“What. Was. That?”
He licked his lips and began to pace the alley. “That was a kiss, Juliet.”
“No duh. I’ve seen you kiss lots of other people enough to know. But why me? Why now? What’s wrong?”
He threw his hands up in the air. “What’s wrong? What’s wrong is that you taste so fucking good I’ll never forget it.” He continued to pace, shoving his fingers through his hair, disheveling it.
“What?” She gave in and licked her lips, tasting him again. Damn it.
“I’m tired, Jules. Tired of telling myself I don’t want you when everyone on the planet knows it’s a lie. I do want you. I’m tired of seeing you with another man when I wanted you first.”
She blinked, trying to clear her head. Luckily he was being a guy, which made it easier to put the kiss to the side to get to the real issue.
“You’ve had a long time to make a move. Through, hmm, let’s see.” She paused to count them all. “Candace, Elvin, Shaun, Carrie, and what was the last one? Oh yes, Diego. Funny how your move only comes when I’m seeing someone, instead of the other way around.”
He gusted a sigh. “Yes, I can see how it looks that way. But it’s more than that. Don’t tell me you can’t feel it.”
“You know, Calvin, I used to tell myself it was that you were really gay. I said to myself, He can’t admit it all the way yet, but if I push him and then we get together, one day he’ll be unhappy that I can’t be what he wants. I’d have been that woman, you know the one. The one who gets dumped when her husband finally comes out. More than how I’d have felt, I never wanted you to have to fake who you were. Because I love you.”
He started to speak and she held her hand out to shut him up.
“No. I’m talking now. And then, well, then you dated women too and I realized something else. You truly do like men and women both. So what that meant was that you were choosing other women. Other than me I mean. You made your choice, Cal. You made it and you can’t just come down the alley and kiss me like that. You’re screwing with my emotions and that’s shitty.”
He shook his head, miserable that he’d fucked it all up so much. “No, I’m not. I wouldn’t do that to you. I know what it looks like. But you know me. Better than anyone else in the world, you know me.”
“I’m with someone. I’m with Gideon and now I have to confess this . . . this kiss to him.” More than that, she had to process how it had lit her up from the inside out. How he’d brought her to the brink of an orgasm just from a damned kiss.
“I want you, Jules. This kiss wasn’t just a drive-by moment. It was my declaration. You and I are meant for each other. Do you have any idea how many people came by work or my house since Gideon has moved back to town? Everyone knows we should be together and I’ve known it too and I kept telling myself that I couldn’t risk our connection.” He swallowed hard. “We are meant to be. You know it.”
“What I know is that I’m with Gideon. He’s a good man. He takes care of me. He’s good to his granddad. He makes me happy. He respects me. And he makes me feel wanted and beautiful.”
“He’s a great guy. I can’t argue. But you and he have been together just shy of a month. I’ve loved you for years. I can’t let you go without a fight. You kissed me back, Jules. You were just as into that kiss as I was. And if you were so totally committed to Gideon, you would have socked me.”
“I should sock you right now.”
But she didn’t argue.
“You don’t get to judge how long I’ve been with him. You’re not the boss of my fucking emotions! He and I, well, he’s special. What we have is special. I’m falling in love with Gideon. You’re too late.”
Which was worse than arguing.
“I know what you need. I know what you are, who you are.” He stepped close enough to brush the hair back from her face and then he kissed her again. This time she pushed him back after a few beats.
“Stop that.”
“Are you denying your attraction to me?”
“I’m attracted to lots of people. I don’t fuck them all. I have self-control. Attraction doesn’t mean anything.”
“You said you’ve wanted me for years. As long as I’ve wanted you. I know the timing sucks, but you can’t expect me to let you lie to yourself. If it was anyone but you, I might just step back and let Gideon have you. I know you two have something, I can see it. But I loved you first.”
She swallowed hard and he knew he’d landed a few direct hits. But this thing between her and Gideon was far more serious than he’d thought. He tried to wall back the panic. He could do this. This was his job after all. He made arguments for a living.
“I have to go. I have to talk to Gideon.” She tried to move around him but he took up next to her and walked along with her instead.
“Fine. Let me come along.”
She stopped. “Are you high? No. Go home, Cal. Jerk off a few times. Call one of your many, many admirers and fuck one of them. You only want me because someone else does.”
He grabbed her upper arms, bringing her close. “That’s a lie and you know it. Don’t demean it that way.”
Her hurt had washed away, replaced by anger. “Fuck you, Cal! Demean it? You’ve fucked your way through dozens of men and women when I wanted you but now you’ve decided you want me? Isn’t that convenient? Now that someone else does?”
“Convenient? Is that what you think? You think it’s convenient to watch another man touch you the way I want to? When I know it’s my own fault for waiting too long? You mean too much to me and I won’t accept that I’ve lost you until we have this out with Gideon.”
“How dare you give me ultimatums. This one-sided bullshit pisses me off. You have had years to make a move and you didn’t. Now that I’m happy with someone you decide you want me and that if I don’t break up with Gideon to be with you, we’re not friends anymore?” Her voice broke and he felt like a shithead.
He shook his head; the hurt on her features tore at him. He never wanted to cause her all this upset. “No, that’s not what I mean. I’m always your friend. Always. That won’t change. I mean lose my chance to be with you. It’s not an ultimatum, it could never be. I’d sooner cut off a limb than lose you in my life.”
He leaned in and kissed her again. Softly this time. “I don’t want to imagine a world without you in it. I know this is unfair. I know I should have done this years ago. But I can’t go back and change my mistakes. I’m trying to learn from them.”
“I have to go. I was going to have an early night. A bath. Some reading or a movie and now I have to go to Gideon’s and tell him another dude kissed me and that you’re the other dude. Oh my god.”
There was no way she could skirt who it was who’d kissed her. Cal knew that. She was an honest person. She’d never let this go without telling Gideon because it was the right thing to do. But man, Gideon would be pissed off. Cal didn’t want to lose his friendship with Gideon either.
Since Gideon had come back they’d had dinner one night and talked a lot of cattle ranching, some gaming and books and then family law as they’d discussed his grandfather and the divorce too.
Gideon and Jules together would have been a hell of a fantasy to fuck his fist to. The both of them so beautiful and perfect. He liked to watch them together, liked the way Gideon had spoken about her.
Except for that part about how Gideon had the woman Cal wanted. That part wasn’t so sexy.
“I’m sorry that this will be uncomfortable.”
She rolled her eyes and
shoved past him, muttering. She was well and truly angry by that point and he wanted to smack himself because it always got him off when she was like this.
All that pretty blonde-haired, blue-eyed sweetness turned topsy-turvy into righteous anger. She was truly the hottest pissed-off person he’d ever seen. He’d made enough people pissed off to have a sizable comparison to make as well.
She spun when she noted he’d blocked her car in. “Really, Calvin?”
He grinned. “I had to be sure you couldn’t get away before I spoke with you.”
She shook her head. “Move your car.”
“Not until you agree to let me come out to Gideon’s with you.”
“I will knock the shit out of your pretty little car, Cal. Don’t test me.”
Goddamn, he wanted to fuck her right then. Oh, she meant it. She was dangerous, pissed off and frustrated. But she’d never have gotten this far along if she hadn’t cared about him.
He knew she wanted him. That kiss had been all the proof he’d needed. And then her confession about how she’d watched him with men and then other women had shredded him.
He’d spend every moment until forever proving to her that choosing him was the best choice. He just had to get her to that point.
• • •
Gideon had received a short and somewhat terse call from Jules, asking him if she could come over. Silly, that, considering her open invitation and the way she’d been with him most nights since that evening at Delicious just two weeks before.
He could hear the upset in her voice though and when she said Cal was coming along, Gideon began to wonder if his suspicions were correct.
It wasn’t very long until she showed up and he met her at the door, hugging her tight. Their connection clicked into place and he felt a little less worried.
“Are you all right? What’s wrong?” He lifted his chin in Cal’s direction as he moved to the couch and settled in, Jules snuggled next to him.
“There’s no other way to say it.” She licked her lips. “Cal kissed me.”